a-little-piece-of-me

Prompt List

Okay sooo I decided to make a prompt list in hopes of a few things. I’m aware I already have like 20 fic requests to write, but they take a little longer and I’m hoping to do these as a little filler in between. They’ll be shorter than the other asks, just a quick little piece, which will give me more time to work on other things and mean I don’t have to start making actual requests shorter instead. 

It’ll also be something I’ll have an easier time finding time to post when school starts back up, and hopefully you guys will ask me about these now more than Brandon/Miles (I’m sorry they’ve taken up my entire blog recently, Justlex stuff is coming now) :)

All these prompts are taken from lists others have already made, on here and on ao3. All credit for these prompts goes to them :)

  1. “I’m going to die.”
  2. “No, please don’t leave me.”
  3. “I can’t believe you did that.”
  4. “You look like you’re going to pass out.”
  5. “I can’t believe he did that to you.”
  6. “I don’t deserve to live.”
  7. “Where did you get those scars?”
  8. “Leave me alone.”
  9. “Give me a chance.”
  10. “I don’t love you anymore.”
  11. “We can’t keep this up forever.”
  12. “I hate you.”
  13. “I never meant to hurt you.”
  14. “Are you upset with me?”
  15. “Thanks for nothing.”
  16. “You need to leave.”
  17. “So that’s it? It’s over?”
  18. “I fucked up.”
  19. “Are you flirting with me?”
  20. “I like your face.”
  21. “You’re a sap.”
  22. “Can I have your shirt?”
  23. “Is that my jacket?”
  24. “Boom! I’m your date.”
  25. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”
  26. “You’re special to me.”
  27. “I’m going to keep you safe.”
  28. “Do you trust me?”
  29. “Can I kiss you right now?”
  30. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”
  31. “I’ve liked you for a while now.”
  32. “We’d make such a cute couple.”
  33. “It’s lonely here without you.”
  34. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”
  35. “Shut up and kiss me already.”
  36. “I want to protect you.”
  37. “Stop being so cute.”
  38. “You’re teasing me again…”
  39. “This is why I fell in love with you.”
  40. “Are you jealous?”
  41. “Stop hogging all the blankets.”
  42. “Why are you naked?”
  43. “Bite me.”
  44. “Fight me.”
  45. “First you slide into my DMs and then my bedroom window.”
  46. “I’m a freak in other places too.”
  47. “Damn baby!”
  48. “Would you stop that!”
  49. “Glasses?”
  50. “Touch him again and you’re dead.”
  51. “My parents are outta town.”
  52. “Oh so I’m the freak?”
  53. “I don’t want you near him.”
  54. “Don’t stop.”
  55. “How the fuck did you get a hickey there?”
  56. “Never in your wildest dreams.”
  57. “Appreciate what I do for you, even just for once.”
  58. “I despise you too, so don’t think that I’m fine with you texting me.”
  59. “I knew you would end up together.”
  60. “We have unfinished business here.”
  61. “Can I have a good luck kiss?”
  62. “How’s the taste of defeat?”
  63. “You look sexy in these glasses.”
  64. “You seem sad.”
  65. “I’m just tired.”
  66. “I didn’t bring you here to tease me.”
  67. “You need that more than I do.”
  68. “He’s jealous.”
  69. “I’m an idiot heartless man for making you cry.”
  70. “You’re not obliged to save me.”
  71. “He never left my side, mostly when I needed him the most.”
  72. “Can a broken heart damage my body system?”
  73. “I’m trying to be nice here.”
  74. “I’m starting to question my sexuality.”
  75. “Am I the only one who ships them?”
  76. “I’m here, I care for you.”
  77. “Without you in this world? I would be lost.”
  78. “You’re really beautiful when you smile.”
  79. “You can sleep on the couch or sleep beside me, it’s up to you.”
  80. “I missed sleeping with you.”
  81. “Idiot, you made me worry!”
  82. “Why are you so quiet?”
  83. “What does that kiss mean?”
  84. “Get your ass over here so I can have some rest.”
  85. “What the fuck was that for?”
  86. “I will die if you continue doing that thing.”
  87. “C’mon, let me hug you tight.”
  88. “I’m fine.”
  89. “Are you drunk?”
  90. “Are you high?”
  91. “Well, this is just great.”
  92. “Don’t touch me.”
  93. “Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person.”
  94. “You did what?!”
  95. “That wasn’t funny.”
  96. “This tastes horrible.”
  97. “Are you mad at me?”
  98. “Stop ignoring me.”
  99. “Take that back.”
  100. “Don’t fuck this up.”
  101. “I haven’t slept in four days.”
  102. “Was I really that drunk?”
  103. “Was I really that stoned?”
  104. “You’re an asshole.”
  105. “Are you cold?”
  106. “I can take care of myself just fine.”
  107. “Thanks for helping me back there.”
  108. “Since when have we ever been friends?”
  109. “What the hell are you wearing?”
  110. “Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night.”
  111. “This isn’t what it looks like! Well, maybe it is.”
  112. “This is awkward.”

Ask away!!

He took something from me. He took little pieces of me. Little pieces over time. So small I didn’t notice. You know? He wanted me to be something I wasn’t. And I made myself into what he wanted.
—  Christina Yang

A DARKER SHADE OF MAGIC / A GATHERING OF SHADOWS by v. e. schwab sentence meme.

  • ❛  I’d rather die on an adventure than live standing still.  ❜
  • ❛  After all, you can kill people, but you cannot kill magic. Not truly.  ❜
  • ❛  Impossible. What a useless word, in a world with magic.  ❜
  • ❛  Everyone thinks I have a death wish, you know? But I don’t want to die – dying is easy. No, I want to live, but getting close to death is the only way to feel alive. And once you do, it makes you realize that everything you were actually doing before wasn’t actually living. It was just making do. Call me crazy, but I think we do the best living when the stakes are high.  ❜
  • ❛  You have two faces. One you wear for the world at large, and the one you wear for those you love.  ❜
  • ❛  Everyone’s immortal until they’re not.  ❜
  • ❛  It is as it is. It cannot be undone. So please, be grateful, and be done with it.  ❜
  • ❛  The thing about freedom? It doesn’t come naturally. Almost no one has it handed to them. I’m free because I fought for it.  ❜
  • ❛  I know you can do this. I know you can hear me. Stay with me. Listen to my voice.  ❜
  • ❛  Maybe you just got a taste of what it really means to be alive. You almost died. So now you know what it feels like to live. To fear for that life. To fight for it. And once you know, well, there’s no going back.  ❜
  • ❛  You made a mistake. Everybody makes them. Even me. I’ve made many. It’s only fair that you made one.  ❜
  • ❛  I did only what I had to do. If I could have given my life for yours, I would have.  ❜
  • ❛  A kiss for luck. Not that I need it.  ❜
  • ❛  I know. I know what and who you are. What will you do? Kill me?  ❜
  • ❛  Why am I the only one in this fucking world to be held accountable for my actions?  ❜
  • ❛  Aren’t you afraid of dying?  ❜
  • ❛  I’m sorry. For whatever happened to you. For whoever hurt you so deeply that you see things like friends and fondness as weapons instead of shields.  ❜
  • ❛  You know so little of war. Battles may be fought from the outside in, but wars are won from the inside out.  ❜
  • ❛  Between the two of us, we’ll tear the whole world down.  ❜
  • ❛  I am going to cut that smile off your face.  ❜
  • ❛  It hurts. More than dying ever did. There are days when I feel like I deserve this.  ❜
  • ❛  Death doesn’t scare me. Not nearly as much as the idea of wasting a perfectly good life in fear of it.  ❜
  • ❛ You’re always so eager to slash and stab, why couldn’t you have stabbed him.  ❜
  • ❛  Which is it, huh? You’re angry at me, or worried about me, or happy to see me? Because I can’t keep up.  ❜
  • ❛  Wouldn’t it be amazing, if we got away with it?  ❜

Keep reading

dec. 26, 2016: what NOT TO DO vs. what TO DO as a student

hey, everyone!!!

after rambling on and on about my first semester as a high school junior in this post, I have decided to compile a list of tips (if u can call them that) of things you should think of doing versus things you SHOULD NOT DO, LIKE, EVER as a student! i’m planning on following these things during the upcoming semester.

DO NOT:

  1. Study everything the day before your exam. First of all, it’s just too much stress. Plus, there’s no way you’ll be able to remember everything while testing. Just, don’t do it. I had done this multiple times last semester, and I just never want to experience something like that ever again. Here is a way to break your study time/material into chunks. Here is another way.
  2. Eat nothing in school. (Unless it’s Ramadan or something.) You need to eat, you’ll feel dizzy and weak and your health will be negatively affected without (HEALTHY) food. That happened to me. What I (generally) take to school are a few crackers, my own homemade cheese ‘dip’ (or some Babybel/string cheese), yogurt, and a little candy bar.
  3. Spend too much time in the bathroom/shower. This is THE WORST thing I do to myself…this is my “go-to” method of procrastination. I just shower or spend time in the bathroom for, like A LOT OF TIME per day. Just take this as a little piece of advice from me: don’t spend time you could be practicing for that math test, badly singing Whitney Houston songs. Just don’t. Your future self will thank you.
  4. Study continuously for prolonged periods of time. I HATE sitting down for a long time, oh my gosh. My back hurts, my butt hurts, I start to get drowsy. Refer to tip #9 of the “Do’s” for a solution.
  5. Start a TV show during the school year. Unless you have PERFECT time management skills, just don’t get hooked into a TV show. I’m 99.98% sure you’ll binge-watch and regret your life. I’m really glad I didn’t start watching Gossip Girl last semester, and I’m not gonna do it this next semester, either.

DO:

  1. Invest in a planner or start a bullet journal. I’ve used both methods. Just get any cheap old notebook, or, if you can afford it and you want to, splurge a little and just record all upcoming events and everything you need to do. You don’t have to spend 1229834 hours decorating your planner/bujo like the perfect ones you see here on tumblr. Maybe add a little color code, a little doodle here and there. Just decorate it however you want (or don’t!!!) as long as you’re not taking away precious study time. I personally have a 2017 planner that I’ve recently started to use, so I’m just gonna stick with that, tbh.
  2. Designate a day per week/two weeks to just review past/current material taken in a particular course. Okay, in the past I’ve been too lazy to actually do this, but I AM gonna start doing this next semester. I’m probably leave the weekend for physics and chemistry, and maybe Sunday for biology…I think I’m gonna make a specific post about that later.
  3. Stay hydrated! Oh my gosh, this one is so important. Whenever I don’t bring a water bottle to school, I end up cranky, sleepy, and suffering from a headache. For those reasons, I think it is always a good idea to take a water bottle with you to school.
  4. Find time to exercise. It is rather hypocritical of me, a lazyass slob, to say this, but you pretty much ALWAYS have SOME time during the week for a workout. Even once or twice. Not gonna lie to myself anymore.
  5. Do as much “homework” as you can in school. I have a total of 45 minutes of break per school day, so I’m going to use those to do work. The only problem I have is finding someplace I won’t be distracted by my friends. I think I’ve got that covered, though.
  6. Organize your binders/folders/whatever frequently. Just do it and YOU WILL NOTICE A BIG DIFFERENCE in how quickly you finish your tasks. I have an expandable file folder in which I keep any papers/notes/stuff I write or receive throughout the week, and then after the end of the week I spend time filing them into big binders for each subject.
  7. Maintain a clean and tidy room + desk. I literally CANNOT focus if my study area is messy. My grades DROP. It’s hard to study when you have an area the size of a large textbook to do work in, and a pile of papers/clothes/BOTH at your feet. I advise you to tidy (which does NOT mean redecorate) your desk before your study session, just to get some more space to think and do work.
  8. Join some kind of school club/extracurricular activity. Joining my school’s Model UN has given me so much joy and I’ve met so many wonderful people. I really advise you all to join something!! Just remember, manage your time wisely!!!
  9. Use the Pomodoro method to study. It’s simple yet effective. Try it and you’ll understand what I mean. I’ve especially aced a ton of memorization-based tests because of this method.
  10. Start working on projects early. Not only does this reduce stress levels, it also may help you boost your grade! If you experience any issues, you can just write your question(s) down on a little sticky note and ask your teacher instead of panicking at 1 AM!!!!

Good luck to us all!!! <3 Rawan

BTS Reactions to you being the “weird silent/shy girl” (you are classmates in the first year of high school)

Disclaimer: being shy and/or silent will not mean that you are automatically a cute ball of fluff like in most movies (to those that are shy and cute at the same time, bless your souls, I love you!!! 💕 )
Warning: I swear a lot.

Jin 

He would be quite interested in the fact that you almost never talk and you’re always on your phone or PC. He would also understand that it is hard for you to make friends since you were shy so he would decide to become your friend, even if it wasn’t easy. He would often have lunch with you and spend many breaks just talking about random topics!  But this friendship wouldn’t last for long since he would soon enough become your boyfriend. 😉

Suga

Yoongi is not sociable himself, so he would completely understand you. He wouldn’t, however, make the first move. I think that the rest of the boys and of course your best friend ___ (the only friend you had, actually) would try everything to get you two isolated in the same room so you can talk. After spending some quality time locked in the storage closet of the school you two would become …friends… really close friends…with benefits…

External image

Jhope

Since Hobi is the most sociable and friendly out of Bangtan I think that the second he noticed that he had a new girl in class, you, he would do anything to talk to you and become friends. When he saw that you started blushing and tried to avoid anything he would smile bright and tell you jokingly: 
“Y/N you don’t have to be shy around me…. Let me see the true  weirdo that you are” 

Rap Monster

Since he is a highly philosophical person, he would try to understand the reasons for your shyness.Because of his curiosity to find more about you and the reasons to why you were so silent and shy, he would approach you more and more. When he saw that you had so much in common he at first would want to be friends but this feeling would soon change into lust and desire to make you his. 

Jimin

Aah.. This fluffy ball of sunshine and perviness. Well, he is quite shy too (or this is what he wants you to believe) so in my opinion, much like in  Yoongi’s situation, the other members would step in to help you. But this time they would somehow oblige him to ask you on a date since everybody knew that you had a crush on him, except him of course. You two would have a cute date eating ice cream and (all those summer things that I miss doing).


Well, Taehuyng is in Jhope’s category. He is extremely outgoing and he would love to have a new friend, well at first not knowing that you are shy and this is actually the reason that you avoid him he would be quite disappointed. But when he finally understood that you are actually really shy he would try to take things slowly. He would try to become friends with you by leaving you sweets and small toys on your desk every so often with cute small messages like:
“ Hey Y/N this is for you. I hope you like it… please talk to me T…T”  

Jungkook 

This little piece of shit =.= makes me really really confused. On one hand, he is really outgoing and on the other hand, he is even shyer than most of the shyest ones.Soo…. since this shitty kid confuses me so much I’m going to make two fucking versions for him. 
Shy Kookie: Well, he would want to be friends with you but since he was too shy to directly talk to you he would try to find a way to talk to you and be near you without getting caught. For example, he would try and add you to a huge ass group conversation wich like was his plan but everybody helps him because he is a piece of shit like that. 
Call me Daddy Guk: This boy would be like really straightforward and come to you flirting and asking you to dates, and no he would fucking care about you dying of embarrassment in front of him. He would straight up pick you over his shoulder and carry you to that date. 

When I discovered the horrible news about Chester’s passing 2 days ago, a little piece of me died with him. I want to thank you Chester for all these years you brought me comfort and joy with your music, I will never forget the impact you and Linkin Park had on my life. Thank you for being there when no one else was. Thank you for being you. 💔

Jason Calls Batman "Dad"
Waiting4Codot (written by the-mistress-morrigan)

FULL CREDIT TO @the-mistress-morrigan FOR THIS CONVERSATION

Bruce: good job.

Jason: thanks dad

Thugs and riddler: …

Jason: what?

Thug: you just called Batman dad.

Jason: no I said said thanks man.

Bruce: do you see me as a father figure?

Jason: if anything I see you as a BOTHER figure cus you’re always bothering me

Riddler: don’t talk to your father like that

This was fun to record, and it’s been a long week, so it was a nice way to cap it off. I just added a bit at the end, because I think the villains would find a slip up like that to be HILARIOUS. Also, that is a legit Riddler snort. Total accident, but I’m keeping it in there. It can be the little piece of me that I work into these recordings.

Tom Holland Imagine: Broken

Summary: after getting out of a toxic relationship, you meet a very handsome boy on your train. (Loosely based off of both Yes Girl and I Can’t Breathe by Bea Miller)

A/N: sorry for being gone for so long… writers block kicked in…😤

Warnings: physical and mental abuse

————————————————

I let out a sigh of relief as the train took off down the tracks. I watched as the town I once knew and loved flew passed me. I wondered what He would do when He came home from work to find me gone. I fidgeted with the strap of my duffle bag before deciding to pull out my book to help the time pass.

“Hello? Sorry to disturb you, but would you mind if I sat here?” A voice said.

I shook my head without meeting the stranger’s eye. Yes, I would prefer to be sitting by myself but considering I bought the last ticket for this train, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I heard the stranger let out a heavy sigh as he placed his bag under his seat.

“Whatcha readin there? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Uh, it’s called Ordinary People. By Judith Guest. It’s my favorite book, I’ve read it like 10 times.”

“Huh, maybe I’ll read it sometime.”

“Oh you definitely should, its incredible.”

I finally looked up from my book to see a very handsome boy smiling at me.

“I’m Tom by the way.” He said as he extended his hand to me.

“Uh, I’m Y/N.” I said as I shook his hand.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

I blushed at his compliment and closed my book and looked back up at the him.

“So what’s bringing you to the city? And by train? Not many people go on these anymore.”

Tom smiled and looked out the window.

“Well, I do a lot of traveling. I’m always in the air and so I just wanted to see the trees for a change. And I’m staying in the city, actually. I just felt like I was going insane from only seeing buildings and angry people everywhere I went and I need some time to figure things out so I found the smallest town I could find outside of Atlanta and left for the weekend. What about you?”

“Uh, that’s a story for another time…”

“That’s alright. Let it be yours.”

“Well, your accent gives it away that you don’t live here, so why are you in America?”

“I’m an actor. Filming a movie.”

“Oh, I love movies! What movie are you filming?”

Tom let out a light laugh as he looked down and fiddled with his thumbs.

“Uh, Spider-Man, actually.”

“Wait, really!? I love Spider-Man! Are you the guy that plays him in Civil War? I haven’t gotten to see it yet but I want to so bad. See, my boyfri- ex boyfriend wouldn’t let me go see it.”

I looked down to avoid Tom’s confused face, hoping it would give him the hint to not ask any questions.

“Well, maybe I can take you to go see it sometime.”

“Uh, yeah! But if you don’t want to you don’t have to. I’m sure you’ve already seen it like 500 times…”

“Yeah, but never with a girl as beautiful as you.”

“Pft, are you kidding me? Have you seen Scarlett Johansson!?”

Before Tom could reply I heard my phone go off. I reached into my bag to pull it out and felt my heart stop.

No.

He wasn’t supposed to be home this early.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach as I looked at His name written on the screen.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned my phone off before shoving it back in my bag.

I felt Tom’s gaze on me. I looked up and gave him a weak smile, trying to get him to drop it.

Luckily, he did.

—3 months later—

I laid on the couch, wrapped up in Tom’s arms. We started dating shortly after we met. I didn’t think I would be able to date anyone for while after what happened with Him but, Tom was different. I knew he was different because he cared.

Unlike Him. I knew He was searching for me. I had been forced to ditch my phone and buy a new one to get Him to stop calling me and leaving hurtful voicemails.

Now, 3 months later, the thoughts of Him felt like only a distant memory of a childhood nightmare.

But that quickly changed.

Tom and I were watching The Way Way Back when it happened.

First there was the pounding on the door.

“I’ll get it, love.” Tom sweetly whispered in my ear. He kissed the side of my face and got up from the couch.

I instantly missed the feeling of his arms around me. I turned my attention back to the film, thinking it was just Harrison who forgot his key again.

But then I heard it.

I heard Tom’s angelic voice asking who they were but getting cut off by a punch to the jaw.

And then His voice calling out my name.

I sat up immediately and felt my self beginning to hyperventilate.

But while I was breathing hard, it felt like there was no oxygen in my body at all.

As His figure walked into the room, I felt myself black out from fear.

I didn’t even feel Him pick me up by my hair and throw me into the glass coffee table.

I didn’t even feel the blood begin to fall from my skin from where the glass had cut it open.

I didn’t even hear Tom scream my name.

I didn’t hear Tom tackling the guy.

I didn’t hear Harrison come in and call the police.

I didn’t hear the ambulance as they asked me questions.

But I watched all of it.

I could see everything.

I could see Tom attacking Him.

I could see Tom as he stood over me, crying.

I could see his lips saying words like, “Please say something, love” or “Please don’t leave me” as tears slipped from his eyes.

I woke up hours later. I looked around and saw Tom sitting to my right, holding my hand tightly as he cried into my side.

“Tom?” I asked.

His head whipped up and let out a sigh of relief when he saw me awake. He immediately began to pepper my face with kisses and held me tightly to him.

“Thank god you’re okay. He’s gone, Y/N. They’ve locked Him up. You never have to worry about Him again. I have you and I will always protect you. I love you, Y/N. So much.”

And those words, those few words, put every little broken piece in me back together.

There’s a little piece of me that holds on to the hope that maybe one day, we’ll make it. And maybe it’s silly and it’s certainly unrealistic because if you came back, I wouldn’t take you. I wouldn’t let myself get hurt like that again. I wouldn’t give you every part of myself just to watch you break it. But I still think about you sometimes and what we could have been. I still think about where I would be if you were still in my life. I still think about how open and loving and kind I was when I was with you, and how bitter and sad and heartbroken I became the day after you left.

But if you asked me if I would change anything about what happened between us, I wouldn’t say yes. Because I came out of this knowing I gave it all I had. I came out of this knowing I loved you as much as I humanly could. I came out of this knowing there wasn’t anything else I could have done to make you stay. I came out of this knowing I tried everything. And you can’t say the same, because you didn’t try as hard as I did. You’re the reason this is broken and sad and ugly. You’re the reason this isn’t beautiful anymore. It was your hands that did that, not mine. I don’t have anything to be ashamed of. You can’t say the same.

I mourned you because you were something worth mourning, because I had something I cared about, and I’m lucky to say I was a part of something like that. I’m lucky to have loved you so deeply. I’m lucky to have spiraled into a horrible heartbreak. And I’m lucky I learned how to pick myself back up. I learned how to be by myself. I learned to trust again. I learned how to be kind again. I learned how to love again. I may have fallen down, but I came back stronger. And you can’t say the same. You can’t celebrate yourself the way I can. You have nothing to celebrate.

One Moment (Day 3: Secret Admirer)

For @carryon-valentines

Summary: Another gosh darn soulmate AU. 

Word count: 1412

Warnings: This is hella angsty. People are punched. Baz is sad. It’s gr8 


I’m not even going to pretend I don’t know it. Simon Snow is beautiful. He’s kind. He’s a fucking mess. And he’s my soulmate.

I couldn’t be sure until I touched him, but I didn’t want to be sure. I lasted seven years without touching him, because I was afraid to touch. I was afraid of my feelings for him being real. Simon Snow already occupied my mind day and night even in black and white; he was my obsession. I was afraid that if I ever touched him, if I ever figured out what color his eyes really were, it would drive me insane.

In the beginning of our time as roommates, Simon and I acted civil toward each other, but everything changed during fifth year. That year, I started to think about what color Simon’s lips were. That year, I started to wonder why Wellbelove wanted to kiss him when his lips were always so chapped. That year, I started to wonder what his chapped lips would feel like against mine. Actually, I didn’t start wondering about that during fifth year. I simply figured out why I was wondering it in the first place.

The realization came one evening over dinner. He was sitting with his friends, and I was sitting with mine. It was all very normal. It was normal to see Wellbelove smiling at Simon; and it was normal to see Simon smiling back. The pang of jealousy I felt, however, was not normal. It had finally hit me.

That evening, I stayed in the catacombs later than usual. I drained a few extra rats, and tried not to cry. I tried not to cry over the fact that I was in love with Simon Snow.

When I finally made my way back to the room, Simon had already taken his shirt off and begun climbing into bed. He mumbled his usual, “G’night, Baz.”

Instead of my usual hum of acknowledgement, I replied with, “Oh, piss off, Snow.”

I remember him turning and looking at me like I had just spat in his face, before I turned and entered the bathroom. I made sure to slam the door behind me.  

My father could deal with the fact that I was a vampire. He could accept me even though I am not exactly alive. But my father would never accept me if he knew my soulmate was the Mage’s heir. So, I didn’t want to accept it either.

From then on, I made it my mission to make sure Simon Snow wanted nothing to do with me. I insulted him. I embarrassed him. I flirted with Wellbelove. Crowley, I even pushed him down the stairs! Unfortunately, my plans backfired. From then on, Simon wouldn’t leave me alone. Everyday he’d wake up and follow me around the school grounds, making sure I didn’t “cause any trouble.” Sometimes, I thought that he was more obsessed me, than I was with him. But that was impossible.

There were so many times that Simon almost touched me. Each time, I’d pull away from him right before our skin could make contact and feign disgust. Each time, through the filter of gray that clouded our eyes, I saw a little piece of Simon break. That little piece did more to me than I ever wanted to admit. Still, I kept on pushing him away. I kept trying to make him despise me. I never pushed him completely over the edge though. One of us would always storm off, before I got the chance. That was until one day in seventh year.

It started off like any other day, and it ended like any other day: with me coming back from the catacombs at a ridiculous hour, and Simon pretending like he was asleep (like he wasn’t waiting for me to return). Everything was normal, until Simon sat up.

“Back from draining a first year?” he asked. I rolled my eyes, as I gathered my things and prepared to change into my pajamas. Simon persisted. “I know you’re a vampire.”

I sighed before before replying, “Of course, Snow. I’m also the bloody queen.” I didn’t turn to look at him. I just listened to his bed creak as he stood up.

“So, you don’t deny it?” he asked. I turned to him. “Ever heard of sarcasm, Snow?” I scoffed as I continued, “I figured you of all people could take a joke, considering you are one.”

Simon glared at me. “What?”

I sneered. “Did I stutter?”  

Simon growled, “Baz, listen–”

“No, Snow, you listen to me,” I interrupted. “I’m as much of a vampire as you are the chosen one.”

Simon scrunched up his nose. I smirked. “Let me make this clear, in case you’re too dumb to figure it out on your own. I’m not a vampire, and you’re not the chosen one.”

I watched Simon and pretended his frustration was amusing me. He clenched his fists and gnashed his teeth. I could tell he was trying, and failing, to keep calm. It hurt to watch. I pushed farther. “Everyone may think you are,” I spat, “but I know that there’s no way in hell that an idiot like you could ever be the chosen one.” I could tell he was almost there. That’s when I told him, “I bet The Mage knows it, too. You’re not the chosen one. You were just a tool. His ticket to becoming headmaster–”

That’s when I felt it. His fist against my cheek. It impacted harder than I expected. I gasped as I held my face. The inside of my cheek had been sliced open on one of my teeth, and blood drooled out of my mouth onto the floor. At first, I didn’t notice it. It was dark, and I was in pain. But on the always white carpet, next to my alway black shoes, I saw a hint of red.

I didn’t have to look at him to know that he was gaping at me like an idiot. I didn’t want to look at him. I was afraid. I hadn’t been that afraid in a long time, because I knew when I looked up my whole world was going to change. So, we stood in silence, while I worked up the courage, as my eyes filled with tears.

I prayed that Simon would want nothing to do with me afterwards. That I could keep pretending I wasn’t in love with him. That everything would stay the same. But, when I looked up at him, nothing was the same.

I was no stranger to building walls around my heart. It’s much easier to push everyone away than to risk getting your heart broken. Over time, though, my walls had begun to deteriorate, and looking into Simon’s eyes was one final blow that sent my walls crashing down around me. And as the walls fell, tears began streaming down my face. That’s when another realization hit me: I didn’t want to pretend not to love Simon Snow, because I did love him. I loved him so much. I thought it would kill me, before I got the chance to tell him just how much.

It’s strange to think about how much changed in just one moment. Before that moment, only three things mattered to me: 1) I didn’t want Simon Snow to be my soulmate, 2) he was my soulmate anyway, and 3) that I never wanted him to know we were soulmates.

As I stood, crying, staring into his eyes, none of it seemed to matter anymore. What mattered was how gently he was touching my face, how he was wiping away my tears instead of making fun of me for them, how he was closing his eyes and leaning into me, and then how he was kissing me.

It wasn’t the kind kissing that haunted my dreams at night; it wasn’t violent or painful. It was soft and full of all the kind words that I wish I had said to him since we first met.

After Simon pulled his lips away from mine, he whispered something I had never imagined, not even in my wildest fantasies. He whispered something that came as more of a shock than Simon Snow standing shirtless in our room snogging me.

“I love you, Baz… since first year, I think.”

Our first kiss was full of remorse, but our second was full of promise.

I love him so much.