abbie ills

hey friends! I’ve never seen anything like this in the studyblr community, and as someone who fought through 4 different high schools with a debilitating chronic illness, I definitely could have used a resource like this 4 years ago. I don’t know how many people this applies to, but if I helps even one person, I’m happy. The rest of the post is under the cut, and please message me if you have any questions - personal or otherwise :)

important note: i realize that everyone’s illness manifests differently, and that not everyone can manage the suggestions below. everyone experiences illness differently, even those with the same diagnosis. take what you can from this, and remember that as shitty as it is, no one is going to help you if you aren’t willing to ask for help, and try even a little bit. if you have a chronic illness and are here, I am so proud of you and you are so strong. keep fighting. 

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@deathmeowtal  🎩: draw a character in fancy wear

I did both because I honestly couldn’t decide. Abby looks A+++ in a suit so that was an easy decision, but demon Pickles was kinda hard and, in the end, I decided he was sewn into the damn thing. Just given a shirt and jacket with an open back and someone honestly sewed him into it. Because wings aren’t fun for anyone.

Used reference for both, just random Pinterest searches. Honestly, if you search “women in suits” and “men’s fashion” you’ll find em.  

((Hi, Abbi here - I thought I should maybe explain why I’ve been avoiding this blog and why I can’t guarantee I will draw any responses any time soon. Under the cut because it’s personal and illness related? but you certainly don’t have to read it, TLDR some close family is very sick and I’m not in an emotional place where I can draw for this blog right now

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  • <p> <b>kate mckinnon:</b> *breathes*<p/><b>me:</b> 💝💛💝💛💖💙💝💛💞💞💜💚💟💓💜💖❤️💚💕💝💙💚💘💕💖💛💗❤️💝💙💘💚💖💖💛❤️💚💓💙💞💖💗❤️💙💜💚💟💞💘💛💜<p/></p>
Abby's Illness, Abby's next steps

TL;DR we might get Darth Abby next season. Reasoning is below.

Part 1: Abby’s gift from ALIE

When Raven and Abby were forcibly removed from the COL, a piece of ALIE’s code was left behind. We watched Raven’s journey with this last season, and a little bit in the season prior. What ALIE left behind in Raven were entirely new abilities and knowledge. Raven was given the gift of coding abilities she did not previously possess and scientific prowess far outside her scope of work as a mechanic. We also saw that these gifts were destroying Raven’s mind.

I believe that it is no coincidence that Raven’s gifts from ALIE were related to ways in which ALIE changed Raven in order to use Raven.

Raven puts ALIE into Arkadia’s programming to search for ALIE2. When freeing the backpack, Raven is used by ALIE to help crack passwords. ALIE gave Raven knowledge programming knowledge beyond any sort of training received by Raven (compare to Raven who is working on an ‘analog solution’ in 3x03) so that ALIE could achieve her goals. ALIE changed Raven’s ability to code.

So what was Abby’s gift?

ALIE used Abby to get access to information. She leveraged Abby’s knowledge of people’s relationships to get this information (e.g. seducing Kane, or suggesting Bellamy be tortured to make Clarke confess). When Abby was not successful, ALIE would make Abby double down and chase these things with even more remorseless vigor. (e.g. getting even more up trying to seduce Kane, hanging herself to get Clarke to confess). 

All of these actions were supremely out of character for Abby. Remember, Abby does not like negative making trade-offs for gain. We see this when she is dealing with the decisions around what to do about finding the kids in Season 2 (she stalls, she tries to find another way, she says no frequently). We also see this when Abby is sickened by Clarke’s decision to let a grounder town be bombed when they could have stopped it. The Abby we know would have pleaded and “found another way” instead of torturing Clarke to get a hold of the Flame. ALIE changed Abby’s moral code. By doing this ALIE turned Abby into a manipulator.

Part 2: Did Abby use her gift in Season 4? Yes.

The example that jumps out to me (and when I started to concoct this theory) is when Abby uses the radiation treatment drugs on Luna and company. Abby is denied access by Raven, but states her case anyways while John Murphy listens around the corner. Later Murphy finds Abby to give her the medicine. It’s after this we get this exchange:

Jackson: “Who knew [Murphy] had it in him”

Abby, without hesitation: “I did.”

After that we get the Becca’s Lab incidents too. Abby saying we can “find our humanity again” later, and doing whatever is possible to find the nightblood solution. The actions S4 Abby took in Becca’s Lab would make S1 Abby sick - such as torturing/murdering people who are not her own daughter. (Recall again, Abby opposed torturing the prisoner from Mount Weather for information that could save their people).

The one incident in S4 where Abby finally breaks from this new moral code is when she destroys the human test chamber after Clarke volunteers to get inside it to see if the nightblood syrum has worked. Is the reasons this is so over the top because Abby is fighting back against the poor moral code ALIE has put inside her?  It seems that Clarke is the limit for whatever ALIE has done to Abby.

Part 3: Breaking down and resistance

Raven’s gift is really easy to point at because it’s hard technical skills. Abby’s is harder to point at because it was more of the soft skills variety. In S4 we see Raven start to have seizures but Abby doesn’t. Why is this?

ALIE downloaded new information into Raven’s brain, whereas ALIE only had to change what was already there for Abby. This foreign information that did not belong is likely what was being attacked and caused Raven to have issues that Abby did not. Or maybe it’s just a matter of time and Abby will start to have seizures a month into Bunkerkru but that’s no fun.

Although they differ in having seizures, Raven and Abby are similar in that they are driven to bizarre suicidal impulses. 

It’s the projections of ALIE that convince Raven that the only way to be free is to go to space and space walk and let her brain wither away to nothingness.

It seemed very strange to see Abby be told the cure to her problem, and then volunteer to be left outside to die by the hands of the radiation. What if this is ALIE again?

Part 4: Speculation for season 5

If you accept the above, the next question has to be: will Abby cure herself off-screen?

I feel like the answer is no, and I think the reason it’s a no is the same reason Abby tried to have herself killed instead of doing the treatment. ALIE is still a large corrupting influence inside of her.

So now consider for season 5: we have six years of this corruption building inside of Abby. Because of her background she has always had access to power and privilege. This ruthless Abby will be coaching Octavia on decisions she should and should not make so that they can survive in the Bunker. It seemed before that the only limit Abby had was Clarke - but Clarke is gone now. 

In some ways, I imagine that Abby and Kane will switch roles for S5 in comparison to S1. We will have Kane trying to circumvent the rules to save people and deliver the truth to everyone, while Abby will be increasingly hard on Kane for doing this.

Part 5: Crack speculation for season 5

With the religious themes we already see coming for next season (the garden of Eden, the second coming of the space people, cults and their impact), I think about how Raven and Abby both had visions in Season 4. What if Abby continues having visions? Will Abby be elevated to some sort of ‘Oracle’ status? (I doubt it, but it was too out-there not to suggest)

This is all of course a theory! Is this on the right track? Would love to hear what others thoughts are on what Abby’s gift from ALIE was and if they think it will be resolved before next season.

(Tagging @tracylorde because I hinted about this meta to her previously  )

okay so i have SO MANY yatesmann headcanons, i’m gonna list just a few that i have bc this is definitely not all of them 

  • erin and patty don’t always understand abby and holtz’s relationship. like their secret handshakes (yes, there are more than one), and the way they can understand each other’s gibberish and nonsense talk when no one else has any idea what they’re talking about.
  • half the time they know what the other is thinking, they’ll say the same thing at the same time at least once or twice a day. sometimes more. 
  • it confuses erin and scares patty. 

  • sometimes when/if they disagree on something, they can get into really passionate arguments. 
  • kevin and erin will watch the arguments. with popcorn. 
  • patty tries to be the peacekeeper, she asks kevin and erin to help her, but they just shrug and continue eating their popcorn. eventually patty gives up and joins them.
  • once the argument comes to an end they make up, and this happens at least once a month. 
  • some of the things they argue about consist of: holtz wanting to watch ghost jumpers and abby refusing to let them get the view from them. holtz and kevin secretly watch it together when abby is busy or out somewhere. 

  • abby and holtz will both stay up until the middle of the night talking and working on things. erin and patty have to literally drag them to bed at least twice a week.
  • holtz turns into an actual protective parent when it comes to abby. over the other girls as well, but not as much as abby. she could (and would) probably kill someone to protect her. 
  • when holtz is sick abby turns into an actual mom. she’ll drop everything (literally) to care for holtz and make sure she has everything she wants and/or needs. 
  • abby gets jealous easily. sometimes erin and holtz can talk kind of flirtatiously, abby will intervene into the middle of the conversation. she’ll stand right in the middle of them without hesitation. 
Remember that day


Wally blinked and looked back towards Abby. The girl was occupied counting on her fingers and musing over the question. The longer she took to produce an answer, the more the two began to sweat.


Abby ran her hands under her hat, fingers picking wildly at her hair. Seeing that his friend was no closer to the solution, Wally gulped and gazed up the length of the ancient statue. 

They were out of time.

“Uh, well,” he slowly said, catching both Abby and the statue’s attention, “that day would be…um, my…birthday?”

Abby blinked.

Wally smiled nervously.

The statue was silent.

And then, “Your birthday is Thursday?”

Wally’s eyes darted side to side as a bead of sweat trickled down his cheek. “Yes?”

“…How on Earth did you know the ans—oh, I-I mean, YOU HAVE ANSWERED CORRECTLY, BOY! YOU MAY PROCEED!”  

The statue rumbled as it moved aside, and Wally collapsed on his bum out of pure relief. He wiped at his brow only to jump as Abby ruffled his hair from behind. The girl gave him a smile as she helped him up, and then the two continued further into the catacombs.