absolute funniest

For a while I’ve seen this recurring phenomena of mecha artists that say they won’t draw furries on their commission info and furry artists that won’t draw mecha on theirs and it’s the absolute funniest thing to me. It makes it look like there’s this huge schism between the two like some serious shit went down ages ago. 

The absolute funniest scene in Voltron has got to be the one in the first episode where Lance gets Hunk to sneak out with him. Because like. Listen. That boy wouldn’t have pulled that kind of shit back home unless he had a death wish or smth. Which means that Lance legit got to this military base, saw Iverson’s crusty ass, and was immediately like, “not as secure as my house, not as scary as my mamá, time for some teenage rebellion”

the absolute funniest thing in madoka magica to me is that all of the girls have magical weapons that they summon from their soul gems, right? so madoka has her bow, sayaka has a sword, mami has musket rifles, and kyouko has a chain spear thing.

but homura doesn’t have a “weapon” persay, she has a shield, so she just fucking. steals military grade weaponry from the yakuza and cooks her own pipe bombs. you see her obtain these things on camera. this anime magical girl is running around with realistic military weapons and she’s the ONLY character to do so and that’s fucking hysterical to me

my manager has been angry at me because i caught him out in several lies and upper management got involved and cracked down on him. Yesterday I went home sick w a fever and nausea and was vomiting, so he demanded i get a medical cert. No worries, went to the doctor, who told me what i already knew, its gastro, again, which i always get bc i have a bad stomach.

Texted geoff and was like “its gastro, she said i’d be find for tomorrow”

INSTANTLY he texts back and says “after gastro you can only return to work 48 hours after you last loose stool or vomiting episode. When was this?”

WHEN DID YOU LAST SHIT YOURSELF RONNIE? TELL ME, RIGHT NOW

So um, I went on the Voltron website and

So they have character descriptions for p much everyone. Including Shiro

But reading the last bit of his passage

is now

THE ABSOLUTE-

FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ

kin drama is the absolute funniest thing to ever exist…. like when did we as a society go from embarrassing teenagers yelling at each other for stealing art over the internet

to embarrassing teenagers listing 30 characters as literally them and telling all their friends to unfollow people who like the same characters and having breakdowns over this shit

like. take a step back. take a step back. i know people use it for coping but take a step back and realize that neither you nor the greasy 14 year old on the other side of the monitor is literally sans undertale, holy shit, you just like the character how has this become an excuse to fight over the most MEANINGLESS thing possible

ive been on tumblr since 2011 so im just gonna list random memories

- swag asians
- galaxy everything
- “our creator, daddy david karp”
- jamjars
- wwiao
- justgirlythings
- kushandwizdom
- best-absolute-funniest-posts
- dionthesocialist
- blackinasia
- holdmydiiiiiiiiiiick
- irenigg
- “DONT POST ANYTHING HERE ON FACEBOOK”
- “peasants”
- mischapolcalypse or however you spell it
- glee gifs. nothing but glee gifs
- the rise of communismkills
- frick frack
- that awful “hilter was a person too” post

My opinion on the signs, ranked from who I get along with the best to not at all

1. Taurus - Simply the best, hands down. Head and shoulders above everyone else. Determination, extreme focus and goal attainment are all part of this sign’s personality. Once a Taurus sets his/her mind to doing something, there is nothing in the universe that can stop them. They will pursue their identified goal until it is reached – even if this comes at great personal sacrifice (health, relationships, etc). They’re determined, stable, they prefer simplicity, and they’re goal driven They have a thing for beauty. Creative and talented. They don’t complain and they’re not precious or delicate. The women generally are good with finances, independent, intelligent, and have an undeniable but reserved earthy femininity and sensuality. Definitely much more a fan of the males than the females, though. The men are my kryptonite. My thirst is real for Taurus men. The men are very protective of me and strong. Generally don’t like to start or have arguments. Equanimous. Sexy as hell. Tough, hard-hearted, extremely helpful, forgiving. Don’t take them for granted. Don’t fuck with them. EVER. Protect at all costs. Logical. Stable. Steady as a rock…there’s just something about them that makes me feel safe and secure. No bullshit with them. Taurus guys are earthy, lusty, manly, sensual, affectionate, and ooze sexuality. They’re also charming, magnetic, independent, genuine, great listeners, sexy, charismatic. Taurus men tend to be gentle and tolerant of others, with a strong sense of honour and integrity. They’re honest, communicative (but not annoyingly so), expressive both verbally and physically. The men are emotionally and mentally stable and smart. They’re possessive but not jealous. They are also rather dominant but mostly in the bedroom. Taurus men are the epitome of what I find truly sexy in a man. They’re practical and have an above average level of common sense. They’re about action, not words, and I love that about them. You could throw anything at them and they’ll handle it with strength, intellect, and class. They’re kind-hearted, generous to those they care about, and extremely focused. They love deeply and completely and are highly successful in business and financial ventures. My best friend, a couple of my very very close friends as well as my father happen to be Taureans. They really make me feel special, so seriously thanks to all the Taurus men for being who they are. Lovely, lovely guys. My favourite earth sign.

2. Aquarius - Cool, detached, aloof, and cerebral, just like me. The geniuses of the zodiac, by far. Visionaries. Impartial and original. Objective. Independent and individualistic. At peace with themselves. Weird. Frequently labeled “cold”, although I love it. Their adaptability and humanitarianism is admirable. They take all sorts of people as they are and I love this about them. Curious. Charismatic. God-complex. Unconventional. Loyal people. Open-minded. Rational. Not precious or delicate. Leaders. Some of the kindest people I know. Its not a smothering kind that freaks one out,its a pure, no silly intention type of kindness that is so soft, but still leaves a mark. And to me, they’re easy to understand - they care, but they also want their own separate lives. It’s lovely. There’s an Aqua girl I used to work with; she’s a really smart girl and everything that comes out of her mouth is interesting and hilarious. Although I liked her, it was usually from a distance because I could never tell if she really liked me as a potential friend. Yet there were times when I was the indirect target (by a Leo) in our meetings, and the Aqua always came by and subtly let me know in various ways that she cared. It was weird, but it was like she never wanted me to feel alone or bad, and I always appreciated that. It’s like we can’t say more than a few words to one another without quickly going back into our “own” space, and I’m thinking that’s maybe because we possibly felt our individuality would be threatened in some way if we got too close, and also maybe we retreated because we both were/are sensitive to the other, but we supported each other on a deeper and more emotional level. It’s hard to explain, but yeah, that’s been my experience. My older brother, whom I love more than anything, is one. More than a few of my favourite associates are Aquarians. What’s not to like? Hands down my favourite air sign.

3. Capricorn - They’re the hardest workers, they have high standards, and they’re pretty engaging; extremely intelligent and have an interesting way of drawing you in. Regal. Never loses their cool unless there’s a valid reason. Witty. I’m totally in love with their ambition. Have been labelled as “mean” or “loners”, but I have a general respect for them, even if I don’t like some of them. Quiet leaders. Untrusting like me. Also equanimous. Patient and calm. They’re bosses. Thinks in advance. Not to be fucked with. Doesn’t let get things get under their skin, very classy and tough like that. Sensible. Pragmatic and practical, but also can be a bit fanciful. The females are very feminine and have great taste in clothing. The men are in control and more often than not, CEOs. The men also make me feel so protected. Two very good friends are Caps. The Cap girls I know are really selective over their friends; they won’t talk to everyone for the sake of it…if they don’t like you or find you interesting then they probably won’t say a word to you or look at you. But they’re all funny, classy, and grounded and I love that. They possess winner’s minds; look at the late David Bowie: classic example of why Capricorns are the shit.

4. Sagittarius - You’re assholes, but you’re my kind of assholes; you’re blunt, you don’t sugar-coat the truth and you people are just brilliant. Absolutely hilarious. Funniest sign in the zodiac. Love having fun with them because their confidence is infectious and inspiring. Not gonna kiss your ass. Brutal. Insensitive. Sometimes downright inhumane. Sociable. Go-getters. They’re about their freedom and their power. It’s onward and upward with these folks and I respect that. Tends not to hold grudges (something I need to work on). They use their asshole-ism for good and for things that make sense (instead of evil and general bullshit like Scorpios do). Will speak their mind even (and especially) if it hurts your feelings. I love it. A couple of very good acquaintances are Sags. The only fire sign that I can stand.

5. Libra - Also protect at all costs. Love, love, love. Complete cinnamon rolls and are diplomatic, charming and fair. Tendency to be lookers. Great friends. Terrible flirts. Intellectual savages. Great personalities. Fun. Love getting guys with these ladies. When we choose to go out, we shut it down in a club and all eyes are on us. Also love how peaceful and easygoing they can be. Warrior’s mentality with a poet’s soul. They tend to be a doormat at times, tend to enjoy being volatile shit-starters on occasion (especially the females), and tend to be liars as well. Usually have good intentions. Indecisive, just like Pisces, but unlike Pisces, their indecisiveness is in a charming, yet slightly maddening way. More often than not, a pleasure to deal with. Another close friend and a few dear acquaintances are Libras. My kind of folks.

6. Gemini - Paraphrasing from Joni Mitchell’s song “Help Me”: “[They] love their lovin’/ But not like they love their freedom”…engaging and usually intelligent conversationalists. An ex-roommate is one. Charming, if not a bit fake, flighty, and two-faced. On the other hand, Stevie Nicks. Marilyn. Fetty Wap. I like that they keep things light and hate dealing with too much emotion, although their “lightness” tends to border on the superficial and shallow. Adventurous. Craves variety. Batshit crazy. Liars. Fucked up when drunk. The children of the zodiac, by far. I mean, bipolar creatures; their mood swings make them excellent case studies. Totally schizophrenic, they specialize in mind games and are the best players, hands down. Flaky. Thirsty as hell. Desperate for attention. These people have issues. Sociable and tend to be very popular for whatever reason. No slouches for sure, they’re definitely entertaining if nothing else.

7. Leo - They remind me of the famous line that Jareth said to Sarah in Labyrinth: “I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.” LOL. Overrated. Unconscionably selfish. Some of them are cool, but for the most part, I’m not impressed. A cousin that I used to be close with is one, we don’t really talk as much anymore, since I’ve outgrown her due, in part, to her tendency to be a bit jejune and silly as well as a drama queen. On the other hand, J. Lo. Jackie O. Kate Bush. They’re sexy, stylish and entertaining, but they’re just short-term/one-night stand material to me; they’re quite pretentious, have delusions of grandeur, and a bit sensitive for me (can’t take criticism, too dramatic, etc.) and as such, there’s nothing of real substance there with them. Tend to be liars. Animated and melodramatic (there’s a reason why most of the best actors are Leos)…they’re overgrown babies in the sense that they have a pathological need to have their asses kissed, they’re bossy, temperamental, and have a tendency to be arrogant and disrespectful (but don’t be this way to them, though, lmaooo). Very childish. Have a tendency to be something they’re not and truly believe that they’re more than what they actually are or ever will be, which is slightly amusing.

8. Scorpio - Ah, the sociopaths of the zodiac. I guess this would be my favourite water sign, if that’s possible. Not a fan of water signs in general, tbh…but out of all of them, you people are the only ones I can somewhat stand, for some strange reason. Probably because my mum is one, with whom I have a love-hate relationship (the only complicated relationship that I’m willing to have ever), as well as an ex-boyfriend. I’m a lot like them in the sense that there’s no room for ambiguity, either people hate you or they love you; regardless, you are who you are and that’s the way it is. As well as the fact that everything’s a state secret with them. However, if one wants brutal honesty, then like the good old Sags, these people are good for that, if nothing else. Opportunistic. Impossibly sexy. Bad to the bone. I’m a sucker for these men; most of the men I’ve “known”, whether we were in a relationship or not (including my current one) are Scorpios. Where we part ways: they (mainly the females, who are just unnecessary cunts, for the most part) are jealous, obsessive, love to be as negative as possible, have a crab-in-the-barrel mentality, and tend to be miserable and like making everyone else miserable as well. Tends to like having their asses kissed. Like all water signs, to me, life’s too short to really deal with them.

9. Cancer - Again, not a fan of water signs and Cancers are some of the reason why. A bit too moody, sensitive, temperamental, and clingy for my taste. Passive-aggressive. Possessive and needy. The females seem to be quite jealous of other females for some odd reason. The men tend to be kinda wishy-washy childish mama’s boys. Protective of those they love and care about, which is nice. Homebodies. Home. Like all water signs, they tend to think they’re billy badasses more than they are and their insecurity drives them to bully folks just to feel good about themselves, which is quite pathetic. These guys are crazy, but they have great music taste, good with money, and are kind of manipulative…the ones born in July tend to be temperamental as fuck. I’ve not gotten along with one ever (which is curious, since I am one), my associate’s boyfriend is one, and he’s a bitch; I have an older half-sister who’s one. To put it succinctly, we no longer speak. But, on the other hand, you guys tend to fly under the radar a bit, so I guess a scant few of them all are actually alright.

10. Virgo - Don’t really get the big deal about these people. I respect their propensity to be analytical, attention to detail and hard working natures, but other than that, you guys are completely irritating; a couple of colleagues are Virgos. They tend to be more sensitive than they like to let on (hence their moodiness), when jealous or self-conscious, they tend to act childish by getting angry and saying things they don’t mean. High maintenance. Self-serving. Also quite opportunistic. Martyr complex. Loves intellectual hair-splitting. Too much insecurity and bullshitting around with you all. Prides themselves on being harshly critical of everything and everyone, but if you tell them about their bullshit then they want to play victim and can’t handle it. People who can’t take their own medicine I don’t respect. Fussy and persnickety as hell; nitpicks everything and are often impossible to please and cowardly. They think the world should stop for them. Liars. Sneaky and shady as fuck. Doesn’t breathe unless it’s planned out thoroughly in advance. Tries too hard to be perfect and omnipotent. I’m sure OCD runs rampant in this sign as well. Control freaks, just like Scorpio. They will self-obsess over their imperfections (and are very quick to point out others’) and think they’re right all the time. Especially applies to those born in September.

11. Pisces -  Again, I truly don’t get the big deal about these people either. At all. Emotionally exhausting. Victim complex. Very artistic and musical, however. Creative. An ex-roommate and former friend are this sign. The main reason why water signs repel me. Evil as hell because they’re disasters who always project their own insecurities onto everyone. Like all water signs, they start drama and then expect you to feel sorry for them. Manipulative. They never take responsibility for their actions, and hide behind gullible people. Spineless. Feels the need to test people (like Scorpios and Aries) and be quarrelsome, then loves to turn around and play the victim (which they do exceptionally well), which is completely pathetic. Indecisive. Indirect. Adores getting offended, just like Virgos. Very passive-aggressive. Easily led. Disingenuous. Emotions/moodiness > logic. They live in a dream world, thinking everything revolves around them. They just annoy the crap out of me. Too co-dependent and (possibly due to low self-esteem) likes to suck the strength from others to validate themselves because they have none of their own. Tend to be harsh in order to overcompensate for how hypersensitive they actually are, which is exasperating. Tends to overreact and are way too emotional, reactive, and sensitive for me to deal with. February Pisceans = barely tolerable (I love you Rihanna); March Pisceans= pieces of shit.

12. Aries - Stay in your lane perhaps? Get some therapy maybe? These people see everything as a fight or an issue, and they need to chill. A boss and a couple of co-workers are this sign. Lack of foresight. Also reactive, loves confrontations just for the sake of having confrontations. Lives for being combative. Very ram-like. Fighters. Malcontents just like Scorpios and Virgos. One of the most ignorant signs.They tend to be outgoing and extroverted generally. I associate them with the colour orange or fluorescent yellow or some other grating colour. Very fast. Very bold. Courageous. Ultra-competitive. Energetic. Dynamic. Loud. Not one to mess with. Always has the need to be right. Downright rude and childish. When volatility, rage and anger is your default emotion (Leo, ARIES, SCORPIO), I dismiss it and completely have no respect for it, since that’s the way you are, so what’s to take personally, really; I have extreme distaste for grown-ass people that insist on acting their shoe size. Quit being so fucking aggressive and pushy all the time. It’s obnoxious.

re-reading the X-Wing books, my main takeaway from Solo Command is that someone really needs to make Wedge/Han like… a thing.

After all, you get such gems as the following:

“Well, you’re not the only member of the crew who could benefit from some blissful irresponsibility right now. So I’m going to stage an insurrection and seize control of Mon Remonda.”

Solo gave a curt laugh. “Wedge Antilles, mutineer. That I have to see.”

which follows a long, emotionally charged conversation of Han admitting his insecurities about his and Leia’s relationship,

Rogue One was among the pilots returning. Solo breathed a sigh of relief. He had few enough friends. Win or lose, he didn’t want to lose any more in this engagement.

… Han I can’t believe you care this much? and then there’s this whole scene:

Han Solo and Wedge Antilles sat in the cockpit of the Millennium Falsehood, their feet up on the control boards.

“Stand by, Communications.” Solo shut off the cockpit microphone and gave Wedge an accusing look. “You said, when you overflew her X-wing, that you saw no sign she ejected.”

“That’s right.” Wedge stretched lazily. “There was no automated comm signal indicating an ejection.”

“Commander Square Corners himself, showing a streak of duplicity. Lying by omission. I can’t believe it.”

As they walked down the Falsehood’s loading ramp, Solo threw an arm over Wedge’s shoulders. “Corellian to Corellian, you know what the great thing about being a general is?”

“No, what?”

“In lots of circumstances, you can pretty much do whatever you want.” With his free hand, Solo reached over and gave Wedge’s hair a thorough mussing.

Wedge batted his hand away. “Hey, stop it.”

and who can forget the scene in Wedge’s Gamble, in which Wedge attempts to counsel Leia about her relationship with Han:

“That’s his nature, though–he’s chaos incarnate.” Wedge smiled. “Han Solo, you have to love him…”

“… or freeze him in carbonite, I know.” Leia stared wistfully off into the distance. “He’s a good man. Even with his quirks and rough edges, I don’t think I can find better in this galaxy. And I’m not really interesting in looking, either, but there are times when I wonder ‘Why him?’”

“If you ever have doubts, serious doubts, come see me. I can give you a dozen reasons to answer that question.”

in which I know what Wedge means, where he could give Leia a dozen reasons why Han is the right guy for her, but honestly it kind of sounds like Wedge has a dozen reasons why one would be in love with Han Solo, at least six of which apply to him personally.

Movie Night Headcanons with Team Prime

Optimus:  He’s… not really a fan of movie nights at first.  “Hey, Optimus?  Wanna watch a movie with us?”  “No.” You refuse to give up however. You make it your personal goal to find the perfect movie for the stoic leader of the Autobots.  You catch him on a good day after a particularly satisfying win against the cons and convince him to reward himself with some much needed r&r.  You decide to show him the best Earth cinema has to offer: Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia, the works.  It becomes a Hollywood classics marathon.  Optimus finds himself enjoying the movies more than he thought, and uses this as an opportunity to study human culture.  He takes a particular interest in the old Charlton Heston version of The Ten Commandments as Moses’ struggle with Ramses is something he relates to 1000%. Little do you know however, that you have now have created a monster.  Whenever no one else is around, Optimus will pop in the absolute corniest and/or funniest movies he can find and use them to build his repertoire of Earth dad humor.  One day, he walks by you and Raf playing with Raf’s toy racecars and without missing a beat says, “What is this?  A convertible for ants?”  He smiles and walks away leaving you and Raf both utterly speechless.  Optimus, why are you like this???

Ratchet:  He’s actually a pretty fun guy when he’s not stressed 24/7.  He enjoys classic comedies from the 80’s like Ferris Bueller’s Day off, Caddyshack, and pretty much anything by Mel Brooks.  (He won’t admit it, but he secretly enjoys the raunchier comedies too, not that he’d ever let you watch them with him.)  He also loves movies about astronauts, but always forgets how much our limited knowledge of interplanetary travel annoys him. “There is NO WAY that a human would be able to survive a tear in his protective suit, let alone use it as a source of adequate propulsion to reach an orbiting space station!”  “Ratchet, just watch the movie!”  Another one of his favorite genres are movies that have a real emotional connection.  One of his favorite movies of all time is Good Will Hunting.  He finds Robin Williams’ portrayal of the snarky yet caring psychiatrist to be immensely relatable.  

Bumblebee:  It’s no secret that this bot loves his cowboys!  The two of you get together and have a total western classics marathon with movies like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, True Grit, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.  He gets super into it, pointing his guns at the screen during a fight, and buzzing happily throughout the film.  He also loves helping you make popcorn for the movie because he loves the sound it makes. You usually end up with about a bathtub’s worth of popcorn by the end of it.  You two also love to build pillow forts and pretend to stage shoot-outs in them during the film.  After the movie ends, the two of you run around the base playing cowboys together, which usually involves a lot of shouting, laughter, and throwing cushions at each other.  Ratchet hates cowboy movie nights.

Arcee:  She tends to favor historical dramas, especially those based on true stories or featuring female leads.  Movies like Atonement, The King’s Speech, and The Imitation Game are all right up her alley. You have to be careful what you watch with her though, as some of those war movies hit her a little too close to home, especially if one of the main characters dies.  (She had to walk out of the room at one point during Saving Private Ryan.)  Surprisingly, as tough a bot as she is, she doesn’t mind the occasional romance movie. Mind you, they have to be good, not some frivolous romantic comedy made for a quick buck.  But stuff like Pride and Prejudice, Ever After, and The Age of Innocence are movies that Arcee enjoys from time to time.

Bulkhead:  He likes movies featuring ‘the everyman”.  Something like Armageddon where the hero of the movie is an oil rig worker, or movies featuring a strong group camaraderie like he had in The Wreckers. It’s no surprise to anyone that he likes big, explosive action movies.  (They don’t even necessarily have to be that good either.)  Movie nights with Bulkhead are a ton of fun!  You, Bulkhead, and Miko all cheer at the screen, or shout things at the characters, and pretty much just talk the entire time.  In fact, a lot of times one of you has to rewind part of it because you were all talking and missed a crucial scene.  He gets Wheeljack to build some supersonic subwoofers to make those awesome explosion noises even awesomer!  Ratchet hates action movie nights even more than cowboy nights.  

Wheeljack:  He’s a huge fan of action movies too, but he’s a bit pickier about what he watches than Bulkhead.  He loves the original Die Hard, but his preference tends to lean more towards classic spy movies, or something with sword fighting (he likes to critique the choreography.)  He likes those mad sciencey type movies as well, but more often than not finds himself disappointed at the lack of realism.  “That’s not how teleportation works.”  “I… don’t think most people know that’s a legit thing, Wheeljack.”  Movie nights with Wheeljack can include anything from the Sean Connery Bond films, to The Fly, to Kill Bill, to Fight Club.  He loves all of those classic movie quotes. The two of you practically have your own secret code’s worth of quotable lines.  He’ll walk up to you at random intervals and say something like, “What’s the first rule of Fight Club, kid?”  “Don’t talk about Fight Club.”  (finger guns.)

Smokescreen:  He’s so excited for movie night!!!  He really doesn’t even care what the movie is, so long as you two get to hang out together and have a ton of fun.  He’s happy to let you pick the movies for the evening, so you show him a number of your favorites.  He tends to talk a lot and ask a lot of questions, so be prepared for that.  “Oh, man!  I can’t believe they just did that!” “ Wait, so he was dead the whole time?!” “So does this mean that the princess and that blond guy are brother and sister?”  He ends up getting really into Star Wars, and tries to get Wheeljack to construct him a working lightsaber.  Back to the Future is another one of his favorites.  He likes to quote lines from it whenever you two ride together.  “Smokescreen, you’re going to run us off the road!”  “Where we’re going we don’t need roads!”  (Smokescreen, pls.)

Ultra Magnus:  You’re almost kind of scared to ask him to join you for movie nights, tbh.  It’s only after one night when he walks by you watching a film with one of the other bots that he questions you about it. Despite his usual no-nonsense outlook, he’s… just a bit offended that you didn’t invite him to one of your “camaraderie building exercises” as he calls them.  You make it up to him by picking out a collection of movies specially selected for him.  You go with a good selection of classics, hoping that he’ll be impressed.   You start out with The Godfather, and then move on to The Bridge on the Rive Kwai, and To Kill a Mockingbird.  He compliments you on your movie selection, and agrees that he finds the movies very much to his taste.  You apologize for not including him earlier, and make a special effort to invite him for a private movie night session at least once a week.