abortion experience

Bad Experiences at the Abortion Clinic

Doctors have bad days.  So do nurses.  Doctors can be rude, unfeeling, and distant.  So can nurses.  Doctors and nurses screw up.  Maybe not in the procedure, but they sure can be cold, unfeeling, passive, not meet your emotional needs, etc. 

So can doctors and nurses that provide abortions. 

Abortion doctors and nurses, front desk and office staff, are HUMAN. 

Abortion care is, like all things, a job that they do.  A job that is stressful, not only because of the patients health, but because of outside influences (protesters, death threats, laws to shut down clinics, laws to make the practice of abortion illegal, community pressures, the list goes on forever) 

A job that can be stressful and a job that they do everyday.  A job that gets to be pretty routine.  Sometimes, you forget that what may be routine for you isn’t routine for others, and that it may be scary or stressful. 

I have to keep that in mind when I escort. 

I do this all the time.  I’m used to the anti’s.  The patients are not.  I can say “eh, its no big deal”, but IT COULD BE a big deal to them.  It is scary.  It is stressful. 

I screw up sometimes. 

We all screw up sometimes. 

IT IS NOT A REASON TO MAKE ABORTION ILLEGAL OR TO SHUT DOWN CLINICS. 

I love and appreciate all providers and staff.

Abortion on demand is good for our society.

When people tell me they had a bad experience at a PP or an independent clinic, I will ALWAYS say to report it and talk to someone at that clinic.  

We aren’t perfect.  We all screw up.  

It is important that we are told when we screw up so we can get better and be mindful of our actions. 

i knew it would hurt
the physical pain, that’s what i was expecting
this hurt though, i didn’t see coming
because i don’t regret what i did
i made the right choice for me
but fuck
some days just getting out of bed is too hard to do
knowing that i might see a commercial for baby products on tv is enough for me to keep it off
knowing that i might run into a pregnant person in the shops is enough for me to stay home
but even staying home isn’t safe because there’s no escape from my mind
from either thinking too much or the static white noise of forcing myself to shut down
is it possible to miss someone who was never born?
can you still have postpartum if you aren’t really a mom?
i know one day this pain will pass
and i will be able to breathe again
but now
but right now
it hurts
— 

Anonymous said: Kind of a hard request. But I was wondering if you could write about an abortion. 

Anonymous said: Could you write about the aftermath of an abortion…

(cc, 2017)

Make no mistake

Pro-choice people talk a lot about positive abortion experiences because it helps to destigmatize the procedure, but if your abortion experience was:

- negative
- painful
- the worst decision you ever made
- a mix of conflicting emotions

Your experience and feelings are valid too. Don’t ever think that there’s something wrong with you for feeling the way you do. Abortion isn’t the right choice for everyone, regardless of your opinion on it. Emphasizing positive experiences can make it seem like negative or mixed ones should be silenced, but if you ever want to share, don’t be afraid to. No one’s experience is the standard.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here for you. ❤️
-V

My life isn't tragic nor will I ever pretend that is has been. But, venting about a personally tramatic experience is good for the soul.

I recently had an abortion which was honestly one of the most painful experiences I have ever had both physically and emotionally. I am about to vent about it and the circumstances that lead up to it here under a read more. If you want to read it to understand me and my life better: I appreciate it to the moon and back. If you read it to judge me: more power to you but keep your comments to yourself.

Keep reading

Art Sex Music

So this is probably the second or third real blog post I’ve written on here, but I finally just finished this memoir and I feel a much needed sense of validation. I am not one to believe in holding up idols on a pedestal. I am very critical of celebrity and believe it to be a fake and superficial pursuit. It is funny that even in this book, Cosey exposes the selfish and hypocritical nature of certain counter-culture heroes. That being said, I do take away a rare feeling, connecting with an individual that is critical of the world and will not accept the norms of society. It was refreshing reading the account of a person that seeks out connections with individuals that don’t fit in anywhere else. Reading her text makes me realize, I will probably never lose this angst.

I am not surprised by the sexism she faced wading through the counter-culture art scene of the 70s. The fact that radical thinkers can still be sexists and classist without any sense of self-awareness is not shocking. For those of you who don’t actually know me, I often feel like a mutant that doesn’t really fit in anywhere. In a culture and larger society that lives to label everything, I learned early in life that I was going to have to be patient to find true friends. I have come to treasure my close circle of diverse weirdos. People who, when trying to just get by in normal society, almost implode everyday listening to the sexism, racism, homophobia, pro-capitalist, classism, and general selfish western toxic trash that normal people casually throw around in conversation. I find that this reflects my favorite art; work that is usually unique, falls through the cracks, and doesn’t really fit in any pre-existing label with a set of rules.

Her strong willed inability to compromise certain philosophies about art, sexuality, and how to generally exist in the world, were some things that made me feel like I was reading my own journal. I have never underlined a book so much. After a few breakdowns this year, I feel more inspired to stick to my anti-capitalist ethos in making art. For her, sticking to her beliefs ostracized her from her family and it was a horrible sacrifice she had to make in order to be true to herself. The openness, honesty, and “nothing to lose” attitude was what I related to the most. She writes in a very real and raw way about commonplace (but for some reason taboo to most) biological female experiences (periods, abortion, menopause, etc). “…Soiled bloody tampons and other relics were everyday objects to me, but were obviously shocking to other people.” It can be isolating and cause you to be a bit of a loner. I loved reading these accounts of her knowingly subverting accepted levels of sexual liberation, equating the art world to prostitution, the rampant censorship she faced, being too far outside the box; all in the end to really be about “a sense of freedom, self-achievement, confidence, strength, and a belief in myself.”

My biggest take away is the reinforcement of something that has been floating around in my head a lot lately; the idea that when you don’t fit in and don’t want to submit to the pre-existing system, you are forced to start your own thing. I can’t help but identify with everything in this COUM ethos, “value of freedom is honesty, being true to yourself as part of self-exploration, being true to one another and being selfless.” My network is splintered, treating uniqueness as a treasure. I will probably always remain analytical and critical of the world around me no matter how exhausting it may be. I will continue on and not apologize for my deep seated beliefs on sexual liberation. I will continue to try to balance the need for individualism and the want to be selfless.

anonymous asked:

I've never heard of radical feminism that isn't trans exclusionary, so I'm wondering if you can explain/lead me to an explanation? like, what make it radical? (most people, including myself, associate radical with trans exclusion) ~trans comrade

radical feminism is the idea that gender is the way by which females are oppressed, and that gender abolition is ultimately the only way to liberate females from patriachy. radical feminists generally hold marxist principles, and are also anti capitalist and understand patriachy and capitalism as being inherently linked (because a capitalist society needs workers and soldiers and you get those through exploiting the reproductive capacity of females). 

my main advice is just, please read a book. watch a documentary. go to a talk by a radfem. please stop getting all your info on radical feminism from callout posts by [gender/mental illness][fictional character].tumblr.com. the female eunuch is good. angela carter is good if you want to explore radical feminism through fiction, she’s also heterosexual and moderately trans inclusive (new eve!) so she’s a nice slow introduction for people who are suspicious of radfems. julie bindal and germaine greer do talks a lot. i dont know if chimimanda ngozi adiche identifies as a radical feminist but her tedtalks and books have a lot of radfem ideas and shes an amazing speaker so shes pleasing to listen to. a bunch of ex porn actresses hold the same beliefs as the “swerf”/ sex critical elements of radical feminism, http://shelleylubben.com/ is a good place to start with sex worker testimonies, although shelley herself is now a christian. 

most of radical feminism’s core ideals are also really good for trans people, even if trans people are not the focus of the analysis. porn and pimps exploit trans women horrifically, trans men need abortions and experience FGM. it’s totally possible to help people without constantly mentioning them. 

like, tl;dr radical feminism is not about trans people, and it’s way deeper than germaine greer making a slightly insensitively phrased comment or people holding subtley different definitions of words to you. just educate yourself, it’s obviously okay not to agree but please know what you’re disagreeing with. 

#not a stim

Needed: People with abortion experiences!

I only have 3 interviews completed at this time. If you know of anyone who has had an abortion (of if you’ve had one yourself), PLEASE let them know about my research. My only requirements are they must be over 18 and living in Georgia. I appreciate all the survey responses, but I also need to interview people. Interviews can be done in person or via Skype.

I am looking for a variety of abortion experiences, so people who feel regret, relief, guilt, sadness, and/or empowerment are welcome to participate. You can be pro-life, pro-choice, or something in between. This research is not about politics or who’s right or wrong - I just want to hear your story.

Contact: abortionstorythesis@gmail.com

anyway the idea that society loves and venerates mothers universally is a trick and a lie!! The idea that white supremacist cisheteropatriachy wants all “women” to be “mothers” and that rejecting motherhood is the source of misogynist oppression is a trick and a lie! Have you talked lately to a woman who is not white? Have you talked lately to a woman who is not cis? Have you talked lately to a woman who is not straight? Have you talked lately to a woman who is not able-bodied and/or neurotypical (and specifically has a developmental disability of any kind)? Have you talked lately to a woman who is not at least middle-class? Have you asked any woman who fits any of these criteria how she feels about the concept of motherhood, what motherhood means to her, what her relationship to the idea of motherhood looks like, if she has kids, if she wants kids, if she ever thinks she will have kids, if she has had an abortion, what her experience of that was like, if she is on birth control, how her doctor has treated her going on birth control, what sort of childcare work has she done, what “the family” means to her? I mean like a lot of that is invasive but I have talked about a lot of this stuff with women who are, you know, my friends/family, it is possible to have these conversations with each other as human beings, if you haven’t been having these conversations maybe spend some time thinking about why that is. 

I want to address the desire to get pregnant again after a sad abortion experience. I hear this often and can relate. Surely it makes sense to want to re do a pregnancy scenario, and choose another option, if the option we did choose left us hurting.
For me, I want my next pregnancy to be a joyous occasion. I want everyone who hears of it to jump with excitement and genuinely congratulate me. I don’t want to have to second guess anything or have a nagging sense of dread. After a traumatic pregnancy, and abortion, I deserve for my next one to be full of smiles, love, and comfort. I will do everything in my power to make sure that’s how it happens. Of course I sometimes think how nice it would be to have that now, to re write the past, but I can’t have that now, and it’s worth the wait for me!

the way that we talk about abortion and birth control as a culture is really frustrating to me because we like to make it more palatable by creating situations where an abortion or birth control is Totally Fine, but what that does is makes all the other situations seem dark, or scary, or bad, or evil when they’re not

using birth control is valid whether you’re doing it for PMS, bad cramps, and acne, or because you want to have sex and not get pregnant

abortion is valid whether you’re pregnant by a traumatic experience, or your life is in danger due to the pregnancy, or because the condom broke and you aren’t ready to have a child

we also leave absolutely no room for people who have had abortions to talk about it. like we seem to love the idea of destigmatizing abortion but what are we doing to make it safe to do that? how do you destigmatize abortion when even the people on your team have no idea what an abortion looks like, or feels like, and treat the whole thing like a spooky scary secret?

you don’t have to be “i’m pro choice but not pro abortion”
you can be pro abortion
you can recognize the huge amount of circumstances that may lead someone to needing an abortion and you can be pro abortion for all of those circumstances 
you don’t have to put abortion through a brita filter to make it clean and sparkly and nice - there’s no one abortion experience, or one kind of person who gets an abortion, or one kind of reaction of having an abortion, and people have never been given the chance to just talk about it

Abraham's journal notes - Vampires and different chemicals and substances
  • These are notations I have made through thourough experiments that have been repeated several times until the result is certain. The vampire was exposed to the certain chemical or otherwise in different ways to see what would be the most effective. I'm writing this down for future science and findings.
  • Mercury: When injected or otherwise entering a vampire's bloodsystem, it starts breaking them down. Vampire blood isn't made to coagulate and mercury happens to force the blood to do so, causing the vampire to turn into dust as all the blood coagulates in the veins.
  • Reactions observed were stomachaches that cause the subject to vomit violently, they grow colder and less agile, stifftening beyond the ability to walk until their body turns to dust. The only possible treatment is for the vampire is bloodletting - To completely replace the blood in the body.
  • Silver: Burns a vampire. The area which comes in contact with the silver will sizzle and burn until a it burns to the level of black coal. Most vampires perish at that level depending on where the silver is put.
  • Rosary: Has the same affect as silver, only slightly greater though harder to work with on the field since a rosary can't be used as a long-ranged weapon. Works well for self-defense for close battles though such should be avoided at all costs.
  • Holy water: Works like acid and literally melts the vampire tissue. Small drops thrown to the face will only cause harm for a moment wheras if the liquid is poured in a larger amount onto any still part of the vampire, it will melt a hole straight through until it hits the stone of my lab table.
  • Silver mercury: Once injected it is the most effective way to exterminate vampires I have found this far. All vampires, except Alucard, immideately turned to dust. Alucard, who is usually resistant to any type of pain-inducing drugs, screamed and seemed to be in such agony after a mere millimeter of liquid had been inserted that he had to abort the experiment. The pain was too great to continue any further.
  • Poppy: A mistake that resulted in a highly amusing reaction. Powdered poppy can, when inhaled, make vampires drunk. It lasts for approximately two hours during which time their balance will be highly reduced and they will giggle at everything and anything around them. If you have a family of vampires, they will chase eachother, tumble with eachother and act very animalistic. Highly amusing, not all too useful in battle unless the goal is to confuse the vampires.
  • Mint: Even less expected than Poppy, a rather amusing reaction but one that should be avoided at all costs.
  • Mint is an aphrosodiac to vampires. It removes all their higher brainfunctions such as understanding words and speaking, only able to communicate through animalistic sounds and act on lust-driven instincts. This should be avoided at all costs since a vampire is very strong and accidents have happened since they can't understand words or orders at all.
Oh look, it's reality o'clock

People do not use abortion as a first-response method of contraception. People might not be able to use the birth control method of their choice, might forget or not have sufficient sex education to know what options exist, or be experiencing reproductive coercion, or any number of things which are not “blithely planning on getting an abortion a few times a year.”

See, abortion sucks. Not because a precious ickle life is being snuffed out, but because it sucks for the person getting the abortion. It hurts a fuck ton (ask me how I know), it can be expensive, people might harass you outside the clinic, if you’re not a cis woman, you’ll probably be misgendered to fuck, you’ll feel shitty anywhere from a few days to a couple weeks. Anyway you slice it, it’s a lousy experience. I’ve taken the morning after pill quite a few times, what with one thing and another, and had to get an abortion once. Guess which experience I’d choose to repeat.

The idea that abortion is something that people do regularly cause they don’t feel like using a condom is so ridiculously divorced from reality as to be laughable – or it would be if it weren’t the source for hatefueled legislations and attacks on the personhood of women and the reproductive rights of people who can get pregnant.

People should have access to abortion under any circumstance under which they ask for one, but let’s try to get a clue: nobody does it for funsies.

I did regret my abortion for years and that has nothing to do with anyone else’s abortion experience.
My grief is my truth, it is not telling of how others will feel, how we should treat people seeking abortion, and most importantly how easily abortion should be accessible.
We can’t rid the world of things that make some people sad.
Stop using my regret to shame people.

anonymous asked:

I'm about to give up. After aborting a wanted pregnancy all these pro lifers calling me a disease riddled slut and telling me I did it just for more dick is driving me to hurt myself. Fuck everything. See you judgemental pieces of shit in hell.

Anon, please don’t let what they say drive you to do something drastic. Pro-lifers are completely wrong. You are not anything they say. You are wonderful, strong, and I respect and support you. Please, please, please don’t listen to them. Block them if you need to. Surround yourself with positive people who care about YOU and support YOU!

Fellow pro-choicers, can we all please show anon some love?

@motherbychoice
@feminismandmedia
@prochoice-or-gtfo
@heartandstride
@prochoice-chick
@pro-abortion-rights

Anon, I’m here if you ever need to talk. Or if you need any resources or anyone to talk to, I’m sure one of us can help you get connected. I also know there are services you can contact to talk about your abortion experience. PLEASE reach out to any of us, we’re all here for you!

anonymous asked:

Hello, I recently had an abortion and I absolutely know it was the right decision for me at this point in time, but I am still struggling with it. I know someone who is due when I would have been and it's killing me knowing what milestones I would be hitting and how far along I would be now. What can I do to help myself get through this? Are there any resources I can utilize? Thank you in advance.

First, thank you for sharing your experience with us. Abortion experiences can bring up a lot of feelings, especially because we’re often dealing with many of the situations surrounding the abortion itself. Most people, 95%, feel that abortion was the right decision for them and don’t regret it. Often, talking about your abortion with a loved one or friend can help and give you space to process your experience. You can also call Backline, and talk to their counselors about your experience. They will offer a nonjudgmental listening ear. Their number is (888) 493-0092. If you want to read abortion stories to know that you aren’t alone, check out We Testify and the 1 in 3 Campaign.


Even when a decision is right for you, it is not uncommon to think, what if? This is also true of many decisions we make in life. I call these “what if” fantasies, rather than doubts. When asked, a 70+ year old woman told me about her illegal abortion before Roe. When figuring when it happened she responded not with her age, nor the year… but told me how old the child of that never-completed pregnancy might have been. And she also never regretted her decision; at the time she had three teenagers.

Still, knowing these thoughts are common may not help you address your discomfort. Good for you for having insight to see you are not quite back to normal. You can give it time… but, here are free resources available:

EXHALE After Abortion Talkline: 1-866-4-EXHALE (1-866-439-4253)
Faith Aloud, Faith Based Hotline - 1-888-717-5010
National Abortion Federation’s “What should I expect after abortion” Aftercare and Followup page. Look under Emotions