absolute the agency

Someday Your Child May Cry

Previously: Question | Preparations | Irrational | Confession | Collateral | Thoughtless | Interrupted




8. Recovering

Following their return from Antarctica, they’re both ordered to take a week’s medical leave. They’re meant to be resting and recovering from their trauma in their own homes, but predictably, Mulder has invaded Scully’s apartment within twenty-four hours, armed with more salvaged files, which he begs her to help him start re-organizing.

She’s sitting propped up in bed, glasses perched on the end of her nose, trying to bring some order to the chaos that has been dropped in front of her, while Mulder is sprawled by her feet like the world’s largest and most ungainly dog, combing through a file of his own. Lost in thought, he scans a list of names in front of him, victims of a long-dead serial killer, repeating their first names silently to himself.  

“Hey, Scully?” he asks suddenly, putting the papers down and sitting up.

“Mmm?” She doesn’t look up from her own file, and for a moment, he hesitates. It’s maybe not the most sensitive of questions, just now, but… well, he’s curious, and he’s never been much good at ignoring his curiosity.

“Have you thought of names yet?” Now she does raise her eyes to his.

“Names?”

“Yeah, names. In case… you know…” He swallows. “In case the next round works.”

“Oh,” she says, dropping her gaze back into her lap. “I… honestly, I haven’t let myself think that far ahead, Mulder.”

“Why not?” She shifts uncomfortably against the headboard, and Mulder begins to regret asking the question, especially now, less than a week after learning that the first round of IVF didn’t take.

“Did you ever read any Steinbeck in high school, Mulder?” He frowns, taken aback at the sudden turn in the conversation.

“Sure, a little,” he says. “What, you want to name the kid after a Steinbeck character? Doesn’t seem like a good omen, Scully. None of them ever got much of a happy ending.” Scully chuckles softly.

“No, that’s not what I mean,” she says. “In one of Steinbeck’s books, The Pearl, the main character is in the process of prying open an oyster that has a pearl so large that its value could mean that he and his family will be wealthy beyond anything they could imagine. His wife, however, looks away as he’s opening the shell, because she believes that wanting something too much drives the luck away.” She blushes slightly and examines her hands, clasped atop the file. “Coming up with a list of names seems kind of like that. Like tempting fate.”

“Dana Katherine Scully,” says Mulder, delighted, “are you telling me that you’re holding off on picking out names because you’re being superstitious?” Her blush deepens, and she looks up at him through her lashes, head still ducked, biting her lip.

“I guess it’s a little ridiculous, isn’t it?” she says, and with a sigh, she sets the file aside. “There are names I like, of course, names I’ve heard through the years and thought, in an abstract way, that I might use them one day.” Mulder puts aside his own file and wriggles further up on the bed. His head’s not quite on the other pillow, but it’s pretty close, and for a moment, he expects Scully to object, but she doesn’t.

“Tell me,” he urges her. “I want to know what names you like.”

“Well… for a boy, I like Caleb,” she says. “And Jonah, Samuel, and David.”

“Big on the biblical names, huh?”

“Not on purpose,” says Scully, defensively. “I just like them, that’s all.” She bites her lip again. “And sometimes I’ve thought… maybe William.”

Mulder’s breath catches. William? As in, his father’s name? His own middle name? But then he remembers.

“Like your father,” he says.

“Well… yes,” Scully says, a slight crease appearing above her eyebrows. For a moment, he thinks she might be holding something back, but then her face smooths out and she continues. “But I feel like Bill would probably assume I was naming the baby after him, and his ego really doesn’t need the boost.” 

“No, you’re probably right about that,” Mulder agrees, laughing. “And how about for a girl?”

“I like Elizabeth,” she says. “And Charlotte, and Claire. I used to really like Emma, but now, I feel like it’s… well, it’s too close to….” Her voice trails off, but Mulder doesn’t need her to finish the sentence. He nods. ”But if it’s a girl,” Scully continues, “her middle name will definitely be Margaret. For my mother.”

“She’d like that, I’m sure,” says Mulder.

“And have you bothered to ask her how she would feel about that?”

The sharp voice from the bedroom doorway makes both Mulder and Scully jump… and when he turns and sees Maggie Scully standing there, her arms crossed and her mouth set in a thin line, he scrambles off the bed so fast he sends files spilling onto the floor.

“Mom!” Scully looks horrified. “I had no idea you were coming by today!”

“I made some soup and I thought I’d bring it over,” Maggie says shortly. “I thought I would probably find Fox here, but I certainly never thought….” She looks pointedly at her daughter. “Dana, is there something that you and Fox would like to tell me?”

“Mom-”

“Are you pregnant?”

Scully’s face falls, her eyes filling with tears, and the only way Mulder keeps himself from rebuking Maggie for her callous question is by reminding himself that she doesn’t know she’s being callous.

“No, Mom, I’m not,” she says, her voice trembling. Mulder wants badly to go to her and put his arms around her, but he senses that this would not be the wisest course of action at the moment. Instead, he begins gathering up the fallen files and stacking them on Scully’s nightstand. Scully hands the papers she’s still holding to him. “Mulder, would you mind letting my mother and I talk? We can get back to this tomorrow, if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Sure, Scully,” he says. He wants badly to kiss her cheek, the way he’s taken to doing whenever they part, this past week, but somehow, it doesn’t seem like a good idea just now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turns to Maggie. “Mrs. Scully, good to see you.”

“You as well, Fox,” she says, but she doesn’t sound as though she means it.

Maybe it makes him a coward, but right at this moment, Mulder feels nothing but relief to be escaping this room. This is not a conversation that he wants to be a part of.

——————————-

“So let me get all of this straight,” Maggie says. She’s sitting in the armchair across from Scully’s bed, her posture rigid, her arms still crossed over her chest. “First, you tell me last Christmas that you cannot have children. Then, days later, you tell me you already have a child, but you don’t know how it happened. Now, you’re telling me that maybe you can have children, because Fox… did you say he stole your ova from someone?”

“I don’t think you can call it stealing if he was just taking back what was mine,” Scully says dully. “But yes, that’s the gist of it.”

“And why did you say nothing about these ova at Christmas, when you told me that you couldn’t conceive?” asks Maggie.

“Because I didn’t know about them then,” says Scully. “The specialist that Mulder had taken them to told had him that they weren’t viable, and he didn’t want to give me more bad news when I was already using all my energy to fight my cancer.”

“But he kept them anyway?” asks Maggie, frowning. “Even though they weren’t viable?”

“Yeah,” says Scully softly, smiling down into her lap. “He did. He paid to have them stored for over a year, until he was ready to tell me about them. He knew I would want a second opinion.” It never fails to touch her, the way Mulder had refused to give up on the hopes he has for her. “He was right- I did.”

“Well, he certainly knows you well,” Maggie concedes. “And he’s agreed to… what, exactly? To father a child for you?”

“He’s agreed to be my donor,” Scully says. “We haven’t… we haven’t really worked anything out beyond that.”

“But he’ll be this baby’s father, Dana,” Maggie says. 

“I don’t really know if he wants that, Mom,” says Scully. “I don’t know how involved he wants to be- if this works. And that’s a big ‘if.’“

 “What if he doesn’t want to be involved? What will you do then?” demands Maggie. “How could you possibly do this without deciding all of these things first, Dana?”

“Because, Mom,” Scully sighs, “I want to do it, one way or another. If he wants his involvement to end with his donation, it’s not going to change my decision. Even if he had said no to donating in the first place, I would have found an anonymous donor and gone ahead with it anyway.”

“But that would mean being a single mother, Dana,” Maggie protests. “Unwed, with a child, and a demanding job. And that’s not even getting into what the Church says about beginning a pregnancy this way.”

“I think I’ve made my feelings on the subject of the Church’s right to dictate what a woman does with her own body perfectly clear in the past,” says Scully coldly.

“Yes, you certainly have,” says Maggie, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Have you thought about any other options? What about adopting?”

“Mom,” sighs Scully, exasperated, “there is absolutely no way any adoption agency is going to consider placing a child with me. I’m a single woman in a high-risk job, a year into remission from what should have been terminal cancer. If I want to be a mother, this is the only option left to me.” She looks at Maggie pleadingly. “Don’t you want this for me, Mom? Wouldn’t you love having a grandchild living this close to you?” Maggie’s face softens.

“Of course I would, Dana,” she says. “And I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t have decided to do this unless you were certain about it… and I have to say, if any of my children could handle being a single parent, it would be you.” She stands up from the armchair and crosses the room, sitting next to Scully on the bed. She puts her arm around Scully’s shoulder, and her daughter doesn’t hesitate to lean against her.

“I want this so badly, Mom,” says Scully, her voice cracking. “And this is the only way it can happen for me.”

“I know, Sweetheart,” says Maggie. She sighs. “And I have to believe, whatever the Church might say, that God would not have given you such a strong desire to be a mother if there wasn’t some way to make your wish a reality.” She strokes her daughter’s hair. “And if you do have a girl… I would be honored if her middle name was Margaret.”

anonymous asked:

Hi, sorry to bother you but I'm just a little confused and out of the loop I guess. What are people doing/saying that fetishizes malec?

i mean a better question would be what aren’t people doing that fetishizes them

it ranges from gross discussions of who is the top or the bottom in their relationship (that’s not how it works), stereotyping one or both of them to make their relationship more “appealing”, projecting on one or both of them for the same reason, writing smut that is very obviously for the pleasure of people who aren’t mlm and not a depiction of our experience, talking over mlm when we discuss their relationship, especially sexually

it’s removing things from their characterizations or actual descriptions to fit whatever turns non mlm on i.e. suddenly magnus has no facial hair or suddenly alec has no chest hair or suddenly one of them has no muscle definition or suddenly their personalities are incredibly polarized so people can shove them neatly into this fetishized idea of a mlm relationship

also: trying to argue what magnus or alec would find sexually appealing about each other if you aren’t mlm, particularly when it comes to things like facial hair and body hair. i see this happen a lot, don’t do it

there’s so much more and it also intersects with how magnus is treated as an asian man but it’s not my place to speak to that so i would direct you to @amorverus‘s posts on magnus’s characterization: like this one or this one

today and yesterday it was this polarized and very weird discussion of alec’s virginity. yes alec being a virgin is a canon fact now but virginity is a social construct and characterizing alec as this shy blushing baby who can’t make up his mind by himself and has absolutely no agency, because that is what is sexually appealing to you is gross. or even if it’s not sexually appealing to you, it’s just a whole lot of projection that is always people who aren’t mlm deciding how alec, a gay man, feels

there aren’t a lot of mlm in this fandom and it’s very telling that every time something like this happens i get a bunch of messages from guys who are mlm being like “i feel uncomfortable” but they feel like they can’t talk about it

i’ve written a bunch of posts on this topic, you can search mlm on my blog

I heard that Silas is an avid bird watcher and just had to draw him with an avian companion. Not sure what species it is, maybe it’s unique to Wendimoor? I’m sure Silas would know. 😉

anonymous asked:

I've been thinking about it for a while and how about a UA hc in which MC and Jaehee adopt Choi's twins

oooh, this is an interesting au! you have cool ideas, hun ^^ hope you like it💛


  • the two of them finally decided on adoption!
  • jaehee and mc had been dating for about 7 years now and had been talking about kids for a while
  • they decided it was time
  • and they were about to go to the adoption center (or..whats it called..)
  • but V came knocking at their door
  • “I heard you guys decided on adoption, congratulations!” he says
  • “Oh, thank you! but we haven’t even gone out yet” jaehee says with a small chuckle
  • “Even better. I, uh…have a question for you.”
  • turns out, V knows these twins that need a new home
  • “Rika and I are trying to figure out how to get them out, but I wanted to know if the both of you were interested in taking care of them..” V asked
  • he explained the whole situation about the Choi twins and what they’re current plans were
  • “I was originally planning to send Saeyoung to work at an undercover agency..” “absolutely not.” mc interrupted.
  • “we’ll help get those kids out of there,” mc said before turning to jaehee. they got a smile from her. 
  • “and we’d be glad to take care of them.”
  • rika and v get saeyoung and saeran away from their mother the same way they do in canon
  • except with additional accusations found by jaehee
  • along with jaehee and mc, who stayed in the car as a precaution
  • at this time, the twins were around 12. and they Did Not trust either of them that much
  • saeyoung would always guard saeran and make a mess sometimes
  • they wouldn’t eat for the first two days 
  • but they eventually came through. saeran broke first, slowly approaching the kitchen while mc was cooking
  • and saeyoung ran after him to protect him, but mc just smiled and gave him a little bite before dinner
  • then they offered a little to saeyoung
  • jaehee came home finding them sitting at the table, actually eating
  • eventually, they find some things they have in common. like favorite books and an interest in numbers 
  • the twins would grow up in a healthy home - undercover, sure - but with two great parents
  • they would both join rfa when they got old enough and whether rika decides to stay or not, they would both stay with their parents
  • actually have the chance to go to college, discover their interests, but would go by different names when they went out 
  • “i wanna be an astronaut, mom!” saeyoung would say. “i want…i want to be a doctor” saeran would say right after. both mc and jaehee just smiled and told them that they could do it 
  • they would be the Kang twins instead of the Choi twins, it’d be harder to distinguish their identity
  • but their favorite moments would be just the four of them, sitting outside and looking up at the sky

anonymous asked:

Why do you hate Tyrion?

Oh, where do I begin :’)  You do not know what you have Unleashed, nonnie (this is all going to be book based, and I’ll probably forget some stuff, BUT THERE’S ENOUGH IN MY HEAD TO FUEL THE FIRES OF MY RAGE) 

Short version: 

He’s arrogant, selfish, self-obsessed, self-pitying, and utterly without conscience or morals, he’s deeply misogynistic, a rapist, a killer, and he refuses to acknowledge his own flaws and shortcomings. 

Long version: 

-Even as early as AGOT he’s doing things that benefit him, and only him, without a single thought/care towards the consequences (because it’s not as though he isn’t intelligent enough to figure them out) eg: arming the mountain clans of the Vale which causes untold destruction and pain for the locals when they return with the weapons and armour he gave them as the price for his own skin. 

-Tyrion’s POVs are incredibly well written and constructed. A reader is inclined to view him as he views himself: an essentially good creature, who tries hard, and is halted and punished by the world for things he can’t help. Which…is not entirely true. 

I think it’s easy to get sucked into Tyrion’s POV, and the way that he thinks and acts. For the first few books, we very rarely get anyone’s opinion on Tyrion/view of Tyrion save Tyrion himself. 

It’s easy to get caught up in his assumptions of prejudice that the world has against him (and it’s easy to understand why he has these, I don’t deny that, but I just can’t get over it) 

If you actually pay attention, Tyrion assumes that everyone treats him badly/dislikes him etc because he’s a dwarf and they’re therefore prejudiced against him. Undoubtedly some of them are, but some of them have seriously good reasons for disliking them. 

See: Sansa Stark, who’s had basically her entire family killed by his, but Tyrion just assumes she doesn’t want him as a husband/won’t confide in him because he’s ugly. Disclaimer: IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU BUDDY. 

Also see: small folk in King’s Landing, who are angry with him for clearing away their homes and livelihoods during preparations for war. Tyrion understands why Tyrion is doing what he’s doing: it’s a practical measure for the sake of the defence of the city but…The people whose homes he’s destroying don’t understand that. But he blames their hatred of him on their prejudice of him being a dwarf. 

This isn’t necessarily a surprising character trait, not given how he grew up (I would never try and argue that Tywin wasn’t abusive towards him…But that doesn’t give Tyrion the right to be abusive in turn) but it does fill him with a certain amount of self-pity, and it limits his ability to actually self-reflect and realise that, shockingly, not everything he does is perfect, and people can dislike him for seriously valid reasons: ie, he’s a little shit. 

-The way he treats women is, frankly, disgusting. 

His disgust at being outsmarted by Catelyn in AGOT comes from the fact that someone outsmarted him, but it’s more than that, it’s because she’s a woman. he even remarks on the fact that her scheme worked in a large part because she is a woman. 

The general language he uses to talk about women is…gross. He views most of them as sexual objects/tools for him/other men to use. His liking of Robert Baratheon because Cersei hated him sticks out in relation to this. Robert, who repeatedly emotionally, verbally, and physically abused his wife, humiliated her publicly, blamed her for his abuse of her, and raped her, makes Cersei reasonably despise him. Tyrion, instead of showing sympathy for his sister, decides he likes Robert, because hey, who cares if he’s raping an essentially defenceless woman, right? He’s pissing her off, too, A++++ bloke. 

He’s surprised, indignant, and irritated that even women are allowed to participate in the votes/discussions of the mountain clansmen, like, how dare. 

People rage against Cersei for her hatred of Tyrion but it’s….Not exactly unfounded. Ignoring her being a child who had just lost her mother, whose father was giving her no support, and was blaming her newborn brother, and the prophecy that made her fear that Tyrion would kill her. 

Tyrion has, in the books that we know of: poisoned Cersei, manipulated her, undermined her, schemed to take her children away from her without her knowledge or consent, threatened her children on more than one occasion, including threatening his eight year old nephew with beatings and rape if Cersei doesn’t do what he wants, would have gone through with whipping said eight year old nephew just to hurt her, fantasised about raping and killing Cersei,  to the point that this is his ‘terms’ for working with Dany when Illyrio makes the offer to him. So…yeah, Tyrion has reason to hate Cersei, but Cersei has just as much, if not more, reason to hate and mistrust Tyrion. 

He’s also raped a slave at Illyrio’s manse, fully aware that she’s a slave, fully aware that she does not want him to have sex with her, fully aware that she cannot say no to him, which is why he does it. And the way he treated the prostitute in, I believe, Volantis, forcing himself on her again, and using the fact that they didn’t have a common language and she didn’t understand him. 

His treatment of prostitutes in general is…gross af. He views them as objects without agency. He treats them like possessions: he’s bought them, he can do whatever he wants with them, they’re his now. And his self-pity over Tysha when he learns the truth about her is also…gross af. Like, this poor girl was gang-raped while he watched, and then raped her last, the man she loved and agreed to marry, and all he can think about is his poor self. Fuck that shit.  

Shae. 

Literally everything about the way that he treats Shae. An eighteen year old, lowborn prostitute, who was forced out of her father’s house because he abused her and raped her as a child, with absolutely no agency, power, or person to speak for her. 

Everything about their travesty of a relationship is an abomination from the get-go. Starting with Tyrion’s commands to her: that he’s not only hiring her for sex, but to essentially act as his partner. She’s to please him in bed whenever he wants, but she’s commanded to also laugh at his jokes, pour him wine, rub the ache out of his sore legs, mourn for him if he dies, etc, etc, etc. Like if you don’t understand that it’s fucked up of him to do that to another human being, regardless of how much gold he’s giving them, I don’t know what to say to you. 

Tywin flat out tells Tyrion not to take Shae to court with him. Tyrion takes her anyway, to spite his father, knowing full well that if they’re found out, he won’t be punished, but Shae will likely be killed for his disobedience. 

He’s incredibly controlling towards Shae throughout her time with him. He essentially locks her up in a manse “for her safety” he deliberately gives her ugly guards, so she won’t be ‘tempted’ by them, and only visits her when he wants to fuck her. He complains that she’s a child when she complains about this, and he’s paying her, why should she complain? Because Shae is not a human being with her own thoughts, feelings, and desires, clearly, she’s just a sex toy for lord Tyrion. He’s bought her, and paid for her, and can do what he likes with her. 

The way he treats Shae is a pretty good representation of how he sees/treats most prostitutes. Like an object. Like a thing that he’s bought and can use as he wishes. Shae is not a human being to him, she’s not a person, she’s a thing that he can fully possess and control because he’s paying her and it’s disgusting. 

Throughout their time together, Tyrion constantly dismisses her feelings/emotions, reminding himself that she’s “only a whore” that she doesn’t love him, and is in this only for his money. (And, reminder: Shae acting like his wife, telling him she loves him, wanting on him, and being only with him, is what he commanded her to do, and paid her to do, at the outset of this little arrangement) Yet he then kills her for being a prostitute and doing her job.

 Tywin hired her and she slept with him as she slept with Tyrion, because he was paying her, and she was only a whore doing her job. But when she wasn’t doing that for Tyrion, then she had to die. Nineteen years old, helpless, abused, used, and murdered by a cold, shallow, selfish little man who, again, wallows in self-pity and thinks only of himself in the face of another’s suffering. 

The entirety of ADWD is just…Tyrion at his worst/typical, without the illusions of being an excellent, poor unfortunate soul. He drinks, he uses whores, he rapes, he cheats, he manipulates, he lies, he kills, and generally does a whole host of Bad Shit with the sole aim of benefiting him, him, and only him. 

He’s an undoubtedly well-written character. He has, in many ways, a very sympathetic arc and narrative, especially with the way it’s written. But he has a huge host of problems and things that are..beyond redemption. And the way fandom moons over him, and fawns over him, and pities him, and forgives him for every little thing he’s ever done wrong because he’s just so hard done to, boils my blood as much as anything else. 

So, yeah, an abridged rant on: why I fucking hate Tyrion Lannister. 

Imprisoned Love Series

Prologue

(Klaus x Liz) (Spy AU)

A/N: This was actually the first fic I ever wanted to write and OMIGOSH! I’m so excited for you to read this I have half the plot figured out and I hope you all like this!

Summary: Klaus Goldstein and Liz Hart are spies for opposite sides. While Liz loves the blood rushing life of stealing. Klaus is trying his hardest to bring all criminals to their knees. But something by fate perhaps pulls the two of them closer than they want to be.

Inspiration: Brittney Spears – Break the Ice is what inspired me to start this amazing little series that I’ve been bouncing around since April.

*The title for this is not final I wanted to call this the forbidden desire’s series but apparently that is already taken and I’m not a fan of copyrighting*


Keep reading

@logelocktte I don’t know. I think that Henry was more than anything insecure about the fact that he got hard from another dude and, like most other things in his life, internalizes that to the point that he’s still angry about it when he’s like 40 years old like it just happened yesterday.

Also you gotta think I mean Henry’s whole journey is him feeling like he has absolutely no agency over any aspect of his life and keeps getting humiliated over and over again by the kids he used to have such power over the stronger their friendship gets, and that push into a deeper and deeper isolation is what makes it so easy for It to get to him. And if you remember, in the book it says that it was after “he allowed Patrick Hockstetter to caress him” that Henry went from just declining in mental stability to basically fucking snapped. I feel like that can be read into multiple ways: either a.) He has some serious repressed homosexual urgings that he refuses to believe were awakened (its not clear if he was actually actively turned on by what Patrick was doing or if it was just a response to sexual stimuli) or b.) felt like he’d been played by ever allowing Patrick or anyone to have any kind of control over him, especially when he was the one who decided to let Patrick hang out with him in the first place and also since Patrick, for the time he was part of their friend group, was mirroring Henry’s behaviors and pretty much served as his yes-man once Belch and Victor started to outgrow his bullshit (plus it was Patrick who suggested they go to the junkyard in the first place, and Patrick being someone who doesn’t do anything without an agenda, doesn’t mind playing a long game, and derives gratification from being in charge, its likely that Henry in hindsight realized that Patrick was trying to get him alone that day or at least slowly take over Henry’s authority with that suggestion and Henry felt like a fool because of it) and was maybe upset too because he was just starting to think he’d had a friend who would honestly stick around without expecting anything from him or, from Henry’s point of view, act like he was too good for whatever Henry wanted to do or c.) a little from column a. and a little from column b.

Henry and Patrick, for what little time they have together, have a really interesting dynamic and are just as similar as they are different, I feel. Henry’s character is all about the dangers of being forced to bottle up one’s feelings and Patrick’s is all about the dangers of not keeping one’s every whim in check. Henry came from a household so horribly abusive that it made him feel powerless and feel the need to express his anger towards that fact by seeking power over those he perceived as weaker than him. Patrick, alternatively, came from a neglectful household that by nature didn’t push him towards seeking out power—it just didn’t stop him when it could have. Henry was glowing more and more with a horrid fire that raged with a slowly increasing ferocity inside of him with each passing day to the point where one couldn’t help but be afraid of him, whereas Patrick was fading away, not so much being forced into obscurity by his family but rather being groomed for the day when he would simply no longer exist to them and that was their mistake, and the mistake of every adult who ignored his behavior no matter how disturbing the implications of it seemed: failing to recognize a danger doesn’t stop it from being dangerous. Stories about two people who are so alike that they could have gotten along if it weren’t for the people that raised them or the society they were brought up in utterly breaks my heart, especially when its kids.

Anyway, my point is, I don’t know about a boy-crush. At least not in the book universe, anyway. In Fukunaga’s original script, Henry seems really shaken about Patrick’s death and is actually the one that reports him missing, not Patrick’s family, and when Butch tells him to relay what happened to the other authorities Henry doesn’t even know where to start and can’t seem to be able to say anything. In the book, who knows? They were twelve, so there were a lot of hormones going on there and King kind of leaves Henry’s actual feelings about that incident ambiguous. Then again, I’ve always thought that Henry and Patrick were written together as direct foils to Eddie and Richie (I can elaborate on that in another post if you want), who I and a lot of other people believe were written as having feelings for one another, so in that context it would make sense for the way they handle it to be in direct contrast to a healthy relationship like Eddie and Richie had, but yeah dude. I dunno.