I do my best to concentrate on the day. Even if it’s kind of a bad day. I don’t spend the time wishing for the next day to come. Cause if the next day is fucking bad, then I’m just wasting my life wishing for death.
Before I start this letter, let me
just preface it with the fact that I have been having some hand/nerve issues
and my writing may become disjointed because of that.
I first found out about y’all
four—almost five—years ago. The reason I got into y’all is probably a little
different than other fans. I’m an avid reader and one of the books I read said
to understand the book better, the reader needed to look up the lyrics to “Dear
God” by Avenged Sevenfold and then to listen to it. So, like a good reader, I
did. I fell in love with that song and had to hear more from this band. (I
thought y’all were country). The second song I heard was “Hail to the King” and
the change in pace and tempo made me love the band even more. I bought that
album (it had just come out) and started listening to all of your other songs.
It took about six months for me to get through all the albums, but when I had,
you had all awakened a part of me I didn’t know existed.
From my appreciation of your music,
I started looking into other hard rock and heavy metal bands. Obviously, I knew
who Metallica was, but I started digging into more of their stuff and even got
into Judas Priest and Pantera, bands my parents hated and bands I thought I
would never like.
When I got my resident assistant
job, I was listening to “MIA” and that song became my lucky one. Unfortunately,
some things in my life happened that might have torn down another person. It
was y’all and other metal bands that helped me through.
You see, I’m a soon-to-be college
graduate who has had a difficult six years, but the last two years of my life
have been rougher than I ever expected them to be.
It all started in November 2015
when I got this terrible lower abdominal pain. I thought it was cramps or ovulation
pain; the emergency room in Texas couldn’t find anything wrong with me. Flash
forward to winter break, and I’ve had this pain for four weeks now. My
wonderful mom got me into a surgeon, and I’d never been more nervous. I’d only
had my wisdom teeth removed, so an actual surgery terrified me. They took me in
and let me listen to a couple of songs (“Gunslinger” and “Strength of the
World”) before I went under. It turned out I had two ruptured cysts and
appendicitis. I easily could have gotten a terrible infection from either.
Time wears on, and I head back to
my university (University of North Texas, go Mean Green!). I’m an athlete, have
been for most of my life. I run/ran three times a week. My knee started to
dislocate when I ran, but I could just pop it back in place. Eventually, it got
to the point where running and even walking hurt too much. I waited until
summer and returned home to see what the hell was wrong.
From all my years of soccer and
running, and continuing to play soccer after a knee injury five years ago, I
had torn the ligament that attaches my femur to my patella—the most rare knee
surgery. A week before my knee surgery, my incredibly wonderful mother found
out that my alcoholic father had stolen and gambled away $3,000 from their joint
account. That same say, my father found out that his mother was dying. He flew
out to San Antonio to deal with that situation. Mom started the process for
divorce. Literally an hour before my knee surgery, I found out my grandmother
When I woke up, I was in the worst
pain of my life. My knee had to be immobile for four weeks before I could start
physical therapy. I was up every four hours to take Percocet, which we later
found out I’m allergic to. Having my leg (my dominate leg) taken away from me
and not being able to do things for myself filled me with anger. A lot of what
helped me through was y’all and bands similar to you. Post-knee surgery me was
the worst, but your music helped me through.
Fast forward again, and I’m now back at school in my final year (Fall 2016) and my life was looking up. I found
a publisher for my books, I would be turning 21 in November, and I’d get to see
my favorite band with my best friend at Texas Mutiny.
Texas Mutiny was the most
incredible concert of my life. I smuggled my DSLR camera in (don’t tell anyone)
and captured some of the best photos of my life. That concert helped me figure
out what I wanted to do with my photojournalism degree. And for my 21st
birthday, my friends surprised me with a signed vinyl of The Stage and several of your CDs. It cheered me up because my
birthday was on Election Day and very few people remembered it… which was
However, my life can’t always be
sunshine and rainbows. Nine days before my birthday, I was rushed to the ER
after puking up my guts. The ultrasound technician found five ovarian cysts.
Three of them were the size of my uterus, and I needed immediate surgery.
Because I’m a college student “immediate” meant my next time off. My
Thanksgiving break was recovery and more of your music. My wonderful mom came
down to Denton to help me through that surgery.
My 2016 winter break was spent
writing and getting my older sister to listen to your songs. She really enjoys
the white album and even some songs on The
Stage. I also examined that album and just fell in love with basically
every song. My cover for my book came in, and I got inspired to write a
collection of short stories based on songs. My favorite bands are featured
quite a bit… I hope that’s okay.
Now, I’m back at school again and
my stomach pain comes back. Two months after surgery and the ovarian cysts were
back. But something even worse happened at the end of January 2017. I’m a
writer and a photographer who depends on her hands for work and stress relief.
At the end of January, my hands
started to malfunction. They can’t fully flex of fist, they’re always cold,
they get numb and tingling, my wrists and elbows hurt, and my joints are very
stiff. My spring break was spent back in Reno getting tests done. They ruled
out anything wrong with my central nervous system—thank god—but the pain still
remains. And I was scared. I’m still scared actually. I have psoriatic
arthritis and it’s incurable. Really the only things helping me are music, the
Deathbat nation, my friends, and my mom. To make matters worse, my father had
two heart attacks and two surgeries right before I came home. He only has maybe
2-5 years left. He’s an asshole, but I love him.
I know that was the longest intro
ever, and y’all are probably wondering why I’m writing this at all at this
point. My name is Carmen, and I’m a photojournalist (almost) and recently
published author who just wants to thank you guys for everything you’ve done
for me and the other fans. So here’s my long list of thank yous.
To all the guys: thank you for
forming Avenged Sevenfold. Without you coming together, I wouldn’t have found a
lot of my friends. Your music has gotten me through some of the most difficult
situations in my life and your music has inspired my writing and made me a
better person (the writing portion). There’s something about your music that
just speaks to people and has made my life so much brighter. I can’t wait to
see you and Metallica in June!
To Brooks: I know you haven’t been
with the band long, but I’m glad you’re with them! I loved your drumming when
you were with Tenacious D and Bad Religion. You definitely remind me of the dad
friend out of all the guys, and I think it’s awesome to see what you add to the
band. Your drumming on The Stage is
also INSANE. I love what you did on “Angels.”
To Johnny Christ: I don’t think
you’re a gnome for starters. You’re much taller than my short ass. All jokes
aside, I love how you are on stage. You exude so much passion and energy; I
wish I had gotten more photos at Texas Mutiny. You sing/shouting on “Nightmare”
also adds a little depth to the song and never fails to put a smile on my face.
Oh! Congrats on your son.
To Zacky V: I’m ambidextrous
because I have to be from the hand issues, and I so rarely see left-handed musicians
that every time I watch you play, it gives me hope. I’m not musically inclined
at all, but knowing a lefty is out there brightens my day. You have such an
awesome style and your skill with the guitar is out of this world. I hope we
can get more solos from you.
To Synyster: dude, you are one of
the best guitarists I’ve heard, excluding Santana. I could pick your style out
so easily. The work you’ve done with A7X and Pinkly Smooth just blow me away. I
can’t believe someone can have talent and skill like that. You are a guitar
god, Mr. Haner.
To Shadows: as a writer, I most
easily connect with words. Your lyrics speak to me on a spiritual level (which
is probably why I have so many tatted on me). You have a way with words. And
your voice is so unique and every time I hear “Dear God,” I remember why this
band became my favorite. Just, thank you for doing what you do.
To the women of A7X (Val, Michelle,
Lacey, Megan, etc.): thank you guys for being you. I hope you know how much
love the Deathbat nation has for you. Without your support, the band probably
wouldn’t be where they are (no offense guys).
To the fans: thank you guys! I have
met so many amazing people through this band. Y’all have helped me through a
lot, and I’ve met some good friends through it. Sevenfold has cultivated a fan
base unlike any other, and I’d like to thank every Deathbat for who they are
and for being so caring and for taking care of me.
So, I just want to say thank you
from a fan who’s been through a lot and has made it through thanks, in part, to
your music and the most supportive mother ever. The only thing I have to add is
that my dream is to one day meet y’all and thank y’all in person. And this
final part is going to sound so fucking cheesy, but I hope y’all sign my
Deathbat and that the writer side of me gets to write your extended (not brief)
*UPDATE* Has been confirmed.
Unconfirmed by Avenged, but, Matt is apparently having vocal issues and they had to cancel tonight in Italy. 😔 So now A BUNCH OF THE ‘FANS’ ARE TALKING SHIT. TELLING THEM TO ‘SUCK A DICK’ AND ONE PERSON CALLED THEM SWINE.
Now. Now. I’m a peaceful person but go fuck yourself. I know it’s disappointing but he can’t risk the rest of his career by straining his vocal cords permanently. Refunds are in the works and you all complaining and being hateful, would you rather him force another show out and ruin his voice forever, or let him rest and make up the show to you all LIKE AVENGED ALWAYS DOES?! I’m fucking raging at this point. Don’t you call our boys swine. 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻