Let You Go
Genre: Angst, mentions of sex
Pairing: Jaebum x Reader
Summary: Jaebum can’t stop thinking about you.
A/N: This is my second installment of my Never Ever Drabbles series. I wrote this based on my screenshots of the MV and what they made me think of/feel. This one was particularly fun to write; and there is a smutty part two! (the link is at the end of this one)
He felt so stupid. So fucking stupid.
He knew you would be there, yet he went anyway. He knew you would be with that new guy, but he didn’t care. He was sure he could win you back. His ego possessed him entirely and wouldn’t let up until he at least tried to sway your heart in his favor, one last time.
Jaebum now speeds away from the lavish party in his BMW with a vice grip on the steering wheel, teeth gritting to the point of pain.
Oh, how wrong he was.
He tried to not think about you in that dress-that tight little red number he bought for you last summer. He tried to not think about the curve of your wine-stained lips or the sweet scent of your perfume-the one you both loved the most. He tried to not think of the how that new guy’s name left your lips in the most endearing way, the way his own name used to.
He saw you had posted on your social media that you were en-route to the annual company gala. That picture of your delicate, manicured fingers laced with someone else’s triggered a rage in Jaebum that he didn’t know he was harboring. Without much thought, he quite literally raced against time in his car to beat you there. He wanted to confront you boldly and honestly in hopes that you’d see how serious he was to earn your forgiveness. He was in no way prepared for this high-end event, wearing only a basic sweater and a pair of ripped black jeans.
Upon arrival, he forwent the valet and parked his BMW a block away from the hosting hotel. His legs carried him swiftly past the paparazzi and around an alleyway adjacent to the front entrance. He entered through a side door and hid himself in a dark corner of the foyer, waiting for any sign that you’d arrived.
His heart skipped several beats when his ears picked up your name leaving the paparazzi’s mouths in shouts.
“Y/n! You look gorgeous!”
“Who are you wearing, Y/n?”
“Where is Jaebum?”
“Who is this new man?”
“Y/n, what happened to Jaebum?”
What happened to Jaebum, indeed.
He couldn’t hear your responses to their prying, but something you did caused their cheering to amplify tenfold. He figured that was the perfect time to confront you. With bated breath, he emerged from the shadow of the corner to be met with the crushing sight of your lips locked with your date in front of the cameras.
You and Namjoon were smiling into the kiss, your fingers teasing the back of his purple hair. He pulled you closer and dipped you down slightly, both of you having a little fun in entertaining the hysterical crowd. At least, it was fun, until you heard their gasps of horror. You broke the kiss in confusion and glanced around until your eyes finally pinned the poor soul in front of you.
He wore a look of absolute anguish on his features, his eyes flitting dejectedly between you and Namjoon.
“J-Jaebum?” your voice cracked.
The crowd fell dead-silent, eagerly anticipating whatever drama was sure to ensue.
Namjoon wrapped a possessive arm around your waist and sized Jaebum up with a smirk. Shoulders tense, brows furrowed and hands clenched in solid fists, Jaebum’s glare became deadly enough to kill a man. He probably would have lunged for the purple-haired one right then if you hadn’t spoken up again.
“Jaebum, wh-what are you doing here?”
He tore his eyes from Namjoon to you. As enraged as he was, he couldn’t help but appreciate your beauty. He allowed his eyes to trail up and down the length of your body for a moment, before settling on your face. The look you gave him, that familiar mixture of confusion and heartbreak, was the final nail in the coffin. It was enough to send a panic through his veins. It was enough to make him leave- just like he left you before.
And so he did.
Here he is now, sitting idly in his driveway after another frantic bout of exhaustion on the tires of his BMW; his mind is plagued with thoughts of you.
Jaebum tries not to think about you, wrapped in that new guy’s arms, consumed by that new guy’s kiss. He tries not to think about where that new guy’s hands have touched… sacred places only he used to know. He tries not to think about how you moan that new guy’s name as he ravishes you, the way he used to have the pleasure of doing. Hell, that new guy is probably fucking you right now- making you scream his name, feeling you writhe against him in pleasure until you finally come undone with those sweet whimpers and moans…
Jaebum slams his hands hard against the steering wheel. In a huff, he exits his car and flings the door shut, almost hard enough to shatter the window. His fingers stretch and contract back into fists upon entering his house, rage boiling over and finally causing him to force his right hand through the wall near the front door. He lets out a shout of equal amounts of pain and despair.
Shaking his hand to numb the pain, he takes in the dark kitchen area before making a dismal path to his cabinet. A large, unopened handle of soju sits on the top shelf, waiting for him to drown his sorrows.
“I can’t let you go.”
He slumps haphazardly onto his couch, using his uninjured hand to twist the cap off of the liquor. He pulls a large gulp from the bottle, eyes squinting from the unforgiving burn of the room-temperature liquid.
“I can’t let you go…”
One hour passes. Then another. A third of the liter is in his stomach, intoxicating his veins now.
“I c-can’t let you g-go…”
Words slurred. Eyes drooping. Another hour gone. Bottle half empty.
“I can’t… I can’t…”
He’s barely coherent now, so much so that he almost doesn’t notice the knocking on his front door.
“WHAT!?” He heaves, annoyed at the interruption of his brooding.
“Jaebum. Open the door.”
His ears perk up, and his head drunkenly bobs forward, trying to get a clear look of the door in the darkness.
“Yn,” he mumbles in disbelief. “This isn’t r-real… I’m too f-f-fucked up-p.” He steadies both hands on the couch at his sides before hauling himself off of it, catching himself on the coffee table to avoid falling. He hears another knock, it’s more urgent this time.
“I’m coming! Fuck!”
It takes him a few tries to reach out and grab the door handle with everything in his vision being doubled and tripled. Finally, with a half-assed yank of the door, he’s met with the sight of you, looking just as inebriated as he is. You’re leaning against the doorframe, struggling to keep from falling forward.
“Jaebum…” your eyes light up upon seeing him.
His breath hitches in his throat.