It makes me so uncomfortable when allistics try to show support for autistic people by talking about positive autism stereotypes (like “oh you’re autistic? I know this autistic guy and he’s really smart!” or whatever.) I can’t really articulate it but like it makes me feel like they think if you’re autistic you can make up for it by being a computer genius or whatever but if you’re not talented enough to dazzle everyone with your savant skills, then you have no way of redeeming yourself.

Neuroqueer Nidoqueen: “We don’t seem disabled because we learn to cope. That’s not an excuse to deny accommodations.”

We do not spend our whole lives moping about how disabled we are. We adapt. That’s why we don’t “look disabled”: Because we figure out how to avoid disabling circumstances, so you don’t see us actively being disabled. You just see the absence of us in places we’re excluded from.

The fact that we’ve found ways to cope does not excuse you being part of the system that forces us to do so. Disabled people learning to live without certain civil rights does not excuse you violating them. That’s like saying we shouldn’t feed starving people if they’ve figured out how to safely chop off and cook their own body parts.

–Nidoqueen

oceanbeam asked:

I don't want to keep attention to your appearance for very long and if I am prying please let tell but I am very curious in one of the pics where you have on a red shirt in the woods you seem to be a different size, has your change in appearance been something of a change in the perception of you from others I ask because i am overweight and have been most of my life but after letting go of self hate from weight I noticed a change in the way people treated me and I want to hear your experience.

Like most young people I started internalizing patriarchal ideas of desirability very young. From internalizing a cisheteropatriarchal norm of what a “woman” is supposed to look like, her figure, skin-tone, and so forth, I started thinking I was supposed to fit in this box of what a “man” is supposed to look like too. The more I reflect on it the more it’s obvious how binarized my understanding of bodies was. Also, like most young people I did not fit perfectly into the box of patriarchal masculinity – but I sure tried (I still do, it’s something I haven’t fully unlearned).

I started lifting at around 14 years old. I played a lot of sports. Powerlifting was my favorite. It became very empowering to me because I’ve never had a super lean physique (what the fitness industry values), not without extended and acute dieting, so understanding that my body, though built differently, could still be appreciated for its strength and explosiveness built confidence in me. It was cool being “a beast” in the gym. I was stronger than most people my size (one of my friends at the time went as far as using anabolics to catch up to me). It did not last though. 

During my first two years of college a lower-back injury shifted my training away from powerlifting toward bodybuilding. This did not help my self-image issues, it made them a lot worse. What was empowering about lifting, the setting goals of physical feats and smashing through them, a task I am well built for, became intertwined and inseparable from achieving a hyper-masculinized aesthetic that is unrealistic. I used to read Flex Magazine and Muscle & Fitness all the time. This reinforced my binarization of people’s bodies, and it served as a constant reminder that I must be vigilant at all times of my exercise and eating habits because it would impact how I looked. Of course, if other people did not also look how I thought they should they must not be “fit” either. 

Such assumptions happen all the time: Fitness magazines intentionally market bodies within patriarchal norms because patriarchy has a monopoly over what constitutes a desirable body. It is within the parameters of patriarchy that an economy of desirability emerges, an economy that says only a narrow spectrum of bodies are worthy of love while the vast majority must be “fixed” before being loved. But what happens if a person’s body can never be “fixed,” can never attain normalized “fitness”? Unattainability is the world point of it though. This is why gym culture is saturated with imagery that makes us hate ourselves, because self-hatred is essential to a fitness industry centered on patriarchy, without which it would rapidly lose profitability. A fitness culture centered on self-love would eviscerate profit.  

Because of my body-type strength and mass have come easier with age, but my back severely limits what I can do. It is increasingly difficult to see the gym as a place that empowers me. My awareness of ableism has deepened significantly because of my injury (even more after a heart issue I had a few months ago). It has allowed me to push further into deconstructing how patriarchy shapes womanhood, all genders, and desirability, but I have a lot of reflecting to do in breaking down how it has shaped my own self-image and self-esteem. In other words, while I am good about not judging others based on patriarchal ideas of “fitness,” I am still harshly judging myself. I have been wanting to again separate what is empowering for me about physical activity from needing to engage in it to attain a certain physique, a physique that wholly aligns with hyper-masculinity. With bodybuilding the goal is literally to attain a body which reflects the needs and wants of patriarchy, so I need to find exercise where my goals can exist outside its constitution of desirability. I used to kickbox – I’d really like to get back into that but it’s so expensive.

I hope you find happiness in your body. In fact I hope you get past that, I hope we all do. Like my partner might say: There are parts of us that will never be deemed worthy of love within this system. This is the “ugly.” Loving our ugliness then becomes survival – and resistance.

If you wanna be disabled in America, you need to be rich...

Had to get a new shower chair a couple weeks back cuz my old one (which was 8 years old) literally fell apart…

Now I get a letter from my insurance company telling me ‘this service is not covered under your plan’ so I owe the medical equipment company $1717…

This shit is a medical necessity, how is it not covered???

I hate this institutionalized financial punishment for being disabled and trying to live a life as normal as possible.

This is bullshit.

[I’ve seen quite a few disabled/chronically ill folks speaking up about how the ADA is not enough; more needs to be done. If you’re able-bodied and posting solely about how the ADA solved everything instead of amplifying their voices, you’re part of the problem. As usual, people with disabilities/impairments/chronic/mental illness are speaking up. Please listen to them. Amplify their voices.]

I’m tired of organizations who claim they “serve people with disabilities” really only existing to profit off of them. They’re usually run by able-bodied, well-paid CEOs who don’t know a single thing about what it’s like to have a disability or impairment of any kind. By people who tell families “we can add you to the waiting list” or “you can’t be in that program; you’re already in another.”

I’m tired of hearing “independence” as an excuse to not provide accommodations/services to people who not only need it, but are clearly asking for it. “Independence” is the reason state funding is being cut for much needed programs. The twisted irony is that these programs often pave the way toward increased independence, self-sufficiency, and fulfillment.

Example: my brother, an adult with an intellectual disability, lives with my parents. He would eventually like to be in an apartment that’s monitored (sort of like assisted living). This is something he independently voiced and something he wants. Structure and routine are both very important to him.

But there are disability “activists” out there who think this is a terrible idea, because he’s not “fully integrated” in the community. These “allies” don’t want to help disabled people. They simply want to ignore very real issues, and very real people.

And I’m over it.

Just saw an abortion debate over whether or not a 6-9 week fetus can be considered a human, and someone actually compared it to being disabled. They essentially said that if a fetus is not considered human if it’s not fully functional, then disabled people can’t be considered human either because they aren’t “fully functional.” I am floored. Did I really just hear that?? No matter what your stance on abortion, you should be able to see how that is an offensive, ignorant, and nonsensical comparison. I don’t even know what to say because I’m so shocked by the statement. Maybe someone else has a better comeback than my jaw hitting the floor.

can y'all stop telling young and impressionable mentally ill and disabled people on here to “stop using the term ableism, use sanism instead!!!” because like…. ur teaching mentally ill and disabled ppl to use a term that describes specific ableism aimed at psychotic/delusional/etc etc people and NOT the mentally ill and disabled as a whole. Like this isn’t some huge term covering everyone it’s specific

And 2: it’s still….. A form of ableism….. It doesn’t just stop being it because it’s a specific form of it. Ableism against the mentally ill and disabled is still ableism….. y u saying it isnt

HEY FRIENDS

BEING ALL “YOU DONT SHOW EMOTIONS AND ITS HURTING ME” TO PPL WITH MENTAL ILLNESS IS ABLEIST AND RUDE AND REALLY FUCKING GUILT TRIPPING LIKE SOMEHOW YOUR EMOTIONS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY IS MY BUSINESS LIKE SHIT, FUCKING NO, NOPE. IF U DONT LIKE IT WHEN PPL DONT SHOW EMOTIONS/SHOW THEM IN A WAY U R NOT USED TO MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET NEW FRIENDS AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM PPL WHO SHOW EMOTIONS IN DIFFERENT WAYS. ALSO FUCK YOU. :) 

check out this shit from group. this is some fucked up shit

the therapist didn’t mention me by name when she said that all of us do this, but she definitely meant me when she mentioned people using identity first, “i am bipolar” versus “i HAVE bipolar” which is the only thing she accepts

and like

first off, saying everyone internalizes their neurodivergence this way is making a gross generalization

and second, what is wrong with being proud of yourself, with finding community with others, with acknowledging that your neurodivergence is an important part of your identity and that you wouldn’t be who you are without it

like why r y'all so adamant on being like “don’t call ableism against the mentally ill ableism call it sanism!” like ur teaching ppl to use a term for specific ableism against specific mentally ill people as a “broad” term when it isn’t

and also….. ur implying ableism against the mentally ill isn’t ableism……… which is um. uncomfortable

We’re upset but our bodies are still shit

Recently I got into a HUGE debate with someone. She said ‘Well tumblr cares about police brutality against anyone even disabled people but why aren’t you guys speaking up about it?’

Because half of us are barely keeping ourselves together for day to day life!! Plus I know personally I’ve reblogged and posted the shit out of COPS abusing disabled folks and people on this site just don’t care unless they are disabled.

There’s a huge disconnect with tumblr and how they view disabilities and the realization that disabled people are assaulted and murdered by the police all the time. On top of that we can’t even ENTER 50% of stores and locations and people regularly ask disturbing personal questions to our faces or tell us we should be euthanized.

I want to fight and rage about it… but you know what? I’m fucking exhausted

3nn0ia asked:

Omg I just looked at your subreddit and my goodness it is the place for me!!! On the topic of "why the colemance fandom is tiring" I have to say that having a space to just ENJOY THE THING instead of having to constantly try and IMPROVE THE THING to whoevers ideal image is a GODSEND

I wholeheartedly agree with you. For me, fandom is a place for innovation, interpretation, and - most importantly - for goofing off. One should never take oneself too seriously.  Be it art as therapy or art as aspiration, I doubt two Colemance headcanons will ever be alike.

I think it’s important to remember: Artists from all walks of life find their initial inspiration in the realm of fandom.  Many of us learn through emulation. Next is deviation. 

For an aspiring artist, fandom is a blessing and a curse. You’ve got a community of people, some of whom may be qualified to offer you insightful critiques about your work. On the other hand, you’re working within a pre-established world. Some people are more flexible than others regarding canon deviations. If you’re a new artist, and you’re sensitive to that - Fandom eats your ass alive. 

No two eyes will ever find the same truth in a work of fiction. No two artists interpret anything the same. 

That being said. Some critics are attempting to regulate societal misconceptions, mostly in literature. I have a healthy respect for that, as well.

Colemance draws a diverse set of minds. The range of interpretations is huge, and within the fandom there is so much volatility - Autism comes up, unique brands of sexuality, countless other things. So many triggers swinging back and forth. People with the best intentions, watchdogging their causes. People with real-life hurts extending far beyond the realm of fandom who cannot stand to see stereotypes perpetuated. People who are already angry, and have a right to be. Things get messy. Fast.

You see then, my hesitation in creating a critique-free zone for Colemance. On one hand, I want aspiring artists with unique points of view to feel safe. On the other hand, if five autistic people point at something and say “This is Ableist,” I’d hope the artist wants to know. I know I’d want to know. 

It’s unfortunate that these exchanges can’t always be civil, however. Blossoming artists are overly sensitive. People championing a cause are driven by the fires of divine justice, as-well-they-should-be.

The real issue then becomes writing/arting outside your realm of experience. Transcending bias, championing diversity. Let’s be real: That’s a lot to ask from a hobby artist who’s just trying to unwind.

And so you look at it, and you’re going-…For fuck’s sake. Can we relax? Can we just look at drawings of Cole and read some smut, please? 

And so, my critique ban remains. On my subreddit of, you know, 40 people. None of whom will ever read this rant. I rest assured that if someone is offended, they’ll find a way to let the artist know without using the little reddit as a forum.

People treat people with mental illness badly because of what they represent. People fear the idea that they are not in complete control of their own minds, and having mental illness is proof that you may not be entirely in control of your mind. So, people hate and fear people with mental illnesses because they don’t want to believe that they, too, may not be entirely in control of their own thoughts.

so a fun thing happened (not)

someone said an ableist thing, about people “not showing emotions” was hurtful to them, guilt tripping a mentally ill person into believing something was wrong with them. i said it was ableist. i get an ask “do you smile or laugh?” which even if they didnt know i was autistic (”autistics dont have emotions” and so on, ableism) is fucking mean and rude to ask someone. 

then i blocked them, so they started to stalk me. they posted everything i said. they invalidated my experience by agreeing with someone who said “dont listen to people who write in caps” with “so true”, they said that they hadnt done anything wrong because it was ~just a question~

they did a lot of uncomfortable and mean and rude things to me. and then they wrote a post on how its so important to put yourself in someone elses shoes. maybe, take that advice yourself. 


anyway, people like this make me fucking sick. its NOT OKAY to keep sstalking and posting things people say when they have BLOCKE YOU. thats a limit, and you’re crossing it.

if someone calls you ableist, maybe back the FUCK OFF and think about why they said something like that. stop pretending like you’re perfect and listen when people say that you hurt them. NO MATTER HOW ANGRY THEY ARE. 


you dont get to decide how people speak to you when you hurt them (also a thing they did, implying i was “too angry” and “irrational”, anyone heard that before? yeah, from every fucking oppressor ever).


i really hope they are not reading this because that would be really fucking gross. bye