When you realise not only are robron engaged to be married, not only have Aaron and Robert found true happiness within each other despite their trials and tribulations, struggles and demons, love and heartbreak, but now bartsugsy are going to be all officially related. Aaron and Adam can continue to share that deep brotherly bond as in laws and Victoria can watch her brother grow old with her teenage friend - the man who changed everything, the man who allowed Robert to be himself and be proud of that, the man who holds his heart for life.
Aaron goes out one night and meets a man in a bar, they went back to his flat and had drunk sex. A few days later, Aaron sees this man again…he is Aarons new Business Studies lecturer. Aaron is crushing like a school girl yet he ignores the feelings and avoids Robert. As much as Robert tries to fight the feelings he has for his student, he can’t and tries providing himself with excuses to see Aaron, they can’t avoid each other forever.
- James Madison “accidentally” buys prostitutes for foreign ambassadors
- Jefferson eating a tomato like an apple at a dinner and everyone rushing off to find a doctor because Americans thought tomatoes were poisonous
- Washington and Lafayette falling asleep under a tree after Monmouth
- Washington cursing out Charles Lee after his retreat
- James Armistead Lafayette, who was a badass spy during the revolution and gave Lafayette vital information which led to the victory at Yorktown. Lafayette freed him and James was so grateful he took Lafayette’s last name
- Lafayette being given an alligator as a gift and, not knowing what to do with it, regifting it to John Quincy Adams
- the Constitutional Convention going out and getting turnt two days before the signing of the Constitution, and some of the additional charges being a broken chair, cups, and chamber pots
- John Hancock being smol
- Alexander Hamilton’s argument against hanging John Andrè basically being “he’s too pretty”
- Aaron Burr sleeping through Valentine’s Day
- Lafayette naming his ONLY son after George Washington
- Ben Franklin and John Adams once having to share a room with one bed and falling asleep arguing whether or not they should sleep with the window open or closed
- Ben Franklin taking “air baths” which consisted of him sitting naked in a bathtub for hours a day
- Aaron Burr having a knife hidden in the handle of his umbrella, and then LOSING said umbrella
- John Adams’ kid Charles once ran naked across Harvard Yard
- Alexander Hamilton losing his check book and having to write the bank of New York for a new one, while also requesting his account balance which he didn’t know, which he wrote in the check book, which he lost
- Aaron Burr hitting his head on the same pipe twice jfc he’s such a mess
- Thomas Jefferson getting a terrible headache for two days after behaving awkwardly in front of a girl
- John Adams naming his dog Satan
- Alexander Hamilton’s letters to his totally hetero bro™ John Laurens being censored by his descendants
- George Washington running for the House of Burgesses and getting his constituents totally smashed so they would vote for him
Since US history is all the rage now, I thought I’d share some of my favorite stories about the founding fathers.
-John Adams and Thomas Jefferson once visited the home of Shakespeare together… and both broke off pieces of one of the writer’s chairs so that they could take home souvenirs.
-When he was given an official surrender document during the French-Indian War, George Washington blindly signed the thing because he didn’t want to admit he couldn’t read French. In doing so, he basically solely accepted the blame of multiple war crimes. Somehow he wormed his way out of this… one of his methods was to blame his translator.
-Ben Franklin was forbidden from writing the Declaration of Independence because the founding fathers thought he would try to slip in puns and jokes.
-John Hancock was a convicted smuggler. Charges were dropped against him after he hired John Adams for a lawyer.
-Aaron Burr was a firm believer in the intellectual equality of men and women and lobbied for women’s suffrage.
-John Adams named his dog Satan.
-James Madison was our smallest president, at 5'4" and roughly 100 pounds.
-When he was 26, Washington bribed voters into electing him into office with alcohol… he gave certain voters about a half gallon for choosing him.
-Ben Franklin once wrote an essay urging scientists to “improve the odor of flatulence.”
-Jefferson warned Lewis & Clark to beware of giant sloths during their expedition.
-Adams and Jefferson were the original bros; after a lifetime of friendship, bitterness, and more friendship, they died hours apart on the same day- July 4th. Adams’ last words were, “Jefferson survives.” Well, not quite.
-Washington crossed enemy lines during the Battle of Germantown to return a lost dog to General Howe.
-The Star Spangled Banner was based off of a rowdy English drinking song.
-Alexander Hamilton’s descendants heavily edited and even hid some of his letters to his totally hetero bro, John Laurens, claiming “the content was embarrassing and indecent.”
-Ben Franklin opted for the turkey to be the U.S. national bird, claiming that bald eagles were cold and volatile.
-A few days before signing the Declaration, the Constitutional Convention got LIT. It’s rumored that the founding fathers drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 7 bottles of Claret, 7 bowls of spiked punch, 22 bottles of porter, 8 bottles of whiskey and 8 bottles of hard cider in this one night.
Ian Hicks saw their unique wedding photo and the story about it everywhere… — in
magazine, the New York Post,
the Daily Mail
and of course on Reddit,
where the tale went viral….
didn’t happen. ‘I really wish they knew the real story,’ Amy Hicks said in an interview
with The Washington Post. ‘It’s amazing how many legitimate news publications will
post anything online.’
called them to get the real story, they said….
and Ian Hicks, 28, live in Washington, D.C, where she works in government relations
and he works in sales for a furniture manufacturer. Their wedding took place in
Detroit because Amy is from Michigan….” Kiratiana Freelon, The Washington Post
“…Their wedding photographer, Adam Sparkes, told BuzzFeed he
watched his photo go viral, but figured it would sort itself out. After Elite Daily ran with it, though, the whole thing
completely exploded on Facebook.
Sparkes tried to set the record straight in the comments section
of Elite Daily but it got buried on Facebook.
The real story is that Amy and Ian went to a local abandoned
spot in Detroit to shoot some street photos when they stumbled across the rap
group 7262 shooting a video…
“…The truth of how this photograph
came to be is way better than what the comical, albeit borderline racist, internet
fiction suggests…. I [talked] with Detroit based wedding photographer Adam Sparkes about the real story that led to this
Adam told me he had a really busy
day with his wedding clients, Amy and Ian, that day in
Detroit: ‘There was a Tigers game that had the theater district really tied up,
so the bride and groom thought it would be a fun idea to go over to the remains
of Michigan Central Station….
group of them drove around town in a trolley, they took it down Michigan Avenue
to the Central Station where they happened upon a large group of young guys filming
a video. ‘They had a tricked out Monte Carlo and a Cutlass and were in full music
video mode,’ he told me. Adam had his group take some photographs on the other side
by some planter boxes, but the group making the video noticed them.
the groom if he wanted to be famous, and jokingly we yelled, ‘Hey we’re going to
be in your video!’ The guys were all laughing and told us to come on over, so we
did.’ Who wouldn’t take advantage of such a golden moment? The wedding party danced
and posed with the guys and had an amazing time together in a spontaneous moment
of carefree fun….” Aaron Brown, Fstoppers
“…You can watch Amy and Ian and their bridal party absolutely
crushing it in the video here:
“…So, while the we still coming text might have been a hoax, luckily the
real story is just as amazing.”
Ryan Broderick, BuzzFeed
George Washington: chances he will knock you out = 10000%. Washington, Washington, six foot eight weighs a fucking ton. (not actually true but still) Your puny ass has no chance. He’s gonna wipe the floor with you like he did with the Hessians on Christmas Eve.
John Adams: chances he will knock you out = 20%. Idk man. He’s a little teapot, short and stout. Incredibly crusty. Tilt him over and give His Rotundity a good push. Might call you a whore though.
Ben Franklin: chances he will knock you out = 35% This fucking old man will invent a death contraption just to get your ass and then sleep with your family, friends, and neighbors. Exercise caution when fighting.
Alexander Hamilton: chances he will knock you out = 60% Will try to argue at you. When that fails, he’ll screech at you and go all out. Kind of small and pretty but military trained and no self preservation in sight. Challenged the whole Democratic-Republican party to a fistfight once. A nightmare to fight.
Thomas Jefferson: chances he will knock you out = 50% Ok here is someone you really should fight but probably can’t. Who wouldn’t want to punch that hypocrite face? His height gives him a slight advantage, though, and his journalists can ruin your reputation even if u ruin him.
Aaron Burr: chances he will knock you out = 60% Most of the people who want to fight him will probably end up sleeping with him instead. If you’re in the minority, good luck. He’s a total lightweight. Don’t duel though.
James Madison: chances he will knock you out = 0% Ok what had the world done to you to make you want to fight Madison you cruel creature go burn down an orphanage or something instead.
A) Crossing rivers in Delaware B) Flying a kite and discovering electricity C) Writing letters to my wife Abigail. My wife Abigail Adams. Mrs. John Adams. Abigail. My wife. I like writing letters to her. D) Shooting Alexander Hamilton in an open field :)