Regarding mental illness in Dragon Age

There might be happy and well-adjusted people somewhere in Thedas, but we certainly don’t encounter many of them! 

Almost every single NPC we meet has experienced at least one traumatic event sufficient to cause PTSD. 

On top of that, the oppressive political/economic/social systems in Thedas are inherently abusive to the vast majority of the population and thus there is probably quite a lot of complex PTSD as well. (For those unfamiliar with the distinction, complex PTSD is emotional trauma caused by being trapped in a long-term abusive or otherwise threatening/harmful situation versus regular PTSD is usually tied to specific significant events.)

Furthermore, the people of Thedas have almost no resources to cope with mental illness:

1) The scientific study of psychology (as distinct from general philosophy) is a post-Enlightenment endeavor whereas societies in Thedas are still in pre-Enlightenment stages of development.

2) There is little to no understanding of the brain. Thedas even lags behind the equivalent historical era on Earth with regards to knowledge of anatomy and non-magical medicine because research in this area is considered too close to practicing blood magic. 

3) There are no psychiatric medications – those are a 20th century invention.

4) Fetal alcohol syndrome is likely very common due to most people drinking fermented beverages instead of water because the water wasn’t safe to drink.

5) Prenatal and early childhood malnutrition are also likely very common, and cause mental disabilities. For example, the average IQs of iodine-deficient populations are ~15 points (a standard deviation) lower than non-deficient populations.

6) Childhood tragedy in the form of the death of a parent or sibling is frightfully common. At least one in ten women eventually dies in childbirth and only two-thirds of children to live to see their fifth birthdays.

7) There is no universal public education, no child protective services, and very little social mobility. If your family is abusive, neglectful, or otherwise toxic there is likely no one to notice and intervene on your behalf and almost no hope of eventually escaping to a better life. 

Don’t argue over which Dragon Age characters are mentally ill. Argue over whether they are any that aren’t.

Reminder to abuse survivors that someone can be nice to you and do kind/caring things and still have abused you. They can do you favors, buy you things, in general seem to care about your wellbeing and still abuse you. Abusers usually get to you by being kind. They reel you in and make you trust them and then they turn it around.
You don’t have to feel guilty or bad or unjust for calling someone an abuser just because sometimes they were kind.

anonymous asked:

someone deadnamed me on anon when trying to tell me I'm faking autism. and it was so scary bc it was like my really real first name that I have never gone by online and I'm so paranoid now and I just. needed to complain abt that I'm sorry

I’m so so so sorry, anon. *hugs* That’s terrible. I can’t even begin to process how that would make me feel, since it would undoubtedly be an old bully or someone like that. Know that you’re safe here. Please take care. <3

archiveofourown.org
Good boy
By Organization for Transformative Works

Louis is a broken omega with no self love and Harry is a strong alpha willing to change his perspective

Or

Louis apologises too much and Harry cares too much

By am_i_insane, PDBPD2323

anonymous asked:

So while I agree that gamergate went to far, and those people are shitty and hopefully the movement dies soon, Zoe was literally emotionally abusing Eron. As a female I believe a big part of feminism is about equality, and while a lot of the time it's guys doing shitty things, women are also capable of abuse and we need to be able to acknowledge that. She never deserved the harassment she got, but she also wasn't as innocent as I feel like you're trying to portray her as.

I’m really tired of having to explain this. After everything Eron has done, literally admitting to stoking the fires of GamerGate, saying he wished he had made the Zoe Post worse after admitting he figured there was an 80% chance she would be harassed for it. He tried to stop her from REVOKING her restraining order against him and lies about hearings for a restraining order that doesn’t exist to rile GamerGaters up. And on and on and on and on. He’s one of the worst abusers I’ve ever heard of.

Anything he says, anything he ever posted or claimed, is about as reliable as Donald Trump’s opinions on immigration. He’s horrible and if you trust his word you need to reevaluate your standards.

anonymous asked:

how do you stop caring about your abuser? i hate him when hes being cruel and awful but when he has his Nice Phases where hes the person i thought he was i get confused and its hard to deal with the lingering feelings i have and its hard going through this emotional back and forth. i just want to move past this awful part of my life. (i am not in a position where i can cut him out of my life btw) im feeling so sick from this

Cutting him off could help, but it’s not always the perfect solution.

People often care about their abusers long after they’re gone. It’s not unusual, but it does upset and confuse you.

Part of abuse is creating a link in which the abuser stays in your life and can continue to hurt you, even when you know they are abusive. It’s very hard for most people to get away from, let alone stop thinking and caring about, their abusers.

So you’re not alone!

Creating a proper support network and having plenty of encouragement and reassurances that you are better off now can have a good effect.

- damegreywulf

themarysue.com
Zoe Quinn Explains Her Decision to Drop Her Charges Against Her Ex
It's been a year and a half of constant misogynist abuse - from people she knows and people she doesn't know - and Zoe Quinn is tired.

TMS stands behind Zoe 100%, and though it’s disappointing that her ex and abusers will see this as a victory, this is one of those cases where safety trumps taking a stand.

Help a Mentally Ill latinx leave their abusive home

My name is Lou, i have 23 years old, im mentally ill and i live in a pretty abusive home.

Until now, i was able to manage living like that, it was bad but i was able to manage it, but the things have changed.

A couple of weeks ago, i had this big argument with my mother, and she gave me two options, I can start to act like she wants (That means leaving culinary school, acting ladylike, repressing my sexuallity and agreeing to have a gastric bypass surgery) or i had to leave.

Of course, since i don’t have were to go, i accepted to act in a more acceptable way.

At least until i am able to get enough money to leave forever.

And if i were alone, i would leave right now, living in the street is better than this.

But i have a dog, Miranda, who is the only reason i’m still alive right now and if i did that i couldn’t take her with me.

I could live like that, but the thought of getting gastric surgery terrifies me beyond measure.

I might be able to delay it until august of this year.

That meas that i have less than six months to save enough money to leave.

I will mostly need money to cover basic stuff like the apartment deposit and rent until i can find a new job.

So if any of you can donate even one dollar, i will be forever grateful!


Here is the donation link!

And if you cant donate, please, reblog and signal boost this.

[photo // post]

[[ Image Description: A photo featuring a young cheetah arguing with its parent, with a post on it by user willurl.

The post reads: “when your child comes to you and says “this is something that makes me uncomfortable and unhappy and makes me not want to spend time with you” and you respond with a 20 minute speech that boils down to “deal with it because life sucks” you have no respect for your child and you need to change your parenting tactics” ]]

In Defense of Anger

I’m coming to realize that I hold a lot of repressed anger. In reflecting on this It occurred to me that anger is an emotion that is extremely taboo to express. When you say that you’re angry there is typically pressure to justify how you’re feeling. This wouldn’t be true for most other emotions like happiness or love. Of course there is a safety concern in releasing anger without causing harm both physically, mentally and emotionally to yourself and others, but expressing anger is commonly thought to be “bad” behavior. Things happen and we get angry about them. This is normal and human. I encourage you to join me in exploring anger and releasing it in healthy ways.

Pointing out that romanizing abuse makes it easier for abusers to normalize abusive concepts in order to hurt someone is not blaming the victim nor is it negating responsibility from the abuser. Saying that abusers often condition and groom potential victims using tv, movies, books, and even fanfic as “examples” of how normal what they are doing is does not place blame on the victim or the media. But it does happen. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

kevin-the-chicken asked:

Okay this a weird question, but what sorts of people were Baby Ben's imaginary partners. Like, were they based off of what /he/ wanted from a partner, ripped straight from his fantasies, or were they what Snoke /thought/ a teenage boy would be into. Because it seems to me like Snoke paid a ton of mind to physical appeal, whereas Kylo was looking for a /emotional/ appeal (this fic slays me).

That is actually a really good question! I’m glad you wondered: They were creepily indistinct, actually, to the point that Ben could kind of ‘customize’ them without realizing he was doing it. Snoke gave no fucks about what Ben wanted from anything beyond what he needed to remain controlled, so he wouldn’t want to put any energy into this really, and in some sense Ben was doing the real work. This is also why he eventually realized they weren’t actual people, though he suppressed the realization because it was horrifying on some level. There was never any emotional connection to them, though that was something he would have customized if he could have, because that just wasn’t within Snoke’s power to create. Like they wouldn’t even talk to Ben :/

AND this is actually important to what happened between him and Hux—I was talking about this in an email yesterday: basically, Ren had never been with a real person, but he’d had these intense experiences that felt real for a certain period of time, and these were “people” who would just wordlessly show up in his room/bed at night and service him, so when Hux turns up in his bed on the Finalizer, Ren is not consciously thinking ‘well he’s come here to please me’ but his history with these weird visitations is part of why his mind eventually goes there and he just yanks at Hux’s pants. Like, this reaction to Hux is part of how stunted and clueless about the reality of other people Ren really is.

But then he reads this totally unexpected feedback from Hux that has to do with Hux’s past experience with sex, and that’s when Ren stops and asks if he can actually do this, and it’s a big moment/big deal for Ren that this is an actual person who is giving his permission and has desires of his own. Just being able to actually read signals from a partner and make them feel things (as opposed to those delusions, which didn’t give any feedback re: their own sensations and of course didn’t want anything for themselves, not being real) is the most mind-blowing, amazingly enjoyable thing to him at that point, and he’s already irreversibly attached to Hux by the end of that scene, though he doesn’t let on about that for quite a while.

This is also why Ren comments on Hux’s shape/lines later, because those other indistinct people were like, constantly shifting in some ways that he wasn’t entirely conscious of but was subconsciously noticing—whereas Hux has a solid shape that doesn’t change and it’s such a relief, he loves that ;__;

Thank you for asking!!

In case you were wondering,
in case I ever cross your mind
or cause you to lose sleep at night,
I turned out just fine.

Whether I am sleeping alone or
in someone else’s bed,
all of your demons are gone from my head.

But sometimes, I feel those wounds again.
When I do, he sees my tears
and knows my fears
and reassures me with steady hands
and strong arms.

My pain is in knowing
that no matter how much good he does,
it can never erase your harm.

—  (Open letter to my abuser, part 2)  // S.K.K. // February 11, 2016 //