The laughter that spills from his mouth is giddy, delighted and he wraps his arms over his stomach. It’s as if it hurts, his smile certainly looks like it does, as wide it is.
“Oh Curseling, what a good joke!” Morning Star skips towards Pandora, gleeful, like a child. “As if the idea of burning scares me. I fell, all but cremated when I hit the floor, punched a hole into the desert so deep I could dig Hell out of the crash site.” His grin is sharp, dangerous, but full of vicious amusement as he flashes it to Pandora. “I bathed in Hellfire, let my Lady’s warmth smother me, so I could feel her love. Fire is nothing but a soft blanket to me these days.”
I always think of him at the beach. Like I have more time, the right kind of time, there to just wonder what he’s doing, how he’s doing. This one afternoon, I noticed while staring at the water, blue green and pale with sunlight flashing, that I hadn’t been thinking of him. It surprised me. It felt like a few days had passed without remembering something about him, without the little projector in my mind hanging little images of him on the walls, images of light. Is this the latest development, I thought? I couldn’t summon any conversation about him like usual. There were just children digging holes and running in and out of the tide. Children that weren’t ours. That never would be. I sat quiet and didn’t want a cigarette. I decided to let it happen.
Sometime later, I was going through some commonplace hell, when I thought about my dreams, the ones of him. And then I decided he was close by, maybe watching me again. And that was the rest of May and June. Writing to him. Thinking of him non-stop. Hoping to dream of him again. Hoping to hear from him. He has all the burden of choice. He has the full life, probably a woman, a job, a place to live, a family. He has the powerful heart and the golden tongue. He has all the wisdom and the trivia. He has everything and therefore must protect it. Whereas I am desperately poor, in shabby health, and desperate for his love. I’m choking again. I’m so ashamed. I was close to the beginning of forgetting and then my sickness, my sick brain, swung me back into the fray full force even until I was commenting on his web page like an idiot! Oh my god! Oh. I can picture how disgusting I must seem. He’s probably had to abandon that page altogether. That’s what Keith said today. He’s probably not even there.
I’ve been hoping that my ESP wasn’t all gone, that maybe I was onto something. Now I’m just ashamed of how I’ve behaved. Chris has worked so hard to make something better of his life and to put me in the past. He’s such a good one and I’m just a fucking mess. I was so close to being peaceful and then something inside snapped me back like a rubberband to keep obsessing. How can it be love when there’s only one side? Mine, and all my pathetic yearning. I’m so ashamed.
I only hope he was not bothered in any way by my sickness. I’m so wholly ashamed to be who I am.
I’m sorry that I’m a closed book. So opaque, not penetrable. I’ve learned to keep my mouth closed, keep my guard up, my walls high and strong. I am afraid of letting people in. Being demolished, gradually, from the inside out. Until I am nothing.
I am sorry that I may seem I am incapable of love. I really can love, sometime love so much that I it scares me. I just don’t want to be broken, I don’t want to be so deep in love that I can’t get out. A hole I’ve dug for myself. Love for me is like digging my own grave.
I am sorry that I keep shining a negative light on all things that seem good. Inside I am actually a hopeless romantic. The world has shown me that those dreams of “happily ever after” should remain as dreams and don’t belong in reality. I don’t mean to ruin everything. I’ve trained myself to search and check 100 times before I trust anything or anyone.
Please give me time. Please be patient. I will soon be able to see your love, your sincerity, the truth. Just wait, I will soon open up to you
One thing I love about this fandom is the CS investigation/analytical skill. They have very good eyes and will dig deeper into the worm hole to find Camren related proof. And for that reason I believed one day the ultimate proof will surface. Rest assured guys.
These bear-like Rahi are given their name due to their tendency to dig underground tunnels with their claws. Their tunnel-digging habits are often considered a disadvantage to the Matoran and the overall environment because they dig holes big enough to fit themselves in (and these bears are HUGE, coming to be slightly larger than a Toa). In most regions, Matoran will fill and shut the tunnel holes closed, but Bo-Matoran forbid it in their region, seeing the Bear’s tunnel holes as a natural occurrence that must remain untouched.
Tunnel Bears dig deep, large holes to look for and feed on insects, worms, lizards, and small mammals like rodents. They also create tunnel systems so they can hibernate in the winter.
Their habit of creating tunnels underground once caused clueless Matoran to find it a mystery as to how Tunnel Bears kept showing up in their villages out of nowhere, but those incidents of Tunnel Bears “appearing from nowhere” occurred before Matoran biologists studied their behavior.
(I know image 6 is a picture of the Bear’s paw, I just felt like showing it off)
Tunnel Bears commonly reside in the forests of Bo-Wari, but have been populating Onu-Wari ever since they discovered said place while digging tunnels. Some have also populated a region that is hardly occupied by the Matoran called the Rural-Urban Pass (will evaluate later, it’s basically a transition road from the Rural regions to the Urban regions of Zakara).
FUCK THE HONDA GAME. FUCK HONDAS IN GENERAL. FUCK PEOPLE. FUCK !
Lemme tell you something about my journey in the Honda game. Been in this shit since I was 15, I’m 23 now. And only met two cool ass mother fuckers in 8 years. Everyone else straight two faced money hungry can’t stand by thier word ass niggas that deserve shit for breakfast everyday. Swear this game is just all about a quick buck. Fuck this shit man. Stupid ass cars don’t have no reason sale value. Literally dig yourself in a hole and when you try to put it up for sale, or let’s say you need money fast and sale your car people don’t know about Honda’s or appreciate one so the max you’ll get for one is like 2500 all decked out. When you put 5gs in the motherfucker! I don’t lose big money like that. I will say I lost alot of money this year . Mainly trusting no good ass niggas. But I’ve learned alot. If your getting into Honda’s make sure your in it with someone you trust to the fullest and will deliver . Niggas will blab all day about what they can do but look at what they driven and how they handle thier shit. Actions will tell you everything. I’m done with these stupid ass cars. Haven’t gotten anything good out of one . But I’ll never give up owning a ek9 with a k24 all with a type r kit and bys front bumper. One day I’ll get the Honda I deserve. And solo, I don’t need anyone but the homies that appreciate my help. Fuck you know it all have nothing to show for it ass lames. So done.
Okay so, we had to dig some holes for some posts for the shed. This was so we could concrete them in so the shed wouldn’t blow over in Autumn or Winter. The teacher and I learned we would need three wheel barrels full of concrete to fill one goddamn hole.
Have you seen the video Kath (busynothings) reblogged of a dog digging holes to help out in the garden? I feel like if Beth had a dog she might teach it to do that (as long as the dog doesn't start digging up her plants later on). Just thought I'd share the thought. :) Have a nice day!
I think Harry would be the one teaching the dog to dig holes. And then taking all the praise when Beth sees what a good job he’s doing
Did terrible in my first two years of high school and I'm scared of what's next.
Did terrible in my first two years of high school and I’m scared of what’s next.
In my first two years of high school I was in a different country and a lot of circumstance and situations which further put me in the hole I’m trying to dig myself out of. My freshman year GPA was 2.0 & sophomore year was 2.70. Presently, I came back to US. I completed junior year with a GPA of 3.9 with 2 honors courses. Next year, in senior year I’m taking an intensive course load with 5 AP’s and 1 honors course (5 AP’s because I didn’t even take one during high school). I’m going to be in the NHS and the academy (the academy is a program for the more advanced kids) and I’m in a bunch of clubs, including Student Government. I was the 11th Grade rep this year and next year I have more than good chances of being the president. But the problem which in the end is that my high school GPA is still going to be quite low, maybe 3.4 at max. I was looking at my good fit colleges websites and my GPA is going to be a major gap. I don’t know if I’m freaking out for no reason or if I really need to do something, a part of me feels like I’ve ruined my chances another part of me is a bit carefree. Do any of you have any recommendations or anything to help me out? Thank you for reading this! (Sorry for any errors on mobile)
@npdjimin idk if uve been keeping up w the drama but the story has been twisted so many times its tiring and annoying to watch someone dig themselves into such a deep hole with no consideration for people who have actually been traumatized and are actually suffering from a real disorder
ave the one fool kite who likes to see a little kid cry. Little less talk, little more skill, little less luck, little more will, gotta face this fella eye to eye. Now that I've seen you chasing moles, climbing trees, digging holes, catching your string on everything passing by why not fly? Wait a minute, what's it doing? It isn't on the ground. It isn't in a tree. It's in the air! Look at that. It's caught the breeze now, It's past the trees now with room to spare...Oh-What a beautiful sight.
wow finally my phone broke blease have morcy. other cavemen.