My father works a lot overseas and when we immigrated he only came around every three months and stayed for a week or two. This has left all the raising up of my siblings and I to my mother.

Whenever, we’re being “difficult” or “troublesome,” my father blames everything on my mom and says that she didn’t raise us right. He thinks his role as a parent is just to provide money and visit a few times.

When my father does visit, there is always a physical altercation with one of us. Because my mom can also be manipulative and controlling too, when they’re both together, I can’t deal.

He has been absent for most of my life and whenever I’m honest with my mother about this, she always gets defensive. I will never understand how she can deal with his emotional and verbal abuse, and still defend him.

This is why I’m convinced that I will never marry a man just so that he can control my life because I’ve seen how it has driven my mom to be manipulative with her children as well.

Awareness is tricky. At first you’re sad, upset, uncomfortable. You start to realize all the unfairness in your life. You stop lying to yourself and admit that what happened to you was wrong and after you grieve what you idealized, you start making the right choices. You start living.
—  Crazed Love.

Unpopular opinion but I think it’s extremely unhealthy to be romanticising behaviours like “she always put him first, even when he hurt her” or “he loved them more than he loved himself”. It’s not cute or romantic, it’s super self destructive, actually. We shouldn’t be normalizing it. If you’re in a situation where you feel this way, it’s important to talk to somebody and get help. It’s unhealthy and you deserve to be happy and have healthy relationships.

anonymous asked:

I knew my mother was not okay with me being a lesbian but this morning she took me to the doctor for a "check up" but in the car she says she wants me to talk to the doctor about me not liking guys and what I can do to fix it I wasn't out to the doctor but now I am and I am being referred to a psychiatrist because doc sided with mother saying I'll find the right guy Im so upset its 2 am I cant sleep. Wonderful mods I love you plz I need good vibes for me a scared anon

I’m so sorry baby doll, I’m sending you all my love, that’s terrifying and you deserve so much better than that. :( 

IT’S OKAY TO FORGIVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRUAMATIZED YOU OR ABUSED YOU!
IT’S OKAY TO NEVER FORGIVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRUAMATIZED YOU OR ABUSED YOU!
YOU’RE IN CONTROL OF WHO’S IN YOUR LIFE AND WHO ISN’T! YOU ARE IN CONTROL!

anonymous asked:

Hi, first of all, thank you for all that you guys do, you guys are like the human embodiment of Jesus himself, so thanks. So I've been looking for a fic where Phil saves Dans life, I think they're young and it has to do with the ocean and then years later when they've fell out of contact, Phil ends up saving his life again and they start dating. Can you please help me find it. I think it was on a03

Savior (ao3) - Dan Howell is 13 when he first meets Phil Lester.He was on vacation with his mum and brother when Phil saved him from drowning.
Dan thought that true love at first sight is real just from looking into those bright blue eyes.Those bright blue eyes that he can’t ever get out of his mind.Those bright blue eyes that he thought that he would never see again after his vacation ended.Even after 7 years, He still thinks about that beautiful boy who saved his life.He thought that he wouldn’t ever see him again.But then He does, when Phil saves his life once more.

- Eliza

lackiingclass  asked:

Is there any chance I could have a star? I know that I'm the reason for most of my problems, and I just feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm in a toxic, abusive relationship with someone I love so much, and I don't know how to get out. Your stars seem to really give people hope.

I’d like to say that, no matter what, you deserve love and respect. You deserve to be in a loving, nurturing relationship where you help each other grow. You don’t deserve to be abused, and you are not to blame for it. If you are ever in danger, don’t hesitate to leave and/or get help - your health and safety come first.

I used to feel extremely uncomfortable with myself, especially when looking in the mirror (I still do, actually). One thing I’ve found that helps is repeating at least one kind thing to yourself every day. “I can do this”, “I like my hair/eyes/smile”, “I like my determination/will power”, etc. It feels like a lie at first, but keep telling yourself that one thing every day, and slowly it’ll feel true.

You are beautiful, you are important, you matter, and you are worthy of love and respect. It’s okay to ask for these things, and it’s okay to look out for yourself and your own well-being. I hope things get better soon, friend <3

Keep on shining!
♥ Courtney

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'd like to request a star... I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for two years and I've just been feeling super down now that I'm out it, I don't know. I feel like I lost a lot of my life and I don't know where I'm going anymore.

It’s completely okay to feel down after being in a relationship for so long, even if it was abusive; you get used to the other person and get used to being with them. In a sense you did lose a lot of your life.

I am happy that you’re out of that relationship though - you do not deserve to be abused, especially by a loved one. I know things are all up in the air right now and you have lost sight of the direction you’re headed in, but I believe that things will get better. You will find your direction, friend.

Take some time to focus on yourself, take care of yourself, and find out what you want to do next. Look into what you like to do - hobbies you enjoy, activities you like doing, anything that you’d like to take time to explore further. This is your life, and you can live it any way you want <3

Keep on shining!
♥ Courtney