With the suicides of Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell I think it is important that we notice something. Depression is not based in how much we have or how little. Depression is not a reaction to our circumstances. Depression is a disease, and these two men lost their battle to it. I don’t want to hear shit like “They are cowards and took the cowards way out.” If you believe that you are part of the problem. Honestly if you do believe please look at why you think that, because it isn’t true and by saying that you have proven to those around who have anxiety or depression that you will not help them, cause you really don’t understand or want to.
Depression isn’t something that you can fix by going for a run or being told “Hey other people have gone through this so suck it up.” Depression is something people have to deal with for their life time. Some people will need to go on medication, others therapy and others suffer in silence. If someone comes to talk to you about their struggle, please listen to them first before you start comparing it to your struggles or telling them to go for a run or that their heart isn’t in the right place. They may need to just be heard, ask them how you can help them.
Be there and watch your words. You may never know what people around you are dealing with. And with your words you may alienate those who need help, cause they will see your disrespect as a reason to never talk to you about their struggles. But if you are open and kind the opposite may happen, they may let you into their struggles and you can let them know you are there and maybe help them get help in fighting their disease, their depression.
<b> 1. </b> was called <i> fat <i> by Bang-PD and his manager before their debut, this was around the time Jin went on a diet where he only ate chicken breast for a year <strike> which no one talked about. However, when Jimin even mentions his weight ARMY is all on it </strike>
<b> 2. </b> Wasn’t allowed to attend his graduation because he had to sing two lines in their performance song. He was clearly upset, something even Jimin talked about. Moreover, Jungkook was allowed to attend <i> his <i> graduation
<b> 3. </b> His dream since he was little was to become an actor, yet he still hasn’t been given the opportunity to be casted in a drama by BigHit, while Taehyung was (in Hwarang). Even in <u> The House of Army </u> he was not given a role with any lines, even if he’s the only member in BTS who graduated in acting. He was clearly upset about this and talked about the issue with the other members when he found out he had no lines. All he did was to be a banana and clock, and was barely on screen.
<b> 3. </b> Forced to perform with an injured neck, and he was clearly in pain through the concert. Yet he smiled, danced and sang through it. No official statement was given, and he was clearly in pain both before and after the performance. Yet Namjoon who had hurt his toe was taken to the hospital, given official statement and sat through the dancing. His injury was not close to jins injury, where jins injury was more painful and in a more dangerous area. Yoongi was also given statement from BigHit and was taken out from the performance.
<b> 4. </b> He has barely any lines, and BigHit continues to give these bullshit statements. He rocked fire, and even in ballads, which they claim jins voice only fits, he’s not given any lines. Even Taehyung told ARMY to look forward to Spring Day, because that was Jins song. Yet he barely has a line.
<b> 5. </b> his composition for awake was rejected 20+ times by BigHit, and that is not the only one. He has tried to compose songs for BTS, yet every one was rejected. He wrote his own lyrics to Awake, which is <strong> not </strong> a happy song. He’s clearly sad an upset about his position in BTS.
<b> 6. </b> So little promoted by BigHit that a company forgot he was in BTS in the first place. He’s 2 seconds in the “Not Today” MV, yet he was all 24 hours they used to film it. Backup dancers got more screen time than Jin.
BigHit is just not abusing Seokjin as a member in BTS, but also as a person. Jin went on a diet and only ate chicken for a whole fucking YEAR. Yet, barely no one knows this. Do you think he won’t get hurt by this? That he’s so confident just because he says it in front of the camera? Why is only a problem when Jimin speaks up about his diet?
Pairing : Park Jimin/ OC , Jeon Jung Kook / GFriend Yuju , Kim Taehyung / IOI Sohye .
Request fic : An abusive marriage drabble with Jimin .
Rating : 19+
Warning!! Warning !! Warning !!
Author’s note : if you’re here hoping for the story to have a happy ending then I’m going to have to apologize. Jimin is a ..disturbed … person in this story.
He isn’t changing.
Don’t read if you find it off putting. Just Don’t.
Also this picks up from the end of Part 1.
Part 3 ~~ Why I stayed.
I woke up with lips pressed against my neck, open mouthed and wet, tongue licking the curve of my neck in smooth languid movements. I blinked groggily, trying to understand what was going on. I was sweaty and there was a little bit of my hair on my cheek. I reached for my face, only to be jolted by the feel of metal on my wrists.
I came to my senses swiftly, panic bubbling up in a menacing wave.
“Hey baby….” Jimin’s voice was sultry and low , drawling . I swallowed and tried to open my mouth but he shushed me.
“No talking. I’m going to be the one doing all the talking and the only thing you’re allowed to scream is my name…” He whispered, pushing up onto his elbows and leaing over me to kiss my nipples slowly. I was still not entirely sober, the last vestiges of sleep still tugging in the corners of my mind. Everything wasd hazy , like cobwebs.
“I got really mad last night.” He whispered suddenly and the words just instinctively made my entire body clench in apprehension. Whne jimin was mad nothing good ever happened to me.
“Do you think I’m suffocating , baby? Are you getting tired of me?” He sounded hurt, insecure. “ Tell me. Use your words, baby , go on.”
I took a deep steadying breath.
“Do you things I’m being unfair, wanting my wife to love me , the way I love her?” He whispered , lips trailing across my torso, thumb and forefinger toying with my nipple till the little nub pebbled up. It was cold . His grip wasn’t gentle and I breathed to my nose, trying to regulate the pain receptors in my head.
“No…No .. you’re… you’re not being unfair.” I stammered out, staring as he carefully levered himself up and straddled my hips, settling on my thighs, just enough to let me know he meant business. Jimin was dressed only in silk boxers, his erection pushing out through the soft fabric and it was almost pavlovian, the sight making saliva pool in the back of my throat.
“I just don’t want other men looking at you. You’re so good to me baby. You make me so happy. You’re the only thing I love with all my heart. and I’ve proven that to you…. And … i want you all to myself. You’re all I need. You’re enough. Am i not enough for you ?” Jimin said thoughtfully, palms cupping my breasts lightly , squeezing and stroking before one hand moved up to wrap around my neck.
“You’re enough. “ i whispered and then choked a little when his fingers tightened . More, tell him more , “ You’re more than enough. “ He squeezed tighter “ Ah… ow… Jimin.. Jimin .. You…You’re more than i deserve.” I choked out, tears stinging now and his grip finally loosened.
“Good. I’m glad you’re so self aware.” He leaned down, casually kissing my cheeks. And then he sat up again , reaching down to lightly spread my thighs. My hips cbucked up when he slipped two fingers inside me, prodding deep with easy directions, curling his fingers in a come hither gesture and rubbing the dsoft patch of skin high up inside me.
The spot that literally made me see stars.
I was shaking , my body trembling at the sudden stimulation , wrists burning from where the metal of the handcuffs chafed the skin and he pinched my nipple harder and the pain and pleasure all mingled together ito one helpless feeling of too much too much too much….
“But, if we’re going to go to this brunch thing , that hyung’s invited us to… I want you to remember something. You belong to me. if I find you getting too close to Jin or any of the other members for that matter, you’ll be in hell of a lot of trouble..” He leaned down again and pressed his palms across my waist, fingers spanning my hips and pinning me down before he used his legs to spread my l;egs wider.
“What did I say about not talking ?!” He slapped my ribs, hard and the fiery burn went straight to my thighs, making them clench.
“Now, let’s get started , shall we? Safe word?”
“Red.” i muttered.
“Good. But don’t use it unless you’re really hurting. You know that right?” He said sternly.
I nodded weakly.
“Look at you… I want to lock you up inside here forever baby…” Jimin whispered, sinking fingers into my hair, massaging shampoo into the thick strands as I lay in the bathtub. The water was warm , filled with camellia oil , muscle relaxants and some bubbly soap that smelled amazing. I was still in a daze, my brain sluggish and very slow on the uptake. Jimin sat behind me, leaning on the edge of the bathtub while I lay on his chest.
The welts from the flogger on my legs, the back of my thighs and my bottom stung and i wanted to curl into the water and cry but I knew why he’d been extra rough. Now, Everytime i moved or sat or stood or walked ,the phantom pain would make sure that my mind would always be on him.
I let my head fall back into his chest, whimpering because he was still hard, still inside me and i was sore. So incredibly sore.
He nudged his hips lightly.
“Ride me.” Jimin said softly. It’s painful, just the thought of lifting myself up but he helps, pulling out of me and turning me around till i was straddling him, knees on either side of his waist as i slolwy sank down on him.
He sighed and mouthed at the curve of my neck, kissing gently as he gripped my waist, lifting me up and bringing me down till i sank down on him.
By the time we were done, the water had run cold again.
Ironically, I wasn’t the one getting distracted by someone else that afternoon.
“I’m such a huge fan, Jimin ssi… I’ve been a fan from the time you debuted.” The girl was young and pretty, very lissome and graceful. She was apparently one of the trainees in Yoongi’s Entertainment company and Hoseok had brought her along to the luncheon in Seokjin’s huge sprawling manor home. She was wide eyed and I found her amazed admiration rather adotrable.
Now, if only she would stop touching my husband.
i shifted awkwardly on the lawnchair, fingers trembling a bit around the glass of chilled watermelon juice in my hand.
Jimin was sitting with Jung Kook and Taehyung, his hands tapping impatiently on the edge of his armchair, a telling sign of his annoyance. But he was dressed like a prince, white shirt stretching right over his muscled frame. Lean waist fitted in trim black jeans, belted tight with brown leather. His ash blonde hair was styled simply, his handsome face just ethereally beautiful.
And ethereal really did suit the three men sitting together, I thought vaguely. Jung Kook with his strapping , grogeous body and his dark, heavy gaze . Taehyung with the elfin , almost surreal features .
They looked like heavenly beings and the girl just sat there, not knowing where to look and who to watch, basking in their attention .
I felt a bit sorry for her. these boys were drugging. The withdrawal symptoms were going to hit her hard when this day ended.
“oppa… You should sign my bracelet…” She looked really young next to them, preening and simpering and i realized that she wasn’t particularly young.
i was just older.
We were all old now, I thought surprised.
Late twenties. no longer girls or young men but actual men and women
Married men and women.
But that didn’t stop these other women from wanting them . The maknae line. Women still worshipped the ground they walked on and in their eyes they could do no wrong. Beautiful perfect and just all around Gods.
Sometimes, the fan chants seemed less like chants and more like some sort of a spell, cast on unsuspecting female minds.
Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jung Kook.
They held so much power, I thought , mildly sickened . So much power that had been handed over to them by willing victims.
Women who were willing to sell their souls just for a glance, a touch .
And more often than not , both Taehyung and Jung Kook indulged them.
Jungkook , was staring shamelessly at the girl, eyes heavy with lust and next to me Yuju snorted.
“Look at him just eye fucking that bitch like he wants to strip her right here.” she said, bitter anger in her tone. i smiled sympathetically, reaching out to hold her hand.
it wasn’t exactly a secret, Jung Kook and Taehyung’s philandering ways were as old as the hills.
They slept with budding idols, trainees , rookie actors.
And while Sohye still clung to the belief that Taehyung would change someday, Yuju had long given up on him and I wondered , why.
Yuju wasn’t like me.
She was an ex-idol.
Sometimes, it seemed amazing that someone like Yuju, so beautiful and so smart and so talented, would stay in a marriage where she was constantly pushed aside for some other woman.
i moved to reach for the tissues on the wicker work table on the lawn , flinching when my entire backside throbbed.
“Are you okay?” Sohye said worriedly, her gaze soft as she helped me up from the chair. I managed a weak smile, my entire body sore and aching .
“Uh.. yeah. i must’ve slept funny last night. I think i pulled a muscle in my back.“ I muttered.
“Really? Are you sure it wasn’t kinky sex..?” Yuju teased.
“I.. What- no…”
“Don’t be ashamed. At least your husband has sex with you. And not everything in a skirt .” She scoffed still glaring daggers at Jung Kook. Finally, jung Kook seemed to sense the death glare aimed at his skull, turning around and flinching. He quickly whispered something to Taehyung who grimaced and glanced at us.
“Need any assistance , ladies?” He called out cheerfully.
“Not at all… Please continue with who ever you’re doing.” Yuju said pointedly and Jung Kook’s eyes flashed red with anger.
“Yuju…” He growled softly .
“Oops.. whatever… i meant whatever you’re doing. Not whoever. “ She giggled faintly and jung Kook turned away , ears red with fury.
“If we weren’t in public he would likely have slapped me.” Yuju said thoughtfully. A brief flash of hurt in her gaze made my heart ache. But it was fleeting. gone before anyone could see.
Sohye just smiled vacantly. She was staring at Taehyung , wistfully , her eyes heavy with regrets.
“I want to divorce him.” She whispered quietly.
Yuju rolled her eyes.
“We all know that’s not an option.” She said bitterly, pouring a glass of vodka and handing it to me.” Have some alcohol, y/n. That’s the only thing strong enough to help us deal with these bastards.”
“Why not?” Sohy sounded close to tears. “ I hate it !! i hate when he comes home smelling like another woman!”
What do you think will happen if we divorce them? you think you and i will land another movie role Sohye? You think any one will buy Y/N ‘s paintings? instead they’ll curse us out, boycott us… accuse us of being whores and sluts and bitches who hurt their precious ‘ oppa’ …… Yes, we have our own careers and we make money too…. but do you think we’ll still have a career if we leave these bastards? ” she laughed without mirth.
“ Why leave them ?” i said softly.” The fame. The money . The gowns and the envy. Why give all that up just to get away from a few bruises ?” i said softly , tracing the purpling skin on my wrists from the handcuffs.
“Hear, Hear!” Yuju chuckled. “ Why indeed? “
Sohye grimaced , looking away angrily. But she didn’t say anything.
i smiled a little and watched the three of them again . Jimin was flipping through his phone, fully ignoring the girl who tried hard to get his attention. i wasn’t particularly flattered by it. Jimin being unfaithful was never even a worry.
Because Jimin knew.
He knew that no one else would let him do all the depraved things he needed to do in the bedroom. And for a brief second, I wished he would.
i wished he would just sleep with some other girl and then maybe I could be the one to accuse and demand and control.
“But , Y/N can’t relate with us, Sohye… She has the most faithful husband in all of South Korea….” Yuju grinned, stroking my forearm.
“You’re lucky. Jimin never even looks at another girl. He knows his wedding vows and he takes them seriously.” Sohye whispered her voice trembling just a bit.
“ Do you think they will leave us… someday?” Taehyung says thoughtfully as they watch their wives, walking around the lawn, hand in hand.
“Mine wouldn’t.” jimin says easily. “ Because unlike you heartless bastards, I treat her like a fucking queen.”
Jung Kook shrugs.
“Yuju won’t leave me. If she does my fans will butcher her. Her parents already cut her off when she m,arried me. She can’t afford to leave me he says confidently but there’s a vulnerable undertone to his words. He sounds uncertain. Sounds worried.
“Well, there’s one thing we know. They won’t leave us this week.” Taehyung grins.
Jung Kook laughs.
“That’s comforting? “
“For this week yes. I’ll worry about Sohye leaving me next week, because i know she isn’t leaving me this week. Fair enough, right?” Taehyung grins.
“You going to fuck the new one? Or should i call dibs?” Jung Kook whispers.
“We both know she’s wet for Jimin… What say jimin? Going to break the chastity streak and just indulge a bit?”
Jimin shakes his head at his best friends. His soul mates he thinks, vaguely.
“Like I said, I love my wife.” He says honestly. “ i’m not going to hurt her that way.”
Jung Kook scoffed.
“Later , then. Losers.”
“At least do it after the brunch is over you son of a bitch.. Yuju is right here!!” Taehyung hisses and jung Kook merely laughs.
And jimin wonders, if this feeling of foreboding is something he should be worried about.
What if she really did leave?
He feels the sudden, suffocating urge to touch her.
He ignores Taehyung’s voice and strides out of the door. Across the lawn. He reaches her in less than ten seconds flat and a few minutes later, he has in his arms.
“Jimin!” She cries out, surprised.
“Don’t leave me….” He says softly, voice breaking.
“I… I won’t.” And her voice shakes. That little pause, that hesitation takes root inside him. It makes him want to claw away his insides. He hates feeling so vulnerable.
He hates the uncertainty. Because no matter how many times she bent to his will, no matter how many times she let him do those things to her, it isn’t enough.
He can never fully convince himself that she won’t leave.
“Please, y/n…. hold me…” He whispers, raggedly.
“Don’t say anything… Y/N please… Don’t leave… Just Hold me….”
But her hands lie limp on her sides and Jimin just stands there trembling. He wonders why she won’t hold him.
Was it so fucking hard to hold him?
His fingers clench into fists. He wants to shake her. Break her down and demand that she hold him. Demand that she love him. The way he loves her.
He’ll show her. When they get back home, he’ll show her …..
It starts raining then.
“Let’s go home, Y/N” He says softly. His voice is low, trembling a bit with anger and she senses it. She always senses his anger like the perfect little prey that she was.
Your cold face tells me everything rather than words I can see a break up rising over me like a high tide I know it will soon be our last but I can’t let you go Don’t talk, don’t leave just quietly hold me girl
AUTHOR’S NOTE : This is just… yeah. Sorry. Comments are love. This may be the last part.
Do people not realize having a legally documented prescription for something is what saved Park Bom from being charged as a criminal? Overseas laws are set in place with these kinds of things, she was LEGALLY permitted to use the medication - just not in South Korea. That’s why they only confiscated the medication and nothing else. How is that the same as illegally smoking an illegal substance like what GD and TOP did? And why did Bom suffer more than either of them (so far)? Here’s why: sexism.
I just find it disheartening how both GD and TOP were both caught ILLEGALLY using an ILLEGAL substance and everyone knows they’ll be fine. But yet Park Bom made a mistake of getting her LEGALLY documented and PRESCRIBED medication over to her home where it only needed to be confiscated, and yet her career has been indefinitely stopped for who knows how long. Gender has EVERYTHING to do with this and if you don’t think so - then you’re apart of the problem.