This is why you should limit her contact with her family and friends; she won’t have the energy for you if she’s with them.

Manslation: I am an emotional abuser. And I don’t even see anything wrong with that because here I am, explaining abusive behavior as though it’s the best advice I could give. I am garbage. I am scum. I am a waste of flesh and oxygen. Catapult me directly into the sun.

Women are encouraged to settle down with anyone who says they love them, and is prepared to put up with them – especially if they are in their late twenties, because apparently we need to find someone who can impregnate us before we reach 35. Never mind whether or not we actually want children, or only want children with someone who makes us happy.

I call enough of this bullshit. We need to stop listening to people telling us to compromise, telling us that we must “find a man” and put up with his flaws if we ever want to get married, or have children, or be acceptable members of society.

You know what’s disgusting? Emma Roberts beating up Evan Peters, and people are still supporting her mainly because she’s a woman. I see everyone that’s defending her thinking Chris Brown is a problem more so than Emma. (which, of course, what he did was a problem!!) But that doesn’t erase the fact that Emma’s doing is inane and abusive towards Evan. The fact that some “feminists” applaud women hitting men and calling it “girl power” is senseless. Abuse from a woman/man are both equal!! Why would you shame a man for physical abuse and praise a woman for the same? Guess what??? It’s all abuse!!! Abuse from both genders should be treated the same way. The fact that Evan bailed her out of jail and decided not to press charges doesn’t make it okay to overlook what she did because she’s a woman. This happens way too often, this is just ONE example. Women can abuse men. Women shouldn’t get a free pass after physically abusing someone.


Let’s talk about Guatemala. They’re trying to impeach their president. President Otto Pérez Molina is a bad man hiding behind the protections guaranteed to higher office in Guatemala.

A corrupt government is not in a position to police crime or violence, so lots of Guatemalan immigrants end up fleeing across Mexico to the US southern border seeking asylum. Folks living in Guatemala right now are struggling to improve the situation and hold their government accountable.

Here’s the summary:

+ The President is a mass-murdering profiteer who has escaped prosecution to this day, is caught up in a new scandal, and still refuses to resign.

+ The President and former Vice President are currently accused of making millions of dollars in cahoots with the same types of business interests and special international groups that sparked thirty-six years of war and slaughter called the Guatemalan Civil War.

+ Congressional President Montt is a convicted genocidal former-General who hid behind political immunity for decades in the same way that Pérez-Molina wishes to, but this week, Montt is finally facing justice. Everyone’s happy about the justice part, but it’s tempered with anger at how long it has taken and distress that all these politicians can hide behind government office immunity to avoid court rulings.

+ The vast majority of the Guatemalan poor have suffered for generations through hereditary poverty and recurring waves of ethnic slaughter against indigenous peoples.

+ People are marching in the streets by the thousands. It’s their country and they demand better leaders.

+ We’re all holding our breath to see if the current democracy in Guatemala is actually accountable to its people.

History and Further Info:
Colonialism left its mark and in the late 1800’s, Guatemala had deeply divided social classes: rich ruling class of landowners with international ties to OTHER rich people in other countries (US business people specifically), a mixed european/native middle class of artisans and low level gov’t officials called Ladinos who were considered ethnically inferior, and an enormous category of desperately poor Mayan and other native peoples who occupied the lowest caste. Land was stripped from the indigenous people; debt-based indentured labor and subsequent debt-based slavery tied hundreds of thousands of workers to plantations across generations. Bribery and corruption kept the middle class from assisting the poor on a governmental level. It sucked for anyone who’d gotten themselves born to the wrong parents.

It’s no wonder that, when the citizens were given a shot at a democratically elected gov’t in 1944, they jumped on it with two feet and brought a bunch of left-leaning politicians to power who instated land reform—dividing up the plantations and freeing indentured laborers—and started defining and honoring rights for all citizens. There was about a decade of hope and improvement.

It looked a bit like communism—too much like communism for the US in the 1950’s. The US funded and provided weaponry+training to the leaders of the military coup that overthrew the democratically elected government of Guatemala and undid a decade’s worth of reforms. US intervention disenfranchised the majority of Guatemalans, and plunged life back into the darkest of the ‘good ol’ days’ when US businesses enjoyed the very best in tax-exempt status, unrestricted landownership, and forced labor.

The US pushed the country hard for its own profits and benefit and in 1960, Guatemalans pushed back. What spiraled out of that was THIRTY-SIX YEARS of Guatemalan Civil War. Think about that. That war started when my parents were 2 and ended when I was sixteen. Thirty-Six Years: 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s, and more than half of the 1990’s. Measure those dates against your own life history. Imagine that you lived all those years in a war zone.

Because while this was a Civil War, it wasn’t a regional north Vs South. It was literal class warfare and the battle ground spread across the entire country. The foreign hereditary rich and the military battled against the middle and lower class native peoples who could only counter effectively with guerrilla tactics. The rich in power had US backing, weapons, and a secret police system that “disappeared” or outright killed more than 200,000 opposing Guatemalans.

All native peoples were suspect—if not of being rebels, then of harboring rebels. Starting in the 1980’s, the Guatemalan military, now well-trained and well-funded by two decades of work alongside US handlers, cornered the 3,000 guerrilla insurgents in the mountains and began systemically destroying Mayan villages throughout the mountains of Guatemala in a race-based genocide that was not recognized as real outside of the region until some time around 2007. People are still finding mass graves. Here’s a documentary & interview with US forensic anthropologist and a team of Guatemalan technicians, who because of all their experience, are now the world’s foremost authority on exhuming mass graves.

Here’s where current President Otto Pérez-Molina comes in. He was a field commander during these human rights atrocities. (Atrocities that the Reagan administration dismissed, downplayed and ultimately blamed on the leftist guerillas whose families and communities were slaughtered.) Current President Pérez-Molina worked under General Efraín Ríos Montt who was officially convicted of genocide and crimes against humanity with a sentence of 80 years in Guatemalan court. His sentence was put on pause though, and he was allowed to continue to work as President of the Guatemalan Congress—immune from prosecution. That has finally reversed and he’s being brought up again to face his sentence this week! Will justice finally be served? Will President Pérez-Molina and his vice president go to jail as well? Only the people of Guatemala and their elected representatives can say.

I’m a US citizen and a Latina, and I’m deeply distressed that our national news gives no attention to the 47 countries south of us. We hear about them from time to time when there’s a natural disaster, when a US citizen gets in trouble, or when we want to complain about the stuff that comes from those countries (typically drugs, guns, or people.)

I know we can’t care about everything all the time—and as much as it upsets me that all “latinos” from dozens of countries are interchangeable/disposable in the current US narrative—I do understand the logic. The news should be about the stuff happening closest to us and impacting us the hardest. No one has the time to learn about everything happening EVERYWHERE. That’s why there’s no nightly news segment about South Dakota.

But with the current US political race-to-be-the-cruelest talk about immigration, with our dozens of ‘Family Detention Center’ internment camps currently operating inside the United States, and with the natural concern about violence and crime that accompany drugs/guns/gangs/human-trafficking, I would argue that current events in Central, South, and Caribbean America are happening VERY close to us and DO impact us the hardest.

These issues may seem like they’re very far away, but they involve real people, are compounded by the foreign policy strategies of our elected officials, and ripple to all our doorsteps.  Spread the word for our fellow human beings in Guatemala. Learn about your country’s history of foreign policy. Pay attention to your national politics.  And if you can, register and vote.

I did my homework, but I’m no history scholar, and I’m not living in these places. I’m willing to learn if I need to be corrected and I’m trying. Please tell me what you think. If you know better, teach me.

#YoNoTengoPresidente #Guatemala #history #latinos #Protests #my links are informative #However they do give you more info on wars and human rights abuses #so we all know that info isn’t pretty and could be hard to deal with.

Photo credits to: Mosises Castillo of AP & William Gularte of elPeriódico
Taken August 2015, Guatemala City, Guatemala

On the topic of self dx, my mom is not diagnosed with anything, and knowing her, and considering she is in her 40s, I don’t think she’s ever going to seek a diagnosis.

The reason isn’t that she isn’t mentally ill.

The reason is that she never felt like it mattered, because of how she was abused. The reason is that the one time she did seek diagnosis, she was obviously misdiagnosed by someone who didn’t know what they were doing. The reason is because if her abusive psychiatrist mother thought she was fine then she must have been right?

This doesn’t mean she isn’t extremely mentally ill, this doesn’t mean she hasn’t struggled her whole life, it doesn’t mean she hasn’t constantly ended up in very dangerous relationships because of her symptoms, and it doesn’t mean she hasn’t been called a “crazy psycho” by abusers, with raised voices, in front of her only child.

So honestly fuck off with the idea that you don’t count if you don’t have an official diagnosis. My mom counts, you count, the teenager on the Internet that’s been told they’re lying counts.

Official diagnoses aren’t easy to get for everyone, and there are countless reasons it might be impossible.

I misread or passed every sign that told me you were the wrong fit. When people who I knew cared for me told me their concerns, I ignored them and said “ you don’t see what I do”. I was in denial for so long. You required me to give you the passwords to my social media accounts and saw the messages of disapproval from my friends, and you forbid me to see them anymore. Telling me they were intrusive and were going to influence me to leave over a bunch of lies. I stupidly obeyed your every request in the name of “love”. I believed in you. Even when you made me feel so small, even when verbal abuse became physical abuse, and I out of shame and embarrassment told outsiders that I was such a clumsy person. I defended the “love” I rarely received from you. I distanced myself from everyone. Isolation was always your game plan; your favorite tactic. To make me feel like I had no one, and could find no one better than you. No matter what, I held false hope in my heart for the person I fell in love with, praying they were inside you somewhere, and I could find them again. I was hellbent on “fixing” you and mending the “us” I always believed we were meant to be. I lost myself in the process. I passed every red flag and had met my edge. My only two options in my mind were either drive off a cliff and hope I make it, or stay with you knowing that you may one day very well be my end.

I risked the jump.

I know you’ll never read this, but I’m writing it for me. Logging how far I have come in just under 3 years time. How I struggled to find myself back, and tell my friends and family the truth about our relationship. I’ve regained control of my life, and I’m no longer afraid to move on and trust someone new. I’m no longer broken and wounded. I’m stronger than I ever was.

You have since gotten anger management and counselling, and have tried to apologize. but I can never forgive you. But I can move on. What you did to me does not dictate how I move forward - but I hope you know that you will live with the regret of what you did to me forever. & as scary a thought as it is, if you are ever blessed with a child - I hope It’s a daughter. One who’s innocent eyes always remind you a little bit of mine..

OTRA Detroit: Resources for Sexual Abuse Survivors

There have been multiple and consistent accounts that members of One Direction’s staff and entourage have been sexually coercive towards fans (including minors). One Direction fans, like all teenage girls, are made more vulnerable by wider social attitudes that teenage girls are there to be exploited and dismissed. Fans can share information so that if anyone is assaulted, abused or coerced, they know where to find support.

One Direction’s next concert is 29 August (Happy Birthday Liam) in Detroit.

A list of crisis centres in Michigan can be found here.

Wayne County SAFE Program’s website is here.  Their crisis line is  (313) 430-8000.  The  Detroit Police Victims Assistance Program website is here. Their hotline is: (313) 833-1660

The University of Michigan has a Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center and a 24-Hour Crisis Line: (734) 936-3333

Michigan State University has a Sexual Assault Crisis Intervention Team and a 24 hour Crisis line:(517) 372 6666

RAINN runs a 24 hour national crisis line: 1 800 656 HOPE (4673) and you can access on-line support here.

Love and solidarity to all the One Direction fans who have experienced sexual abuse in any context. We are all worth fighting for.

(a similar post will be created before each OTRA show.  If you are interested in being part of this project, please contact this blog.  If you have contacted us and haven’t heard back for a while - we’re really excite to hear from you - there’s some stuff we need to sort out).

i know we all think its cute and sad that pearl sees steven as his mom but let me tell you: when youre that kid its fucking horrible

after my parents got divorced my dad started treating me like his wife. i was 7 years old. its a huge emotional burden and its a horrible thing to put on a kid. i wanted to be loved for who i am but i still feel like he loved me only as a wife replacement.

no matter your opinion of pearl, no matter your opinion of pearlrose: dont glorify her doing this to steven. please

You guys, if your boyfriend/girlfriend won’t “let” you do things, like talk to your friends or hang out with certain people or do the things you enjoy doing, realize that you might be in a emotionally abusive relationship. Relationships are partnerships, and yes there is compromise. But please realize when it gets to the point where they’re telling you what you can and cannot do, basically “owning” you, talking down to you, etc. Recognize emotional abuse and just get the hell out before it’s too late.