My boyfriend is going away at the end of summer for schooling 6 hours away so he won't be able to visit very much I have some gifts I'm planing and making for him but I don't know how to handle the thought of him leaving for so long as I have abandonment issues even though I'll move in with him as soon as July next year I'm still nervous about this (public answer is okay)
Long distance relationships can be hard, I’m not going to lie to you.
I’m in a long distance relationship and I have BPD so it’s super tricky, though we don’t have any set date for meeting yet.. which sucks.
Try to Skype often. Seriously, it helps. Even if you don’t know what to talk about, or you’ve got work to do and you’re too busy to properly chat, just hanging out and being able to see and hear each other is nice.
Update each other when you can about how things are going in your day to day life. You might think something like “I’m drinking a really nice hot chocolate” is kind of unimportant and not worth telling, but honestly, that kind of thing (maybe with a picture too??) really helps you feel like you’re still “with them” in a sense, living their live along with them every day even though there’s a distance between you.
Mail!! Mail is nice every so often. Little gifts, letters, maybe plushies that smell like them really boosts the mood. I have a lot of emotional impermanence so physical items can really, really help.
Get involved with other things. Maybe if you find a fun hobby to take up your time you can show them how good you’ve gotten with it when you get together again! I’m sure they’ll be really proud of you
I found this post for people with DPD/BPD on my personal blog from my own references. It helped me when my boyfriend went on holiday so our communication was severely reduced.
Remember that it’s okay to feel awful. It’s okay to cry, to get frustrated, to feel hopeless.
The important part is getting back up, brushing yourself off, and accepting things you can’t change. Check out radical acceptance techniques if it helps. (x) (x)
Good luck!! ♡
- Solar the Sea Turtle