abortion experience

Bad Experiences at the Abortion Clinic

Doctors have bad days.  So do nurses.  Doctors can be rude, unfeeling, and distant.  So can nurses.  Doctors and nurses screw up.  Maybe not in the procedure, but they sure can be cold, unfeeling, passive, not meet your emotional needs, etc. 

So can doctors and nurses that provide abortions. 

Abortion doctors and nurses, front desk and office staff, are HUMAN. 

Abortion care is, like all things, a job that they do.  A job that is stressful, not only because of the patients health, but because of outside influences (protesters, death threats, laws to shut down clinics, laws to make the practice of abortion illegal, community pressures, the list goes on forever) 

A job that can be stressful and a job that they do everyday.  A job that gets to be pretty routine.  Sometimes, you forget that what may be routine for you isn’t routine for others, and that it may be scary or stressful. 

I have to keep that in mind when I escort. 

I do this all the time.  I’m used to the anti’s.  The patients are not.  I can say “eh, its no big deal”, but IT COULD BE a big deal to them.  It is scary.  It is stressful. 

I screw up sometimes. 

We all screw up sometimes. 

IT IS NOT A REASON TO MAKE ABORTION ILLEGAL OR TO SHUT DOWN CLINICS. 

I love and appreciate all providers and staff.

Abortion on demand is good for our society.

When people tell me they had a bad experience at a PP or an independent clinic, I will ALWAYS say to report it and talk to someone at that clinic.  

We aren’t perfect.  We all screw up.  

It is important that we are told when we screw up so we can get better and be mindful of our actions. 

i knew it would hurt
the physical pain, that’s what i was expecting
this hurt though, i didn’t see coming
because i don’t regret what i did
i made the right choice for me
but fuck
some days just getting out of bed is too hard to do
knowing that i might see a commercial for baby products on tv is enough for me to keep it off
knowing that i might run into a pregnant person in the shops is enough for me to stay home
but even staying home isn’t safe because there’s no escape from my mind
from either thinking too much or the static white noise of forcing myself to shut down
is it possible to miss someone who was never born?
can you still have postpartum if you aren’t really a mom?
i know one day this pain will pass
and i will be able to breathe again
but now
but right now
it hurts
— 

Anonymous said: Kind of a hard request. But I was wondering if you could write about an abortion. 

Anonymous said: Could you write about the aftermath of an abortion…

(cc, 2017)

Make no mistake

Pro-choice people talk a lot about positive abortion experiences because it helps to destigmatize the procedure, but if your abortion experience was:

- negative
- painful
- the worst decision you ever made
- a mix of conflicting emotions

Your experience and feelings are valid too. Don’t ever think that there’s something wrong with you for feeling the way you do. Abortion isn’t the right choice for everyone, regardless of your opinion on it. Emphasizing positive experiences can make it seem like negative or mixed ones should be silenced, but if you ever want to share, don’t be afraid to. No one’s experience is the standard.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here for you. ❤️
-V

My life isn't tragic nor will I ever pretend that is has been. But, venting about a personally tramatic experience is good for the soul.

I recently had an abortion which was honestly one of the most painful experiences I have ever had both physically and emotionally. I am about to vent about it and the circumstances that lead up to it here under a read more. If you want to read it to understand me and my life better: I appreciate it to the moon and back. If you read it to judge me: more power to you but keep your comments to yourself.

Keep reading

anyway the idea that society loves and venerates mothers universally is a trick and a lie!! The idea that white supremacist cisheteropatriachy wants all “women” to be “mothers” and that rejecting motherhood is the source of misogynist oppression is a trick and a lie! Have you talked lately to a woman who is not white? Have you talked lately to a woman who is not cis? Have you talked lately to a woman who is not straight? Have you talked lately to a woman who is not able-bodied and/or neurotypical (and specifically has a developmental disability of any kind)? Have you talked lately to a woman who is not at least middle-class? Have you asked any woman who fits any of these criteria how she feels about the concept of motherhood, what motherhood means to her, what her relationship to the idea of motherhood looks like, if she has kids, if she wants kids, if she ever thinks she will have kids, if she has had an abortion, what her experience of that was like, if she is on birth control, how her doctor has treated her going on birth control, what sort of childcare work has she done, what “the family” means to her? I mean like a lot of that is invasive but I have talked about a lot of this stuff with women who are, you know, my friends/family, it is possible to have these conversations with each other as human beings, if you haven’t been having these conversations maybe spend some time thinking about why that is. 

It’s sort of a taboo topic but people still go around saying abortion is murder, i do not have a personal experience with abortion but i had the chance of being impregnated during non consenting “sex” and would not have wanted the child. Stop telling people that abortions are wrong, you cant know the circumstances in how the feotus was made or how it would impact the mother.

Please don’t delete my captions
Including politics

Say you’re pro-choice (this is only an example) and want your readers to be pro-choice as well. Which is the best way to convey this in your fiction?

A) Having your characters spout essays about how abortion is a woman’s choice

B) Portraying the pro-choice characters as perfect saints who go around demolishing the evil pro-life people in awesome arguments

C) Having part of your plot be about a character’s abortion experience, which is a net positive

The answer, I believe, is C. I know people who fully agree with Ayn Rand’s politics and yet can’t stand Atlas Shrugged because of the essays taking up space in what is supposed to be a novel. I am a feminist, but I stopped reading Sinfest once it became all about the characters being feminist and beating up MRAs instead of interacting like people. On the other hand, even though I am not a Christian, I have enjoyed many books that espoused Christian morals by having the characters enact those morals. Not talk about those morals, not attack stereotypical people who don’t have those morals, but actually behave according to them. 

The reason is that though the first two options interrupt a story, the third can be part of a story. Two gay characters marrying can be a plot point, whereas two gay characters talking for six pages about marriage cannot. I am not against having politics in stories, since people do political things all the time, but I am against politics making a story worse.

the way that we talk about abortion and birth control as a culture is really frustrating to me because we like to make it more palatable by creating situations where an abortion or birth control is Totally Fine, but what that does is makes all the other situations seem dark, or scary, or bad, or evil when they’re not

using birth control is valid whether you’re doing it for PMS, bad cramps, and acne, or because you want to have sex and not get pregnant

abortion is valid whether you’re pregnant by a traumatic experience, or your life is in danger due to the pregnancy, or because the condom broke and you aren’t ready to have a child

we also leave absolutely no room for people who have had abortions to talk about it. like we seem to love the idea of destigmatizing abortion but what are we doing to make it safe to do that? how do you destigmatize abortion when even the people on your team have no idea what an abortion looks like, or feels like, and treat the whole thing like a spooky scary secret?

you don’t have to be “i’m pro choice but not pro abortion”
you can be pro abortion
you can recognize the huge amount of circumstances that may lead someone to needing an abortion and you can be pro abortion for all of those circumstances 
you don’t have to put abortion through a brita filter to make it clean and sparkly and nice - there’s no one abortion experience, or one kind of person who gets an abortion, or one kind of reaction of having an abortion, and people have never been given the chance to just talk about it

1932 Neuroanatomist Davenport Hooker performed experiments on non-viable babies born alive from both spontaneous and induced abortions. He filmed his experiments on neurological response and in 1933 produced the first film depicting fetal activity called Early Fetal Human Activity. The project to document neurological response from aborted fetuses lasted until 1958.

anonymous asked:

Now ED has a pro-life agenda because of "deliberate framing"?? I don’t understand why it's pro-life to show that abortions carry some degree of trauma, even if the person doesn't regret it overall. Where is the middle ground? Why is the consideration of keeping her baby now totally taboo and offensive? It's ok to feel shame, anxiety, and regret about being in that situation. Not every woman has to turn an unwanted pregnancy into an empowering abortion experience. jfc.

rebecca literally said the words “my body my choice.”…..that’s pro choice rhetoric!!!! and like, ive seen people say “oh well she said that rbert forced her, but she also said that it was the right choice at the time so obv he didnt actually force her” it can be both!!! she couldve been manipulated and talked into it but she can still think it was for the best!!! getting an abortion is traumatic pretty much no matter what, even if you’re secure and sure of your decision!! no good pro-choice advocate is gonna say that having an abortion is simple or easy lmfao and imo it did show a good representation of trying to make an impossible decision that’s right for you and the baby with outsiders trying to influence you to do one thing or the other!! the only reason ppl think its “taboo” that she wants the baby now is bc it interferes with rbron, otherwise we probably wouldnt even be talking about it rn 

I want to address the desire to get pregnant again after a sad abortion experience. I hear this often and can relate. Surely it makes sense to want to re do a pregnancy scenario, and choose another option, if the option we did choose left us hurting.
For me, I want my next pregnancy to be a joyous occasion. I want everyone who hears of it to jump with excitement and genuinely congratulate me. I don’t want to have to second guess anything or have a nagging sense of dread. After a traumatic pregnancy, and abortion, I deserve for my next one to be full of smiles, love, and comfort. I will do everything in my power to make sure that’s how it happens. Of course I sometimes think how nice it would be to have that now, to re write the past, but I can’t have that now, and it’s worth the wait for me!

Oh look, it's reality o'clock

People do not use abortion as a first-response method of contraception. People might not be able to use the birth control method of their choice, might forget or not have sufficient sex education to know what options exist, or be experiencing reproductive coercion, or any number of things which are not “blithely planning on getting an abortion a few times a year.”

See, abortion sucks. Not because a precious ickle life is being snuffed out, but because it sucks for the person getting the abortion. It hurts a fuck ton (ask me how I know), it can be expensive, people might harass you outside the clinic, if you’re not a cis woman, you’ll probably be misgendered to fuck, you’ll feel shitty anywhere from a few days to a couple weeks. Anyway you slice it, it’s a lousy experience. I’ve taken the morning after pill quite a few times, what with one thing and another, and had to get an abortion once. Guess which experience I’d choose to repeat.

The idea that abortion is something that people do regularly cause they don’t feel like using a condom is so ridiculously divorced from reality as to be laughable – or it would be if it weren’t the source for hatefueled legislations and attacks on the personhood of women and the reproductive rights of people who can get pregnant.

People should have access to abortion under any circumstance under which they ask for one, but let’s try to get a clue: nobody does it for funsies.

I did regret my abortion for years and that has nothing to do with anyone else’s abortion experience.
My grief is my truth, it is not telling of how others will feel, how we should treat people seeking abortion, and most importantly how easily abortion should be accessible.
We can’t rid the world of things that make some people sad.
Stop using my regret to shame people.

Lord, I pray for women who are suffering because they chose abortion. May they experience Your love and mercy, and may they find peace in the knowledge that their babies are with You. I pray also for fathers and grandparents who experience the pain of loss through abortion as well.
Be with those also, however, who have had their children killed through abortion or pressured a woman to choose this violent route, but are not aware of the damage it has done to their souls. Have mercy on those who know not what they have done. Awaken their consciences that they may seek Your forgiveness and be saved.
Sweet Holy Children, murdered in the womb, pray for your mothers, pray for women considering the violence of abortion, and pray for the unborn who remain unprotected.

My Story: Why We Need to End Abortion Stigma
In January, at seven weeks two days, I had an abortion. Since then, I have not been able to tell a single person about my experience, pain, relief, or feelings.

This Is hard for me, because I am a person who is usually open and honest with my friends and family, and often ask for their advice or support. However, I just can’t bring myself to say “I had an abortion”. I’m so scared. I’m scared what they will think of me. Scared they will judge me. When I see people on social media talking about how people who get abortions are careless, wanted the easy way out, so on, I just want to tell them my experience. That abortion is NOT an easy choice, and all the lessons it has taught me. I do not think I should be ashamed, 1 in 3 women obtain this legal, safe, medical procedure. But I just can’t bring myself to tell them.

On Monday, I went to the OB GYN. It was the first time I’ve been there since my abortion, and I decided I should tell him, and wanted to ask some questions about fertility and stuff like that. He was a middle aged man, worked at a Catholic Hospital, and also knew my dad. When he asked me if I wanted to ask/ tell him anything, I quietly told “I had an abortion at seven weeks in January”. He nodded, asked if everything had healed OK, but did not say much else

Later, in the exam room, he came in. He put his hand on my shoulder and said these kind words, ones that I do not think I’ll be able to let go of, and have me in tears right now.

“Thank you so much for telling me. I know that must of been really traumatic for you. I’m so thankful you were honest with me and I know it was hard. I’m not here to judge you, just to make sure I can help in any way I can” . He told me when I am ready to have children, I should have no problems, and to not listen to the pro-life antics and “medical facts”.

His kindness gives me courage to be more honest about my experience. However, it makes me sad that the only person I can be 100% honest with is a stranger. People do not realize how their unkind (and often untrue) antics about abortion effect a person, and how it prevents them from being able to give an honest voice about the topic.