aaron evolutions

Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Twins. He’s got increased metabolism and improved thermal homeostasis. Her thing is neural electric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation… He’s fast and she’s weird.”

Criminal Minds s02e23 No Way Out Part 2 The Evolution of Frank review - or more aptly named, why the fuck do they think it’s okay to make me watch Frank all over again? That guy was sick and I feel bad for that lady he hypnotized. Season 2 finale review

Episode 23 – No Way Out Part 2 The Evolution of Frank

Hey guys! So here we are! The season finale of season two. Oh my god. So, I am not looking forward to this because the name of the episode suggests that that sicko asshast Frank is back, and as you may or may not have noticed before, I FUCKING HATE THAT CHARACTER SO FUCKING MUCH!

But, I’m trying not to be judgy. So let me just get my morning oatmeal ready and we’ll start this episode, and hopefully I won’t puke my guts out this time. Okay?

All righty, let’s see what happens.

Jason Gideon is picking out flowers. I can’t get over this. Oh my god.

“What are you looking for?” “Something flowery.” Oh my dear little perfect cupcake.

“Hey, back off, pal.” “What did I do?”

Oh god, poor Hotch.

“Are you on a date? And you didn’t tell me?” Hotch! Oh god, they’re actually acting like teenagers in high school and I love this.

“Face it, buddy. You want some action, it’s the roses.” “She’s right.” Oh Hotch.

“Make it look … happy.”

Oh god I love Mandy Patinkin so fucking much.

They’re trying to redistribute funds so they’re asking for an annual evaluation on the team? Oh god, no no nononononononononono! I will not allow this. Hotch, Gideon, do something. JASON! This is more important that the fucking jet! Come on!
“Hey, Hotch, you’re the best unit chief I know.” “Jason, I’m the only unit chief you know.” Oh baby.

Oh shit. Jason saw Jane. Fuck. What is she doing here? Oh no, no, no, no. Please not now.

“Button Mums are something you give your mother.” Hotch, you little shit.

NO! Not Frank! FUCK!

Why is he in Jason’s house? Oh my god.

Oh god, Mandy’s tortured faces are killing me here. Fuck you, Frank! Fuck you and your crazy mind.

Oscar Wilde: “I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, my enemies for their good intellects.” Wow, that guy was one poodle that was messed up in the noodle.

Can I just say? Jayne Atkinson is HOT! Even for an old lady.

“The unsubs, devoid of any morality, humanity, remorse when caught, often come to believe that we’re the only ones who understand them. And they’re right, we do. Otherwise … how could we catch them?” Oh could, that is one tough job. Fuck.

Hotch got a call to Gideon’s apartment? Oh god. What happened there? Oh my goodness.

Oh god. Frank just did a number of Gideon’s apartment, he was crazy with grief, went out covered in blood with a gun, and the PD think he did this? FUCK YOU ASSHOLES

I’m with Derek all the way.

“Oh, JJ, it’s Friday night. The cute guy from counterterrorism. 3 cocktails in, I am looking at second base, so this better be good.” Oh boy! Penelope, in a black wig, coming home from the middle of a date, I can’t get over how awesome this lady is and how awesome she looks in a wig.

Finally they realize that fucking asshole Frank is back.

He left the rib bone in Sarah’s hand for the team. God damnit.

Oh my god, Gideon is on the run. I don’t like this. Well, more on the hunt after Frank, but I really don’t like this, nevertheless.

I love Hotch for willing to go against the police to save Gideon and get Frank is amazing. But why are the team so reluctant to do this? This is freaking Jason Gideon we’re talking about.

Also, why is Frank such a douche that he sends a kid to quote himself to Morgan from that time back in the diner, and then promise him they’ll pay him ten bucks? Oh my god, that guy is sick.

SICK. SICK. SICK.

“Nervous whistles, stop it. Stop it. Everything is … everything is cool, Garcia. Gorgeous tech kitten found in lonely … dark parking lot. Throat slashed, ear to ear. Horrific. Tragic. With the very files of one of the most prolific serial killers ever. Tonight he remains at large, the blood of Quantico’s finest –” Oh my god, GARCIA! She has a nervous tick of whistling, and I can’t get over how cute she is when she’s scared she talks to herself and it’s the most adorable thing ever! I love this woman.

Oh my goodness, Jason just totally popped out of nowhere and just got into the car and scared the living guano out of Penelope. Oh my god. I love their interactions so much.

“Just drive.” Cool.

So Frank is still after Jane? She ran away from him and he wants her back? Fuck.

Murder book?

The people he saved.

Oh fuck! Frank is going after the people Gideon saved. Shit.

I love how appreciative Penelope is. You perfect tech kitten goddess.

“Turdus polyglottus. Mockingbird. They’ve provided insights into the origin of syntax. Essential first steps into the evolution of human language. If we stand any chance of stopping him, we need to understand the evolution of Frank. What created him.” Oh shit.

So that sentence basically generated the flow of these thoughts:

‘What the fuck is going on here? Has Jason completely lost his marbles? Why is he twittering about birds right now? The human language evolved from a bird? Are we that pathetic? Oh shit, they’re going to investigate Frank and delve into his twisted mind, shit. No. I don’t like this. Please. Stop. Shit.’

Oh god. He is pretending to be an agent with the BAU? Following up on the victim of that fire that the Fisher King started? Oh my god.

WHAT? He’s pretending to be Gideon? YOU FUCKER!

Wait. So he let himself in on a ruse. Then completely drops that ruse to understand her and fuck with her brain before he tortures her? Oh my fucking god, someone stop this asshole before I kick him in the balls he clearly doesn’t have.

So he is looking to feel? So that he can be better to Jane? Oh you sick fucker.

Thank god the phone rang. Fuck.

Just get out! come on! Oh fuck, he’s behind you! Shit! Oh my god!

Shit.

Oh my god! REBECCA! FUCK!

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god, what is going on here? What is this episode doing to me? Fuck.

So he requested a meeting in Union Station? Fuck.

So they found Jane. Good. Fuck.

This is one sick episode.

Oh Jane, why are you provoking the other detainees? Shit.

He wants to love her? But he can’t love her? Shit. You poor honey.

Tracey Belle? OH MY GOD! He’s going after the little girl? SHIT!

Fuck. I hope Tracey is still alive. Damn.

“Tell us something good, Reid.” Oh honey, I love how he’s desperate for good news. My little perfect puppy.

I love those two together in a scene! It’s so perfect! And I love how Penelope is trying to think like a BAU agent, trying to understand Gideon’s thought process.

“Is that odd?” oh you cute button, you.

“You’re onto something.” Oh honey. “That’s great, I don’t know what.”

EW! THAT IS SO SICK! So he didn’t kill Jane because he sees her as his mother? Yet he claims to be in love with her like a lover? Fuck. That man is sick to the bone.

So Frank grew up in Manhattan, never knew his father, so he took his mother’s name. He was obsessed with her. And told Jane everything. Fuck this is sick.

So his mom is dead? Oh fuck.

German mother. Immigrated in the fifties. Oh damn.

So he lied about his mother’s occupation? She was a prostitute? Oh my god. And she’s not dead. He lied about the story about his mom? Why?

Oh my god! FRANK HAS TRACEY! SHIT!

Oh my goodness gracious, Mandy’s face is just the most precious thing ever. It’s torn between talking to a sweet child and trying to calm her down and the horror that this fucker has her. oh my god.

Oh god. This is the first time I’ve seen Penelope horrified. I can’t. I can’t deal with my emotions right now. They’re all in a jumble.

Please someone stop this madness.

Someone kill Frank.

I am begging you.

A little hot Derek Morgan to alleviate the situation.

“No matter what happens this time, we don’t split up, clear?” oh JJ, you are such a mothering hen, I love you so much.

“Do you have something for me?” “No, I don’t.” well, that’s a disappointment, Hotch, you look so formidable it’s almost cute.

JJ with a gun. HOT DAMN.

Get him, Jason! Get the fucker!

“You took the lives of hundreds. All because your mother was a whore?” oh Jason, I don’t think that provoking this fucker is the right course of action. But then again, you’re the expert here, so proceed with the show.

Wait. He saw his mother whore herself? Fuck.

Oh my god! TRACEY! THANK FUCK!

Oh shit. He’s hypnotizing Jane all over again. Oh you messed up noodle, Jane.

NO!

WHAT?!

They actually jumped in front of that fucking train???? WHAT??????

“I believe you are no longer effective in your post.” What the fuck does that mean, Erin? What the fuck are you trying to say here, bitch?

Hahahahahaha he’s profiling Erin! I love you, Hotchner.

“As your superior I am questioning your ability to lead your team.” Oh she did not just utter those words, I am about this close to getting into that show and strangling Erin.

“My team? Let me tell you about my team.

“Agent Morgan fought to protect his identity from the very people who could save him – why? Because trust has to be earned, and there are very few people he truly trusts.

“Reid’s intellect is a shield which protects him from his emotions and at the moment his shield is under repair.

“Prentiss overcompensates because she doesn’t yet feel she’s a part of the team. She needn’t worry.

“Every day, Agent Jareau fields dozens of requests of our team. And every night she goes home hoping she’s made the right choices.

“Garcia fills her office with figurines and color to remind herself to smile as the horror fills her screens.

“And Agent Gideon, in many ways, is damned by his profound knowledge of others. Which is why he shares so little of himself, yet he pours his heart into every case we handle.

“I stand by my actions, and I stand by my team. And if you think you can find a better person for the job, good luck.”

“How do I know you favor your son? I’m good at my job.” I love you Hotchner, so much, and I hope this lady stops being such a bitch.

Hold up the damn phone. Is Erin trying to bribe one of my superheroes? Oh hell no.

Okay. Hold up. Hold the fucking phone. So because Hotch is good at his job and scares the living shit out of her because he can see right through her and know her darkest secrets she’s trying to get rid of him and is trying to manipulate Prentiss into helping her by threatening her position at the BAU? Oh my fucking god, I hope she says no. Why end the season like that? Assholes.

Okay, so we’re done with season 2. HOLY COW! And this episode was just one big fest of holy shit, I hate you guys for making me watch this sick asshole Frank, he’s so awful, please god stop. But we got tons of pictures of Mandy Patinkin looking adorable, and he had scenes with Penelope, which was amazing! And at the end Hotchner standing up for the team was absolutely heartwarming and I love this show so much. I cannot wait to start season three.

I’ll see you all for the review of the third season’s premiere.

Till then, au revoir mon cherries! <3