There’s no excuse for bullying.

“They’re weird!/They’re not normal!”

That’s your opinion, not a fact. What you really mean is “They’re not like me”. They’re not hurting anyone by not being like you.

“They’re cringey!”

Again, it’s just your opinion, and they’re not hurting anyone. Cringe culture is pointless anyway.

“They’re annoying!”

Once again, just your opinion. If you think someone’s annoying, why not just stay away from them? No need to be rude.

“They’re autistic!”

Shame on you. Get out of my face.

They’re fat!/They’re ugly!”

And you’re shallow. So what if you don’t like the way someone looks? It’s not your place to make them feel bad about it.

“They’re [any non-straight sexuality]!”

Get out of my sight. This is the 21st century.

“They’re trans!”

See above.

“They’re just seeking attention!”

You don’t know that for a fact. And even if they really are seeking attention, you don’t have the right to shame them.

“It’s funny to pick on them!”

Shame on you if you think bullying is funny. Get a life.

“I was just joking around!”

That’s no excuse. There are other ways to have fun that don’t involve putting other people down.

“Words can’t actually hurt anyone!”

Wrong. Words do hurt, and sometimes they can hurt more than actual physical injury.

“I’m not a bully, they’re just too sensitive!”

Not everyone reacts the same way. If you weren’t so rude, there wouldn’t be anything for the victim to be “sensitive” about.

“I’m just speaking the truth!”

Honesty is great. But you can be honest and say what you think without being rude about it. There’s a fine line between ‘brutally honest’ and 'downright rude’.

“I have freedom of speech!”

You do. But if you’re using your 'freedom of speech’ to bully and shame others, then you’re abusing it.

“But-”

No.

I don’t care what 'reason’ you pull out of your ass to try to justify bullying, it’s invalid. Bullying, whatever the reason is, is unnecessary, cruel, and totally pointless.

If you bully someone, you’re basically telling them:

  • “You don’t deserve to be happy”
  • “You’re inferior to me”
  • “Your feelings are a joke”

Is that really what you want to be telling people?

Is that really how you want to make people feel?

Be cautious with missing persons reports

I’ve seen the occasional post on here saying someone is missing. You have to be really careful about these posts. Often times, abusers will post a missing person report on here so they can find their victim. Here are some red flags to differentiate abusers posts and actual missing people posts.

  1. They tell you to not approach the person if you see them. This is a huge red flag. If someone was kidnaped they probably would love to see someone that can help them come home.
  2. They claim the person is not in their right mind. While this may be true for actual missing people, it is also a red flag if it is accompanied by “Do not approach them or tell them you can get them home”
  3. They say not to call 911 and provide their personal phone number instead. Kinda self explanatory. If it is a real missing person call 911.
  4. They didn’t file a missing person report with the police. Take a quick google search and if there is no actual report, be cautious as hell.

Abusers will try to find their victims again through claiming they went missing when in reality, the victim escaped. Be cautious.

Emotional Abuse

The following are associated with emotional abuse:

- Withholding love, affection and attention

- Ignoring, or refusing to communicate with, the person

- Threatening the individual

- Abandoning, or threatening abandonment

- Fits of anger and rage

- Engaging in chronic deceit

- Criticizing, belittling, ridiculing or demeaning the individual

- Negatively labelling the person

- Controlling their life and ordering them around

- Minimizing their opinions, and ignoring the person’s wishes, needs and preferences

- Gaslighting, and denying the individual’s reality

- Isolating the person from their family and friends.

A way my therapist has told me to approach childhood trauma is thinking about the child who went through the traumatising ordeal. You may resent yourself for not fighting back, not doing enough, or not running away, but you need to see the young child who was there, the one who needed protection, not persecution

OKAY

Can we address the fact that people with good parents get super offended when you explain how awful yours were? Saying things like “your parents would do anything for you”, or “you’re lucky they gave you a roof. Be grateful”. Nope. No you are not going to guilt me into thinking abuse was okay just because they met the basic requirements for the care of a child.

It’s wonderful that your parents are great and would do anything for you. But that statistic does not apply to every parent, and it’s so invalidating and dangerous to imply that, so stop. Think, really deeply think about what I’m saying and why.

Shoutout to the victims of child abuse who don’t feel innocent.

Whether you threw tantrums, got in fights, broke expensive things, said means things, or caused any other type of trouble, you still never deserved to be abused. Children are at the disadvantage against adults, whether they feel like they are or not. Your abuse and trauma is valid and you deserve as much sympathy and recovery just as much as any other survivor.