aaron chao

Swaying Chaos, Burning Light

A/N: An anon request for a Hotch x Reader where the reader has frequent migraines. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @lukeassmanalvez @rmmalta


“Aaron,” you breathed weakly. You stopped dead in the middle of sidewalk and immediately reached for your sunglasses. “I’m sorry. I…I need to go home.”

Aaron turned around and saw you swaying lightly back and forth. After quite a few months together, he was accustomed to your frequent migraines. If only you could say the same. You could suffer, and probably would, with killer migraines until the day you died and you were positive you’d never get used to them. “Again?” He asked. His voice wasn’t at all tinged with annoyance, just concern. When you nodded, he grimaced and wrapped his arms around you - having a steadying force helped; anytime you had a migraine, your world seemed to spin. “Can you walk back to the car?”

As you turned, tears stinging at your eyes because your migraines had once again ruined the first date you’d had with Aaron in a while, you started to feel bile turn in your stomach. And this migraine wasn’t even that bad yet. “Yea, I think so. Are we near the pizza place?”

Aaron placed a kiss on your forehead, which was something he did whenever he was scared for you. Your confusion - not knowing where you were, in particular - was especially scary for him. But again you were used to it. “Yea, do you want a bottle of water so you can take your medicine?”

“Yes, please,” you sniffled. “Aaron, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” This time when he kissed your forehead, it was softer and sweeter, less insistent than before. He whispered that it was okay and it wasn’t your fault before leaning you up against the wall of the pizza place and running inside to grab a bottle of water. In the eternity it took for him to grab water (at least it felt like an eternity), you reached into your purse and grabbed your migraine medication. Huffing and puffing with impatience, he returned with a bottle of water; you spun around too fast to grab it and nearly lost your footing, which in turn made you sick to your stomach.

Falling to the floor was another thing you’d become accustomed to. Sometimes your migraines came on gradually and others, like now, they seemed to flood your senses within minutes. Aaron’s arms reached down (you were on the floor…how had you ended up on the floor?) and picked you up, cradling you in his arms as he walked you down the block. “Can you talk to me?” You asked. A lot of people had issues with sound during a migraine, but that wasn’t your big issue; Aaron’s voice was soothing. Your big issue was the light, so you turned into his chest and closed your eyes, shutting away the burning rays of the sun from your face. 

“What about?” He asked softly.

“Tell me about Jack. How’s he doing in school?” Despite dating for less than six  months, Aaron’s son was the light of your life. Hearing about him might keep your mind occupied for a while, so your boyfriend told you all about Jack’s school life. He was excelling in mathematics, but struggling in reading, which frustrated him because he desperately wanted to read things like Harry Potter and The Mortal Instruments. Jack also had one close friend named Charlie, but other than him, he didn’t have too many friends. That was okay though; you never had a ton of friends either and you’d turned out okay - save for the migraines that is. 

Before long, Aaron placed you in the car, turned the air conditioner all the way up and gave you a blanket from the backseat so you could barricade yourself away from the sun’s violent beams. “Do you want to come home? Or do you want to stay at my place?”

With your luck, he was going to get called away on another case soon, and this was the last date you were going to have in a while. “If you don’t mind,” you said slowly, each word feeling heavy in your mouth, “I’d like to stay with you. I don’t really want to be alone.” 

The ride home took a little bit longer than expected. You caught seemingly ever red light in existence. Once, he had to stop short and your head throbbed at the sensation. “Ah, fuckkkkkk.” Grabbing your head through the material of the blanket, you cried out in pain. It was always the left side of your head. Always. Aaron placed his right hand on your arm, while he drove with his left and finally you were back at his place.

In an attempt to not feel helpless as fuck, you tried to open the door yourself and get up, but your bitch of a migraine had other plans and you fell into the sidewalk and immediately burst into tears which hurt your head even more. “Shhh, shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Aaron carried you upstairs and laid you on his couch, whispering to Jack that he needed to keep quiet because you were sick. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered before giving you a kiss on the forehead. Like father, like son. In spite of your pain, you smiled at the boy’s gesture and made a kissy noise from inside the blanket. 

After getting you another glass of water and putting more medication on the table, Aaron joined you on the couch and pulled you into his embrace. “Go to sleep,” he said soothingly. “If you’re feeling better later we can go do something. If not, I’ll be right here, all night.”

Your head throbbed. That sick feeling still churned in your stomach. The desire to turn into an animal of the night, away from the light, was ever present. But at least you had an understanding boyfriend to help you through it all. In previous relationships, your significant others got tired of having to care for you after a few months, walking out never to be heard from again, but in the months since you’d started seeing Aaron, you felt nothing but love and concern. This was a hellish thing to have to undergo on a consistent basis, but Aaron was your anchor in the swaying chaos and the burning light.


I started reading the Choas Walking Trilogy, and in The Knife of Never Letting Go, I just bloody realized that Todd effing Hewitt is going to be singing!


~ Par delà les chutes 

Instead of doing Inktober these last few days, I have been reading Chaos Walking once again, and it still is heart wrenching!
I am way too emotional over these books >_<
I really really hope the movie will be as good, fingers crossed ✨

More of a color key test, I have tons of other CW illustrations to come!

(Scene from the end of the first book, when Todd & Viola find a hidden passage behind a waterfall, to escape from Aaron)


anonymous asked:

for the ship thing: hamburr ??

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa
- Alexander. He’s constantly just running into doors because he’s too busy looking at Aaron 😍

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them
- Aaron. He wears the dopiest little smile as he does it too

Who starts the tickle fights
- Aaron. Alex is the only ticklish one between the two of them

Who starts the pillow fights
- Alex. And he’s skillful with it. Full out war tactics, ambushes, and stealth missions

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile
- Alex. He never sleeps anyway. Though when Alex does just doze off from time to time Aaron can be found doing this too

Who mistakes salt for sugar
- Aaron. Sue him but cooking isn’t a strong suit of his.

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning
- Alex. He also pops popcorn at that time so the beeping isn’t even a big deal, in comparison

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines
- Alex. He thinks he’s soooo cool because he can come up with a few smooth words on the fly

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order
- Aaron. Alex lives in a constant state of chaos and Aaron tries to help little by little

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies
- Both of them. They have an electric mixer and they each get one of the whisks

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion
- Aaron. “What? I enjoy mood lighting? You look better in the dark, anyway.”

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen
- Alex. Aaron has this habit of falling asleep on Alex’s shoulder on the subway and Alex is never without a pen.

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation
- Alex. They decorate their freezer and hold up a picture from each of the vacations.

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines
- Aaron. He swears by them because he did them with his sister all the time.


So today in my literature class we were discussing the last poem(i’m gonna call it poem 1) written by Hristo Botev (the most brilliant bulgarian poet) and we were comparing that poem to another one (poem 2) he had written and briefly:

In poem 2 there was a wolf that was taking care of a wounded man by licking(cleaning) his wound while in poem 1 there wolves too but they were howling and were wild. The teacher explained that in poem 2 the wolf was peaceful because the situation was peaceful, while in poem 1 everything was chaotic(almost apocalyptic) and so the wolves were wild. The poet used wolves because they are one of the oldest symbols of chaos and this is why Havoc is a wolf and not some other chaos-ridden animal. And I mean he’s not a wolf just because he’s chaos-ridden but also remember that Havoc appeared right after Aaron was discovered to be a makar? Remember that after he appeared Aaron was kidnapped, Call discovered that he was Constantine etc. So what i’m trying to say is that Havoc symbolises the chaos in Call’s life and as long as he is there i think it means that things will keep getting worse and worse(more chaotic).