abandon all shame

  • Jack Morrison:
  • Tracer: Hey, c'mon! Let’s turn that frown upside down! Once you’ve got your comedic talents up to snuff, nothing will stand in your way! OK, let’s get started! First, imagine we’re in another strategy meeting and someone says, “Hold it!” What would you say? Remember, answer with humor.
  • Jack Morrison: I’d say… “Hold what?”
  • Tracer: Not quite… You should say something more like, “Hold it? But my hands are full!” Did you get it? It’s funny because they don’t mean “hold” like that! Get it? Do you get it? Tell me you get it.
  • Jack Morrison: Do people really find these things funny?
  • Tracer: Hey, who’s the comedy teacher here? I said it’s funny, so it’s funny, right? Anyway, you say that and everyone will see that you’re human too. You’ll charm the whole room!
  • Jack: I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.
  • ~~~~~
  • Tracer: Hey, Commander! How goes your humor practice? Have you tried to tell any jokes to anyone?
  • Jack Morrison: Yes. I tried your joke about being unable to hold things with the soldiers in the barracks.
  • Tracer: Really? That’s great! How did it go?
  • Jack Morrison: Terribly.
  • Tracer: Huh?
  • Jack Morrison: I abandoned all shame and said it exactly as you told me to, gestures and all. But then everyone got quiet and Ana looked extremely concerned. Winston and Genji ran off to find a healer. Angela was crying and saying something about my poor head.
  • submitted by disdun
Dracoskull Plot Bunny 2

Thank the ever glorious @squirrellygirlart for this.

-It’s been five years that Marinette and Adrien have been heroes, and neither are closer to their ultimate couple goals.
-Marinette has been so focused on Adrien and school that she’s spurned Chat on every advancement.
-In the same token, Adrien’s been so set on Ladybug that he’s blinded himself to Marinette’s attempts to drop hints.
-So anyways, Marinette’s been working part time with her parent’s bakery when they start a remodel to update the bakery and their home.
-they plan it right before they need to go to China to visit family for a few weeks in the fall.
- well, the first contractor they hired kinda screws them over and fudges up everything. Like, EVERYTHING
-it’s so bad that they had to fire him. 
-and now Tom and Sabine need to make the trip to China, with an unfinished renovation.
-Marinette is distraught, her parents bakery is in shambles because some cluts of a contractor fudged up everything.
-Adrien catches wind from his Brosef Nino, who got an earful on it from the overprotective Alya, who of course got it from Marinette.
-And sunshine child simply cannot stand by. Marinette is his friend after all, and he’ll be a fool if he ever allows this to stand!
-So, with the wealth amassed from years of illegal child labor- er i mean modelling, Adrien contacts the Dupain-Chengs and coordinates with them to spearhead the remodel himself, because what fool would DARE to try and dup THE Adrien Agreste.
-So Sabine excitedly tells Marinette they’re getting a new contractor, but kinda forgets to mention it’s her old school friend and crush, since she’s running late for her plane anyways.
-Marinette and ALya are waiting inside the bakery, waiting for the ‘contractor’ to show up, and she makes an offhand comment to Alya. “I really hope the new contractor doesn’t screw me like last time.”
-And on queue, Adrien in all his model enhanced glory, walks through the front door.

-Now, lets be real for a moment. Ladybug has been working with Chat Noir for 5 years now.
-Five years she’s been putting up with his puns
-one year they’d already started rubbing off on her.
-By two years, she’d started making puns back at him in response.
-Four years and she started just auto-spewing puns in his presence.
-Five years and they just started bleeding out into her normal life.

-She’ll crack a pun on just about anything without meaning too, and has on a multitude of occasions ruined herself

-So, Marinette freezes for a moment, then the first thought in her head comes tumbling out of her mouth. “That’s the new contractor? Please screw me…”
-Alya slaps her hand to her mouth as laughter threatens to choke her out.
-Adrien hears it, and turns tomato red as he tries to understand WHAT Marinette, sweet innocent Marinette, just said. 
-Marinette has yet to ever slip in Adrien’s presence, as she’d die of mortification if he ever heard her.
-And he just heard her.


-So begins a long, convoluted story, where Mari quickly realizes Adrien gets incredibly flustered by puns and pickup lines aimed at him, and after Chat tells her “If he gets that flustered when you make a pun, see if he reacts the same way to a friend. If he doesn’t, he’s open to you. you should /totally/ go for it.” She decides to try.

-Naturally, when Alya makes the joke ‘I don’t need a Stud Finder, i already found you.’ Adrien just laughs and says ‘good one’. 
-but when Marinette slides out “I have something else in here you can nail” by accident and watches as Adrien chokes on nothing at all before stuttering like a fool, she decides to abandon all shame and dive into this head on.
-Queue an entire fic of nothing but bad pickup lines and construction puns that rattle harder than a Jackhammer, and you have the story of how Adrien realized he has a crush on Marinette, and Marinette realizes that a certain black cat had the right idea to serenade his lady with puns.