Girl, where you been? A reflection on the last year.

Looking back on the last year and especially the last 7 months, I’ve had a lot of BIG LIFE CHANGES. When I started this blog I was cruising around in the no-man’s-land of post-graduate, new office worker with a lot of empty time on my hands that needed filling. So I filled it with running and eating well and really just focusing on my body for the first time ever.

Then there was cohabitation, where the boy was like “Let’s have ice cream!” every night (and how can you say no to an adorable boy and ice cream). And then we got engaged. And I was still taking great care of myself and fell into the “gotta look good in the big white dress” mind set. Then, the injury came. Too much pressure on myself to execute a lot of DIY wedding projects AND try to train for another distance race again meant my body said, “ENOUGH!” This sent me back to a very old frenemy: emotional eating. Sad you can’t work out? EAT! Bored because you can’t run? Eat! Angry at yourself for eating feelings? Eat mooorrrree. The wedding was wonderful and fall was nice, but then hubby, frenemy and I snuggled in for a long New England winter.

Then came January 4. I was with friends, thank god, when I got the call from my dad that my grandparents’ house has burned to the ground and my Pepere, who was at home, didn’t make it out. My family came together amazingly, but we all cope similarly — food, together time, more food, and drinks. Sometimes it’s easier to just bury those scary, sad, overwhelming feelings that to deal with them. There was so much else going on in my life that I didn’t have time, space or energy to unravel and process, so I just kept on keeping on.

I plowed ahead with my first semester of grad school. A job that has a lot of after-hours demands (client work from 5 pm – 10 pm regularly during our busy seasons). But that wasn’t enough, apparently, for me. Hubby and I decided after a snowed-in series of winter weekends that it was high time we looked to buy a house. I thought it would be a long, arduous process, but we got lucky and found a house we loved in a price we could afford on our second venture out. Which meant that the entire “shit, we’re really buying a house” process got fast tracked this spring. We closed just 3 weeks ago.

So with all these things going on, requiring priority in my life, I’ve let taking care of myself, and especially my body, slip to the back burner. If I have to choose between completing a task that affects others or just myself, I will always put the task for others first. It’s just how I am.

But now it feels like I have some space to breathe again. House is closed, we’re moved in, and it’s only as messy as any other normal house (plus a few boxes). Last project of the semester was turned in yesterday. Work is creeping toward the summer slow season in a few weeks. Our honeymoon is coming up in 2.5 weeks and  I’m prioritizing me first for the next 20 days. I’d get bored if life wasn’t a roller coaster, but I’m glad we’re on the lazy river section for at least a little while.

Friday Selfie Date Night

Hubs usually plays pick-up hockey on Friday with the boys, so I’m free to do as I please. The nights I tell myself, “I’m going to power clean everything!” don’t usually happen. Weeknights or weekend days can be for house chores and life errands. But Friday nights I’m officially claiming as me-time.

Some nights, like last week, I will indulge in a big bowl of mac & cheese, a glass of wine, and a few hours of Doctor Who. Some nights, I will go to the movies, alone or with friends, and eat a big ol’ bowl of movie theater popcorn. Some nights, like tonight, I will take myself to the gym with some magazines, headphones, and a few hours to kill.

All About Me 2013

With the wedding behind us, 2013 feels like a year to focus on settling in and making solid routines. We have some big-life couple goals, but that’s not the focus of this post.

I’ve been thinking, planning, and reviewing the data for the last few days. I’m ready to declare some 2013 goals.

  • Food: short-term (January) goal is to weigh, measure and track all my food intake. Reassessment to follow in February if I need to keep going or if I’ve reset my habits.
  • Money: keep to my aggressive, but doable, schedule to be debt-free in 2 years. I’ve been saying “I want to pay off my credit cards” for 2 years… instead of saying “I want” this time, I made a plan, based on a loan calculator spreadsheet from an accountant friend (mom). This way in another two years I won’t still be paying for pizza, booze and clothes I bought in college.
  • Sweat: cut out unnecessary spending in a few places and invest in 1x/month Personal Training membership add-on to BSC membership. Meet with Trainer Greg face-to-face once a month for ass-whopping and new month program. This requires a 6-month commitment. That is almost exactly to the day when we leave for Greece.
  • Mental: simplify. Similar to 2012, say no to requests and commitments that won’t or no longer bring me joy. Pare down on the STUFF (especially before we move).

I know it’s cliché but I don’t care: I have a good feeling about this year. I’m in a better place mentally than I have been in a while when it comes to focusing on myself – my health, my finances, my stress level – just me.

"All About Me 2013" in Summary

Sometimes you’re like, “Hey, Universe! I have a declaration to make!” And the Universe is like, “Oh, hell no.”

Jan 2013: “I know it’s cliché but I don’t care: I have a good feeling about this year. I’m in a better place mentally than I have been in a while…”

Here’s to wrapping up one hell of a roller coaster year.

January Goals. February Goals.

January came in at 75% of my targeted 20 workouts. And probably about 75% of tracking intake. Considering the life events last month, I am okay and proud of those results. I also stepped down from a big national committee I was working on because I don’t have the time or energy for it right now. I’m also proud of that because it’s really, really hard for me to say “no” even when I should.

This month my workout plan is 16 workouts of at least 20 min each. I also want to continue tracking my intake, which I have been slacking on for a few days, as I find it’s helping me with perspective. Graduate school starts this week (I’m taking 2 night classes/week), so I’m trying to get some other life stuff (taxes, christmas decorations) dealt with before Thursday.