The Signs as Middle-Aged White Moms

Aries: Jennifer // Super aggressive soccer-mom who always wears neon-colored tracksuites // Tries super hard to be the mom everybody likes // “That bitch Carol thinks her snicker-doodles are the best? Well she’s got another thing coming

Taurus: Barbara // All her instagram posts involve her watching Real Housewives with a glass of wine // Does not know how to properly use emojis and abbrevations when they text // “I’m not saying I’m always right, but you sure as hell aren’t either, Courtney" 

 Gemini: Bridgette // Won prom-queen when she was in highschool and won’t let anyone forget it // Really surprised and dismayed her sugar daddy 90-y/o husband hasn’t died yet // "I could buy all the counterfeit bags on the streets of New York and they still wouldn’t be as fake as you are, Jennifer”

Cancer: Beatrice // Cries after every time she watches Dirty Dancing // Attempts offering her new neighbors shitty homemade cookies // “Oh son, don’t hang out with Barbara’s kids you’ll end up a druggy”

Leo: Patricia // Sour as hell since 6th grade when she got 2nd place to Bridgette in a beauty pageant // Will walk into a Spanish restaurant and say “Bonjour, Bitches” // “Listen up honey, you better step up your dick game or I’m cheating on you with Veronica’s husband, Chad”

Virgo: Alice // Hosts ‘Vegan Wednesdays’ in her house // Has a ‘world’s best mom’ bumper sticker on her mini-van // “Oh hey Kids!  You know I’m the HIP mom who whips fleeks with the nae naes :)”

Libra:  Stephanie // Calls for her child from her room to fetch her something that’s literally right next to her // Hot Single mom who has like 12 sugar daddies on speed dial // “It’s Stephanie, pronounced as in Gwen Stefani”

Scorpio: Veronica // Forces their child to start playing the piano or violin by 3 // Has an emotional breakdown, absolutely confused as to why their child doesn’t tell them anything (when every time they do, she lectures them) // “I just don’t understand where i went wrong, how could his GPA sink from a 4.6 to a 4.57?”

Sagittarius: Caitlyn // Constantly reminds people that it’s “Caitlyn with a C” // Constantly wears Prada and Dolce & Gabbana to remind everyone she has more money than them // “I don’t give a fuck about what Alice thinks, she probably hasn’t had sex in such a long time cobwebs have formed in her vagina”

Capricorn: Courtney // The one who, instead of naming her child “Michaela”, names her “Michkaeighlaugh” instead // Adamantly believes that weed is still a drug // “I don’t care what Caitlyn is saying!  More than a ½ teaspoon of salt and this chicken will just be too spicy”

Aquarius:  Vicky // For some odd reason stopped aging after 25 // Super into witchcraft and tarot reading and astrology, uses it as a way to justify everything // “Wow my child’s being such an ass because apparently I’m ‘relating everything to astrology’.  Typical Capricorn Moon in 27 degrees to be a skeptic” 

Pisces: Tiffany // Impulse buyer and big spender, will “accidentally” spend 500$ in a single sitting // has a “Treat Yo-Self” day for doing the absolute bare minimum // “I only have money for either buying food for my kids or this really cute jacket … it’s ok they can starve for the week”

anonymous asked:

Omg I just noticed that the abbrevation for the conpanion fic obs&bh would stand for tampons&bras in german 😂 ... Just wanted to let you know that - finally something not utterly shattering about the companion fic

oh my god I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or completely change the name of the companion fic! Why do these things happen to me??? 。゚(TヮT)゚。

Alternatively maybe it’s weirdly appropriate because everyone in this series seems to either be in pain or need support or both 

do you gravitate toward ppl who text using full word construction and not abbrevs, are you liking a lot of punctuation usage
do the ppl you tall to leave a lot of spaces or pause a lot or send multiple short worded texts
what feel of a text comforts u
and do u trust them

Imagine Chanyeol mistakenly thinking “istg” means “instagram.” He loves his Instagram and ends up writing the abbreviation at the end of each post as a sort of signature sign-off because it makes him feel cool. He doesn’t forget to add his favourite phrase, as well: “wtf” because he believes firmly in the message of “working that face.”

He receives an email just a few days later from Choi Siwon telling him not to forsake God’s sacred name and to please pray. Complete with Siwon’s personally-picked religious links and everything. Chanyeol appreciates Siwon’s concern but he’s still confused why he got the email in the first place. He replies with a “stfu” because he’s too lazy to write full-out “super thanks, friendly unicorn” (the highest of praises in his and Yixing’s dictionary).

He’s even more confused when he receives a box full of rosaries the next morning and a message that Siwon would be arriving within the hour with a prayerbook.

anonymous asked:

Ok, but i'm agender and when i was not really sure about whether or not I was sure I genuinely thought about how i I said I was heterosexual it could also mean I was poly and i thought about it for a lot longer than i'd like to admit

Poly as in polysexual. I could have said pan too. Ugh, sorry for bothering you

yeah i feel 

also fyi, i have heard that it is good to use the abbrevation ply for polysexual because “poly” is most commonly used as an abbrevation for Polynesian 

stickid  asked:

WHO IS TED. tell me about ted. what's he like. does he have stories to tell.

[ This is Ted. ( Do me a favor and do not flip the image. (`: )

His full name is Theodore Antoni Costas, but he very much prefers the abbrevation. His mother is from Greece, his father from Britain, hence the mixed up name. He was born in Britan, too, but often visits his family in Greece ━━━ with his family ( a big sister and a little brother ).

He visited the same school as Gaster, and as it so happened, the latter skipped a grade and entered Ted´s class; their friendship wasn´t anything particularly oustanding at first, but they did gradually grow closer until they were best friends through thick and thin.  

 Ted´s not the smartest guy there is, but he´s smart enough ( he doesn´t understand half of what scientific and mathematical interests and activities Gaster pursues and is not afraid to admit that, but he´ll happily listen to his ramblings and admire his work, apply himself as good as he can while not attempting to be something he´s not. He knows his boundaries and that´s okay.

He greatly values family and friends, indulges in stereotypical gatherings of such circles ( parties, bonfire evenings ) and introduced his friend to all of them, more or less profoundly. 

 Photography is one of his big passions ━━━ he likes to capture animals and people, especially, innocent and honest scenes. Another two would be playing the guitar and hiking.

Does he have stories to tell?

You have no idea.  

He´s the one who´s shown Gaster around the world, or rather, all the places two young graduates could possibly reach; his mother´s hometown in all its detail, of course, then Greece as a whole. France. The rocky mountains. Several seas. ( I even sketched a few snippets of their journeys, god help me.

 It is incredibly important to realize just how much humanity he´s introduced Gaster to, mostly indirectly ━━━ he offers a procligious amount of honesty in every aspect, possibilities are stretching wide at the feet of his candid, jovial simplicity. and just as important to note how greedily Gaster absorbs it all ( mostly unknowingly; silent exchanges )

There´s too much to list all the things crowding my head, I´d loose direction; I kindly invite you to inquire specific subjects. That´d be wonderful. Only if you want, of course, as always. ]

smartchicken  asked:



Also I think it was K/S.

Guide: Japanese MH YouTube Videos

Sure, the Japanese community, likely from strict laws, do not have the same uploading culture as the West. However there is a rich community of MH players who upload videos!

The best way to get better in MH is to watch pro players. Learning their strategies, seeing how they approach each monster, etc. can be invaluable reference. This guide is to provide you with the Japanese words you need so that you can paste them into YouTube and find great videos to watch.

A special shoutout to YouTube user BadAssBlackOverloard ( who takes some of the greatest videos on NicoNico (a site lots of Japanese players like to upload to) and publishes them on YouTube, usually with nice commentary in the comments.

Format of the search:

[game title] [weapon] [monster/quest name] [keywords] [rank] [time]

So (translated) you will see stuff like: “MH3G (Bow) Gold Rathian Solo 5m Needle”.

Most of these are optional so you can do more simple searches like “MH4 Gunlance Solo” if you like.


Game Title:

Remember we call it MH3G and MH4G, not “U”


  • GS: 大剣
  • LS:  太刀
  • SNS:  片手剣
  • DS:  双剣
  • Lance: ランス
  • GL: ガンランス (sometimes abbrev. to ガンス)
  • Hammer: ハンマー
  • Horn:  笛
  • Insect Glaive: 操虫根
  • SA:スラッシュアックス (sometime abbrev. to スラアク)
  • CB:  チャージアックス (sometimes abbr. to チャアク or 盾斧)
  • Bow: 弓
  • LBG: ライトボウガン
  • HBG:  ヘビーボウガン

*Note that some weapons like SA do not get a lot of upload love

Monster/Quest Names:

Look them up. Sorry there are too many to list. Just add 亜種 to a monster name for the subspecies or 希少種 for rare species.


  • Solo: ソロ (opposite is 2P, 3P, 4P)
  • Guild Quest: ギルドクエスト
  • Arena: 闘技場
  • With Guid Quest weapon: 発掘 (you can append this to weapon name)
  • Without Guild Quest weapon: 非発掘 or 生産 (you can append this to weapon name so a video with a non-guild quest LS is 生産太刀)
  • Heroics: 火事場力 (no-damage runs, some people opt not to see these as they cannot reproduce them/require very specific sets)
  • Felyne Heroics: ネコ火事場力 (see above)
  • Non-Heroics: 非火事場 (sometimes people specifically specify this when they get an insanely good time, without heroics)
  • Time attack: TA (most are TA anyway though)


  • Low rank: 下位
  • High rank: 上位
  • G rank: G級
  • LV100: LV100 (same!)


  • Minute: 分 (add after a number. See a video of a hunt in 5min by adding “5分” to the end)
  • Needle: 針 (add after minute, so “5分針” for 5-minute needle on the clock)


MH4 ランス アマヂュラ 5分針” for a MH4 hunt with Lance, fighting Dara Amadula and killing it in under 10 min. Yes, there are a few videos of genius players who have figured out how to do this!

MH4 片手剣 ソロ LV100” for MH4 videos with SNS that are solo LV100 guild quests.

Final Thoughts

I can update this list if there is something missing so let me know in the comments!

Happy Hunting!

remyzaken: Look what I just found in my room at my parent’s house 🎤 #spring awakening

“Rems! Totes loves you since days ones when we started abbrevs. You are such a rockstar performer and an amazing performer person. I love you so much - Groffs”

“Rems - Oh my god, oh my god… God Remy! Let me go on top!!! I love you, you little bitch!!! You’re so sweet and so talented!!! We’ll have many sleepovers on BROADWAY!!!! - ♡ Lea Michele”

[150425] Park Sohyun's Love Game Part 11
  • DJ: I'm wondering, since you're the mathyung, have you ever felt behind the times? Especially with members like Sehun or Kai.
  • Xiumin: Uh... Well there is one thing that makes me feel that way. That... when you talk, it's called abbreviations, isn't it? Yes, that. Sometimes when they use words like that there are times I don't understand what they're talking about.
  • DJ: HAHAHA what, no way!
  • Guest: Xiumin is still young too! Maybe you're just not hearing them right?
  • Xiumin: There's that too, but I feel like I do live in a way that makes me behind the times.
  • DJ: Really???
  • Guest: But you know what things like Um-Ka* means, right?
  • Xiumin: Huh? ...I know what M-Ka means? (t/n: He's talking about the abbrev for M Countdown)
  • (DJ & Guest going crazy because they can't believe he doesn't know what that is)
  • DJ: OH MY GOSH Xiumiiiiin, fans please send him all the abbreviations you know!
  • Xiumin: Um, what does Um-Ka mean?
  • DJ & Guest: Oh my gosh are you serious right now oh my god
  • Guest: Actually no, the fact that you don't use abbreviations makes you more cool.
  • DJ: That's true, it's actually not a good thing to use those words.
  • Xiumin: Can I try to guess what it means?
  • DJ & Guest: Yes yes please do
  • Xiumin: Um-ka... (small voice) Umma Kawaii? (t/n: "Mom's cute") Is it something like that?
  • DJ & Guest: Kyaaaaa Umma Kawaiiiii~~~
  • (everyone laughs)
  • Xiumin: What is it actually?
  • DJ: When you don't have money and someone asks you 'how did you buy this' you say 'Um-ka', as in 'Mom's credit card'.
  • Xiumin: Oooh! Mom's credit card! I see...
  • *t/n: To clarify, Um-ka = Umma Card = Mom's credit card. Xiumin thought the 'ka' was for 'kawaii' which is cute in Japanese.

Guys, guys, guys I can’t breathe omg so

We have a website through which we submit our timesheets at work, and I’ve seen them use the abbrev. “ERP” before (Enterprise Resource Planning) but as a decades-long MMO player…. that’s not what it means when I see it. (Come on, everybody’s been subjected to a General Chat at least once in their lives, right?)

This is the front page today:

I can’t even any more.