abuse@tumblr.com

This program teaches people in the beauty industry how to support clients who are victims of abuse.

These hairstylists are learning to spot signs of abuse.

In one of the first programs of its kind, Illinois passed a law in January requiring abuse awareness and education for nearly 90K licensed cosmetologists.

1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of violence from a partner.

This is a great idea! Our society is filled with hatred to the brim. Very often, people who become victims of violence are afraid to talk about it. Now they can say about it at least somewhere …

“noo my parents didn’t abuse me! they just accidentally made me lose all my faith in myself and caused me to feel like a worthless failure who’s never gonna be good enough to survive, and they might have hit me but it might have been just once or twice so it doesn’t count, right? they just happen to worsen my anxiety and depression constantly but I’m sure they don’t mean it!! I’m sure they have no idea how much I’m suffering and I don’t want to throw such harsh words as "abuser” around because they might find out I said such a thing and get angry, and it generally doesn’t end well for me when they’re angry! I also have bunch of holes in my memories and blurred events I’m not even sure happened in which I get hurt but who knows if I just made those up! Better be safe and assume I’m making things up and overreacting! I know if I confront them and ask them if they knew they hurt me they’re going to tell me I’m just being hysterical and imagining things for attention! They just really think they’re right! I need to keep in mind I’m indebted to them for feeding and sheltering me, god knows that was tough for them! They had a rough life too, they don’t need me accusing them of being abusers as well! Maybe it would be easier on them if I just died-“

These are the thoughts of child abuse victims. If your parents comments make you feel worthless and like a failure, they’re abusive. If your parents worsen your depression and anxiety, they’re abusive. If you’re scared of your parents they’re abusive. If they used violence to control you even once, they’re abusive. If they accuse you of being crazy or making things up when you confront them on hurting you they’re abusive. If they made you feel indebted for simply not letting you die on purpose, they’re abusive. If they forced you to focus on their lives and their perspective of you to the point where you can’t even acknowledge your own pain, injuries, and your own point of view, they’re abusive. If your parents make you feel like it would be better if you had never been born, or if you died, they’re abusive.

One more (Pt.1)

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Yoongi X reader

Fandom: BTS

Request: Could you do one where y/n is dealing with alcohol/drug addiction and one night Yoongi (or bts reaction) accidentally finds out ?

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, harassment, cheating 

Originally posted by berry852

With shaking hands, you grasped the shot glass being handed to you by your loving boyfriend. Neither of you drank around the other and you were conscious not to ever end up in this situation but they were celebrating another amazing album of theirs and you couldn’t bear to disappoint him by ruining the mood. Mistake number one, you should have just said no. Instead, two seconds later you felt the warm drink already sliding down your throat with a heap of regret. You flash him a smile.

“I’m so proud of you, babe.”

Yoongi takes down his own drink before giving you a peck on the cheek.

“It’s not just me. It was all of us…but I’m not saying you don’t have to reward me.” He says with a smirk and a laugh.

“Oh really? What would you like a reward? You better make it a good one. There isn’t always a chance for when I’m the one owing you.”

Your tease was met with a new full glass of what you had thought tasted of cheap vodka. It was weird this was ever offered since the boys never really enjoyed hard liquor. Maybe fate was just trying to be a pain in the ass again and ruin the streak you had going for yourself.

“Hmm…how about you come by my studio tomorrow morning? I can make my demands then if you come to see me.”

You titled your head.

“What for?”

He shrugged, enjoying your interest. “Guess you’ll have to come to find out.”

You took the bottle of alcohol for yourself, starting to pour your own glasses.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You smiled.

As the night progressed you felt yourself being effected by the drinks you had downed but you tried to control the impulse to keep drinking ahead of everyone. Finally it seemed like the end of the party and the other members and company employees started to clear out. Yoongi walked with you down to the street, waiting for you to get into the cab.

“Should I just ride home with you?” He offered.

You shook your head, refusing.

“I’m fineee, babe. I’ll see you in the morning, remember? Stop worrying.”

Yoongi sighed and leaned into the cab.

“Please make sure she’s safe. I think she drank too much.”

When he turned to you, he gave you a kiss goodnight and shut the door to the cab, watching it drive off. It’s not like he had to worry all the time about you but something was off about you and he could tell. You seemed nervous around him and he couldn’t place it. He just hoped everything would be fine tomorrow. As the cab driver started your ride he asked where you needed to go and instead of heading home your mind was too set on what you had already started before. You asked the man to take you to one of the bars downtown, that way there was no way Yoongi was going to find out. That was mistake number two.

You handed the nice driver the money Yoongi had given you for the ride and stumbled out of the taxi, almost falling onto the pavement. A man’s hand had caught your arm and you felt him helping you stand up.

“Careful these sidewalks are kinda tricky.” He joked.

You were too focused on the goal of getting more drinks you didn’t even look up at the guy, pulling your arm away.

“Yeah, whatever…” You groaned, walking off to the bar in sight.

The man wasn’t giving up, following behind you. If you weren’t already tipsy then you would have more worried considering the side of town you were on and it being already 1 a.m.. Persistent guys were also not what you needed when you were already intoxicated.

“Hey, come on. I was just helping you out. You could buy me a drink for a thank you?”

You stopped, turning back to face him.

“Thanks but no thanks.”

He took a step closer, putting his arms on your hips. You tried to push him back but to no avail you just stood there, looking up at him.

“You should be grateful and quit acting like a bitch. A girl dressed the way you are isn’t down here all alone to stay alone.”

“Get off of me!” You yelled, causing a scene.

When you closed your eyes you heard a small grunt and felt the man’s hands slip off of you. You heard the skin on skin contact and opened your eyes to see a very pissed Namjoon. The man who just had his hands all over you was the same man that was now laying on the concrete in pain. You wished you could have just run off in that moment but Namjoon grabbed your wrist.

“What the hell are you doing out here, Y/N?”

You frowned despite being happy to see him.

“Nothing…I’m a grown adult. I can be out here if I want to..”

“You say that like I didn’t just save your ass from some creep!”

“I didn’t ask you to! I can handle myself.”

Namjoon laughed out of frustration. “Are you kidding me? Let me just take you home-“

You whined, leaning on him.

“But I want a drink…..” You brought one of your fingers to your lips.

“You can’t tell Yoongi though~ He’s so protective.”

Namjoon sighed, not planning on having to deal with this.

“You drank enough at the party. I’m taking you home.”

You squirmed in his grasp but still dragged your feet along with him as you both headed to his car. 

“Joooonniieeee I want more~!”

He sat you down in the passenger seat, putting the seat belt on for you seeing as though you weren’t going to do it yourself. 

“God, Yoongi’s gonna be pissed about this.” 

Your eyes widened and you pushed your finger up to his mouth clumsily.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhh. You can’t tell him!”

Namjoon gave you one of his famous glares and pushed your arm back int he car as he shut your door. He came back around and sat down next to you, driving you back to their dormitory since you couldn’t be trusted alone. The drive was mostly quiet besides your drunk rambling that came at random. You had your head leaned against the glass, watching the streetlights pass by in the window. 

“You know…I kinda have a problem, Joonie? Once it starts I can’t stop.” You said in a oddly happy tone. Probably just the alcohol speaking for you once more. Namjoon checked on you with a glance but kept his eyes on the road.

“I’m an a.l.k.o.h.o.l.i.c.k.~”

“One, that’s not how it spelled. Two, If that was true we’d know about it. Yoongi would have never let you drink in the first place.”

You shrugged, giggling. “People hide things. You should know that by now. Do the other members know you cheated on your girlfriend? Nah, they love her too. If they found out then they wouldn’t even be speaking to you.”

“How did you-”

“I saw you in one of the waiting rooms when I was looking for Yoongi.”

Namjoon clenched his nails into the steering wheel but knew you didn’t mean the things you were muttering out of your drunk mouth. Why did he do to deserve being stuck with this? 

“I didn’t tell anyone even though I thought I was gonna go crazy holding it in.” Suddenly, your expression had changed and you started to look more sad. 

“What, are you blaming me for you downing alcohol? Y/N if you have a problem then it was already there. I didn’t start it.”

“I knoowwwwwww. Stop getting so touchy…I’m just saying I was starting to get clean before that. I almost did it. Why am I so pathetic, huh?”

He stayed quiet, knowing you’d break out in tears any second now. 

“We can talk to the others and help you out. You shouldn’t have been going through this alone in the first place. Y/N we care about you-”

As he turned his head he found you passed out on the seat. It was going to be a long night for him and a long talk for him and your boyfriend. Getting home was a lot calmer when you were sleeping but he had to carry you inside, setting you down on the couch. Yoongi flipped the light on in the hallway.

“I know you had to go meet some of the company guys downtown but you were out for forever. Look, I need you to help me Y/N hasn’t answered me back and-”

He walked over to see your passed out body on their living room couch.

“Why is she here?” he asked.

Namjoon exhaled, already exhausted.

“I found her drunk downtown. Yoongi she has a problem. She told me on the way here that she’s an alcoholic and she was trying to get clean. My guess is she was probably down there trying to hit her limit for the night.”

Yoongi give the younger one a confused look, not knowing what to say. First came self-blaming, second was trying to rationalize it, and third was coming to terms with just wanting to help you. 

“You can go ahead to bed. I’ll watch her..” He said quietly, still in shock.

Namjoon gave a nod before heading off to his own room, trying to forget this whole thing. Yoongi sat down on the floor next to the couch, holding your hand.

“If I would have known I wouldn’t have-…..If you just would have told me-…..Fuck. Why can’t you just tell me when you’re in trouble like this?”

He knew he wouldn’t get a reply in your drunken state but he had so much to ask as he looked down at your tired face. Why didn’t he notice before when he saw the amount of liquor in your cabinets or why you insisted on being fine after having all of those hangovers. Blaming himself would get him nowhere so he planned to wait it out until the morning, staying by your side the entire night. When you woke up in the morning you sat up instantly when you noticed being at the boy’s dorm, waking up Yoongi from his sleep. 

That was mistake number three. 

Sherlock and Rosie

Imagine Sherlock always picking up and dropping off Rosie to school everyday. And he becomes well known among Rosie’s friends and classmates and is constantly mistaken for her father. And Sherlock’s awkwardness and brilliance made him very likeable among the kids at school and whenever her classmates or teachers ask Rosie if Sherlock is her dad, Rosie doesn’t bother correcting them anymore and proudly proclaims him as her dad.

Imagine if one day it was John who came to pick her up. And this time her classmates were confused and asks her where’s your dad, to which John replies “I’m her dad. She has only one dad, me.”

And the children responds “no Rosie’s dad has curly hair, he’s very tall and he knows a lot of interesting stuff, he’s not like other adults. Usually when picking her up, he’d tell us cool stories about criminals and stuff. Rosie always talks about her dad a lot. Who are you?”

John just forces a smile at that point. But when he visits baker street later that day after dropping Rosie at Molly’s place, that’s when he saw Sherlock and everything inside him went livid. He hits Sherlock, screams at him to stop taking his family away from him, telling Sherlock it was his fault that Mary died, and this time he wasn’t going to let Sherlock “steal” Rosie from him.

Ever since then, Sherlock never dared to pick Rosie up from school again. Even if John was busy. Sherlock didn’t want John to hate him. So instead he asks Mycroft’s minions to help pick her Rosie up and be her ride.

9

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It is unacceptable…

…to call anything that isn’t sensory induced a meltdown.

No ifs ands or buts

I don’t give a crap what they do at your place of employment if you work with autistics/others with sensory issues.

I don’t care what parents around you call things.

You need to start doing the autistic community a favor and call only actual meltdowns meltdowns. We have enough problems with cops/the mental health community/the medical community/the education community/residential centers/etc abusing and/or killing us for mistaking our behavior for other things. This doesn’t help us.

If you call tantrums/any bad behavior meltdowns, you put us at risk. When we need help coming out of the meltdown, instead of people reacting calmly like they should, we already see hostility and punishment. Kids should not be sent to the office and punished for something they cannot control. Adults and kids should not be arrested/restrained/killed for something they cannot control.

Again, this is something we CANNOT control.

You go to the doctor for chronic pain and they keep saying there is nothing wrong with you, that it’s all in your head. So you get a second opinion, then a third, then a fourth and each time you get told the same thing, that it’s not real. Eventually you start to question your own sanity and judgment, develop mental health issues and trust issues. Shut everyone you care about out. This is what gaslighting in the medical field is and it needs to stop.

anonymous asked:

Not related to ts or prinxiety but my parents are calling me "a fat fucking disgrace of a daughter (I'm a smol trans boi) that should never have been born". What do?

oh man, i’m not really good at advice and i’m not sure what your living situation is like but please don’t listen to them they are fucking scum and you deserve better. if you are able to talk to anyone irl about this whether it’s a friend, counselor, anyone, please please do. just please take care of yourself and try not to listen to whatever they tell you, they’re full of shit. 

pretty-good-dot  asked:

Hi! I'm writing a 17 year old victim of extreme childhood neglect, and need her to be able to speak English (after some therapy) but I also need her to be as un-adjusted as possible. How little Interaction with her parents can she have without her brain not developing properly (the way that Genie's brain didn't develop and kept her from learning language)

This is difficult to answer because there really isn’t any empirical data on exactly how much interaction is needed for language development. It’s obviously impossible to do testing on this ethically, and existing research pretty much exclusively focuses on the extreme cases.

However, I do have a few tips.

I’d recommend that she have had a relatively normal interaction with her parents as an infant, and only have been put into isolation once she has a grasp on language, if at all possible.

One of the factors in how Genie developed was the lack of stimulation in her environment; she was confined to one small, dark room where she was often restrained and rarely had anything to play with. I’d make sure your character has plenty of things to play with, and either have a large cell or occasionally be allowed to leave it.

If at all possible within the confines of your story, I’d recommend having your child character have access to a television with some children’s programming on it. Even a window where she could see and hear other people interacting would be enormously helpful in her language development. 

There’d still have to be some face-to-face interaction, though. I don’t have any sort of empirical data to support this, but I’d say at bare minimum 3 hours per day as a toddler. The face-to-face interaction could be stepped down over the years, to the point that it could be almost entirely eliminated once the character is an adolescent and has a good grasp on English. She’d still need something to keep her knowledge of English from being forgotten (so she’d still have to interact with people every so often if the TV thing isn’t an option).

Also - you didn’t mention this, but ask yourself if you want your character to be able to read and write as well as speak English.


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[Ask RPedia] Characterization of Emotional Manipulators

numbertwooflorien asked: Advice to rp as a emotional manipulative character?

Well okay! This post is how to RP an emotionally manipulative character, and in general a manipulative character. Useful for villains, and grimdark settings, it may include some crap people don’t want to think about. In detail. Major detail. So fair warning, I’m gonna get into psychological shit, and describe what amounts to abuse tactics with lots of explanation so if this isn’t your cup of tea, keep running. You might be able to use this as a way to spot toxic relationships as much as you can use it to play fictional ones, and I hope it helps people one way or another. But remember, keep it fucking fictional! 

This is presented as a way to understand those mindsets as a writer, which is important, and not in any way shape or form something you should do in real life. I acknowledge if you wanna do shit like this you’ll find the details on how to be an asshole somewhere anyways though, so I’m not gonna let you ruin it for everyone who just needs some writing help to make their character’s manipulation/emotional crisis more realistic. Onto the cut.

Keep reading

what i’m saying is len has a background very much rooted into him being abused. it’s undeniably a large part of his character in this universe, and has never been a discrete storyline. len’s character is in overcoming that and being better than that. they had the audacity to trample all over it. the fact that they did this to a queer-coded man of color, specifically a black man, is shameful. making len follow patterns of abusive behavior is really really low and outright disrespectful, i don’t know or really care what the intention is there, that’s what it is. especially when we know it’s possible not to write it like that. i really don’t know how this got passed around to multiple people and they all decided that was okay.

You are not to blame for the way someone else deals with their pain.

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