sorry 2 harp on and on about this but this behavior reminds me so much of when i was abused and like honestly

if a csa victim says something seems off about a “relationship” between two adults and a teenager you should probably trust our instincts

i’ve fucking seen this nasty ass behavior before and i know exactly what it is

anonymous asked:

Sorry, not a feel but I tried talking to my mother about the fact I may be autistic and her response was to attack me personally, cite research from autism speaks and claim things about me that are wrong, but she claims to know better than me.

That definitely sounds terrible, and I’m sorry that your mother is so unsupportive. Parents can definitely be very unreasonable about potential diagnoses and such. 

anonymous asked:

Argument w/ my mom two years ago: "Well I think you're not serious about being transgendered you're a tomboy and you're going to change your mind in a few years!" and then later: "I know that was a low blow and i want you to know i don't think that it was just what would get you pissed off and the easiest insult to say."

Straight talk: I think that my poor excuse for an apology will right the harm done by denying my child’s gender and telling them that their identity is “just a phase”. I am a shit parent who should really take a sensitivity course.

remember back in the beginning of the homestuck fandom where bro was held up to this heavenly pedestal and touted as a great guardian of dave

i shit you not, this man kicked his brother/son down a flight of stairs on screen and we were all fine with it

early homestuck fandom was wild man 

@newageretrovirus replied to your post “tbh!! she hates a character so much that she’s willing to spew…”

Abusers will invalidate victims through -so- many means, including “YOU’RE trying to manipulate ME by talking about your struggles” and turning other statements around to attack the victim. The claim that victims use their past suffering to gain “emotional leverage” over others is horrific and incredibly hurtful toward victims (and enables abusers).

saying things like abuse victims will inherently use their previous abuse as emotional leverage is so wrong and hurtful. that isn’t going to help abuse victims realize they are being abused; in fact, it is much more likely to do the opposite, convince abuse victims that they are in the wrong, they aren’t really being abused, etc.

OH GOD I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TO ACTUALLY SAY THIS

If you purposefully trigger people, and cross tag for the sole purpose of hurting others you are a piece of shit. I don’t care if you’re an abuse survivor, that doesn’t excuse your horrible actions. I’m sorry that happened to you, I truly am and no one should have to suffer that. But you are not immune to this just because you have trauma, and you must be held responsible for your actions.

If I got a speeding ticket, I could not just look up to them and say “sorry officer I was abused as a child” and then expect to get away with it. No. I would be held accountable for my actions and so should you for you downright awful behaviour. You’re not funny, you’re not witty. You’re not fueling some little reylo revolution, you are being a horrible human being.

I just have a weird relationship to the whole idea of fathers in general. like my dad wasn’t bad in an active way. he just wasn’t. I should consider myself lucky, probably, because a lot people have dads who are actively shitty and the psychological damage could be way worse than what it is. but the idea of dads who are, like, present and tangible and more than just a concept of someone who stresses you out with unpredictable phone calls and who breaks so many promises you can’t take them seriously anymore and who forgets your birthday and who you see maybe once every seven years and who you eventually try to cut out because he’s never bothered to be there and you’re tired of this liminal bullshit… that’s bizarre to the point of distress for me.

your dad scares me because I don’t trust men and I never really have and because he doesn’t fit into my extremely stunted concept of what a family looks like. your dad scares me because dads don’t make sense. your dad scares me because mine does, even if he never did anything to warrant it. he’s just a shadow-man, and that yours has corporeal form is threatening to me.

anonymous asked:

i keep thinking i might be an abuser like i have bpd and i kinda wanted validation but i never made them feel uncomfortable but they said it was draining to be in the relationship with me because i didnt want to talk about my problems ive been abused all my life i dont want to be an abuser myself i dont want to be that person oohgodoh gd

Hey pal, it’s chill. You got mental illness, and while that doesn’t mean you CAN’T be abusive, it DOES mean that it’s a lot deeper and more complex than a neurotypical person. BPD is ESPECIALLY something that your partners and friends need to really understand because something an abuser does and something someone with BPD does, even if they are ‘the same’ they’re still different because the root of what causes them is different.

If you’re acting based on your BPD, and they know you have BPD, I’d be willing to bet that you’re not abusive. It can be draining or trying for the others, but it’s not the same thing.

That being said, I don’t want to invalidate people abused by mentally ill people and/or people with BPD: it CAN happen, and y’all’s pain is totally valid as well. But the chances of someone with BPD going “Am I being abusive??” being actually abusive are very small. And it doesn’t help that common lists of “abusive behaviors” are pretty much… Personality disorders (HPD with narcissistic traits here and I will tell you, we’re not inherently abusive. But yeah it can feel that way.)

I’m not a professional on BPD OR relationships, but I think it’s really important for anyone you’re involved with to fully understand BPD and be willing to talk about it, because otherwise the relationship can be bad for both of you.

Sorry if my post stressed you out about this! But please, having a personality disorder does not make you abusive, nor does showing the symptoms of it. Abusive people 98% of the time know what they’re doing is abusive, manipulative, etc on some level. Having a mental illness (especially pd) kind of negates that, in a lot of ways.

In some cases it can make a relationship toxic, but that doesn’t mean abuse is happening. It’s just bad, poisonous. Often times mutually so, so please be careful.

anonymous asked:

sorry if you don't take "requests," but could you write something about this youtube video being an absolute dork /watch?v=po5CVY90YuM if not, could you just commentate on it or something? I need to talk to somebody about this because he's absolutely adorable i lvoe him

I actually don’t take requests ((but I will try to write something about this video in the future)) so I’ll just commentate about the video ^^

First thing I want to say is squishy, predebut Woozi is my favorite so watching this video really made my day. Two, tell me I’m not the only one who wants to kiss his cheeks. They’re so smooth and fair and so squishy (ᗒᗨᗕ) I highkey love his cheeks. It saddens me that he’s slowly losing them ;A; Next, let’s talk about how this child keeps making the cameras “kiss”. That’s just too cute T_T Also, I just realized how much I miss his black hair + snapback look ((please bring this back)). Lastly, his cute little chuckle is just music to my ears. It’s very boyish yet adorable. Like, how is that even possible ?!? ;A;

I’ll stop here because I’m now starting to get sad because I’m predebut Woozi and his squishy gloriousness (ಥ﹏ಥ)

- Admin Leen