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Micro-aggressions, Unpacking privilege, and The Knee Jerk Response

Micro-aggressions happen all the time. Everyday. Even by people you think are your allies. For example:

Black woman says:  I am so upset about the violence against the Black community.

White LGBTQIA woman responds: What about the LGBTQIA community? What about violence against us?

This is a micro-aggression. This is an invalidation of the Black Woman’s statement even though the White woman is right about violence in the LGBTQIA community. However, by co-opting the conversation, by making it about her own marginalization at that immediate moment, she has asserted her white privilege and any chance for a conversation ends abruptly. To be a good ally, we must learn to listen and support each other when people who are hurting are talking. Your time to talk will come soon enough, but don’t take it at the expense of others. Don’t let your privilege co-opt a conversation on race.

I will give you a more personal example. I grew up during the race riots between the Korean American and Black community in NYC. My parents owned a store and we lived in the apartment above it. It was a scary time. At school I got into an argument with a Black classmate. She said it was incredibly hard being Black and having to deal with racism. In my young, resentful and admittedly self-centered mind, I didn’t like what she said. So I responded – “Well Korean Americans get hate and racism from both the Black and White communities.” That was a blatant micro-aggression. I invalidated her by pushing my marginalization over hers. And I was completely wrong. But at that time, I was unaware of my privilege. In my mind, my marginalization – being Asian – was just as bad as being Black. I was so wrong. Now I know that I have a privilege and if I I could go back in time, I would apologize to her. But I can’t and so the only thing I can do is keep learning and try my best to do better.

I am Asian American, straight, cis-gender, educated, middle class. And even though I am a woman of color with invisible disabilities, I am also deeply aware of my privilege, because I am a woman of color who is not Black or Brown. I am also a woman with disabilities that are not visible. While these marginalizations make my life extremely difficult, I still have privilege and I must constantly remind myself to never forget that. It is not easy, and it is not supposed to be. But you check your privilege because it is the right thing to do. To be a good ally.

Recently, I have noticed a troubling trend among white allies who, perhaps unknowingly, talk over and invalidate WOC by playing their own individual marginalization card. And in general, I’ve noted that it always comes on the heels of Black Women talking about race and intersectionality. This troubles me deeply because it causes resentment. It also bothers me when other WOC (especially other Asian women) aren’t as supportive of Black Women as they should be.

I saw this happen in an online group, a good friend of mine (who is Black) tried to speak on race and found her whole discussion derailed in a heavy pile on by white marginalized feminists who co-opted the conversation. It was so frustrating that I posted the Huffington post video on White Feminism with this statement, “I think this video should be mandatory viewing for everyone especially because sometimes I think white feminists who are also LGBTQIA+ or disabled forget that intersectionality applies to WOC also, and that no matter what your marginalization is you have never experienced not being white. And if that statement makes you mad, you need to think about why.“

What I received back was a whole lot of angry Knee Jerk reactions. And what I mean by that is the “How dare she try to tell me that my marginalization is not as important as hers!” “How dare she try to police diversity!” “How dare she not check her privilege!” “How dare how dare how dare…”

I call this a Knee Jerk reaction because these are not all bad people. These are people who are invested in the diversity movement themselves. So they are not the enemy. And yet they responded with a knee jerk reaction to being called out on having white privilege. But instead of getting so angry, accusing me of being a bully, demanding that I be banned and reported (for what, asserting my opinion?), and trying to silence me, they should have done exactly what I asked in that last sentence. They needed to think about why it made them so uncomfortable. They needed to reflect on their own privilege. What they did instead, was focus on their own marginalization as if it somehow negates their white privilege. The problem is that nothing negates white privilege. The poorest, most marginalized white person in the country will still not have the racist issues that the Black community faces. They will not be poisoned knowingly by their government. They will not live in fear that the police will kill their young children and never be punished. They do not have to worry about having the highest incarceration numbers in the land, simply because of the color of their skin. They do not have to worry about the school to prison pipeline because of inadequate resources in public schools. But because these issues do not actually affect white feminist’s personal lives, it is easy to focus solely on their own individual problems.

After the responses so vividly proved my point, I left the group because I cannot stay where people believe that silencing the voices of POC instead of promoting open discourse is ever acceptable. Of course, this is not the first time I have been silenced and made to feel unwelcome by white feminists. Truth is this is commonplace for WOC. But it hurts more when it is done by people who say they are our allies.

I know that I will receive hate mail and harassment, but on this I feel too strongly to stay quiet. Because I stand in solidarity with the Black community. And we all need to speak out when wrong is wrong.

The thing is, if a white person’s response to someone talking about White Privilege is to say “I’m marginalized too!” then they don’t get it. Because that is, essentially, how privilege works. It wants to take over the conversation and invalidate other people’s struggles. And if your response to that is “why is race more important?” I want to point you to one of my new favorite blogs -Reading While White. They address this very issue as follows:

This is a great explanation because it doesn’t say race is the most important issue, what it does is make clear is that race is the most all encompassing. That it crosses into all identities, all marginalizations. Intersectionality means that POC also exist in the LGBTQIA and disabilities communities. It affects all races, not just white people. But white privilege, even within those communities, wants to dominate.

Unpacking your privilege is a hard thing. It is not easy. Nobody wants to think of themselves as being in the wrong, they’d rather think of themselves as being wronged. So you stay secure in your self-righteous indignation of “How dare yous” instead of thinking about how systemic racism and your own privilege has seeped so firmly into all aspects of your life that you can’t even see it.

In order to be a good ally and make a difference in the fight for ALL OF US, we must recognize our own privileges and make a public stand to fight for what is right. But we cannot do that if our white allies don’t recognize what white privilege is and how deeply entrenched it is in our world. So I challenge white allies to really do some serious and probably very uncomfortable  self-reflection. When POC ask you to check your privilege, do you get mad and immediately demand that they check theirs? When POC talk about their experiences do you roll your eyes and snidely comment about how it’s not always about race? When someone says something racist, do you just stand there looking awkward and ignore it? When the status quo is racist, do you just accept it? When people talk about taking action, do you just nod your head in agreement and do nothing? When POC speak on oppression, do you respond with your own tale of oppression? 

In order to be a good ally, it is important to know when to speak up and when to shut up and just listen. And if you aren’t sure what to do, all you have to do is ask. How can I be a good ally to you? How can I support you? 

In conclusion, I will leave you with Daniel Jose Older’s The 5 Stages of Confronting Your Own Privilege. Here’s hoping that we can all get past number 1.

Daddy's Rules* 💖✨

1. Princess must always listen to daddy, because he has final say. 😇

2. Princess must dress modestly, because daddy doesn’t want anyone to see what’s his only. 👗

3. Princess must eat at least two balanced, full meals a day. 🍴

4. Princess must have at least 30 minutes of little activity time a day. 🍼

5. Princess isn’t allowed to hug/be touched by any males that aren’t related or approved by daddy. (This rule does not apply to handshakes, high fives or fist bumps.) 🙅🏼

6. Princess has no bedtimes, but she must go to bed when daddy says. If daddy is not available to tell Princess the bedtime, then it is 10:30. 🕥

7. Princess is not allowed to use big girl bad words or raise only her middle finger at people. 🙊

8. Princess must always tell daddy what’s wrong if he can’t figure it out. 😭

9. Princess is not allowed to self-harm or talk negatively about herself, because daddy loves every bit of her. 💖

10. Princess must always take her pills as she’s supposed to. 💊

*may be changed, added to, or taken away by order of @anarchy6616

2014/10/11 - Deaf West Theatre - LA
Austin McKenzie (Melchior), Sandra Mae Frank (Wendla), Katie Boeck (Voice of Wendla), Daniel Durant (Moritz), Rustin Cole Sailors (Voice of Moritz), Lauren Patten (Ilse), Ali Stroker (Anna), Amelia Hensley (Thea), Gabrielle Garza (u/s Voice of Thea), Treshelle Edmond (Martha), Kathryn Gallagher (Voice of Martha), Joseph Haro (Hanschen), Joshua Castille (Ernst), Daniel David Stewart (Voice of Ernst), Jimmy Bellinger (Georg), Miles Barbee (Otto), Sean Grandillo (Voice of Otto), Natacha Roi (Adult Women), Troy Kotsur (Adult Men), Daniel Marmion (Voice of Adult Men)

LOVE the music when Hernst talk. Why it changed when it came to Broadway…

Becoming a TV Writer

Welcome to THE 100 Season 3! Now that we’re on hiatus, I’ve finally had a chance to dig back into my inbox and a question I’ve gotten from a few people is how I became a TV writer. Firstly, though, I strongly recommend the @childrenoftendu: Javi and Jose are TV veterans (not to mention lovely people) with decades of experience between them, and they have generously captured all that learning for you for FREE in their entertaining and informative podcasts. A must-listen for anyone interested in TV writing. Seriously. Go get them all right now.

The tl;dr version of my path is that I’m a lifelong writer, a drama major in college who focused on playwriting. A love of computer games led to a left turn into technology, where I worked for years as a game writer, designer, and producer until getting accepted into the Warner Bros. Television Writers’ Workshop. That’s how I landed my first job in TV and I’ve made my living as a screenwriter ever since.

There’s more to my story, of course, but in my experience when people ask “How did you become a writer?” they’re really asking “How do I become a writer? so I figured I’d answer that too.

Pretty much every working writer you’ll talk to has a completely different story on how they got where they are. That’s both the good news and bad news: there’s no one set path to breaking into Hollywood. You need to write. A lot. And rewrite. A lot. Seems obvious, but LA is full of “aspiring writers” who’ve never written anything, never finished anything, or never bothered to do the hard and sometimes painful work of getting feedback and shaping a piece of material into something worthy of a busy agent/executive/showrunner’s attention. So do that. Writing is a skill and a craft and takes practice. You must put in the hours.

You’ll also need access to someone willing to read what you’ve written, someone who can give you a job or help get you one. That can mean getting accepted into a writing fellowship like I did, or having your script read by a friend who’s an agent’s assistant and recommends you to their boss, or finding a mentor in the business (college alumni networks are good for this), or working in the writers’ office of a TV show and a senior writer eventually asks, “So, what are you working on?” 

Whatever the particulars, common elements for success in entertainment include hard work, talent, luck, and persistence. Also being a decent person, but I really shouldn’t have to call that out (and yet…). Confidence is not the same as arrogance. Being too aggressive will hurt you. So will being too timid. So will thinking that you deserve a job in the industry, because you’ve waited X years or just really really want it. It’s a hard fact, but Hollywood doesn’t owe any of us anything. We have to constantly earn its favor.

One of the biggest myths in Hollywood is that all it takes is one big break and you’re set. You do need that first door to open, of course, but after that you have to break in over and over again. Every staffing job, every open writing assignment, every pilot pitch. This article has some good tips: http://www.scriptmag.com/features/balls-of-steel-navigating-hollywood-11-ways-to-develop-your-hustle

So there you go. Good luck and keep writing!

anonymous asked:

Boxer!Calum? I had a dream about it and I can't get it off my mind

You’d heard the rumors about boxer!Calum in the gym. That he was the next up-and-coming fighter, that he would be the one to beat the three-year reigning champion, that he used to be a musician before he took up boxing because he liked the adrenalin flowing through his veins.

You both boxed for the same club, but you’d never seen the brown-eyed enigma. However, you’d heard enough about him, all your fellow fighters whispering of him in the locker room when they thought nobody was listening.

Calum must have been at least nearly as good as everyone said, because a few weeks later he had already worked himself up the ring and was going to be facing off against the three-time champion of a tournament hosted in your city. The man who was supposedly the best boxer around, who left six-foot-tall, heavily muscled men lying on the floor like they were toys.

Unable to fight your growing curiously, you decided to go to the match. The sweaty bodies of the crowd pushed against you as you made your way to the front, but you were used to it. You’d been on both sides of the ropes surrounding that ring.

When you finally made your way to the front, the first thing you saw was Calum. Because, well, Calum was staring right at you. He didn’t look like the average boxer, perhaps a bit leaner than the rest, but you could tell from his stance and from the focus in his eyes that what he lacked in brute force he made up for in determination and cunning.

And then, Calum broke eye contact with you and the fight commenced. For some reason, though during all other fights you watched you’d remained impassive and unaffected, you found yourself biting your nails in anticipation and wincing every time Calum took a hit, praying that he wouldn’t be the next boy that his opponent left beaten on the floor.

Thankfully, Calum held his own. In fact, he held on until the very end, only losing when time ran out and the judges had to make a decision. You could see the defeat in his eyes, and you felt bad. So, after overhearing one of your friends standing next to you say that he didn’t have a trainer, you followed the tattooed boxer back into the locker rooms.

You found him sitting on the benches, staring off into space and apparently lost in thought.

You cleared your throat, and his gaze snapped to you. “Uh, hi. I’m-“

“Y/N,” he smirked. “I know who you are.”

Your eyes widened a fraction. “You do? How?”

He shrugged. “People talk about you at the gym. Say you’re one of the better girl fighters. I sat in on one of your matches, actually.”

“You did?” you balked.

He chuckled at your reaction, nodding. “You’re good.”

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, and you played with a loose string on your sleeve. “Thanks.”

Calum nodded, then smirked. “Why are you here? I’m sure it’s not just because of my good looks.”

You suddenly felt embarrassed again. “Well, I, uh, heard you didn’t have anyone to clean up your injuries so I thought I could-“

“Help me?” he finished.

You nodded, and he slid over, patting the spot next to him on the bench. Finding the first aid kit, you began patching up the cuts on his face and arms, getting ice packs for his bruises and wrapping a finger you were pretty sure looked broken.

After a while, he stopped you suddenly and tilted your chin up, searching your eyes for something.

“I just got the shit beaten out of me, so I don’t see any reason to not be frank. Would you like to go out on a date with me this Friday night?”

Coworker!5sos blurb night with @complicashton, request/tag us in your blurbs!

One of the Reasons Why Limebloods Will Always Exist

Dear reader,

what you are about to read is purely a theory or a headcanon but also an opinion. While my original intention is to prove that extinction of limebloods is nearly impossible I could be wrong. If this headcanon by any chances offends you - there is no law/rule that you must listen to this headcanon. Ignore it and move on and don’t be so salty about it. You will just waste your energy on irrelevant things.

This theory is a collection of biological facts and rules which apply to Earth and Earth organism. We do not have any sufficient knowledge of how the troll reproduction, DNA, and the entire process of grubs being made looks like from the biological point of view.

If this theory raises any questions, I am more than eager to answer them all.

Thank you for understanding.

(Also there are like 3,000 words, or 9 pages)

Keep reading

Honest
  • Honest
  • Heavenly Beat
  • Prominence
Play

Heavenly Beat | “Honest” | Prominence

“longing left to much to the mind
leaving out what’s right
so I took it on the side
and
couldn’t reign in this desire
need to feel the weight
now I’m nothing all the time

how bad does it seem?
you don’t have to be honest

the thought that maybe once was nice
but twice would be divine 
is what started my decline
and
I just wanted to reconcile 
the past that got me off
with the present I’m just dying in

how bad does it seem?
you don’t have to be honest”

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林俊彥 - 帰ってこいよ

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hello my dear tumblr followers. check out this band. please and thank you :)