rating: t+ for sexual joking, swear words, and violence
pairings: nalu, gruvia, gajevy
characters: natsu, lucy, juvia, gray, gajeel, levy
Lucy groaned as the bus went over the third bump during their thirty-minute trip, and Natsu’s stomach lurched. His motion sickness wasn’t as bad as it usually was, but that didn’t mean it was completely gone. Lucy grabbed her satchel from where it was sitting on the floor, afraid of what might happen if they went over a pothole and Natsu’s stomach was feeling particularly upset.
“L-Lucy, can you rub my head?” Natsu asked, his voice waning and weak.
“What? Why?” Lucy was confused for a moment, but when Natsu peered into her eyes with his puppy dog eyes, she couldn’t resist any longer. Sighing softly, she threaded her fingers through his locks. Natsu made a relieved noise and dropped his head onto Lucy’s lap before she could say anything.
The Fakes are taken in one by one for questioning there isn’t any real evidence of course (Michael’s napalm made sure of that) but the cops know it was them and can hold them on suspicion so they do out of spite and the hope that one of them admits to something incriminating.
and it goes like this;
They take Gavin first because they’re under the impression he’s the unassuming tech guy, everyone knows he’s kind of a fuck up and a clown right? So they take him first hoping he’ll crack.That he’d be easy.
But the thing is Gavin is old. Second oldest next to Ryan and he has seen far worse than an “interrogation” room in LSPD headquarters. He’s lived through countless wars and the freaking middle ages for Christ’s sake. These men do not scare him.
So he sits without moving, hardly blinking and endures their interrogation. He doesn’t react when they hit him and he hardly ever speaks. If he does it’s never English in fact none of their translators can even decipher it as it hasn’t been spoken aloud in thousands of years. It’s never more than a single sentence before he falls silent.
Gavin endures and smiles.
What’s more is his Lawyer always seems to know and have him out within mere hours of being brought in even though he’s never called.
They go for Jones next thinking perhaps his temper will get the best of him after seeing Free’s blackened eye. It might have worked back before he knew about immortality and the endless years at his disposal.
Once he’s in the room he smiles at them, makes every show at cooperation, extorts them for a good meal for information. Play’s friendly with the officers sent to talk with them but makes a show of drawing it out wasting their time.
When they finally get to the questioning he answers every question with one of his own. Channeling his inner Gavin with question after inane question, and a plethora of movie factoids, quip after quip until they bring in the cops who know how to hit without leaving a mark on his skin.
He sings when they hit him, words shouted out off key and warbling between punches. What’s a little pain when he can’t die anyway? He sings as he limps out the front door leaning on his lawyer who showed up at the precise minute they were legally required to release him even though he never called.
They stopped trying to interrogate Ray when he hung himself for the forth time in his cell. They don’t know how he does it, (He actually dies of course but hey immortality!) but the ME declares him dead and ships him off to the morgue and within hours he’s walking the streets or strolling into the station demanding his DS back claiming to have been released by an officer who shoved him out onto the streets without his stuff.
They can’t prove anything either which is infuriating, the death certificates and records always vanish within minutes of conception. They don’t know how he does it and every time he does internal affairs pays them a visit. More crooked cops go down. The M.E ends up in an institution.
They stop bringing in Ray.
Jack is just as useless to them.
Always ready with a rock solid alibi, out of their custody in under an hour, every time. On one memorable time her lawyer had been waiting on the station steps and managed to get her released before she’d entered the building. Unlike the others she always used her phone call.
Jack is the only one without a record to try and use as leverage. But then they had learned that getting leverage on Jack Pattillo was a dangerous thing.
The only time Jack Pattillo had been kept in custody for more than an hour was when they discovered records of her Transition. They immediately attempted to use it against her. Misgendered and imprisoned overnight with men, interrogated as a man. Beaten as a man.
Jack let them with fire in her eyes and blood on her teeth. Her Lawyer appeared whisked her away and the department was battling a lawsuit in less than an hour. Two weeks later the lead interrogator, his partner and both of their wives went missing. Their bodies have never been found and of course Ms. Pattillo had a rock solid alibi.
Trying to get Ramsey into an interrogation room is like trying to grasp at smoke. He has filed successfully restraining orders on half of the officers at the LSPD and his secretary, one Miss. Lindsey Tuggey, is an expert at giving them the royal run around.
On top of that Geoff owns so many properties that it’s like playing Russian Roulette trying to figure out where he’s living most of the time. If he’s even on this side of the country that is. Half the time they catch up with him his lawyer just so happens to be stopping by and they don’t even get as far as ‘Hello Mr. Ramsey.’
Needless to say they’ve never successfully interrogated the man. Any long conversations between Ramsey and other officers are quickly and disturbingly turned to the men’s families. Always polite and inane questions, never a threat to be had but Ramsey know’s all their names and the names of their children
Last but never least is The Vagabond.
And really they have no idea where to start, no photo, no face, no dna, no prints, no hair. Nothing. Any officer or detective that comes within arms reach of The Vagabond meets a horrible end.
Besides even if they did catch him he probably wouldn’t be in their custody for long. Like all the Fakes odds were he would have the best Criminal Defense Lawyer around barging through the station demanding his client’s release.
Defense Attorney James Haywood was cursed on sight by the vast majority of the LSPD and every Judge in the county. But hey he was just a guy doing his job.