Criminal Minds s02e23 No Way Out Part 2 The Evolution of Frank review - or more aptly named, why the fuck do they think it’s okay to make me watch Frank all over again? That guy was sick and I feel bad for that lady he hypnotized. Season 2 finale review
Episode 23 –
No Way Out Part 2 The Evolution of Frank
Hey guys! So here we are! The season finale
of season two. Oh my god. So, I am not looking forward to this because the name
of the episode suggests that that sicko asshast Frank is back, and as you may or
may not have noticed before, I FUCKING HATE THAT CHARACTER SO FUCKING MUCH!
But, I’m trying not to be judgy. So let me
just get my morning oatmeal ready and we’ll start this episode, and hopefully I
won’t puke my guts out this time. Okay?
All righty, let’s see what happens.
Jason Gideon is picking out flowers. I
can’t get over this. Oh my god.
“What are you looking for?” “Something
flowery.” Oh my dear little perfect cupcake.
“Hey, back off, pal.” “What did I do?”
Oh god, poor Hotch.
“Are you on a date? And you didn’t tell
me?” Hotch! Oh god, they’re actually acting like teenagers in high school and I
“Face it, buddy. You want some action, it’s
the roses.” “She’s right.” Oh Hotch.
“Make it look … happy.”
Oh god I love Mandy Patinkin so fucking much.
They’re trying to redistribute funds so
they’re asking for an annual evaluation on the team? Oh god, no no
nononononononononono! I will not allow this. Hotch, Gideon, do something.
JASON! This is more important that the fucking jet! Come on!
“Hey, Hotch, you’re the best unit chief I know.” “Jason, I’m the only unit
chief you know.” Oh baby.
Oh shit. Jason saw Jane. Fuck. What is she
doing here? Oh no, no, no, no. Please not now.
“Button Mums are something you give your
mother.” Hotch, you little shit.
NO! Not Frank! FUCK!
Why is he in Jason’s house? Oh my god.
Oh god, Mandy’s tortured faces are killing
me here. Fuck you, Frank! Fuck you and your crazy mind.
Oscar Wilde: “I choose my friends for their
good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, my enemies for their
good intellects.” Wow, that guy was one poodle that was messed up in the
Can I just say? Jayne Atkinson is HOT! Even
for an old lady.
“The unsubs, devoid of any morality,
humanity, remorse when caught, often come to believe that we’re the only ones
who understand them. And they’re right, we do. Otherwise … how could we catch
them?” Oh could, that is one tough job. Fuck.
Hotch got a call to Gideon’s apartment? Oh
god. What happened there? Oh my goodness.
Oh god. Frank just did a number of Gideon’s
apartment, he was crazy with grief, went out covered in blood with a gun, and
the PD think he did this? FUCK YOU ASSHOLES
I’m with Derek all the way.
“Oh, JJ, it’s Friday night. The cute guy
from counterterrorism. 3 cocktails in, I am looking at second base, so this
better be good.” Oh boy! Penelope, in a black wig, coming home from the middle
of a date, I can’t get over how awesome this lady is and how awesome she looks
in a wig.
Finally they realize that fucking asshole
Frank is back.
He left the rib bone in Sarah’s hand for
the team. God damnit.
Oh my god, Gideon is on the
run. I don’t like this. Well, more on the hunt after Frank, but I really don’t
like this, nevertheless.
I love Hotch for willing to go against the
police to save Gideon and get Frank is amazing. But why are the team so
reluctant to do this? This is freaking Jason Gideon we’re talking about.
Also, why is Frank such a douche that he
sends a kid to quote himself to Morgan from that time back in the diner, and
then promise him they’ll pay him ten bucks? Oh my god, that guy is sick.
SICK. SICK. SICK.
“Nervous whistles, stop it. Stop it.
Everything is … everything is cool, Garcia. Gorgeous tech kitten found in
lonely … dark parking lot. Throat slashed, ear to ear. Horrific. Tragic. With
the very files of one of the most prolific serial killers ever. Tonight he
remains at large, the blood of Quantico’s finest –” Oh my god, GARCIA! She has
a nervous tick of whistling, and I can’t get over how cute she is when she’s
scared she talks to herself and it’s the most adorable thing ever! I love this
Oh my goodness, Jason just totally popped
out of nowhere and just got into the car and scared the living guano out of
Penelope. Oh my god. I love their interactions so much.
“Just drive.” Cool.
So Frank is still after Jane? She ran away
from him and he wants her back? Fuck.
The people he saved.
Oh fuck! Frank is going after the people
Gideon saved. Shit.
I love how appreciative Penelope is. You
perfect tech kitten goddess.
“Turdus polyglottus. Mockingbird. They’ve
provided insights into the origin of syntax. Essential first steps into the
evolution of human language. If we stand any chance of stopping him, we need to
understand the evolution of Frank. What created him.” Oh shit.
So that sentence basically generated the
flow of these thoughts:
‘What the fuck is going on here? Has Jason
completely lost his marbles? Why is he twittering about birds right now? The
human language evolved from a bird? Are we that pathetic? Oh shit, they’re
going to investigate Frank and delve into his twisted mind, shit. No. I don’t
like this. Please. Stop. Shit.’
Oh god. He is pretending to be an agent
with the BAU? Following up on the victim of that fire that the Fisher King
started? Oh my god.
WHAT? He’s pretending to be Gideon? YOU
Wait. So he let himself in on a ruse. Then
completely drops that ruse to understand her and fuck with her brain before he
tortures her? Oh my fucking god, someone stop this asshole before I kick him in
the balls he clearly doesn’t have.
So he is looking to feel? So that he can be
better to Jane? Oh you sick fucker.
Thank god the phone rang. Fuck.
Just get out! come on! Oh fuck, he’s behind
you! Shit! Oh my god!
Oh my god! REBECCA! FUCK!
Oh my god. Oh my fucking god, what is going
on here? What is this episode doing to me? Fuck.
So he requested a meeting in Union Station?
So they found Jane. Good. Fuck.
This is one sick episode.
Oh Jane, why are you provoking the other
He wants to love her? But he can’t love
her? Shit. You poor honey.
Tracey Belle? OH MY GOD! He’s going after
the little girl? SHIT!
Fuck. I hope Tracey is still alive. Damn.
“Tell us something good, Reid.” Oh honey, I
love how he’s desperate for good news. My little perfect puppy.
I love those two together in a scene! It’s
so perfect! And I love how Penelope is trying to think like a BAU agent, trying
to understand Gideon’s thought process.
EW! THAT IS SO SICK! So he didn’t kill Jane
because he sees her as his mother? Yet he claims to be in love with her like a
lover? Fuck. That man is sick to the bone.
So Frank grew up in Manhattan, never knew
his father, so he took his mother’s name. He was obsessed with her. And told
Jane everything. Fuck this is sick.
So his mom is dead? Oh fuck.
German mother. Immigrated in the fifties.
So he lied about his mother’s occupation?
She was a prostitute? Oh my god. And she’s not dead. He lied about the story
about his mom? Why?
Oh my god! FRANK HAS TRACEY! SHIT!
Oh my goodness gracious, Mandy’s face is
just the most precious thing ever. It’s torn between talking to a sweet child
and trying to calm her down and the horror that this fucker has her. oh my god.
Oh god. This is the first time I’ve seen
Penelope horrified. I can’t. I can’t deal with my emotions right now. They’re
all in a jumble.
Please someone stop this madness.
Someone kill Frank.
I am begging you.
A little hot Derek Morgan to alleviate the
matter what happens this time, we don’t split up, clear?” oh JJ, you are such a
mothering hen, I love you so much.
“Do you have something for me?” “No, I
don’t.” well, that’s a disappointment, Hotch, you look so formidable it’s
JJ with a gun. HOT DAMN.
Get him, Jason! Get the fucker!
“You took the lives of hundreds. All
because your mother was a whore?” oh Jason, I don’t think that provoking this
fucker is the right course of action. But then again, you’re the expert here,
so proceed with the show.
Wait. He saw his mother whore herself?
Oh my god! TRACEY! THANK FUCK!
Oh shit. He’s hypnotizing Jane all over
again. Oh you messed up noodle, Jane.
They actually jumped in front of that
fucking train???? WHAT??????
“I believe you are no longer effective in
your post.” What the fuck does that mean, Erin? What the fuck are you trying to
say here, bitch?
Hahahahahaha he’s profiling Erin! I love
your superior I am questioning your ability to lead your team.” Oh she did not
just utter those words, I am about this close to getting into that show
and strangling Erin.
“My team? Let me tell you about my team.
“Agent Morgan fought to protect his
identity from the very people who could save him – why? Because trust has to be
earned, and there are very few people he truly trusts.
“Reid’s intellect is a shield which
protects him from his emotions and at the moment his shield is under repair.
“Prentiss overcompensates because she doesn’t
yet feel she’s a part of the team. She needn’t worry.
“Every day, Agent Jareau fields dozens of
requests of our team. And every night she goes home hoping she’s made the right
“Garcia fills her office with figurines and
color to remind herself to smile as the horror fills her screens.
“And Agent Gideon, in many ways, is damned
by his profound knowledge of others. Which is why he shares so little of
himself, yet he pours his heart into every case we handle.
“I stand by my actions, and I stand by my
team. And if you think you can find a better person for the job, good luck.”
“How do I know you favor your son? I’m good
at my job.” I love you Hotchner, so much, and I hope this lady stops being such
Hold up the damn phone. Is Erin trying to
bribe one of my superheroes? Oh hell no.
Okay. Hold up. Hold the fucking phone. So because
Hotch is good at his job and scares the living shit out of her because he can
see right through her and know her darkest secrets she’s trying to get rid of
him and is trying to manipulate Prentiss into helping her by threatening her
position at the BAU? Oh my fucking god, I hope she says no. Why end the season
like that? Assholes.
Okay, so we’re done with season 2. HOLY
COW! And this episode was just one big fest of holy shit, I hate you guys for making
me watch this sick asshole Frank, he’s so awful, please god stop. But we got tons
of pictures of Mandy Patinkin looking adorable, and he had scenes with Penelope,
which was amazing! And at the end Hotchner standing up for the team was
absolutely heartwarming and I love this show so much. I cannot wait to start
I’ll see you all for the review of the
third season’s premiere.