absolute-dude

srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the fucking time

like where if he knows a grl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug (and he knows- that’s why she didn’t fucking hug you the first time), he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him

if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.

she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact

it’s a fucking trap

i had what is probably the most confidence-boosting moment of my DM career tonight, and it took maybe forty-five seconds

the party rolled into town, and they were looking around, seeing what was going on, and i mentioned that there were a couple of shrines by the roadside, one with seven icons, and one with none

and the players asked who the seven gods were

and as i explained (okay, so the chief god is adrasteia, and she XYZ) they like… were actually interested? and gave like active listening cues? and one of them was all “dude i absolutely am into this one she sounds amazing”

and when i’d explained each of them in elevator-pitch mode, the cleric was all “okay, so, i light some incense for the harvest goddess to apologize for stealing her temple, and leave ten copper for the god of death and healing because he’s a kindred spirit with mine”

and the rogue (the rogue) was all “yeah i leave nine copper for the goddess of magic because i feel like she really speaks to me”

it was just like. a lot of effort that i’d put in for something i really enjoyed, and other people enjoyed it too. it was the best feeling ever.

MANIA is going to by far be the longest time fob has ever spent recording an album as compared to tttyg (2 weeks, which they said was very rushed), futct (2 months), ioh (3 months, but pete talked about it in gray about how the record label wanted to get it out fast), fad (2 months, notoriously rushed as hell), srar (5 months, but they were finding their groove as a band again after the hiatus), abap (2 months, but they tried to get it out ASAP to get out of the studio because they had new kids and stuff)

and then U have MANIA.. which fob has been working on and off since the bloom tour last year.. which is like what? 15 months once its out in janurary 2018? wild. absolutely fuckin WILD dude and i am so soooo ridiculously stoked to see what fob’s gonna do with this one considering their REALLY reaaallly taking their time on it, more so than any other album theyve done before and by like a really drastic difference

  • naruto: idk i think i dont really wanna be hokage anymore
  • sasuke: huh?
  • naruto: i mean like. it was kind of a kiddy dream, right? i don't really think i want the job, i don't think i'd be very good at it. i just wanted the acknowledgement, really, but i've got that! and i've got friends, and family... i think i'm good.
  • sasuke: that's good, then.
  • naruto: but idk what else to do with my life if i don't do that, you know? that was the whole plan.
  • sasuke: are you asking me for advice?
  • naruto: i mean, i guess?
  • sasuke: dude i didn't plan to live past like, max 17. i'm wingin' absolutely everything here.
  • naruto: dude
  • sasuke: why do you think all my decisions are so poorly thought out?
  • naruto: because you're stupid?
  • sasuke: shut the fuck up
Learning Curve

Summary: Stiles likes being Cora’s roommate, but he’s pretty sure her brother is hitting on him.

Notes: Inspired by this post. I’m not really into the sugar daddy thing, so I went a different direction with this. (On AO3)


Stiles is sitting at a picnic table in the shade, trying to get some studying done, when he hears someone calling his name. He looks up just in time to see Scott grin and say, “Hey, man!” as he sits down across from him.

Stiles smiles and shuts his book, eager for the chance to take a break.

“So, how’s it going?” Scott asks, leaning his arms on the table like he’s ready to settle in. “I know you were sad about having to move in with someone new, after I started living with Allison. So what’s it like, being roommates with Cora?”

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Being stalked when you aren’t famous or particularly attractive really is the weirdest thing. I learned that when I was sports writing for Bleacher Report.

*this guy, and some other dudes were absolutely obsessed with trashing me*

*Me* “But I’m not Charlize Theron. Or Megan Fox. I’m, eh, not that good-looking. I have chubby cheeks. Why bother with me?”

*one guy in the comments* “Because between the legs, it’s the same thing.”

The reason the line of argument that tries to defend video game content warnings by comparing them to accessibility features for physical disabilities doesn’t work is because the people who take issue with the former quite often take issue with the latter, too. I once witnessed a dude absolutely losing his shit in a public forum over the fact that a game he’d pre-ordered included a brief epilepsy warning in its opening splash screens.

sombra can’t do jack shit to hanzo because that dude has absolutely no secrets. she can’t threaten to embarrass him because he already beat her to the punch. she can’t expose the ways in which he’s fucked up because he basically just tells everyone what he’s done wrong as soon as he meets them. everything he’s ashamed of, he wears on his sleeve. his right sleeve. because his left sleeve is tastefully pulled down, exposing his nipple. 

Taako: Hey, Klarg.

Klarg: Yes sir?

Taako: Can you scoot on over closer to that tank?

Klarg: That seems dangerous, are you sure about that?

Taako: Oh, positively my dude.

Klarg: What are you gonna do now? Now I’m worried.

Taako: Hey, listen, we’re buds right? For life?

Klarg: Yeah, you’re my- are you asking if you’re my main dude?

Taako: Yeah, are we main dudes?

Klarg: I would say absolutely we are main dudes.

Taako: Excellent. Can you hop on that tank for me?

9

Dude…absolutely..100%…Pidge is the embodiment of Peridot GOLLY I love them?? Also love them being fam af and Lance being super annoying to Pidge
Inspired by this rad episode

anonymous asked:

Hello fellow Stoner hahaha. Where can I acquire some of that Good Kush? You know, the Dank Weed, my man? I am not a police officer.

absolutely my dude, here ill hand you my Weed Address Book it’s got the names and phone numbers of every dealer this side of the mi- hey wait a minute… *rips off ur anon sunglasses and ur pupils are police badges that say “IM A COP”* oh why i oughta

You and Me

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Originally posted by auliicraval

 A/N: This gif has absolutely nothing to do with the writing but Cameron Boyce is so cute. This sucks sm and I know that some of you guys didn’t ask to be tagged but you commented so I tagged you.

Tags: @opalescentobrien @pinkgirlisepic @emrysaaryn @bubbles2428 @sweet-nightingale-171

Carlos’s POV 

Where could she possibly be? I didn’t know her well enough to know where she’d go when she’s upset. (Y/N) didn’t seem like the type of person to go back to her room when she was hurt. I racked my knowledge of the campus and thought of the prettiest place in all of Auradon. The Enchanted Lake, that’s where she had to be.

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Karkat: WOW EARTH MOVIES SURE ARE OBSESSED WITH PALE ROMANCE BETWEEN MALES

John: um. what? 

Karkat: ALL THESE MOVIES ABOUT THRESHCUTIONERS TEAMING UP AND THEN TURNING DEEPLY PALE FOR EACH OTHER 

John: …i have no idea what you’re talking about as usual! 

Dave: dude stop being obtuse obviously he means buddy cop movies. 

John: oh!
John: those aren’t romance, though. they’re just one hundred percent platonic bromance!
John: i can see how that might be confusing from an alien perspective though 

Karkat: ‘BROMANCE’. IS THIS SOME BULLSHIT HUMAN SLANG STRIDER HASN’T TAUGHT ME YET? IT SOUNDS LIKE SOME IDIOTIC PORTMANTEAU HIS LUSUS MIGHT MAKE UP. 

John: well i’m not actually sure about that
John: since dirk is actually gay 
John: but bromance is like what dave and i have! just like two dude friends bro-ing it up with absolutely no homoerotic overtones

Dave: dude im frankly fucking insulted
Dave: were at least like twenty
Dave: maybe twenty five percent homoerotic 

Karkat: PLEASE. THE EIGHT OF YOU HUMANS ARE THE MOST DISGUSTING PILE OF PALE CLUSTERFUCK I’VE EVER SEEN. YOU’RE A PALE GANGBANG.

John: ew karkat! 
John: that’s just friendship! 

Dave: just give up dude dont even worry about it
Dave: just wait til he gets started on blackrom in earth movies 

Karkat: THERE IS SO MUCH BLACKROM BETWEEN MALES, DAVE. WE’VE BEEN THROUGH THIS. AND FEMALES. 
Karkat: BUT NOBODY EVER KISSES. IT’S A FUCKING LETDOWN. 

John: i think…those are just villains and heroes? 

Karkat: RIGHT, BUT WHY DON’T THEY EVER KISS? 

dear evan hansen lyric starter meme -- part one

feel free to change any pronouns, etc.! trigger warnings for death and drug use.

  • ❝ can we try to have an optimistic outlook, huh? ❞
  • ❝ can we buck up just enough to see the world won’t fall apart? ❞
  • ❝ we’re not giving up before we’ve tried. ❞
  • ❝ this year, we make a new start. ❞
  • ❝ i’m proud of you already. ❞
  • ❝ another stellar conversation for the scrapbook. ❞
  • ❝ i’m kinda coming up empty. ❞
  • ❝ can’t find my way to you. ❞
  • ❝ does anybody have a map? ❞
  • ❝ i don’t know if you can tell, but this is me just pretending to know. ❞
  • ❝ the scary truth is, i’m flying blind, and i’m making this up as i go. ❞
  • ❝ another masterful attempt ends with disaster.  ❞
  • ❝ pour another cup of coffee and watch it all crash and burn. ❞
  • ❝ each day’s another wrong turn. ❞
  • ❝ i better head out. ❞
  • ❝ if _______’s not ready, I’m leaving without him/her.  ❞
  • ❝ i’m flying blind. ❞
  • ❝ i’ve learned to slam on the brake before i even turn the key.  ❞
  • ❝ give them no reason to stare. ❞
  • ❝ no slipping up if you slip away. ❞
  • ❝ no, i got nothing to say. ❞
  • ❝ step out of the sun if you keep getting burned. ❞
  • ❝ on the outside, always looking in.  ❞
  • ❝ will i ever be more than i’ve always been? ❞
  • ❝ i try to speak, but nobody can hear.  ❞
  • ❝ we start with stars in our eyes. ❞
  • ❝ we start believing that we belong. ❞
  • ❝ no one tells you where you went wrong. ❞
  • ❝ when you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around, do you ever really crash, or even make a sound? ❞
  • ❝ did i even make a sound? ❞
  • ❝ it’s like i never made a sound. ❞
  • ❝ will i ever make a sound? ❞
  • ❝ all we see is sky for forever. ❞
  • ❝ we let the world pass by for forever. ❞
  • ❝ feels like we could go on for forever this way. ❞
  • ❝ wouldn’t that be cool? ❞
  • ❝ there’s nothing that we can’t discuss. ❞
  • ❝ there’s nowhere else i’d rather be. ❞
  • ❝ we’ve been way too out of touch. ❞
  • ❝ it sucks that we don’t talk that much. ❞
  • ❝ why would you write that? ❞
  • ❝ i’m just trying to tell the truth. ❞
  • ❝ this needs to be perfect. ❞
  • ❝ i’ve gotta tell you, life without you has been hard. ❞
  • ❝ i miss talking about life and other stuff. ❞
  • ❝ very specific. ❞
  • ❝ shut up! ❞
  • ❝ who says that? ❞
  • ❝ each day’s another fight. ❞
  • ❝ if i stop smoking drugs, then everything might be alright. ❞
  • ❝ smoking drugs? ❞
  • ❝ just fix it! ❞
  • ❝ i’ll try to be more nice. ❞
  • ❝ it’s easy to change if you give it your attention.❞
  • ❝ i want to show that i was, like, a good friend, you know? ❞
  • ❝ stop doing drugs. ❞
  • ❝ just try to take deep breaths and go on walks. ❞
  • ❝ you’ll be obsessed with all my forest expertise. ❞
  • ❝ absolutely not. ❞
  • ❝ dude, i’m proud of you. ❞
  • ❝ i’m just glad to be your friend. ❞
  • ❝ our friendship goes beyond your average kind of bond. ❞
  • ❝ the only man that i love is my dad. ❞
  • ❝ you’re getting better every day. ❞
  • ❝ miss you dearly. ❞
  • ❝ why should i play this game of pretend? ❞
  • ❝ i could curl up and hide in my room. ❞
  • ❝ why should i have a heavy heart? ❞
  • ❝ why should i start to break in pieces? ❞
  • ❝ why should i go and fall apart for you? ❞
  • ❝ why should i play the grieving girl and lie, saying that i miss you? ❞
  • ❝ i will sing no requiem tonight. ❞
  • ❝ i’m going to bed. ❞
  • ❝ come sit with me. ❞
  • ❝ you can’t stand to be in this room for five minutes? ❞
  • ❝ at some point you’re going to have to start dealing. ❞
  • ❝ i’ll keep the light on for you. ❞
  • ❝ i gave you the world, you threw it away. ❞
  • ❝ ‘cause when the villains fall, the kingdoms never weep. ❞
  • ❝ no one lights a candle to remember. ❞
  • ❝ no one mourns at all when they lay them down to sleep. ❞
  • ❝ after all you put me through, don’t say it wasn’t true. ❞