Girl, where you been? A reflection on the last year.
Looking back on the last year and especially the last 7 months, I’ve had a lot of BIG LIFE CHANGES. When I started this blog I was cruising around in the no-man’s-land of post-graduate, new office worker with a lot of empty time on my hands that needed filling. So I filled it with running and eating well and really just focusing on my body for the first time ever.
Then there was cohabitation, where the boy was like “Let’s have ice cream!” every night (and how can you say no to an adorable boy and ice cream). And then we got engaged. And I was still taking great care of myself and fell into the “gotta look good in the big white dress” mind set. Then, the injury came. Too much pressure on myself to execute a lot of DIY wedding projects AND try to train for another distance race again meant my body said, “ENOUGH!” This sent me back to a very old frenemy: emotional eating. Sad you can’t work out? EAT! Bored because you can’t run? Eat! Angry at yourself for eating feelings? Eat mooorrrree. The wedding was wonderful and fall was nice, but then hubby, frenemy and I snuggled in for a long New England winter.
Then came January 4. I was with friends, thank god, when I got the call from my dad that my grandparents’ house has burned to the ground and my Pepere, who was at home, didn’t make it out. My family came together amazingly, but we all cope similarly — food, together time, more food, and drinks. Sometimes it’s easier to just bury those scary, sad, overwhelming feelings that to deal with them. There was so much else going on in my life that I didn’t have time, space or energy to unravel and process, so I just kept on keeping on.
I plowed ahead with my first semester of grad school. A job that has a lot of after-hours demands (client work from 5 pm – 10 pm regularly during our busy seasons). But that wasn’t enough, apparently, for me. Hubby and I decided after a snowed-in series of winter weekends that it was high time we looked to buy a house. I thought it would be a long, arduous process, but we got lucky and found a house we loved in a price we could afford on our second venture out. Which meant that the entire “shit, we’re really buying a house” process got fast tracked this spring. We closed just 3 weeks ago.
So with all these things going on, requiring priority in my life, I’ve let taking care of myself, and especially my body, slip to the back burner. If I have to choose between completing a task that affects others or just myself, I will always put the task for others first. It’s just how I am.
But now it feels like I have some space to breathe again. House is closed, we’re moved in, and it’s only as messy as any other normal house (plus a few boxes). Last project of the semester was turned in yesterday. Work is creeping toward the summer slow season in a few weeks. Our honeymoon is coming up in 2.5 weeks and I’m prioritizing me first for the next 20 days. I’d get bored if life wasn’t a roller coaster, but I’m glad we’re on the lazy river section for at least a little while.