I’ve seen the occasional post on here saying someone is missing. You have to be really careful about these posts. Often times, abusers will post a missing person report on here so they can find their victim. Here are some red flags to differentiate abusers posts and actual missing people posts.
They tell you to not approach the person if you see them. This is a huge red flag. If someone was kidnaped they probably would love to see someone that can help them come home.
They claim the person is not in their right mind. While this may be true for actual missing people, it is also a red flag if it is accompanied by “Do not approach them or tell them you can get them home”
They say not to call 911 and provide their personal phone number instead. Kinda self explanatory. If it is a real missing person call 911.
They didn’t file a missing person report with the police. Take a quick google search and if there is no actual report, be cautious as hell.
Abusers will try to find their victims again through claiming they went missing when in reality, the victim escaped. Be cautious.
A way my therapist has told me to approach childhood trauma is thinking about the child who went through the traumatising ordeal. You may resent yourself for not fighting back, not doing enough, or not running away, but you need to see the young child who was there, the one who needed protection, not persecution
Can we address the fact that people with good parents get super offended when you explain how awful yours were? Saying things like “your parents would do anything for you”, or “you’re lucky they gave you a roof. Be grateful”. Nope. No you are not going to guilt me into thinking abuse was okay just because they met the basic requirements for the care of a child.
It’s wonderful that your parents are great and would do anything for you. But that statistic does not apply to every parent, and it’s so invalidating and dangerous to imply that, so stop. Think, really deeply think about what I’m saying and why.
Shoutout to the victims of child abuse who don’t feel innocent.
Whether you threw tantrums, got in fights, broke expensive things, said means things, or caused any other type of trouble, you still never deserved to be abused. Children are at the disadvantage against adults, whether they feel like they are or not. Your abuse and trauma is valid and you deserve as much sympathy and recovery just as much as any other survivor.