What people don't understand about abusive parents

What people don’t understand about abusive parents is that we can’t always hate them. We can’t just constantly hate them because a lot of them are quite nice half the time.
It makes it hard to hate them because it’s like “they’ve been horrible to me but they treated me to a present yesterday or a cute little chocolate bar so I’d me rude to hate them because of what they’ve done for me” and it’s destroys your mind because then people questions if they actually are abusive when you seen to like them at that time.

Abusive parents don’t ALWAYS seem abusive. Sometimes they can be sweet.

You need to remember that just because they were sweet once they aren’t good people.

They still hurt you. They still did awful things, said awful things.

Your abuse is no less valid because your abuser can seem nice from time to time.

Abusive relationships aren't abusive 100% of the time.

Just because they’ve got good moments doesn’t mean that the abuse is any less real.

Edit: I would also like to clarify that this is about any kind of relationship. This applies to anyone in an abusive situation with any person whether it be friendship, sexual relations, family relations, co-worker relations, peers, neighbors, acquaintances, teachers, students, etc… Abuse comes in many forms, but organized into three categories. Mental, Emotional, and Physical abuse are all very real, and it’s very important to understand the warning signs and even more important to get out of the situation as safely and quickly as possible. Things to Remember: - Don’t be afraid to tell someone what you’re going through. Find someone to act as a safety net of sorts. Make sure it’s someone you trust, and someone you know can and will help you. - Have somewhere to go if you need to get away. Make sure to tell your ‘safety net’ what happened, and where you’re going. - If you’re financially dependent upon your abuser then start saving money up as soon as possible. If you’re planning on leaving you will need some funding to do so. (The easiest way to save money is to stop eating out. Sandwiches are simple enough to not need cooking skills, and the price of ingredients will fit nicely in your budget. Trust me I’ve done this myself.) - Most importantly, don’t go back. I know they’ll say they can change, but the terrifying reality is that abusers rarely change. I’m not saying they’re not capable of change, but please be cautious of reentering a toxic situation.
30 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship

Please. Please. Please, keep in mind that ANY relationship can be abusive. Romantic or not.

1. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.

2. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

3. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

4. They accuse you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.

5. They try to control you and treat you like a child.

6. They correct or chastise you for your behavior.

7. You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.

8. They try to control the finances and how you spend money.

9. They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.

10. They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong.

11. They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language.

12. They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.

13. They accuse or blame you of things you know aren’t true.

14. They have an inability to laugh at themselves and can’t tolerate others laughing at them.

15. They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.

16. They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologizing.

17. The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests.

18. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

19. They call you names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.

20. They are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time.

21. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.

22. They don’t show you empathy or compassion.

23. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.

24. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.

25. They don’t seem to notice or care about your feelings.

26. They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual.

27. They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control.

28. They share personal information about you with others.

29. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.

30. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.

YOU DESERVED BETTER

To all the childhood abuse survivors out there

you’re choking me with the same hand that you’re caressing me with.
your mouth says the most awful things to me yet still tastes sweet when you kiss me.
you tell me you love me yet you act like you hate me.
and still, i can’t leave you.
—  e.s. // abused & loved.
You will understand someday when you are a parent yourself.
— 

basically every emotionally abusive parent ever

And then the cycle starts again with another round of douchebags raising children.

I hate myself for letting you do all those terrible things to me.