abigail-burdess

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That Mitchell and Webb Look, “Posh Dancing”

Originally aired June 25, 2009. With Robert Webb, Abigail Burdess, and Sarah Hadland.

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For you Pru, I rediscovered this amazing tour de force!  A  parody of Pride and Prejudice from the ‘That Mitchell and Webb Look’ show.  Robert Webb (Mr. Darcy), Abigail Burdess (Miss Bennet), and Sarah Hadland (Miss Bingley).  Be warned profanity ahead!

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Robert Webb reading All Kinds of Trouble, a poem written for him by Abigail Burdess

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The Only Way is Wessex

I’m in all kinds of trouble now,
The kind where you wake up on a train
And everything, everything’s strange
And where am I? And when did the season change?
I must have been asleep.
I’m sure I must be late.
I’m in all kinds of danger.
The stranger on the platform is not a proper stranger.
“You’re here with me,” he says, “isn’t it great?”
And he’s right.
The kind where there’s too much meaning on the edges of sight
Because he might be there.
The kind where you randomly weep.
I’m in deep, deep hot water.
In a boiling hot geyser
In the mists
In the midst
Of ridiculous Icelandic snow.
Y’know,
You should give up the fags and eat fruit,
Because life should last longer, this life should last longer
If someone like him exists.
Everybody. Lock away the razors and save your lovely wrists:
Someone like him exists.
I’m in every single kind of trouble now
The kind where a kind man could write himself a significant part.
I’m in very grave danger
Of a change of heart.
—  - Abigail Burdess, I’m In All Kinds Of Trouble Now
All Kinds of Trouble by Abigail Burdess

I’m in all kinds of trouble now

The kind where you wake up on a train

And everything, everything’s strange

Where am I? And when did the season change?

I must’ve been asleep

I’m sure I must be late

I’m in all kinds of danger

The stranger on the platform is not a proper stranger

“You’re here with me,” he says, “Isn’t it great?”

And he’s right

The kind where there’s too much meaning on the edges of sight

Because he might be there

The kind where you randomly weep

I’m in deep, deep

Hot water

In a boiling hot geyser

In the midst, in the midst of ridiculous Icelandic snow

You know, you should give up the fags and eat fruit

Because life should last longer

This life should last longer

If someone like him exists

Everybody, lock away the razors and save your lovely wrists

Someone like him exists

I’m in every single kind of trouble now

The kind where a kind man could write himself a significant part

I’m in very grave danger

Of a change of heart.

(x)

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Ode to Robert Webb - My Life in Verse - BBC Two (by BBC)

This is absolutely what I needed right now. Robert Webb reads a poem written to him by his then-girlfriend, Abigail Burdess, at the point when they had been dating for three weeks.

I’m in all kinds of trouble now,
The kind where you wake up on a train
And everything, everything’s strange
And where am I? And when did the season change?
I must have been asleep.
I’m sure I must be late.
I’m in all kinds of danger.

The stranger on the platform is not a proper stranger.
“You’re here with me,” he says, “isn’t it great?”
And he’s right.
The kind where there’s too much meaning on the edges of sight
Because he might be there.

The kind where you randomly weep.
I’m in deep, deep hot water.
In a boiling hot geyser
In the mists
In the midst
Of ridiculous Icelandic snow.
Y’know,
You should give up the fags and eat fruit,
Because life should last longer, this life should last longer
If someone like him exists.

Everybody. Lock away the razors and save your lovely wrists:
Someone like him exists.

I’m in every single kind of trouble now
The kind where a kind man could write himself a significant part.

I’m in very grave danger
Of a change of heart.

—  All Kinds of Trouble, Abigail Burdess, 2003
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One of my favourite poems in the world :)