a-life-without-me

Wait a second ...

So Robin is leaving Zelena because she’s Zelena, right? Ok, well let’s say that Marian had actually really been Marian. Robin still would’ve gotten her pregnant and I think he would’ve actually had a happy ending with his wife. Basically, had they not brought in this Zelena “plot twist” Robin would have lived his life happily with Marian and their two children. Damn, what a soulmate.

sunsetofdoom asked:

I'm wondering if there is anyone running the blog or following it that is unmedicated? No beef with medicated people, but I have had bad experiences and would rather stay off of them. Except everyone, including my therapist, tells me that I won't be able to function without them in my adult life. So is there anyone who doesn't medicate that can tell me college/adult life are survivable without ADHD meds?

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 28, so I got my undergrad degree without medication. After I was diagnosed I was on meds for a while, and then I wasn’t, and then I was again. I stopped the last time because of side effects, and then my husband and I decided to reproduce so I have a baby now and it will probably be at least a year before I start to think about meds again (unless we decide to have another kidlet, then we’re looking at two or three years).

It takes a lot of hard work to be able to manage without medication, but lots of people do it. I’ve done a lot of wrangling to get my life to fit my ADHD instead of trying to get my ADHD to fit my life. I’m a stay-at-home-mom and I work part-time from home because this is better for my anxiety and my ADHD. (But I’m lucky that my husband makes enough that I don’t have to work outside the home.)

Have a look at our list of treatment options and print it off to show your therapist. I would particularly recommend ADHD coaching, since that should be about learning management techniques and figuring out how to hack your life to fit your ADHD.

-J

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Also just a huge shoutout to the literal love of my life. He does nothing but build me up and encourage me and help make things happen for me. He’s entirely selfless and the most genuinely full of love man I have ever met and I could not be where I am right now in my life without him. Truly he has taught me so much about life and I love him with alllllll my soul.

OUAT is not about hope. It’s about you having to forgive the people who abused you.

Because they “deserve a second chance” even when they’re not sorry. Because they “deserve a chance to be a hero”, too.

Where’s my hope? Where’s my justice? Where’s my chance to be treated as an equal?

I didn’t want power. I wanted to live without fear for twelve years of my life without some strange boogeyman known as my birth father kidnapping me while I was on the playground simply because I was no more to him but an item.

I wanted to live.

I wanted that hope.

This isn’t a series about hope. Maybe it had been once.

Not anymore.

Even if the two hour finale “clears it up” the damage has been done. That’s an ENTIRE season lost to this trash and that half-assed message. Not even sure how to tag this because I’m at my wit’s end.

Love Actually | May | Catelyn and Brynden

lady–catelyn-stark

“You know I’ve ever been without Hoster,” Brynden said as he and Cat sat side by side by Hoster’s hospital bed. His older brother breathed in shallow, hoarse breaths that seemed painful and he seemed so weak and faded. Gaunt. This wasn’t the boy who knocked him out of a tree three times when they were small. It wasn’t the teenager who shoved him at the girl at that stupid bloody tea dance their parents made them go to. This wasn’t the brother who had been an affection pain in his ass all his life. This was some odd shadow of him. “He’s lived without me but I’ve never been without him. Strange…Never thought of it like that before”

I have realized that if I died tonight there would be little damage. My parents who are probably sick of me would mourn me then move on, my friends too. You guys haven’t even met you and you’ll feel a little tang but eventually that would drift to the back of your mind. Life can go on without me and what if one little life with a almost non-existent future going to affect?

Anders: +15 rivalry
Me: Oops, clicked the wrong thing. *reloads*

Carver: +15 rivalry
Me: Sorry, was I breathing again?

Bethany: +15 rivalry
Me: Dammit, how do I keep misclicking.

Fenris: +15 rivalry
Me: Shit, I forgot to take him out of the party before accepting this.

Merrill: +15 rivalry
Me: Wait, how did - oh come on, for not dealing with the demon? Really?

Sebastian: +15 rivalry
Me: *long stare* Do I really want the friendship path this badly? Ugh, fine.

Aveline: +15 rivalry
Me: Okay, that’s fair.

Varric: +15 rivalry
Me: Huh, really? Okay, I can see that now.

Isabela: +15 rivalry
Me: Wait, what?
Me: …
Me: … no, literally, what the fuck did I do.

Help a disabled trans woman survive poverty

Hey, so over the past month I haven’t been able to work due to a tooth infection that left me bedridden and my only computer I rely on for self employment being broken.  And on top of that my bank account is overdrafted and my mental illness has been getting more severe due to all of the stress from this situation, making it even harder.

This has left me completely without money for bills and life expenses and right now I have no other options but to ask the internet for help, as I have no family to turn to and nothing of value left to sell and all of my bills are due soon. I need at least $500 to pay my bills and get a new computer so I can get things back on track.

If you can please donate via this link or send money to facelessidiot@gmail.com or reblog this that would be mega appreciated, thanks so much in advance.

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techibana:

▶ José González [x] Heartbeats

One night of magic rush
The start a simple touch
One night to push and scream
And then relief
Ten days of perfect tunes
The colors red and blue
We had a promise made
We were in love

Some day I’ll look across a table and I’ll see you. It might be in a small cafe or an outdoor coffee shop, but you’ll still be there. You’ll ask me about my life without you and where it’s taken me. I’ll ask you about Europe and if you’ve met anyone else along the way. We’ll look at each other and even though we won’t want to admit it, we’ll feel something. Whether it’s pain that we hid from years ago or lust for someone we were never meant to be with. And I’ll hide myself behind a cup that’s the size of my face and I’ll sip tea to clear the lodge in my throat. I’ll fight back the tears for as long as I can, but you know. One look from you and my world is over. You know me, you’ll see it in my eyes. You’ll make a joke and I’ll laugh, or I’ll say that “right now isn’t the time to do that.” Because how could you possibly joke when I’m still falling apart? I know what you’re doing and I know you’re just trying to make me laugh, but why are you so okay with this? I’ll look at you and I’ll see a blank expression. I’ll ask you over and over again what you’re thinking and you’ll answer with “I don’t know.” You’ll keep that same look in your light blue eyes that you had years ago and I’ll hate how I can’t read you, just the same. We’ll get up, shake hands, maybe even hug. I don’t know where life will take us after that, or if life will take us to that point to begin with. All I know is that I hope I see you again. I hope I look across that table and see your smile, just one more time.
—  Future (s.s)

‘A life without banana icecream is a life not worth living’ - me after surviving two months without a blender, speaking profoundly through a mouthful of this fluffy goo

GUESS WHAT, SHADY’S BACK BISHES! Prepare yourselves for the icecream apocalypse! I don’t even understand how my body has functioned without it (scientists get on this, stat).

This blobby tower was constructed by blending 3 frozen bananas, ¼ of a teaspoon of @heilalavanilla ground vanilla powder, a handful of pitted medjool dates, a sprinkling of cinnamon, and a dash of unsweetened oat milk. I then piled it up, crowned it with squishy banana coins, and drizzled it with melted Raw Cacao @pana_chocolate from the amazing critters @naturalthingsnz (who have ROSE Pana Chocolate in for Mother’s Day so prepare your bellies and wallets!) for an extra taste explosion. It took me approximately 13.6 seconds to hoover this sweet thang up, and I’m already planning another for lunch! Never take your blenders and fresh fruit for granted, peeps, we are so lucky 🍨🌿

People telling me they like/read my fic is such an odd emotion. I go from “you’re a filthy liar and I won’t believe anything you say for the rest of your life, LEAVE.” to “omg, stop, are you serious?” to “I want to swaddle you in a blanket, rock you like a baby, and tell you how important you are to me and that I love everything you do and I appreciate your soul” It’s super complicated.

Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids

Halfway through reading this I tweeted (as a joke): 

Which was unfair and reductive, of course, as many jokes are. 

A few people tweeted and wrote to me to tell me how fulfilled and exciting their lives were as writers, and yes, they were childless. A few other people tweeted me to say how empty they thought a life without children was, as if we had picked some side in a battle and we needed to stick together as allies to defeat the enemy.

Which made me think of Geoff Dyer’s essay in the collection:

I’m not claiming that I don’t need to have kids because my so-called work is fulfilling and gives my life meaning. To be honest, I’m slightly suspicious of the idea of an anthology of writers writing about not having kids. Obviously any anthology of writing is, by definition, full of stuff by writers, but if this is a club whose members feel they have had to sacrifice the joys of family life for the higher vocation and fulfillment of writing, then I don’t want to be part of it. Any exultation of the writing life is as abhorrent to me as the exultation of family life. Writing just passes the time and, like any kind of work, brings in money. If you want to make sure I never read a line you’ve written, tell me about the sacrifices you’ve made in order to get those lines written.

One of my twitter friends, obviously referencing this book, tweeted: “Trying to understand the raison d’etre for a book by people who’ve chosen not to have children. Does anyone really care?” Another tweeted, “Other than your parents, possibly, nobody cares about your decision to have or not have children. #StopTheThinkpieceInsanity”

In Meghan Daum’s introduction, she says:

Of the many dozens of writers I approached (all of whom had at least hinted, in their work or in interviews, that having children was never high on the agenda), very few were prepared to take on the subject. Some said that, yes, they were childless by design but lacked sufficient angst about it to have anything interesting to say.

Tim Kreider, who wrote one of my favorite pieces of all-time about making the decision to have or not have children, “The Referendum,” writes in his essay:

Being childless is inarguably saner and more responsible in the present world situation than having children, but let’s not pretend we’re actually doing it for sane or responsible reasons.

And this was exactly how I was feeling going into the collection: Who cares if you do or don’t have children? Let’s stop pretending we’ve chosen sides, or we’re on some dumb team.

But, after all that, I should admit: minus Daum, all of the people I’ve quoted above are men. To quote her introduction again, she included only 3 men compared to 13 women, because women “are goaded into thinking about [children] practically from birth.” 

And this is just the plain fucking truth: women take on the brunt of childbearing and raising, and they get judged the most by not having children. By default, their reasons for having or not having children are much more numerous and diverse than those of men. (Such is the point of this collection.)

I’m not sure who these deluded asshole parents are out there who keep telling their friends that they’re missing out by not having children. If you don’t want children or you aren’t sure you want to and you have those friends, I’m sorry. (I suspect that they’re assholes about validating their other life decisions, too.) 

Young women in particular who don’t want kids but are feeling pressure from others, I think the voices in this essay might make you feel a little better about your choice. (Or, even women who want or have had children, you might have a similar response to my friend Meaghan, who tweeted, “A lot of things I was like Yes I agree with what you’re saying but came to opposite conclusion.”)

Young women who want children but aren’t sure how they’re going to be mothers and still get any writing done? I recommend Sarah Ruhl’s 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time To Write.

Whether you decide to have children or not, I’m giving the last word to my friend Clayton Cubitt, who tweeted after I dragged him into things by citing him as an example of someone who’s chosen not to have children who actually seems to me to lead an exciting life as a direct result of the decision: “Life isn’t “about” anything. You do yours, I’ll do mine. They’re both beautiful.”

FIled under: my reading year 2015