So allrightfine and stoprobbers both tagged me in a fic meme – to list my favorite fics that I’ve written. Which makes me go all awkward-turtle, because I am terrible at talking about myself. So here, witness me awkward-turtling everywhere, from most favorite on down:
1) Gallifrey Records (co-written with the incomparable allrightfine) - Ten/Rose AU - That time the Doctor was a rock star, and Rose was his opening act. So it’s not just one story, is a 250,000+ word behemoth, but it’s hands-down the thing I’m most proud of in terms of my fandom contributions.
2) Skimming Stones - TenToo/Rose - For Rose and the metacrisis Doctor in Pete’s Universe, timelines don’t always run parallel.
3) Chimera - TenToo/Rose - “I’m only trying to be helpful, honestly,” Rose says. “Because if you’re holding me prisoner here, that means there’s this bloke coming to get me. And he’s been diagnosed with a problem – a condition. A blood and anger and revenge kind of condition. He’s not exactly in remission yet. When he shows up, there might be a bit of bloodshed, and I think we’d all rather avoid that.”
4) Hair Porn - Ten/Rose and TenToo/Rose - Does what it says on the tin. Graphic descriptions of Rose Tyler’s interaction with the Tenth Doctor’s glorious hair.
5) Words - Nine/Rose and Ten/Rose - One of the shortest things I’ve ever written, but one of my favorites.
I started this meme thinking it would be hard to scrape together five things I’ve written, but there’s way more than I remembered? And I don’t even recall writing half of those things? How long have I even been on tumblr doing this?
It also made me really tally up all the wips I’ve abandoned – I’ve turned into the fic writer my early-DW-loving self swore I’d never be. I should’ve left fandom at the top of my fic-writing game, instead I’ve lived long enough to see myself become the villain lmao.
Yes, I have reached another milestone. 1,309 followers!!! I don’t know where you guys came from but thank you for joining my madness and staying so far!! I’ve been loving my fandoms and getting to share that with you all, my writing and edits, so I love it when its appreciated!. To celebrate my current milestone, I’ll be doing another follower forever. Look at these people and follow them if you haven’t yet.
These few bolded are the amazing people who I adore and consider my friends:
During our 8-hour car ride today, at one point I asked my kids if they wanted to stop for a snack. They both said “YES!” at the same time. Then my 5-year-old daughter turns to my son and gleefully cries, “Jinx! You owe me some bacon!”
A lot of time with Moffat’s stuff, I feel like all the character are talking with the same voice, HIS voice. He’s got his one self-insert moffat and a chorus of moffat-juniors setting up witty wordplay serves for the main chararacter to return.
Yeah, definitely. It’s why I don’t “get” his dialogue, really. It’s all one voice and that voice is one I don’t really enjoy or understand most of the time. I think his background in sitcom-writing really, really shows.
Dear Jamie, I try and try to foster my own gaggle of batshit crazy anons, but to no avail. I put out frootloops, built tiny wee madhouses, compare body parts to symbol sets, but nothing seems to work! What is the secret to your amazing success?
Oh man, it’s gonna be a really tough project, you’re gonna have to use your head, your brain, and your mind, too.
BOOM THAT WAS YOUR FIRST LESSON AND I BET YOU DIDN’T EVEN CATCH IT. That was a School of Rock quote. You have to present the opportunities for anons to come at you. What I should’ve done is screw the quote up. Who knows? Maybe I did! If I did, I’m sure someone will tell me!
OH MAN MR. MIYAGI’D THIS SHIT RIGHT FROM THE FUCKING ONSET.
Your second lesson is to vaguely insult teenagers. Don’t ever say it directly, just edge around it. I mean, here alone, the implication that it’s teenagers that are the anons is probably enough to get me started, but that’s some Inception-level shit. We need to work you up to that.
The third lesson is to seem cool. You don’t have to be cool, I’m not cool, but you have to seem cool, because people want to prove that they’re cooler than cool people. If there were a tiny runt dog, drenched in rain, even though it’s not raining, by the side of the road, would you want to tell that dog that his collar looks stupid? No, you wouldn’t. Now imagine a different dog in Ray-Ban sunglasses, and an Islands t-shirt (the band, not the land mass), and Chuck Taylor’s he painted himself in his garage-turned-studio. Don’t you want to knock that dog down a peg? I bet you do. Out of curiosity, did you picture a Corgi? I pictured a Corgi.
The fourth lesson is to get things a little bit sexy. People let their guards down when things are a little bit sexy. They want to tell you things, or they want to yell you things, and really, everyone’s just feeling a lot freer. You gotta loosen ‘em up, there are no inhibitions on your blog, your blog is Pleasure Island, and you know what people do on Pleasure Island? THEY MOUTH THE FUCK OFF.
The fifth lesson is to write tags literally without paying attention to anything, so that when people try to hold you accountable for something, you basically don’t even remember saying it. Let’s practice. Let’s say you have a photo of David Tennant doing…something. He’s eating, sure, let’s say he’s eating. What would you tag that post with? #david tennant #tennant #tenth doctor (depending on his outfit) #food porn, maybe?
WRONG. What you need to do is tell a completely unrelated story, but use your lessons. Let’s walk through them one more time: get something wrong, vaguely insult teenagers, seem cool, get sexy.
Okay, ready? So now you can start.
Tell a story about how one time when you were seeing Return of the Jedi in the theatres when it came out for the very first time ever — in what, and you remember this vividly, was definitely 1997 — and you were just trying to buy some popcorn and this girl kept crying behind the concessions counter, and frankly you did not know or care why she was crying, I mean, what’s her biggest problem? That her $1,200 couture prom dress doesn’t fit? Snoresville, you want your popcorn, and also you have real problems, and she has fake ones, so. Finally you get your popcorn, and you head back to the theatre, and you run into some friends that you used to design rocket ship prototypes with, only their flight paths were determined by the drum beats in Arcade Fire songs, and one in particular, this dude with a terrific head of hair, and hipbones for days, you’d forgotten how good he smells, and you remember his bedroom and anticipation and the sound of his belt, and man, the sound of belt buckles, right? and then just wrap it up with a non sequitur. Maybe try “Man, I’m hungry.” or “I actually wish I’d remembered my belt today, these jeans fit so fucking poorly.”
Don’t worry about mentioning David Tennant, if you feel weird and you want to wade in, feel free to mention whether he’s also wearing a belt in the picture. If you’ve gone with the tag where you forgot your own belt, you can say something like, ‘And David Tennant’s belt would do nicely!’
AND THERE YOU GO, THAT’LL DO YOU. You can sit back and relax now, friend! They’ll come to you!
Somebody should remind them of his first episode where he clung to the TARDIS while it was airlifted by helicopters or some shit, flying all over London, and he was almost castrated by Big Ben. Damn, that man is a dedicated actor!
It’s a little-known fact that David Tennant actually jumped out of a plane without a parachute and fell through a glass ceiling. No wonder he has back problems.
1. Have you ever read a 6/11 fic? Do you want to? No, I have not, nor have I ever seen Wilf/The Master fic, but now I kinda want to. See it, that is. I’m not sure if I’d be brave enough to read it.
2. Do you think 4 is hot? How hot? So hot. SOOOOOOOOOOO hot. All the hot. All of the hot especially because he doesn’t just wear pinstripe suits, he wears sweaters and cardigans and jeans that make his butt look even more killer than it usually does. And sometimes (often?) he is naked. Because Rose Tyler and that dash of humanity.
3. What would happen if 4 got 8 pregnant? OH MAN. That is not a scenario I am prepared for, because TenToo only gets Rose Tyler pregnant and I can’t imagine it any other way – if TenToo exists, TenToo is alive and happy with Rose Tyler.
That said, both TenToo and Martha Jones are very attractive so I imagine the resulting baby would be very attractive as well.
4. Can you recall any fics about 9? Yes, but really only in a Doctor/Rose context? That said, I’ve read a number of “Jackie’s POV of Doctor/Rose” and I loooove them.
5. Would 2 and 6 make a good couple? Wilf and the Tenth Doctor? Not a romantic couple, not, but considering the paternal thread of The End of Time I think Ten would really enjoy having Wilf be his adopted dad.
6. 5/9 or 5/10? Why? OH MAN: Donna/Mickey or Donna/Simm!Master??? Can I go with Donna/Simm!Master just because it would be totally unhinged?? Plus, I feel like she’d take the skill set of dealing with the Doctor and apply it to the Master and it would just be epic. Oh fuck, did I just create a new favorite crack!ship??
7. What would happen if 7 walked in on 2 and 12 makingout? Hmmm. If the TARDIS walked in on Ten and Sarah Jane making out? Considering they might be making out INSIDE of the TARDIS that might be a difficult thing. If she was Idris at the time, I imagine she’d implore them to switch to biting, as it’s kissing but with winners and being a winner is fun.
8. Make up a summary for a 3/10 fic. Nine/Mickey: After a long night of drinking and blurry memories, Nine and Mickey wake up naked in bed together and promptly go back to drinking so they can forget THAT ever happened, too.
9. Is there any such thing as 1/8 fluff? Rose/Martha fluff? I’m not into femslash with them, but I can think of fluffy gen fic involving them bonding. I’m sure it’s been written, yeah.
10. If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warning be? Rose/Wilf/Sarah Jane fic – this would have to be during “Stolen Earth” and I imagine it’d carry warnings for angst and very big guns.
There is no adult fic that would come from that trio, not from me.
11. 8 and 11 end up in a closet together. How did that happen? Martha Jones and the Simm!Master end up in a closet together. Likely on the Valiant, during the year that never was, as Martha is sneaking back onto the ship after completing her mission. I imagine nothing good, at all, would come of it.
12. If you saw 9 and 3 in bed together, what would you do? Jackie Tyler and the Ninth Doctor?
It’s the only natural reaction.
13. Suggest a title for a 3/7hurt/comfort TARDIS/Ninth Doctor hurt/comfort? OH GOD. Oh god, that would be the saddest, angstiest fic that ever ficced. Right after the Time War obviously. I’m making myself sad just thinking about it. Perhaps something along the lines of “Gibel” which is a Russian word that means “not death, not suicide, but simply ceasing to exist.”