abominible snowman

Warm

Time for some more whump! It’s Day Two- Hypothermia!

Lance and Keith (read: klance) go to an ice planet.

why do i only ever hurt lance


“Figures,” Lance grumbled. “Stereotypical ice planet. Why couldn’t the rebels have lived on, I don’t know, a tropical island? The entire known universe and we can’t stumble across some beach residents in need of rescue?”

“Lance,” Shiro’s disapproving voice sounded over the coms. “The two of them gave me their only ship. Which means we’re helping them. They’re part of a freedom fighter organization, maybe they can help us.”

“Yeah, okay, but why do I have to be the one that gets sent down here? I’m from Cuba! This is way, way below comfortable temperatures for me.”

“Quit whining,” Keith snapped, glaring at Lance over his shoulder. “Our armor’s designed to keep us warm, and this is below comfortable for anyone. And pick up the pace.”

Lance rolled his eyes, but jogged to catch up to him.

“Sorry, Lance, but the red lion is the best at withstanding extreme temperatures. And it’s smaller, and faster than the other lions, so it can better navigate the terrain,” Shiro explained.

“Wish I had help navigating the terrain now,” Lance muttered under his breath. The two of them were currently struggling through over a foot of snow. “And that doesn’t explain why I had to bring Keith with me.”

“Because going on solo missions to unknown locations is how you get killed,” Pidge pointed out. “Star Wars? Hoth? Luke almost getting annihilated by the abominable snowman? Any of that ring a bell?”

“Quiznaking ice planets. Why are we out of the lion anyway, Shiro? Red’s warm. Do you want us to freeze to death and then have to hide inside the body of a space camel?” Lance’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Star Wars, Keith. Remind me to marathon it with you when we get back to Earth. My niece loves those movies, and she’ll eat all the popcorn, but it’s worth it. Trust me.”

“Would you two take this mission seriously?” Shiro asked. Lance could practically see him rubbing his temples exhaustedly. “I know it’s not exactly high-stakes adventure, but these guys saved my life. You’re not going to go prancing around the planet in your lion and accidentally destroy their hideout.”

Prancing? Shiro, I don’t prance, I'm—”

“Lance, look,” Keith interrupted him and pointed out towards a large stretch of ice before them. It would’ve been a lake, had the planet not had such low temperatures. “Pidge, is that the direction we need to go?”

“Yep,” she told them. “The hideout’s not far from the opposite side.”

Keith sighed. “We’ll have to go around.”

“Woah, what? Keith, that lake is huge! It’d be so much easier to walk straight across,” Lance protested. “I’m not about to freeze to death while we take the scenic route.”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, that’s ice, dumbass. If it can’t support our weight and breaks then we really could freeze to death! That water’s gotta be a lot worse than this.”

“I’m not an idiot, Keith, I know that. Pidge, if I send you a scan can you see if it’ll support us?” Lance asked. Pidge made a noise of affirmation, and Lance used his armor’s scanner to send an analysis of the ice to her.

“It looks pretty thick,” she mused. “I wouldn’t jump up and down or start hacking at it with your bayards if I were you, but you’ll be able to walk across.”

See?” Lance smirked at him. “What’d I tell you? It’s fine.”

“Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, check the lake? What if there’s a… space octopus in there, or something? Or a shark? I mean, they wouldn’t normally live in lakes, but this isn’t Earth so who knows? Are space alligators a thing?” Hunk spoke so fast it was almost difficult to understand.

“Hunk, you’re rambling,” Lance observed with a fond smile. “But don’t worry. The top of the lake is frozen, so they wouldn’t be able to breathe, right? Let alone get to us. If it makes you feel better, I’ll do a full scan of the lake.”

“Nope. No animals down there,” Pidge confirmed a few moments later. “Now would you two hurry up and cross?”

“I still have a really bad feeling about this,” Keith mumbled.

Lance turned towards him with a grin. “We are so watching Star Wars together. In fact, we should see if they have it at the space mall. But sorry, Keith, if you want to go the long way, be my guest. I’m not going to wait any longer than I have to.”

“He really is the true pilot of Red,” Pidge sounded as if she was trying to repress a laugh. “Impatient as all hell.”

Hey!” Keith and Lance exclaimed at the same time.

Pidge snorted. “Just get going already.”

Lance wasted no time in starting out across the lake. He was several paces ahead of Keith, who still hesitated to step out onto it. As he was about to continue forward, Keith stopped in his tracks. He could swear he saw something dark moving below the ice, but Pidge had scanned the lake for life, hadn’t she? It must just be his imagination. He started forward again, but just then the ground shook, and the ice in front of Lance exploded.

He let out a strangled yelp, stumbling away from whatever had just burst out of the lake. Keith could hear the frantic voices of the others in his ears, but it all descended into white noise as he saw the vine that had broken through the ice wrap around Lance’s legs.

He rushed forward, but it was already too late. Keith watched as Lance was dragged into the hole made by the creature, and plunged into the freezing lake.


The water was murky, and dark. Lance could barely see, all he knew was that something was dragging him further and further down into the depths. He didn’t have time to activate his helmet properly before water was rushing into his lungs.

He felt the grip of whatever held him tightening on his legs, and though he tried to kick he couldn’t break free.

Lance forced himself not to panic. Panicking wouldn’t help him. So he collected his thoughts, summoned his bayard, and pointed it down. He still couldn’t see anything, but with luck he’d hit the monster, not himself. He moved his finger to the trigger, aimed for what he hoped wasn’t his leg, and fired.

Judging by the shriek of pain and how the hold on him loosened, Lance guessed the laser met its mark. He kicked upwards immediately, swimming quickly to the surface. However, with limited eyesight and dwindling oxygen, his hands met nothing but ice. Panic started to overtake him again as he desperately scrambled to find the hole which he’d fallen into.

Lance was just starting to give up hope completely when suddenly a hand snagged around his wrist and yanked him to the side, and up to the surface.

Lance sucked in a breath, coughing the water out of his lungs as he collapsed onto the ice. His vision was foggy around the edges, but he could see well enough to notice Keith kneeling over him, breathing heavily.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, hands hovering over Lance’s form. “Are you hurt?”

“What—” Lance coughed again. “What was that… that thing?”

“I… I didn’t scan for plants,” Pidge told him apologetically. “In my defense, I had no idea there would be some crazy strong… Venus flytrap-ish monster living here.”

Now will you listen to me when I tell you something’s a bad idea?” Keith asked, sounding way to relieved to actually come off as angry.

Lance gave him a shaky smile. “I c-could ask you the… the same, S-samurai.”. Keith tensed immediately.

“Why’s he talking like that?” he asked. “He’s… breathing weird, too. And shivering. Pidge, what—”

“Keith. Scan. Now.” Pidge’s voice was suddenly alert, and when Keith complied, she cursed. “Hypothermia. I should’ve guessed. Keith, get him back to the castle. He should be fine, but he needs a pod. Allura and I will come back to the planet in Blue later.”

Keith nodded, picking Lance up in his arms as if he weighed nothing at all, before rushing towards Red. “Hang on, Lance. You’re gonna be fine.”

“You.. you were r-right,” Lance admitted around chattering teeth. “That was a… very b-bad idea.” His eyes started to slide shut.

“Wh— no, Lance, you have to stay awake. C'mon, keep your eyes open. We’re almost there.”

“’M sorry, Keith, b-but it’s… it’s freezing, and you’re r-r-really w-warm,” Lance mumbled, closing his eyes and leaning his head on Keith’s shoulder. “I think… I’ll just take a little n-nap.”

“Lance, no, you’ve got to—” Keith started insistently, but Lance had already passed out in his arms.


Lance fell unceremoniously out of the healing pod, but was luckily caught before he collapsed onto the floor. He looked up to meet Keith’s dark eyes, and promptly groaned. “So, I guess we had another bonding moment.”

Keith bristled. “That’s all you have to say? Not ‘thank you for saving my life?’ After your stupid decision-making skills got you put in a pod for the… how many times has it been now?”

Lance ignored him. “Where are the others?”

“None of them wanted to stay overnight, because, again, you’ve been in this pod way too many times,” Keith told him, unsure if he should point out that Lance had made no move to step back, so Keith was still supporting the entirety of his weight.

“And yet you stayed,” Lance grinned. “Guess I should probably start listening to you, huh?”

“Guess so.”

Lance’s smile turned quickly into a smirk. “Well, that’s too bad, since we both know that’s never going to happen.”

Keith scowled, prepared to drop Lance onto the floor. He would have to, if Lance hadn’t leaned forward at that exact moment and kissed him.

It didn’t last long, but Keith was blushing furiously, anyway. It was nice to see that Lance looked a little flustered, too, though.

“Thanks,” Lance said softly. “For saving my life.”

“Um,” Keith started, brain still trying to understand what was going on. “Did you just— you and I— is this— what?”

Lance laughed, finally stepping back from Keith and turning to walk out the door. “I’m going to go get some food goo, if you’d care to join me.”

Keith watched him go, and stammered out a few more incoherent sentences before rushing after him.

7

The Yeti joke. How I Met Your Mother Files. Screencaps from The X-Files Season 1, Episode 20, “Darkness Falls.” Lines from HIMYM Season 9, Episode 24, “Last Forever, Part 2.”

Why isn’t shakespeare on ice a thing?

Shakespice.

Icespeare.

Romeo & Cooliet.

The two gentlemen of frozona.

A midwinter nights dream.

Fukcen doing soliloquies while skating endless figure of eights and a jumping spin thing for the final rhyming couplet.

Exeunt pursued by the abominable snowman.

lockedinmybody  asked:

daliaaaaa could you tell me your fave sterek fics please?? :)

How could you ask me this? Do you have any idea how many sterek fics I’ve read over the years? How many I’ve loved?

This is a short list of the very few I could think of off the top of my head. I think I’ll probably make a recs page, because I’ve been meaning to for a long time. I have a recs tag, but that includes different pairings as well.


Sideways and Slantways and Longways and Backways

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!”
Derek raised an eyebrow at him.
“That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress.
Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.”

(Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

The Price

Stiles must surrender the most important thing in his life to protect the town… and no one can figure out what it was.

Around The Bend

The first time Derek catches sight of the new yoga instructor, Stiles is in the middle of showing a class how to do downward-facing dog. Derek walks into a wall.

Things don’t exactly improve from there.

Derek can’t stop staring at Stiles, the bendy new yoga instructor at his family’s gym. Stiles thinks Derek’s a repressed homophobe who hates Stiles for making him want the D. They fall in love.

can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful

“Be cool, Dad, we’ve decided to con Grandma.”

(Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma’s and she gets the right wrong idea.)

Keep reading

soncimonci  asked:

Hi, I just can't stay away from this awesome blog <3 Could you please update the abominable snowman Stiles tag?

thanks man!

Halflings by AsagiStilinski (1/1 | 2,687 | G)

Derek hated Christmas Eve

He hated Christmas too, to an extent, but he especially hated Christmas Eve

Wich, he knew, was incredibly ironic, considering he was one of Santa’s elves

Yetis Adore Ice by LadyDrace (1/1 | 328 | G)

Ice King Derek is finally bringing his intended home to meet the family, AKA Laura.

Mistletoe and Reindeer Lichen by bioloyg (1/1 | 10,445 | PG13)

Back in the present, Derek bends down and picks up the broken phone, trying not to panic when he can’t catch a scent on the thing. He slides the shattered and useless husk of technology into his pocket for later and keeps going despite the burning itch at the base of his spine telling him to shift, to run, to find Stiles. The flipped coffee table and disjointed Christmas tree are enough to focus him. He can smell Stiles’ determination here as if it were something tangible. It’s strong, which is a relief. It means Stiles was alive when they dragged him out.

He hopes it stayed that way after the fact.

Ice, Ice Baby by thegirlgrey (2/5 | 6,512 | PG13)

“There’s no way I can convince you that you ate some bad rabbit, and you’re having some wicked crazy indigestion is there?”

Derek’s eyes are flitting between the snow and Stiles, more specifically the small area where the snow isn’t falling on Stiles but being drifted away like he’s covered in some sort of force field.

“Not a chance in hell.”

Or the one where Stiles was telling Matt the truth, sort of.

Big Game. [Lacrosse Week Smut]

A;N: I want to formally apologise that it has been so long. Y’all have been so patient and I love you guys! Anyways, this is for the wonderful @sarcasticallystilinski and @rememberstilinski ‘s Lacrosse Week! I hope y’all are ready. xoxo

Pairing: StilesStilinskixOC

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Warnings: Filth.

Word count: 5,933

Listen to me.

Originally posted by dylanobrienthingss

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Goosebumps Title Asks

Welcome to Dead House - Have you ever moved to a new home?
Stay Out of the Basement - Are you hiding anything…?
Monster Blood - How tall are you? Would you change your height if given the chance?
Say Cheese and Die - What is your favorite photo of yourself? Could you share it?
The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb - Do you believe in curses and bad luck?
Lets Get Invisible - Have you ever wished you could trade places with someone else for a day?
Night of the Living Dummy - Do you constantly try to one-up your siblings? If you don’t have siblings, do you constantly try to one-up other people? 
The Girl Who Cried Monster - Can you recall a time that people did not believe you about something, even though you were telling the truth?
Welcome to Camp Nightmare - What lengths have you gone through to pass a test?
The Ghost Next Door - If you could choose how you were going to die, how would you go and why?
The Haunted Mask - What do you consider to be a “symbol of love” in your life?
Be Careful What You Wish For - If you had three wishes, what would they be?
Piano Lessons can be Murder - Do you have any musical talent? What kind of instrument(s) can you play?
The Werewolf of Fever Swamp - Would you adopt a stray animal? Have you?
You Can’t Scare Me - What is your biggest fear?
One Day at Horrorland - Do you enjoy rides? What is your favorite ride?
Why I’m Afraid of Bees - Do you kill insects or let them outside?
Deep Trouble - Do you like to swim? A pool or the ocean?
The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight - Do you have any bizarre family/close family friends? What do they do that’s so out of the norm?
Go Eat Worms - Have you ever ruined someone else’s hard work?
Ghost Beach - Do you have any unusual hobbies that other people may judge you for?
Phantom of the Auditorium - Have you ever been to or been in a play? What play(s) have you gone to/been to?
Attack of the Mutant - Who is your favorite comic book Super-Villain?
My Hairiest Adventure - How did you react when you reached puberty? How about when you started to grow hair in weird places?
A Night in Terror Tower - Have you ever traveled to another country? Where did you go and what kinds of things did you experience?
The Cuckoo Clock of Doom - If you could go back in time, where would you go and why?
It Came from Beneath the Sink - How often do you compliment others? How often do you insult others?
The Barking Ghost - Are you a dog person or a cat person?
The Horror at Camp Jellyjam - Have you ever tried so hard to win something that you realized wasn’t worth winning in the first place?
Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes - Have you ever been accused of something you never did?
A Shocker on Shock Street - What is your favorite genre of movie? What is your favorite movie of that genre?
The Headless Ghost - Do you enjoy scaring others? Or do you enjoy being scared yourself?
The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena - Do you prefer the cold weather or the hot weather? 
How I got my Shrunken Head - Do you own any rare or bizarre artifacts?
Bad Hare Day - Are you into magic tricks? Can you perform any?
Egg Monsters from Mars - What is your favorite holiday?
The Beast from the East - What is your favorite outdoors game to play?
Ghost Camp - What is your favorite summer-time activity?
How to Kill a Monster - What are you allergic to (if anything at all)?
Legend of the Lost Legend - Have you ever gone treasure-hunting or geocaching? 
Attack of the Jack'O'Lanterns -  What is your favorite Halloween costume (that you’ve worn or seen someone else wear)?
Vampire Breath - Are you forgetful and often misplace important things?
Calling All Creeps - Have you ever received and answered a strange call from an unknown number?
Beware the Snowman - What is your favorite thing to do in the snow? 
How I Learned to Fly - Do you wish to be famous? Do you think being famous would ruin who you are?
Chicken Chicken - Have you ever done something that has caused you to regret it once you received the consequences?
Don’t Go to Sleep - What keeps you up at night?
The Blob that Ate Everyone - What kind of things do you like to write about (if anything at all)?
The Curse of Camp Cold Lake - Do you treat others with the same respect they treat you?
My Best Friend is Invisible - Do you believe in ghosts? Have you ever gone ghost hunting?
The Haunted School - What is your favorite subject in school? What is your least favorite subject?
Werewolf Skin - Do you feel comfortable in your own skin?
I Live in your Basement - Are your parents extremely over-protective or are they under-protective?