aadambautistaa

2

     Can I just faint right now? I mean, this very moment? Aadam followed me! Gummy! He’s one of the foreign blogs that I’ve been looking up to. And to be followed and complimented by the one who inspires you to write, is awesomely and superbly heart-warming! Thank you. Don’t feel like one. You’re unique and you have so much gift in writing. God bless you! Waaaah! :)))

We look at our lives, and we just expect the worst. We begin to think that good things don’t last forever and that people always leave; In the end, we try to find early warning signs of why a relationship won’t work, maybe just so we won’t end up as surprised when everything goes wrong
—  aadambautistaa

The worst part writing is that my words are never my own. Once ink leaves a pen and touches paper, those words that were once mine are stolen and is never returned. The meaning I intended these words to have when they are written are immediately lost as they are read, and takes an entirely new meaning by the reader. 

I can attempt to write a sequence of words that are meant to describe the beauty of love. A person suffering from a broken heart may see it as lies scribbled across the page that is adding to their misery. A child may immediately think of those fairy tales they constantly fantasized about. And someone in love may feel these words fall short of describing love with justice, as their experience of love is something that can never be capture with just words. 

In the end, I’m left with nothing as the emotion and thoughts that were used to write escaped with the ink forming these words. In the end, all I see are words that are not mine anymore and one day I will forget that I have even written them. My eyes may even past by these words fifty years from now and I’ll assume that a stranger had written them. You see, the worst part of writing is that your letting everything you kept inside go, never realizing that you may of not been ready to let it all go just yet. 

Sometimes.

Sometimes, I wish that I knew what I looked like through your eyes. I wish that I could read your thoughts to know if you ever think about me as much as I think about you. I even wonder if you’re even scared to lose me; if you care about me at all or just taking me for granted in your life.

Sometimes, I wish it could be as easy as just looking into your eyes and to know how you feel about me. I want to know if all these sleepless nights and over thinking is worth it. I want to know if you’re worth it or if I’m just living in a fantasy.

And sometimes, I wish you could read my mind to know what I’m too scared to say. To see what you would do if you knew what went through my head each day. To see if you would even care at all.

Imperfectly Perfect.

I would be lying if I said that there wasn’t a time in my life when I imagined the perfect relationships mirrored the ones found in movies, shows, and novels. Where every date was an adventure that turned in to an unforgettable memory, where the right words were spoken every single time, and where everything in the end always worked out so smoothly.

But reality is, that life is much more than just movies, shows, and novels. We learn that chances are, we won’t have that relationship that Hollywood has made famous. More often than not, the right words will be hard to come by during an argument and won’t be ending with a kiss in the rain. That dates won’t be as well planned out but may be just as simple as dinner or watching a movie on a couch. And solutions to problems won’t always be so easy to find, but something you have to work hard at.

In the end, you realize that you have something that no fictional tale can replicate. You realize you have someone who cares and loves you. It’s a feeling within that lets you feel so happy that a smile that is only caused by one person is formed upon your face. And looking forward to the future becomes so much easier because you hope that you have that one person by your side no matter how it turns out. You have something imperfectly perfect.