a-fine-time

anonymous asked:

Could you do the first time Cassian sees Nesta naked

Warning: Slightly NSFW. Enjoy, anon. :)

Originally posted by ourmagiclovestory


He was breathless.

He’d dreamt of the moment countless times since they’d met, what it would be like to explore her body.

She was beautiful, but that much was obvious. But there, in her natural skin, with her hair undone and hanging limply down her bare back….she was ethereal. Unreal. A goddess. An angel, having fallen only for him to love unconditionally. 

He had been stunned, frozen, when she pushed him back against his pillows and began slipping the straps of her knee-length sun dress down her shoulders after they’d returned from dinner. He had asked her if she was sure, and she gave him a smile only few had witnessed. Of course, I’m sure. I love you. 

She’d taken control, straddling his lap once her dress had fallen to the hardwood floor.

Cassian swore his heart stopped when her legs wrapped around his waist. When he lifted his hands to her back, she quickly pushed them back down, and unclasped her plain, black bra. She wouldn’t take her eyes off his as she threw the undergarment behind her.

He couldn’t control his hands from ripping her thin, laced panties off her waist. After a curse from Nesta, and a devilish grin, she pressed her lips tenderly into his. 

Her skin was soft, smooth, warm with every touch. Cassian wanted to take his time, wanted to take in every inch of her body, wanted to explore the unknown territory he’d been waiting to discover since they’d been together.

He had been fine giving her the time she wanted, the time she needed, but he would have been lying if he’d said he’d never thought about it.

Oh. He had thought about it.

He had thought about what it would be like to feel nothing but her skin against his. About what it would be like to taste his queen, his love, his mate. About what it would be like to feel her slender fingers wrapping around his cock. About what it would be like to make love to the love of his life.

And when it actually happened…..

It was better than he’d ever imagined. 

something i fail to articulate when i need to most:

when i describe a distressing symptom of the mental badness that’s been dominating/ruining my life for over a decade (two decades for some of it) to someone, and they say something along the lines of “that’s normal, it happens to everyone” it feels like the emotional equivalent of having incredibly stale marshmallows shoved into my nose and mouth until i gag

because either it is true and i’ve been fine all this time, therefore meaning i can’t work on getting better as there’s nothing to fix, i’m totally normal and i ruined my own life by being a dramatic little goblin for the majority of my existence

or it’s simply that nobody cares enough about me to recognise how much i’m struggling, which would be a failure on my part too since i’m the common denominator for all these people misunderstanding me

either way it means i’m an unperceptive, worthless trash pile who wastes everyone’s time and should go live in a cave

i probably deserve the stale marshmallows

Day 22! It’s technically past midnight, but I think uploading just a few minutes late isn’t that bad in the long run.

I am not particularly good at drawing fire, and I could’ve gone into better detail with it, but I was down to the wire and felt it was better to simply upload it as-is rather than spend more time fine-tuning it and end up a day behind. Oh well!

I still love drawing this design and probably always will.

→ (Commissions) ←

A simple smile does not negate our symptoms and all of the sudden make us perfectly fine. There will be times where our facial expressions do not translate into how we are feeling on the inside of our bodies. We are used to having strength embedded in our eyes, minds, and our hearts.  Crohn’s Disease or Ulcerative Colitis teaches the patient to always find those bright spots in their clouds of darkness. Inflammatory bowel disease does not put pauses on our lives, although it may produce plot twists we may have never seen coming in our lives.
—  Wade David Sutherland (#WadesIBDWordsofWisdom2k17)

Doing well is much easier said than done. The best tip I have is to just do the work. It’s going to suck, but there’s no secret other than doing the work. Though, there are ways to make doing the work easier!

I. Time Management

  • Have a planner to gain a general idea of your week.
  • Schedule your time for studying but also schedule time for breaks.
  • Every morning I check what needs to be done for the day.
  • I treat college as a 9-5 job with a lunch break. This may not work for everyone, but this thinking allows me to be done by 5, and I usually finish everything for the day by that time.
  • Take a break after you finish an assignment. Allow yourself to feel proud for finishing and give yourself a reward.
  • Break up projects into smaller parts, this is incredibly important. It’s easier to do an outline, then a few paragraphs rather than doing an entire essay at once.
  • It’s not time well used if you don’t focus on the task at hand. If you’re having trouble, get rid of distractions using apps that limit phone/internet usage.
  • Don’t waste time on techniques that don’t work for you. I don’t rewrite notes, it doesn’t help me study. Instead I do extra textbook problems or I watch a video on the topic. 
  • Sometimes it’s hard to motivate yourself to do the work, to study. Then just do a single problem, a single page or paragraph. Usually starting is the hardest part.

II. Studying & Learning

  • Be present during class by asking questions and answering problems.
  • Use phone-locking apps like Forest if you need to to stay focused on the class.
  • Skim lecture notes ahead of time. You don’t need to take notes on them, the professor will tell you what’s important.
  • It’s ok if your notes aren’t pretty as long as they’re functional.
  • Practice problems until you can’t get them wrong.
  • Try to teach the material to someone else. This will show holes in your understanding. Pretend to teach if you don’t have a friend in the same class.
  • If you need, study in the library. Honestly, studying at my desk in my dorm has worked just fine for me though.
  • Do the homework, there’s no way around it. This is probably the biggest tip here. Do the work.
  • Actually do the homework, don’t just copy answers. Understand the answers. You can’t copy on a test.
  • Speaking of tests, do as many practice tests as you can find. Once the real test comes around, you won’t be as nervous and it should feel familiar.
  • Nice pens and notebooks aren’t required. However, spend a dollar and get a pen that writes well enough that you’re not wasting time during class getting it to work. (I’ve been through this)
  • Do the extra credit. There’s no reason not to, and your grade will thank you.
  • Go to tutoring, not everyone knows everything. You might even make a new friend since most tutors at my school are also students!
  • Realistically, you don’t need to do every reading assignment as long as you know what your professor tests on. If you don’t have the time, its fine to only skim the assignment.
  • Make study groups. If you don’t have a friend in the class, it’s as easy as asking “want to work on the homework together?” In my experience, most people are happy to work with you.
  • Go to your professors office hours if you need help. Your professors are a valuable resource.
  • Ask your friends for feedback, I do this all the time.

III. Treat Yourself

  • Sleep and eat well. Coffee is not a breakfast.
  • Please, don’t force yourself to cram a subject overnight. This is where time management comes into play.
  • An over-stressed student is a bad student, but a little bit of stress is healthy.
  • Find what motivates you. Personally, I wish to become a researcher so I work hard towards that goal to get into a good grad. school.
  • You don’t have to join a club. I’m not in one, and my social life is just fine since I spend time playing games with friends at night.
  • But join a club if you want, even for a single day. You might meet some friends.
  • Really do whatever you want with regards to your social life. Do what’s comfortable for you.
  • If you need it, colleges have a therapist that you can make an appointment with.
My (super honest) Take on the Moon Signs

Aries: Moody but energetic. Unaware of the other person’s feelings sometimes only because they’re total realists. Overall just A LOT of energy. 

Taurus: Calm and cool, very connected to family and somewhat cut off from people. Has witty moments and likes to make people laugh. Low key mean all the time though. 

Gemini: Very pleasant to be around, light and airy vibe. Can have very deep but also light conversations. Easy to get close to and will be there for you on their terms. 

Cancer: Brutally honest and if you’re good to them, they’ll be amazingly good to  you. Has very sudden mood changes that come as a surprise. Kind and caring to their friends (or acquaintances). 

Leo: Very egotistical and bossy. Has good moments and they’re very rare. Surprisingly hard to get close to. A little bit on the mean side. 

Virgo: LITERALLY THE MOST RESPONSIBLE WOW (maybe besides capricorn moon). Kind of a worry wart, and very analytical. Has a tough time with emotions. 

Libra: I know so many holy crap. Pleasant and serene vibe. I would say they’re both optimistic and pessimistic at the same time (depending on the situation one or the other). Really fair with everyone and tries to be a mediator. 

Scorpio: Has this struggle of wanting others to know them more deeply and yet won’t them. Quite creative and isn’t afraid of dark or mysterious things. Independence is a blessing and a curse with them. 

p: Sagittarius: Quite optimistic, (maybe) has an interest in other countries, travelling, or languages. Like Scorpio moon, independence is a blessing and a curse. Very intelligent but more prone to laziness. 

Capricorn: Uptight people to be around. Is very prone to negative attitudes. Probably the most responsible moon signs. Emotional matters are not their forte. Not a lot of sympathy for others. 

Aquarius: Truly doesn’t understand their own emotions. Especially when it comes to people. Astoundingly (no offense) has a lot of friends despite their emotional nature. 75% of the time they can be fine, other times they can be outright rude. 

Pisces: Supportive and sympathetic. Will be there for you thick in thin. A little bit out there, and low key lives in their own world. Lets people walk all over them unfortunately (only because they have a good heart). 

Finally

after a year
of racing thoughts
and broken hearts

i’m finally learning
i don’t care
and i feel fantastic

i can dry my eyes
not think of you
and put my best interest forward

i can find someone
who would want me
since i figured out this true reality

so you can run off
and be just fine
like you’ve done before

and i’ll run off
and be just fine
for the first time in forever

I imagine before he got to know them, Kravitz absolutely HATED the IPRE crew. Like, the dude is competent, but the guys have a habit of completely humiliating anybody they end up fighting.

Let’s rewind a few years. Kravitz is doing his thing. Kicking ass, reaping souls and killing liches. Heads back to his office in the Astral Plane (because i refuse to believe that the afterlife is anything but a stupidly complicated bureaucracy) and checks in on his current list of bounties.

There’s the usual list of necromancers, immortals, escapees from the stockade and users of profane rituals, you know the types, the guys who have the twelve syllable names and such. But there are seven new people he needs to hunt down. And all of them have died at least eight times. You hear that? It’s the sound of Kravitz getting paid.

So who does he go after first?

Merle Highchurch, fifty-seven deaths. God. So much reward. Kravitz hunts anybody by the name of Highchurch down, but nobody has any clues as to where the guy is. Kravitz heads back to the office and checks out all the information he has on the guy. And surprise surprise, he’s a follower of the god of bloody travelers. Krav could hunt down this guy for the better part of a decade, and he’d only find the guy by luck. Great. Wonderful. Fine. He has six other bounties to check out.

Magnus Burnsides, nineteen deaths. Okay, so Magnus is MUCH easier to find than Merle, if only because Magnus announces his name to anybody who asks. Lives in somewhere called Raven’s Roost. He’d been there a few times, not a bad place. So Kravitz heads over there. And great, the entire bloody town is on FIRE and the populace is DEAD. As a reaper, he’s legally required to take care of wandering souls he finds wandering around. So he has to take a good month or so wrangling a good 600 people into the afterlife. Much to his surprise, Magnus has a wife who recently died. The woman stares at him for a moment before laughing, because apparently Magnus can get lost in a goddamn hallway and it would take a goddamn miracle for Kravitz to track him down. Goddamn it.

Taako Taaco, eight deaths. Taako is, unlike the others, a complete goddamn ghost. The most he can gather is that the guy is a wizard and an elf and that is generally it. It is by pure luck he’s assigned to the Glamour Springs case, and hears about Taako Sizzles It Up. Okay, THAT is easier to track he thinks. Except Taako apparently did a show in literally EVERY TOWN in the world at some point and is charismatic enough that nobody is willing to tell him much of anything. And then, like both Magnus and Merle, he has apparently vanished into the mist and NOBODY KNOWS WHERE HE IS GODDAMN IT.

Lup Taaco, twelve deaths. Kravitz is not surprised that Lup is related to Taako because she is even harder to find than Taako. There is literally nothing except the fact that she died in some cave near Neverwinter. There are literally no souls in that cave, and he checked. Twice. So where the hell is she? Who the hell knows. Who even cares.

Davenport, nine deaths. Is somehow just as elusive as anyone else. Because these people hate Kravitz. Kravitz checks everywhere. A few merchants in Neverwinter remember having met a guy named Davenport a few years back, and he seemed pretty cool, and he bought a can of soup once. Great. THANK YOU MERCHANT MAN. SO VERY HELPFUL.

Barry J Bluejeans, twelve deaths. Barry fucking Bluejeans. BARRY GODDAMN JAY GODDAMN BLUEJEANS. Kravitz has no end of words for this asshole. Unlike the others, Kravitz has met this guy. He has no idea what goddamn class Barry is other than a magic-user because WHAT SPELLS DOESN’T THIS GUY KNOW GODDAMN IT. Oh oh oh and get this, he’s fueled by the power of love. Love. As if a normal lich isn’t annoying enough to deal with, but this guy apparently refuses to leave without his wife. A wife who, COINCIDENTALLY, has the name of LUP. And Kravitz knows. He goddamn knows, in the depths of his heart, that this Lup is the exact same one as Lup Taaco. BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE HATES HIM.

Lucretia, ten deaths. Somehow even worse than Taako, Davenport and Lup combined. Because he has nothing on her. At all. No class, no god, no spell-list, no ANYTHING. Alright. Fine. Detective Kravitz time. Her name is spoken very very rarely, and she is apparently the leader of some mysterious organization called a Bureau? Fine. Where is this Bureau. What’s that? It’s hidden? You can only summon a way there if you’re a member? Of course. Obviously. Wonderful. Why not. Cool. Great.

So now. Let’s advance to the start of the story. Kravitz is called out to investigate Phandalin. He arrives, and is immediately hit by a wave of pure fire. When he wakes up? He sees four figures in the distance. And three of them are Magnus. And Merle. And Taako. And Kravitz is about to fight them, when a goddamn orb appears from the sky and carries them to a goDDAMN SKY BASE WHAT THE HELL I HATE THESE PEOPLE

And then he finally meets these people by complete chance in the lab of Lucas Miller. And he is so happy. Because for the first time in six years, he has THREE OF THESE JACKASSES in front of him. There is no possible way they can escape this.

Guess what happens next.

So now, finally, let’s advance to post-Story & Song. And he has all seven of these assholes in front of him. Defenseless. He could reap their asses right now. But he can’t. Because the Raven Queen has declared they’ve earned a pardon.

A few hours after the celebration party, Kravitz warps back to his office and screams for a solid hour.

EDIT: Somebody mentioned the whole Barry dies like twenty times over the course of a decade so now I have to establish that at least five of those were Barry staring Kravitz dead in the face, killing himself instantly and rising out of his body as a lich. Just so that Kravitz can know EXACTLY how petty Barry Bluejeans will be.

innaffiare 

welp, here I am

free time is over, tomorow will be my first day coming back to my dumb university, 

wich means I’ll be back at my appartment not in my parents house anymore

I mean, sure it’s just fine that it’s time for me to go back to that hell, I acepted that;

but the thing, back at my appartment, the internet connextion suck SOOO much ass, so I’m real worried that I won’t be able to upload anything 

so yeah, if I don’t upload anything for a long time; it’s not my fault, I’m sorry

-_-

❓❓❓(Flash Warning)

Questioning gender and/or sexuality takes time. It’s fine to not know your identity yet. There’s no rush. Take your time, and know that you’re valid.

Originally posted by thepositivefairy

Originally posted by thepositivefairy

Jealousy (Richie/Eddie)

Summary: In which Eddie can’t help but feel jealousy creep against his thoughts.

Prompt 97“Are you jealous?”

Prompt: 26“Open your fucking eyes, it’s so obvious that I’m in love with you!”

A/N: Thankyou for this request @wrongsmakethewordscometolife! If you wanna ask me for prompts ask away HERE. If you want to ask an ordinary request ask HERE. THIS IS HORRIBLY RUSHED IM SORRY BUT I HAVE SO MANY REQUESTS AND I WANT TO POST AS MANY AS POSSIBLE

Eddie sighed in frustration with tired legs, crawling back up from out of the water with the rest of the losers club. He fixed his white briefs and found himself standing up despite his legs practically wobbling from kicking them that much under water; this was because Eddie was in fact too short to stand up properly under the water.

The others sat down, stretching their limbs and talking quietly amongst themselves whilst Beverly set up the boombox and somehow managing to get music echoing from the speakers.

Eddie zoned out, watching as the water swayed lightly in the lake and a grin took place on his lips. He didn’t need his inhaler today, he was fine swimming. Despite countless times of his Mom telling him to always be extra careful in deep water because of how weak he is, he was strong enough to keep his head above water and that’s all that mattered to him.

Eddie turned back around, going to engage in a conversation with one of the others until he noticed it.

Most, if not all of the boys were staring.

Eddie followed their gaze, his jaw slacked which revealed his open mouth as he noticed that all of them were staring at a sun bathing Beverly, relaxed and in her underwear. 

Sure, Beverly was pretty. Very, pretty. But what made her so enticing for all of the boys to stare at her in an alluring way? She didn’t have the best reputation with boys to begin with, which surprised Eddie as he would’ve thought some of them would’ve moved away from the thoughts that were currently going through their minds right now.

Eddie couldn’t help but feel out of place, especially because the only reason he was staring was because he was trying to find out what made he so special? Was it because she was a girl? Was it because she was a girl in her undergarments? Possibly so. 

Eddie’s eyes then shift to his friends, eyeing the way they were all in a trance. As Eddie wandered his gaze over to Richie he couldn’t help but feel his heart strings twist and turn and he helplessly allowed a sigh to release from his nostrils. Anger filled his thoughts. 

What was so special about Beverly? If she was wearing more clothes then he wouldn’t be staring at her like that, surely. She was a stupid girl. Does Richie like stupid girls? Does he like girls in general? 

Just as he stares back at Beverly with distaste roaming his tastebuds, Beverly’s head turns and glances at the boys through her fashionable shades.

All of the boys, including Eddie, look elsewhere and pretend to engage in conversation to disguise their actions. Eddie quickly squirms his steps across the path to where Stanley was sat and switches the song to something else to cover up his own acts.

Beverly merely shrugs, before looking elsewhere.


It was later on that day when the losers were all packing up to go home; Eddie and Richie left earlier than the rest as they both lived on the same road a few houses away from one another.

It was silent, with Eddie still having bad thoughts about Beverly due to an unknown emotion taking over him, almost alike to selfishness. Richie on the other hand was chewing upon gum obnoxiously loud, his mouth open when doing so. He followed up his actions by blowing a large pink bubble, before sucking it back into his mouth. He repeated this a few times until the silence was practically killing him.

“You’re awfully quiet, Eds.”

“Don’t call me fucking Eds.” Eddie grumbled, tightening his fanny pack around his hips to prevent it from slipping down his legs.

Richie was shocked at Eddie’s sudden tone, not to mention that he had been quiet for the majority of the day up until this point. “Damn, no need to be a bitch about it.” Richie mumbled, pushing his glasses up with his middle finger towards Eddie in hope he’d see it as a joke and lighten up.

He didn’t.

Eddie simply rolled his eyes and walked faster. “You’re not funny and I’m not laughing.”

Richie frowned, walking Eddie closer and closer to his house. He was growing impatient with the boys temper growing, but he was determined to find the cause of his lack of happiness and find the core reason as to why he was acting strange.

“Eds, c’mon. Don’t be like this.” Richie bounced against Eddie’s side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

Eddie scoffed, ignoring the taller boys question and grabbing Richie’s arm and shoving it off him. “Go wrap your twig arms around Beverly, I’m sure she’d fucking enjoy that considering all you did today was stare at her.”

Eddie walked quicker now, his tiny feet pacing forth. A lightbulb went off in Richie’s head as well as his lips spreading into a knowing smirk.

Richie cleared his throat, “My my, Eds. Are you jealous?

Eddie stopped in his tracks, heat rising against the skin on his face and spreading to his ears and clothed chest. He turned around with an angered look on his face.

“J-jealous? What the fuck of Richie?”

Richie’s smirk turned into a sly one, walking closer and folding his arms. “You’re jealous of me and Beverly, ain’t ya’?”

Just as Eddie was about to protest, Richie walked up and pressed his finger against Eddie’s lips teasingly, rubbing it around over them to force a funny face upon Eddie.

“Don’t answer that, I don’t want you blushing anymore than you already are.”

Eddie was horrified, he didn’t know that the heat sensation over his skin was him blushing. Why was he blushing? 

“I’m not-” Eddie stuttered, before being shushed by Richie’s finger again.

“Is this why you’ve been ignoring me all day?” Richie tilted his head, his curls flopping to one side.

Eddie averted his eyes elsewhere, feeling the shame creep up behind his shoulder. Silence was the best option for Eddie.

“Hm.” Richie hummed, moving his finger away and standing closer to Eddie. “Can I give you some advice Eds?”

Both of the two boys stood in front of Eddie’s house now, Eddie barely moving head to nod as anxiety took over. The anticipation of not knowing what ‘advice’ Richie was going to give him was killing him; Richie was dragging it out purposely to create suspense.

Richie finally spoke in a soft and gentle voice, “Open your fucking eyes, it’s so obvious that I’m in love with you.

Eddie opened his mouth, only for Richie to once again cut him off. This time, it wasn’t Richie’s finger but in fact Richie’s chapped, gum flavoured lips merging against Eddie’s own smooth pair of lips.

Eddie was quickly filled with anxious thoughts, he thought about how many germs were in a human mouth. For instance, there are actually more germs in a human mouth than a dogs. Eddie hitched for a second, before somehow gaining strength and pushing the thoughts away as he trembled into his first kiss with Richie, the boy he was falling for.

Eddie felt the heat run down his shoulders and smothering his spine, sending tingles as he twitched his fingers against Richie’s cheeks whilst on his tiptoes. Richie confidently wrapped his hands around Eddie’s hips to hold him in place for the kiss. Both of the boys had their eyes closed as they enjoyed their moment in perfect unity.

After what seemed like forever, which forever was 10 seconds in this instance, both pulled away for fresh air. Their eyes opened slowly, Eddie looking up at Richie through his eyelashes and Richie surprisingly having flushed freckles over his dotted skin.

Both boys giggled, stepping away from each other awkwardly.

“So.. so uh- don’t get jealous.” Richie chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“i don’t.. I don’t think I’ll need too.” Eddie whispered, clutching his shirt for mental and physical support.

Richie smiled down at the boy, “Well.. goodnight Eds. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, Richie quickly rushed off with quick steps and his arms frantically moving in-between his steps. 

Eddie watched from afar, his fingertips touching where Richie had kissed him. The bubblegum taste lingered on his own lips from Richie’s, his tongue licking at his bottom lip ever so slightly to remember how Richie melted perfectly against him with no flaws whatsoever. How Richie made him feel negatively about Eddie by making him jealous. How Richie managed to sweep Eddie up and off his feet in the end. How… Eddie loved Richie too.

“I love you too.” Eddie whispered to Richie, despite Richie being very much so far away and couldn’t possibly hear Eddie’s silent confession.

With that, Eddie turned on his heels and made his way back inside.

*  When students graduate from the academy, they get a dragon egg. The egg chooses you by glowing when you’re next to it.

*  Dragons talk through minds. Owners can talk and hear they’re dragon all the time but they can talk to other people personally.

*  When a dragon dies, it’s the painful experience. It’s like a part of your soul is ripped out of you.

*  There’s a special wing in the hospital for people who have lost their dragon.

*  Sakura has the runt but ends up breaking the record for biggest dragon in Shippuden. It lives in one of the training grounds cause it’s so big.

*  Sakura’s dragon is male and white with one red eye and one green eye.

*  Sasuke gets the biggest but it grew like a foot and that’s it. It’s the smallest out of everyone’s in Shippuden.

*  Naruto has a hydra but it’s like 1/6 the size of Sakura’s dragon in Shippuden.

*  Naruto’s dragon grew the fastest.

*  Kiba’s dragon is small enough to let Akamaru ride it.

*  Sai’s dragon is thin and black like ink and disguises itself as a tattoo.

*  In the winter, Sai wears his dragon as a scarf.

*  Ino’s is a male dragon. She was first disappointed but he grows on her.

*  Ino’s dragon is the same height as her when standing.

*  He would wear her clothes without permission until finally she would start buying two everything.

*  If a date isn’t going well, they’ll switch.

*  Kakashi inherits his father’s dragon. It’s a wise old dragon.

*  “Stop reading porn in front of children.” “Shut up they don’t know what I’m reading.”

*  Jiraya’s dragon is a female dragon that “helps” him with ladies but fails since she’s just as pervy.

*  She writes a dragon version of Icha Icha in dragon runes.

*  Ino’s dragon reads the dragon Icha Icha.

*  Shikamaru’s dragon is the opposite of him. It wants to do everything.

*  Gaara owns the sweetest small fluffy dragon that lives in his freezer. Because of this his gourd is instead a portable freezer. It steals all the popsicles and hisses at you when you try to take one.

*  Neji’s dragon is a male dragon who is in love with Sakura’s dragon. He makes Neji meet her all the time. His dragon is also super pervy,

*  Neji’s dragon is a Chinese dragon. All Hyuga’s have Chinese dragons.

*  “Please stop making me visit Sakura” “GOD DAMN IT NOW I’M IN LOVE WITH SAKURA”

*  Shino’s dragon is very fairy like. It’s the second prettiest dragon ever. It’s also male.

*  Shino’s dragon helped catch bugs with Shino but it got big and started squishing the bugs.

*  It sobs whenever it squishes bugs cause it did a bad but Shino tries to tell him it’s alright.

*  “No no it’s fine please don’t cry you’re fine” *dragon sobs ten times harder*

*  It learns to be nimble and careful with everything.

*  Itachi had to kill his dragon and he thought he did but it actually survived and hides itself in the leaf village (FUCK YOU ALICE FOR MAKING ANGST).

*  Itachi finds an egg in the wild and, thinking his own is dead, takes it even though it didn’t glow. It ends up being an albino dragon so it hides in his cloak.

*  Sakura finds Itachi’s original dragon though and takes care of it secretly.

*  He later reunites with his original dragon and it’s so fucking emotional everybody is crying even the enemies.

*  When the founders were still around, Izuna’s dragon was killed by Tobirama and Izuna went into a mindless rage and that’s how Tobirama was able to kill him.

*  Tsunade keeps Dan’s dragon along with hers. They mourn together over Dan’s death.

*  Kakashi also keeps Obito’s and Rin’s dragons but Obito’s “disappears” making him think he failed yet again.

*  Obito’s dragon knew her was alive tho.

*  Kakashi now has three (two after Obito’s left) and eight dogs.

*  Madara’s dragon is pure black and spits ameratsu.

*  When Madara comes back from the dead, he fucking yells and fights Sakura cause Sakura’s dragon beat his dragon’s height by a few centimeters and he wasn’t having this shit.

*  Sasori’s dragon is super poisonous to the touch.

*  After the fight with Sakura, it follows Sakura everywhere.

*  Now Sakura has two dragons.

*  But now Sakura got tricked into resurrecting Sasori and now both Sasori and the dragon follow her everywhere.

*  Peins dragon is made of metal. Pein’s piercings come from the dragon itself.

*  Konan’s dragon is the prettiest of them all.

*  Hidan’s dragon is super chill and when Hidan stabs himself it starts to freak out and cry even though he’s been doing this for so long so Hidan has to stop for a moment to cuddle his dragon to make it stop crying.

*  Kakuzu’s dragon shares a hoard with Kakuzu and it will steal money from everyone.

*  Kushina’s dragon is the loudest.

*  Choji’s dragon eats Choji’s food without him knowing so when Choji goes back to his food he wonders where it all went but everyone except Choji knows his own dragon eats his food and they just stand there and laugh as they watch it happen.

*  “WHERE DID ALL MY FOOD GO?!?!” *Held back laughter in the background*

*  Hinata’s dragon is a huge dick. He’s her opposite.

*  Tenten’s dragon is made of metal with a lot of spikes. It’s thin and long. It will fling itself at the enemy. When it does that it’s flailing around like a fucking noodle and then lodges its spikes into you while you’re laughing at its noodle-likeness.

*  Tenten uses her dragon’s scales to make her weapons.

*  Gai’s dragon is 1000000% done with Gai’s shit. It likes Kakashi more. It’s super lazy.

*  Hashirama sees Sakura’s dragon in the fourth war and questions if Tsunade had a secret child or something because H O L Y  F U C K!

*  Genma’s dragon is a porcupine-like dragon. When it gets scared it shoots out spikes everywhere. It also smacks him whenever he makes a shitty pickup line.

*  Sakura’s dragon will randomly screech sometimes and everyone in the village will stop everything and think about what they just did and how badly did they fuck up.

*  “Oh god did I do something wrong what did I do just now AM I GOING TO DIE?????”

*  Haku’s dragon breathes ice.

*  Deidara’s dragon spits fireworks.

*  The seven swordsmen get chosen by dragons and those dragons deem them worthy of making a sword out of its teeth.

*  Temari’s dragon has huge ass wings to help with wind for her fan.

*  Kankuro’s dragon is snarky and yet very flirtatious. It flirts with Sakura. No not her dragon like actually Sakura.

*  Neji is pissy about this fucking dragon flirting with the girl he likes.

*  Lee’s dragon hates Sakura which makes him upset.

*  “PINK AND GREEN ARE OPPOSTIE COLORS I  H A T E”

*  Sakura’s dragon jokingly flirts with Kakashi’s wise old dragon but the wise old dragon takes it as a fucking challenge and tries to flirt back with him better. There’s no real romance.

*  Neji’s dragon sees this and just sobs forever. Neji has to ask Sakura to come over and talk to him about it.

*  “I WANTED HIM TO BONE ME BUT HE WANTS TO BONE AN OLD MAN INSTEAD!!!!!”

*  Sakura tries her best to hold back laughter and just cries.

*  “It’s okay it’s not real flirting. The old man’s dick is probably small too.”

*  A week later Kakashi’s dragon is like “I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING SHIT”

*  “LISTEN I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING! HE WAS SOBBING OKAY!”

*  Anko’s dragon hangs out on her boobs. Covers it up mostly. But Anko will try to push it off but it climbs back on.

*  When she has a guy flirting with her she will seductively unzip he jacket and then it just breathes fire on the guy.

*  Iruka’s dragon protects the academy. It protects Iruka more tho.

*  “These are my children but this is my permanent child.”

*  It also takes care of the eggs before graduation and is very proud of all of their choices in owners.

*  It however hates Kakashi. When Kakashi passes the academy it always flips him off.

bookishplays  asked:

okay but one of the upperclassmen referencing the "what she says: im fine" meme around neil and our boy being SHOOK

They train Neil to stop saying “I’m fine” because every time he says he’s fine, Matt will go “What he says: I’m fine” and Allison finishes it with things such as:

  • “What he means: I was planning on being dead by now and now I don’t know what to do with my life.”
  • “What he means: My body is 90% fresh cuts and burns, but I don’t want to get benched.”
  • “What he means: I’m planning out the most effective way to get myself taken and tortured yet again.”
  • “What he means: I’m bleeding out, but slowly enough that we don’t need to worry about it for a solid two hours at least.”
Fine
  • Dadsona: *meets Joseph*
  • Dadsona: He's fine.
  • Dadsona: *meets Mary* This is fine.
  • Dadsona: *goes to bbq in all his social awkwardness* This is fine.
  • Dadsona: *Finds out Mary and Joseph are married* ThIs iS stiLL fInE
  • Dadsona: *bakes with Joseph* This is fine again.
  • Dadsona: *Dances with Joseph* this is awful but Joseph likes me so it's fine. I'm fine.
  • Dadsona: *Goes on yacht* This is fine. I'm having a fine time.
  • Yacht: *runs out of gas*
  • Dadsona: I'm going to die out here but I'm with Joseph so its fine.
  • Dadsona: *Finds out Joseph and Mary might break up* This is a finer time in life.
  • Dadsona: *sleeps with Joseph* That was fine as hell.
  • Joseph: Mary and I are staying together.
  • Dadsona: I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. This is not fine but I'm fine. :))))))

anonymous asked:

Tell us about Sleipnir (is that how it's spelled?) the eight legged horse.

OH MAN THIS ONE

One of the most (in)famous of Loki’s shenanigans.

So. Shortly after the construction of Asgard, the gods were going about their business when a stranger arrived at their gates. He offered his services to construct a wall for them around Asgard, one that would never fall. He swore that he would do this in a mere three seasons, which seemed impossible, and as payment for his services he wanted the hand of Freyja, the beautiful, in marriage, as well as the sun and the moon.

The gods went into a huddle at this to discuss things.

“Fuck this guy.” Announced Freyja. “In the metaphorical sense, not the literal. I’m not marrying him.”

“Anyway, yeah, this is a scam.” Odin said. “I know a scam when I see a scam, and this is definitely a scam, and you know what we do to people who try to scam us.”

“COUNTER SCAM!”

“What the fuck you two, Loki, shut the hell up, that isn’t what he…”

“Exactly, thank you Loki. We counter scam them. Here’s the plan.”

*Some time later*

“Fine. Fine. I’m in. But know that if he pulls it off, I will kill both of you. Slowly. And use your skulls as food dishes for my cats. And also kill him on the wedding night.”

“Noted, Freyja.”

So the gods returned to the craftsman and agreed, with a condition; he would only have one season to complete the work, and it must be done without any aid save that of his horse.

“Deal.” He agreed immediately. “But you’ve all gotta swear a binding oath that you will keep your word.”

The myth does not specify that he was, specifically, eyeballing Loki and Odin at that part, so I am forced to assume that he was.

The gods all do. The craftsman gets straight to work, and the wall begins going up at an impressive pace. As Freyja’s scowl deepened, it was noticed that the man’s mighty stallion, Svadilfari, was doing most of the work, hauling stones larger than any normal horse could shift and never seeming to tire.

“It’s fine!!!” A sweating Loki assures a glowering Freyja. “Just fine! The horse will tire, he won’t finish it!”

But winter wears on, the wall grows, and it’s soon clear that the horse will not tire, and the man will indeed complete his work. Freyja has taken to making throat-cutting gestures at both Odin and Loki whenever she sees them.

Three days from the end of winter, and only the final layer of stones for the gates need to be laid. I picture here Odin and Loki watching the mason pack up his tools and horse for the evening and ride off, secure in the knowledge that he will soon wed Freyja and take the sun and moon.

“He could do it.” Loki squints up at the wall.

“Yep.” Says Odin, sipping mead.

“He’s a frost giant, isn’t he?”

“Oh, definitely.”

“Got this won, he has.” Loki nods, sipping his own mead.

“Oh, yes.”

“Freyja cornered me today and threatened to feed my balls to her cats.”

“She’s going to use my remaining eye as a necklace too, apparently.”

“She’d make it painful, too.”

“Yep.” Odin refills both their ale horns with mead. “Because, of course, there is no one in Asgard who would, in this situation…how did you put it the other day?”

“Cheat like a motherfucker.”

“Yes, that’s it. No one at all.”

“I’ve got a plan.”

A grin from the Old Bastard, a sort of half smirking wolfish grin. “I knew you would.”

They then clink mean horns and cackle like hyenas for a full minute and a half.

The next day, the mason arrives for his work and begins cutting more stones as his stallion grazes. As he works, a pretty young mare prances out of the woods, tossing her mane and tail and giving Svadilfari come-hither glances.

Svadilfari sniffs, decides in .000000003 seconds that a young mare in season is infinitely more interesting than hauling rocks, and takes off after her. The mare dashes ahead of him, staying juuuuuuust out of reach as the giant swore and cursed back by the sledge.

The mare, of course, is Loki. He leads Svadilfari a merry chase, but is still Loki, and allows herself to be caught eventually. Loki and Svadilfari proceed to have a grand few days in a nice clearing in the woods, far from Asgard and Svadilfari’s master.

Meanwhile, the three days come and go. The giant tries his hardest, but cannot finish the wall without Svadilfari. At last the sun sets on the end of the season, and the wall remains unfinished. He has not completed his task, and Freyja and the sun and moon are lost to him.

“YOU CHEATED!!!” He presumably yelled, swelling to giant size and revealing himself as a frost giant at last.

“I didn’t do a single thing,” Says the Allfather, which to be fair is technically true. "Go from this place. You have lost.“

The enraged giant did not. Therefore, he was paid, instead of his wages, a blow of Thor’s hammer to the head, which shattered his skull and killed him on the spot.

Loki did not return for many months, though there were sightings in the forest of a pretty mare with an eight legged foal on occasion. Finally, Loki reappeared at the gates of Asgard with a weanling foal in tow. The foal had eight legs, and followed Loki as a young horse will its mother. The gods all, presumably, gave each other Significant Looks at this.

Loki took the foal before Odin, who also presumably raised an eyebrow.

“You know, you didn’t have to do it that way, but good job.”

“Hey I didn’t question the whole tie yourself to a tree thing, you don’t question my methods. Also, this is Sleipnir. Sleipnir, this is Uncle Odin. You stick with him and be a good boy, okay? Remember, mommy loves you and will come to visit but you’re a big boy now and I need to get back to my other interests.”

And that is how Odin obtained Sleipnir, the eight legged steed that carries him through the realms.