about lovee

He saw it in her eyes.
Behind the laugh,
The smile, the
“Everything’s okay”
They say the eyes are the window to the soul,
And on her perfectly made up and faked face,
The eyes gave her away.
He could see her brokenness, the long nights spent crying until she fell asleep.
How sad and tired she actually was.
He knew everyone was fooled by her act, pretending to be happy all the time.
And he knew he couldn’t fix her, but he could try
—  A.P
4

So I’ve had this blog for just under two months and just hit my first thousand and I’m ??? like thank you so much to everyone who follows me. I love you all. So for 1k I figured I’d do a follow forever to celebrate all the people who’s blogs I love and yeah. I’m sorry I’m shit at thanking people idk how to do this I don’t deserve any of this and everyone who follows me is too kind.

Special thanks to everyone who’s taken the time to talk to me, either in messages or by dropping asks in my inbox. You guys make me smile and I’m so grateful for all the ways I’ve interacted with the various members of this fandom. 

Also to all my mutuals who have given me mini freak outs when they followed me because I am not worthy.

(Nobody’s bolded because I love everyone and felt bad.)

And, uh, here we go?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can u plz give me some nesta/rhys brotp headcanons?? like them teaming up on the inner circle during cards and winning every single time? or cassian and feyre giving each other confused looks every time they laugh about their inside jokes? or how the cassian/feyre brotp and the rhys/nesta brotp are always super competitive? like pictionary and charades?? or how rhys and nesta are super cultured and love to talk about their favorite plays/musicals they see? PLZ I NEED MORE OF THIS BROTP

YES FRIEND. WE ALL NEED MORE OF THIS BROTP I ADORE IT. I think there’s this idea that Nesta hates Rhys and I’m like…my dudes. ACOMAF happened. There was character development. It was beautiful. Please take note of it and the ‘that was why you painted stars on your drawer’ moment. 

Also I just feel like Nesta and Rhys are….Actually quite similar?? I think there’s a kind of…cool pragmatism in both of them (see: ‘I’m going to starve myself and my sisters to see if my father will actually get off his ass and do something’ and Rhys’s…entire UtM persona) And they’re both quite…regal for want of a better word, they both have powerful mental capacities (Rhys’ daemati magic and Nesta’s ability to resist glamours) they’re both quite cerebral in general too. For all that we get talk of Rhys’ power most of his planning revolves around schemes, cunning, manipulation, stealth that sort of thing, it’s never about brute force, Nesta thinks similarly. It’s calculated and careful and listen what I am driving at here is Nesta and Rhys sitting up late sharing some spiced wine and talking battle tactics/war strategies I’M DOWN FOR THIS.  

right, okay, headcanons now that piece of…unnecessary mini meta is over: 

Yes to them teaming up against the others at cards. Like there’s that part of ACOMAF where Rhys gets all huffy because Cassian and Azriel tag-teamed him when they were playing cards? So he invites Nesta to the next game and they…wipe the board with them and Cass and Az are like….okay so we’re screwed and Nesta is very smirky and pleased with herself. 

DEFINITELY YES TO THE INSIDE JOKES THAT BAFFLE FEYRE AND CASS THIS IS ADORABLE. and it is 100% guaranteed to be some completely nerdy joke about history that even Amren doesn’t get (and she was there) But I will get to the history nerds thing in a minute. 

Nesta and Rhys teaming up against Cass and Feyre would be…Amazing. And like, Nesta and Rhys are ruthlessly competitive and Feyre and Cass are too but while Feyre is ruthlessly competitive Cassian is just like…determined competitive. And basically the big golden hearted bat gets surrounded by all of these vicious bastards who just want to win and will do anything to achieve that and he’s like !?!?! no pls calm down let’s enjoy the snacks I brought okay? He and Feyre do work very,very well together and hot damn is that girl determined and scrappy but most of the time they’re no match for Nesta and Rhys who will just….destroy you then elegantly sip wine over the dust that was once your corpse. 

CHeSs GAmES Rhys being a broody and dramatic bat with the weight of the world on his shoulders and Nesta knows it. Mor and Cass have both tried teasing him and coaxing him into letting go with them and Az has tried quietly talking to him and Feyre has tried too but she knows to just leave him be for a little while but Nesta…is having none of that broody bullshit. She settles herself down opposite him and whips out a chess board and like….Rhys cannot resist it. He just can’t. Nesta makes one move and it’s like he manages to hold out for a whole two minutes before he snaps and swivels round in his chair to face her properly and within ten minutes he’s completely and utterly engrossed and Nesta is just smirking and looking very pleased with herself. 

YES TO THEM BEING CULTURED TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!! And their partners will go the plays/shows with them but they just don’t ~understand~ (I think Cass is typically…..baffled and Feyre appreciates like musical performances but she’s not as big on theatre or plays or the ballet shows Nesta loves and she doesn’t understand the technical aspects as much?) So they start going together instead and then they go to dinner together afterwards and they talk about it for ages and I think….If you get Nesta talking about something that she loves and is invested in and knows a lot about she. will. not. shut. up. She gets all animated and almost…gushes sometimes and Rhys can be similar in that he just intensely talks about this thing and nothing else and basically on these dinners neither of them really notice what they’re eating and they get home after like six hours and Cass and Feyre are ??? and they’re like ‘what I was only away for like an hour what is wrong?’ 

On the subject of intense talks Feyre definitely ambles into the kitchen at like…two o’clock in the morning because she couldn’t sleep and needed some tea…and to discover the mysterious disappearance of her heat source- uh, mate. As she gets nearer she hears the sounds of soft but very intense and irritated arguing and she recognises Rhys’ voice and Nesta’s and she just sighs because she really thought they were getting on better. Then she actually arrives in the kitchen and realises the two of them are sitting there furiously arguing over the most recent book they’ve read (Nesta and Rhys are part of a book group. It contains two people: Nesta and Rhys. They’re very happy with this arrangement) and Feyre just…smiles a little because at least they’re getting on…and have found someone to channel all of this into. 

HISTORY NERDS. (Amren joins in on this sometimes too but other times she just can’t be bothered at which point she palms Rhys off on Nesta) Listen Nesta would be a total history dork okay, she loooves researching it and I feel like one day she’s just sort of @ Rhys ‘you, you’re old, come here, I have questions.’ Rhys is baffled initially but then completely and utterly delighted when he realises that she wants to talk about history. (I can totally see Nesta writing an account of the war once it’s over btw. And maybe she interviews Rhys and the others about the first war too because I don’t care if you’re immortal you need to write these things down.

SCHEMERS IN CHIEF. I just need someone…to use that beautiful brain inside Nesta’s beautiful head okay. Like. The girl is a low-key genius EXPLOIT THIS PLEASE. She and Cass totally plan battle strategy but she and Rhys just do general strategy, war strategy, how to get the other high lords to co-operate, the terms of treaties, exploiting loopholes and closing loopholes and politics. (I don’t think either of them have any patience for more sort of ‘social politics’ and making nice and all that - that’s Elain’s area of expertise) but cunning manipulative courts relations every day politics they’re both like yep we’ve got this. Rhys listening to Nesta and Nesta being a little alarmed because no man has ever taken into account what she thought or had to say before - especially not on these kinds of subjects. But she shares what she has to say and Rhys listens and this is….a novelty. Because someone has found value in her, in her ideas, in her attention to details, in the way her mind works, in all the things that were suppressed in the mortal realm because no, no, ladies don’t need to worry about this sort of thing or were belittled as idle hobbies now they’re important. Now they’re instrumental in the war. Now she is instrumental in the war. And not because she’s made fae and forced herself into the clothes of a warrior but because she’s her. And Rhys can use that. Also, like, if these two start plotting against you you should just…like just move okay? Just leave the country and go somewhere far faaar away it’s…so much easier. 

Also, like, I know we all want Nesta queen of the female Illyrians and standing up to all the camp lords and training them to fight and all that but…consider: Cassian and Mor, now with Feyre in tow, get sorted on teaching the Illyrian females how to fight and training them and all that jazz. But one day Nesta goes to Rhys like ‘okay, but what about just teaching them? What about their education?’ Because not every girl is a warrior and even the ones that are deserve to be properly educated and that is what Nesta is here for. And just…Cass in charge of the girls’ training and then Nesta in charge of their education makes…a beautiful little pair. 

Rhys helping Nesta to control whatever magic she has because he knows what it feels like, having a power you were never equipped to have boiling away inside you, feeling like it might tear you apart, might drive you mad…He helps her channel and hone her magic, helps her to control it instead of the other way around. He helps her to control her emotions as well (though Cass does most of that, Rhys helps) 

Nesta and Rhys (grudgingly) at formal events and parties together and they spend…..the entire time sipping wine and salting those they have issues with/don’t like (ie….everyone) and looking fabulous while they do it. (they bond so much over salt and mutual dislike of people it’s amazing) 

Rhys going to Nesta for advice about Feyre!! Maybe they have an argument or a fight about something and Feyre is…Difficult to read and throws up all of her walls and he doesn’t know how to get through to her and is despairing. Nesta is…Not best pleased that he upset Feyre but…she does admit they’re good for each other and she does know Feyre better than most. She gives him some terse but welcome advice, helps him understand Feyre’s reactions and how best to approach her. 

Nesta going to Rhys about Cassian. Before they’re mated she tentatively asks him what a mating bond is like, what it feels like, why the heck anyone actually wants one (she’s not too sure how she feels about someone with a direct connection to her able to feel things that she does. Her mind is her sanctuary and she doesn’t much care for the idea of someone else being able to rifle through it whenever they feel like it) Rhys explains it for her, carefully explains what an honour it is to find a mate, that it’s a rare and cherished thing…but one that’s her choice, and her mate’s. Rhys sussing out that Nesta and Cass are mates before pretty much anyone else and he helps talk to Nesta who can’t understand why this happened or why fate or the damn Cauldron or whatever else would do this to Cassian and leave him stuck with her. Rhys calms her down and talks to her about it, because mother knows he understands what it’s like to feel like you’re not worthy of your mate - and he still struggles with that sometimes, he admits to her, but it’s worth it.  

I feel like these two would actually talk to each other about their shit (not all of it) but…On quiet evenings when they’re just sipping wine and have exhausted all the history/book/play discussion sometimes little things slip out. Nothing too personal but I think Rhys would tell her about his issues with running the court and the pressures on him as High Lord which he never fully feels he can share with his Circle because…well they’re part of his court, he has to keep them safe too and it can be a bit lonely and isolating sometimes. Feyre helps, obviously, and he talks to her about sort of day to day problems but just the general pressure of responsibility in general he talks to Nesta about. And she maybe opens up a little about her worries of not quite belonging anywhere and Rhys can understand that and just. They have little heart-to-hearts sometimes - the little things that they can’t quite tell anyone else/don’t know where else to put them. 

Just. RHYS AND NESTA OKAY. I LIVE FOR THIS. 

Eyes brown like coffee with just the right amount of cream,
A heart as gold as all the treasure in Fort Knox,
Thoughts as deep as the unexplored sea,
Broken like an old record that still plays lovely music,
Warm as the sunlight on a summer’s day,
Beautiful as the little things in life we never seem to notice,
Difficult as a puzzle with a few missing pieces,
Special as every one of a kind piece of artwork in the museums,
Lovable as the moments in time we wish we could get a little more of,
Heartbreaking as a phone call never picked up as you drink into the night,
Confusing as a book with ripped out pages,
Necessary as the oxygen I seem to be low on when you walk by,
Lost as a hiker wandering through the woods with a look of amazement,
Addictive as the drugs they tell you to never get into,
Stunning as the night sky when it’s cloudless and starry,
Enchanting like a fairytale brought to life,
Unexpected as a sunny day when they said there’d be rain,
Calming as a tight hug while you sob on the floor,
Perfect as you are.

You are everything wonderful I write about.

—  read this and know that it’s always you
2

high necklines make me emotional now bc thIS SCENE