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Humans are weird- aesthetics.

I’m not just talking clothes, what about plate design?

“Human Steve, why are you arranging that Basil leaf at a precise 90 degree angle? Does it affect the taste of the dish?” He was already aware the sense of taste was very important to humans.

“Nah, just looks nicer. I’ve been watching too much food network.”

What about flowers? Some people hate the look of some plants. What about when they go to a new planet, they see these flowers that look a lot like roses, and start fawning over them. The aliens already know that humans use flowers as symbols of good will, so maybe one of them gives them some flowers, but no. Because those are weeds, or just flowers that look really horrible together. And aliens never knew how opinionated humans are.

Or tastes just not going together well, you like white wine, and you like steak right? But god forbid you pair them together, especially in front of rich people. Aliens would be so confused.

Earth may be space Australia, but humans are those pre-madonna celebrities that have to have exactly 15 RED M&MS NEXT TO A SPRING WATER BOTTLE COOLED TO PRECISELY 5 DEGREES CELSIUS.

Tagging anyone I think would be interested. @space-australia-stories @what-are-even-humans @humans-are-space-orcs @human-aliens-collection @earthisspaceaustralia

Hello. It is I, the Unmasker. I have very important news about the potential DnD classes of famous chefs and Food Network stars.

  • Paula Deen - Human Paladin
  • Bobby Flay - Goblin Knight
  • Guy Fieri - Lizardfolk Bard
  • Alton Brown - Tiefling Wizard
  • Gordon Ramsay - Orc Berserker (also a therianthrope, probably)
  • Mary Berry - Vampire Necromancer
  • Sandra Lee - Half-Elf Rogue
  • Ina Garten - Dwarf Ranger

Feel free to add more.

secondrunningsdotme  asked:

Been seeing your Instagram posts of food, and saw your reboot goal of eating healthy. Curious if you have a list of good cookbooks that helped you and Anne get into the rhythm of cooking healthy and eating at home more? Or on the flip-side, cookbooks that you found unhelpful?

The Whole Foods Market cookbook is great.

There’s a FANTASTIC book called Cooking with All Things Trader Joe’s. If there’s a Trader Joe’s around you, I’d recommend that.

I also have learned a lot about portions, macronutrients, and the difference between good carbs and fat, and bad carbs and fat. My son’s a nutritionist and trainer, so he helped us a lot. I recommend talking to someone who is trained and certified (If you want to spend money, my son will consult with you) to learn about that, too.

We make Blue Apron meals about three times a week, and they are generally healthy. They’ve also taught us techniques and given us ideas that we wouldn’t have had on our own.

But you can honestly get online, search a site like Epicurious, Yummly, or Food Network (or just about anything from Alton Brown), and find inspirations and recipes to make the things you want to make. If you’re really into sauces and butter and salt and stuff, it’s going to be a tough adjustment for you, but after 30 days, the worst of the cravings passes (or did for me, at least.)

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  • every chopped contestant in the desert round: my plan is to make an ice cream that I'll over churn into butter, a crepe that'll come apart in the pan, a panna cotta that won't set up, and a cake that won't bake through. And if all that doesn't work, my plan B is this caramel sauce, which I'll definitely forget about and burn to shit.