abcs of les mis

hello yes have i mentioned that i love Marius

Thoughts I've had while reading Les Mis:

“Wait, who the fuck is this again?”

“God you’re annoying”

“Honestly, Hugo, shut the fuck up, nobody cares about this”

“Why is there a 200-page rant on this? Is this even important?”

“What was this book about again?”

“Oooh it makes sense now”

“How many more pages are left in this?”

“This better get interesting or I’m burning this”

“More Jean Valjean, please”

“Marius is so fucking annoying”

“Yasss Enjolras is a badass”

“Yas Eponine slay”

“Shut up Cosette, no one likes you”

“Life in the 19th century sounds like a flaming pile of shit”

“Oh shit, just got real”

“This is cray-to-tha-zee”

“Dude, I want to die just like Gavroche did, tbh”

“How in the fuck did Hugo even keep all this shit straight? I can’t even keep all this shit straight and I’m just reading it”

“ENJOLRAS IS DEAD WHAT THE FLIPPITY FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?!?!?!”

“Why in the fuckity fuck am I even reading this now?”

“Jean Valjean better fucking live or I’m rioting”

“How in the fuck do you pronounce Enjolras’ name? I should look that up”

  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Me:</b> *non stop talking about les mis*<p/><b>Friend:</b> Omg, you just don't stop talking about this and your tumblr is 90% this shit. Why don't you just create a fucking tumblr about it?!<p/><b>Me:</b> <p/><b>Friend:</b> <p/><b>Me:</b> *smiles*<p/><b>Friend:</b> DON'T YOU DARE<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

The Les Amis take a trip to vegas and the next morning they find out:

  • Grantaire and Enjolras ended up getting drunkenly married at midnight, after saying I do Enjolras went on a 30 minute rant about how marriage is an outdated constitution
  • Grantaires just like “Tru but you still said i do”
  • Bossuet won the 2 thousand dollar jack pot on the slot machines then lost it all and more in a game of craps
  • Combeferre got hypnotised by a magician and is very jumpy around anybody snapping their fingers
  • Eponine, Jehan, and Courfeyrac somehow ended up in an underground mob game of texas holdem in the casinos basement. They didn’t win any money but made a lot of strange new friends with complicated handshakes
  • Marius tried to get drunkenly married to Cosette but was denied at the reception desk when they realised the two were already married
  • He spent the next hour crying at the bar to anybody who would listen how unfair it was he couldn’t get double married
  • Bahorel got kicked out of the casino half an hour after getting there. He won’t tell anybody why. They group strongly suspect it had something to do with the lively debate he got into with the security guard over juice cleanses
  • Feuilly was determined to watch every show and performance put on by the casino, he was the only witness to Ferre’s hypnosis induced chicken dance
  • Joly spent the night locked in the hotel room with Musichetta getting drunk off the mini bar because he saw a bartender cut the limes without washing his hands first and was convinced he’d contract some form of E. Coli. “YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE HIS HANDS HAVE BEEN CHETTA! HE COULD HAVE JUST POOPED!”
Les Amis Underwear Preferences:

Enjolras: Pays $40 for one pair, no regrets.

Combeferre: Just a regular dude with regular, antifungal, antiperspirant underpants.

Courfeyrac: Sometimes, new pairs magically show up in his room, and he wears them without question. His favorite pair is a hot pink thong with bananas on it.

Jehan: Isn’t really sure how underwear work?? Male department, female department, he doesn’t really pay attention, he just grabs whatever looks pretty.

Grantaire and Feuilly: Both wear the kind bought in packs of 10 at Walmart. Have probably traded boxers by accident by mixing up their laundry. Oh well.

Joly: 2 words: tighty whities.

Bossuet: The Amis once decided to hunt down the strangest, most cringe-worthy underwear in existence and replace Bossuet’s normal underwear drawer with them. Weeks later, they learned that Bossuet had been proudly sporting his new pimped-out underwear and had no plans of asking for his old pairs back.

Bahorel: Ready to hit the gym 24/7. Should probably burn this pair, it smells like a highschool boy’s gym class locker room.

  • marius: had you been there today you might know how it feels to be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight.
  • enjolras: *sighs* ffs
  • marius: had you been there today you might also have known how your world may be changed in just one burst of light and what was right seems wrong and what was wrong seems right.
  • grantaire: red
  • enjolras: fuck no bitch