Anon: Can you please do one where lance is self-doubting and staying up really late and training? Like he gets really sick from not sleeping. Like can’t keep anything down sick. It’s okay if you don’t want to do or you already did this already. Please and thank you!
Anon: Maybe something where Lance is getting berrated (idk why) and Keith comes to his defense like in intensness or something.
A/N: When I started writing this, I didn’t intend for it to be so dark. Hot damn. Deep shit ahead. Also, I’m horrible at pet-names. I tried to write from 3rd person Keith instead of omniscient so here we go ᕕ(ツ)ᕗ
It was a particularly depressing mission.
The Blue Paladin had to make a near-impossible choice. Surrender Voltron, or surrender a resource-heavy planet and all its inhabitants. Death wasn’t mentioned in either scenario, but it was very heavily implied. In the end, Lance made the choice to save Voltron on the basis that they would save many many other planets by defeating Zarkon in the long run.
But that didn’t mean a whole planet’s worth of deaths wasn’t weighing on his soul.
“So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]
Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.
THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)
They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.
They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go.
So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.
"If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.
They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.
They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them.
“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question.
BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY.
And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.“ -Scout Burns
Me, two days ago: I need to catch up with star wars rebels. Whatever happened with evil guy and furry dude?
Me, right now: If Kallus and Zeb don’t make it out of season 4 and confess their undying love for each other, I’m throwing my diploma at Steve Blum’s face.
Summary - He tells to nobody in particular as to why he is on Earth.
Today, I ‘celebrate’ three hundred years living on this suffer able planet that humans call Earth.
It was alright; obviously better than the place I used to live in - Kronell. The most feared world of all worlds, ruled by the mightiest and the ugliest king, Kimroe.
Why I lived there?
Simple : I had to pay for my sin. Back in my days, as a mortal, which was approximately three hundred and twenty five years ago ( twenty five years spent in Kronell, and the rest three hundred on back on Earth ) I had a beautiful wife.
I didn’t regret a single day spent with her, a lifelong of her love I could live through - I was the happiest man alive. Yet, the higher dignities refused to let me have her for myself.
And, so that’s how my tragic story began; me going wherever I could to somehow contact her, or go to her myself. But, that’s where the dignities found humor. They refused to take my soul, so every
time I tried to end my own life, I would somehow be discovered and be saved.
I despised them; rather, loathed them. I could do nothing. Then, one day, an old lady offers to let me talk to the person I wanted to contact. Apparently, she was one of those women who were considered crazy as they claimed they could contact the dead - but she wasn’t lying.
As soon as I took up her offer - I was more desperate than I already was - I was warned, time and again, not to attempt to contact my beloved deceased wife as then I would have to repent for it, down in Kronell. That was what I considered, what the humans call now - Bullshit. I paid no heed to the dignities as their warning struck me as another attempt at finding humor in my situation. But I was wrong.
The moment I saw the image of my wife forming in front of me, I was already engulfed in flames, and somehow, I landed up in front of the great Kimroe himself. He made me pay for breaking the most important rule of Life and Death - No human was allowed to meddle with the souls of the departed, which I did.
So then, I was made again as the Fallen Angel, like many other sin committers in Kronell with a mark on the back of my neck - An encircled star. The only good part was that we got Wings. I prided my Jet Black ones. But, all of us had one common weakness : Metal. Metals were like scalding hot substances for our skin and wings. We were usually punished with it, by our masters.
We were like slaves, to those already born into this world.
The blood related ( born as a Fallen Angel ) had similar marks as us, on the back of their necks, except, it was in red, to tell them apart. We ( the Sinners ) usually called them the 'Redbloods’.
I served twenty five excruciating years in the world of Kronell and I had had enough. I wanted to leave - and so I did.
I found out that, a Sinner could either repent for their sin until the master ( here, Kimroe ) is satisfied or - although it could be punishable - we could go back to Earth and find a mortal Soul mate.
Now, every Sinner has a mortal Soul mate, and we will know we have found them when we make physical contact with them and our mark burns. Until then, you could just pass by them and you would never know they were your Soul mate. Now here comes the tricky part - Once you have found your Soul mate, you are not immediately revived of your previous life as a Sinner. For you to be completely ridden of sin, your Soul mate, must, on their own, confess their romantic feelings ( if they have any ) towards you. The Sinner must in now way, what so ever, oblige them into doing so.
As I thought of these things, and replayed them in my head, I felt every level of self esteem in me fading away. What if I never found my Soul mate? What if I’d have to return to Kronell and face that ugly guy’s wrath?
But, I’m safe unless somebody decides to come after me.
I stepped in through the door, and walked towards the counter, the cashier giving me a bright smile as she got ready to type in my order.
'What would you like Sir?’ The cashier asked in a cheery voice.
'A medium Latte, please.’ I replied monotonously.
'Anything else?’ She quirked, signalling a worker near her.
'No, that would be all, thank you.’ I said.
'Okay, your name, Sir?’ She asked as she grabbed a cup to write my name on.
This series will be updated every Sunday and Thursday.
Something I realized last night: the only reason Homestuck actually has a plot is because the characters involved are all forced to play using pre-built character sheets; if SBURB/SGRUB had a halfway decent character editor built in, then a party of 3-4 dedicated powergamers could easilly snap the game in half.
Put simply, it’s actually pretty obvious that not all classes and aspects are created equal (no matter what some might say on the matter), and some simply become so utterly gamebreaking once explored that it isn’t even funny. To just give two examples that use nothing but canon information: Seer of Time and Seer of Space.
In canon, Seers are shown to see things and foresee events governed by their aspect. Rose, Seer of Light, is able to know the exact most fortuitous path that the meteor group needs to take, no matter how insane or convoluted that path actually is, and Terezi, Seer of Mind, is able to foresee the results of people’s decisions, possibly to the point of knowing what you will do before you do, and might even have been able to read thoughts if she had God Tiered (as evidenced by her being able to see Brain Ghost Dirk, actually see him, despite being blind at the time).
Meanwhile, Time and Space are the only aspects shown to be mostly literal, albeit with some esoteric connotations, literally governing the fabric of space and time. All Time players are shown to have the ability to time travel (a trick which is outright weaponized by Dave), Aradia is shown to be able to actually stop time for an enemy, and Lord English uses time itself as a weapon, wielding stable timeline loops as both sword and shield. Meanwhile, on the Space side, Jade is able to freely manipulate the mass and volume of objects, able to make a planet small enough to fit in her hand without any change in density, and alternate future Caliope is able to all but rewrite reality, manipulating the physical world in a way which, due to timeline complications in the Farthest Ring, should be impossible.
Combining this knowledge, Seer of Time and Seer of Space get really, really broken. To start with the weaker ability: a Seer of Space would be able to see everything, anywhere, at that exact moment. They wouldn’t exactly be able to foresee things, time being explicitly out of their control, but they would have perfect knowledge of reality at any given moment, making them a mathematical demon. No matter where you ran, they could catch you. No matter where you hid, they could find you. No matter what precautions you took, the only way to get around a Seer of Space would be to exploit either time based shenanigans, or to wield Void powers (something which even the omniscient can’t get around).
Meanwhile, a Seer of Time would be ridiculously, abominably, unstopably insane, able to foresee any and all conequences of everything that might or must happen, along with knowledge of when things must happen for events to unfold. While they themselves might not have any time travel powers (or at least, being so weak with time travel that there’s no real reason to bother), they wouldn’t actually need them, because they already know what the future holds. To give one small example of how insanely broken a Seer of Time would be, they would be able to know the exact moment needed to set off a packet of explosives, the blast from which would cause air turbulence, which would interact with the weather patterns already in existance, which would cause a cascade of unlikely but perfectly timed events to create an EF5 tornado, which would conveniently touch down just before it’s time to fight the Black King.
And this is just parsing canon information; I’d shudder to imagine how some other classpects would be, if fandom speculation is correct. Heir of Hope, assuming that Heir means, “protected by, and responsible for,” and that Hope means, “possibilities, dreams, and that which might be,” would mean that an Heir of Hope would be protected by possibility itself, to the point of trancending luck; all which is and might be would bend over backwards to protect the Heir of Hope, to the point of surrealism. A Prince of Void, using canon info here, would parse as, “one who destroys, or destroys through, that which is hidden or does not exist,” and would mean that a Prince of Void would be able to simply destroy the nonexistance of anything, probably able to create things to a far greater degree than Roxy in canon, who merely steals their nonexistance rather than destroying it. A Lord of Blood, assuming Lord to mean, “one who holds command and dominion,” and Blood to mean, “unity, community, and fraternity,” would parse out as, “one who commands unity,” and that ads up to the literally perfect leader, able to command any disparate group into a single well-oiled machine.
Really, the only reason Homestuck has a plot at all is because the characters shown actually have some pretty shitty classes and aspects. Give me a Seer of Time, a Knight of Space, an Heir of Hope, and a Prince of Void, and the biggest danger would be them arguing with themselves.
Today I am gonna write about another DMT experience I’ve had a while back. It was around 9 pm or something and I had nothing to do so I decided to smoke some DMT. I smoked around 135mg of extracted N N DMT powder and in the moment I exhaled the DMT I already felt the first effects.
It started with a tingling located in my chest, close to my heart which began to take over in waves through my whole body. The tingling got more and more powerful and it felt like the ground I was sitting commenced to dissolve. My heart was racing more and more and the tingling feeling reached my head. I heard strange deep noises and a really loud rushing noise. The visuals also got more and more intensive. I saw psychedelic patterns all over my room and the walls were moving and breathing. The more powerful the tingling and the noises became the crazier my visuals began to be. The patterns were morphing into faces that seemed to be talking because they were moving their mouths. It felt more and more like that the ground and almost everything material was dissolving and then I heard kind of a really loud crack or bang and whoop.
I was falling through my ground faster and faster. I saw lights, colors and patterns moving beside me and everywhere were those faces I saw on my walls. The noises I heard began to sound more like super deep voices and it really felt like these faces were actually trying to communicate with me. The deeper I fell the slower I got until I stood completely still. I was looking around and all I saw was black and moving lights all around me. Theses dancing lights were in the most beautiful colors I’ve ever seen. Colors so exceptionally uncommon that I am pretty sure those colors don’t exist in our world. I really don’t have words to describe this breathtaking moment. It felt like I was enjoying this light-dance for hours and then something amazing happened. The lights got more and more, I was only able to see colors everywhere but they still got more. The more colors I saw the more it became white, which makes sense because white is basically every color at maximum. In the moment my view turned completely into white I heard another crack or bang noise and I was in the DMT-World again. I visited this world two times before that trip and I already wrote a trip report about my first arrival in this world but this time I try to describe it as good as possible.
I was on the shore of a lake with deep azure blue water, on the lake were many huge water plants with purple and red blossoms. Around this lake were big hills completely overgrown with trees or other plants and it looked like a rainbow with all these colored plants. The sky was slightly pink-purple-red and the sun went down. In the sky, I was also able to see other planets and two galaxies. This beautiful sunset and the galaxies were reflecting in the water and it was a really really beautiful light play. Around the shoreline were small buildings and small little creatures were waiting in front of their houses. The buildings were purple-blue and around them were pretty huge plants. It looked like those creatures built their houses in plants. The creatures were as tall as my legs and red-greenish patterned all over their body. The patterns they have all over their body are looking like many toothed wheels. Furthermore, they have big eyes and small elf-looking ears, that’s probably why most people call them Machine or DMT-Elves. I already met those creatures before, so I walked to them. The closer I got the more were the elves dancing and moving. It seemed like they were unbelievable happy to see me again. I reached their little village or whatever it was and they immediately started to dance around me and it sounded like they were singing. I was lying in the extremely green looking grass watching the sunset and around 7-10 DMT-Elves were holding their hands and started to dance in a hand-holding-circle around me. It looked really funny and I enjoyed it a lot. It was such a beautiful, colorful and peaceful place. I forgot all the fuckery we have on our planet, all the destruction that is caused by humans. Suddenly the creatures stopped dancing and one of them spoke to me. I freaked out because he was speaking a god damn language I was able to understand. He said something like: “We are pleased to see you again and we would love to keep you here but sadly… The time has come. You need to go” I answered totally perplexed: “How… How can I stay here?” The creature hesitated for a moment and answered with a really honest voice: “You need to die”.
The dancing lights were appearing again and my view turned white. It lasted a few moments and then the white light wore off and I was able to see my room again. I was still sitting on my ground and almost every DMT-effect was gone. I was extremely disillusioned and I tried to understand what this creature meant with “You need to die”. I thought for hours about it and I came to the conclusion that the only way I am able to live in this world is that my body needs to die. I need to leave my physical cage on earth and free my mind to permanently be in this place.
natgeo Video by @bertiegregory. Leopards are one of the most adaptable animals on the planet, able to live in mountains, savannahs, deserts, jungles and even cities. Part of the key to their success is their amazing ability to disappear. For example, during a leopard assignment for @natgeo and @natgeowild, @stevewinterphoto and I found that most of the people who walked the same trails as leopards in the city parks of Mumbai had no idea the leopards were there! Certain species are able to find a way to live alongside us, we must use aspire to do the same. I filmed this beautiful leopard in Yala National Park, Sri Lanka. Follow @bertiegregory for more wildlife adventures!
He’s sentenced to twenty years in prison, with a chance of parole after fifteen. You don’t feel like it’s enough, but you decide it’s time to move on. You’ve spent too much of your life catering it to him. So, after the sentencing you go home with Damian, and he kind of just holds you for a bit. The rest of the Wayne family surrounds you as well. Of course five minutes in Damian’s brothers start making cracks about your relationship finally happening. After ten minutes of this Damian is chasing them out of the room and you can’t help but smile as Bruce takes his place.
You realize early on, once your relationship has been “formalized” that Damian likes to be touching you. It could be holding your hand, wrapping an arm around your waist, or just you sitting in his lap, but he likes to be touching. You understand it. Neither of you grew up being hugged or loved really, so you take comfort in these innocent little touches.
The first time he calls you beloved, you kind of just freeze. You’ve never been one for pet names, but this one makes you all tingly. This warmth just spreads through you, and since you’re in bed anyway you kind of just snuggle further into his side.
One of Damian’s favorite things to do, is to lay his head in your lap and let you run your fingers through his hair. It calms him down, and sometimes he makes this little purring noise in the back of his throat.
He takes you to the Watch Tower, when the world is danger. You’re herded up there along with other loved ones, and you can’t help but think it isn’t fair; that even if the Earth is destroyed, that you get to live. Despite that fact you’re grateful.
You meet a woman up there, named Dinah. You know she’s Black Canary, you also know that she’s about eight months pregnant. She’s married to Oliver Queen, AKA Green Arrow. She stays with you through the crisis. In a way she keeps you calm.
The League is able to save the planet, and Damian comes for you as soon as he can. The rest of the family is with him, and you can’t help but grin at all of them in their costumes. It reminds you a bit of little boys playing dress up.
Oliver Queen is with them. He’s removed his mask, and you smile as he goes straight to Dinah. One hand immediately goes to the baby bump and you can’t help but think it’s sweet. Then you notice Damian’s eyes have gone wide. And so have the rest of his family’s. You turn to look back at Dinah and Oliver only to see if you missed something, but then you notice that her eyes are wide too. Oliver seems to be the only other one out of the loop.
Then, all of a sudden Tim is pulling you backward, and Oliver forward until you’re standing side by side. There are several expletives, and then you and Oliver are being pulled into the hospital bay for a blood test.
The minute the blood is taken you flee. You had been too stunned by the idea that Oliver Queen might be your father, to reject the procedure. You find Damian easily, and he just seems to know. He takes your hand and the two of you disappear.
You don’t go back to the manor; you go to Hong Kong. You’re not sure why, Damian chose this place, but you like it. It’s different, and you like it. You stay there for two months, before you HAVE to go back. You’ve worked too hard in school to fall behind now.
So, the two of you return home with no fuss. You climb the tree and go through the open window, into the room the two of you share. That night you just show up to dinner. As a result, you get a three-hour lecture about running from your problems, from Bruce. Alfred gives him this disbelieving look during the entire thing.
Several weeks later, Damian is sent on a spur of the moment mission. That’s when you know you’re back to real life. You continue with life as always, which means you go to school and study the entire time. He’s gone. Two days before he’s supposed to come home you come out of the library late at night to find Oliver Queen waiting on you. He’s sitting on a bench, and just seems to know when you step through the doors.
You stop in your tracks for a moment before deciding that you’re done with running. You take a seat on the bench, and he confirms the fact that he is in fact your father, and that he never knew about you. You believe him, his reputation with women is worse than Bruce’s. You don’t ask for details, instead you ask if he wants to get a bite to eat. He eagerly accepts.
You spend the next few hours talking, laying a foundation, for a possible relationship. You doubt that you’ll ever be daddy’s little girl, but there’s a chance for a relationship there. The two of you go your separate ways with each others phone numbers stored in your contacts, and plans to meet up in a week or so.
You return to the manor, but instead of going in through the door, you walk out of the garage and back to that big oak tree. With your back pack firmly secured you shimmy up the tree, and climb through the window. You smile at the sight of Damian lying on the bed waiting for you. Dropping your backpack on the ground, you climb into bed beside him. He greets you with a kiss and a “Hello Beloved.” And you snuggle into his side. You don’t ask why he’s home early, and he doesn’t ask where you’ve been. You both know that you’ve been played.
You just lie there for a few minutes, his fingers going through your hair when he says, “You know, you could have used the door.”
You just smile, “I like windows better, they seem to always lead back to you.”
He kisses you and says, “Then by all means, use the window.”
My dearest Kal-El, our love will always be with you. I can already see you carry within you your father’s independent spirit. – But more importantly, your mother’s never-ending bravery and her compassionate heart.– Quickly, before it’s too late. We may not have been able to save our planet…– … but we are confident you will become Earth’s greatest savior. And never doubt that, just as you are a part of us, we will always be a part of you. Farewell, my son.
Kara, my brave daughter. By now you have become the woman I knew you would grow up to be. And though you were sent to Earth to protect young Kal-El, your destiny is not tied to his. There is no correct path in life. You will lose your way many times. What’s important is that you find your way back to the brave girl you always were. Be wise, be strong and always be true to yourself.
I feel like Lars and the off-color gems are only going to be able to get off planet when the show gets further into the plot of who really killed PD. It makes sense after all - Lars is their only way to get to homeworld.
Steven could take the Crystal Gems through the Lion Zone to Homeworld to steal a gravity drive capable ship and rescue them. Pretty easily. Especially if they were to plan it out with Lars and the off colors ahead of time using Steven as a mediator. And that is something that literally just popped into my head. Give me some time and I can do you a dozen that are even better.
Point is, there is no reason why this plot should not be pursued immediately, just like the stranded Rubies plot. The difference here is that this is Lars, and a bunch of oppressed Gems, not their enemies.