a win! a real live win!

We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy.

But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable.

You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real–but you create the context. And the context is everything.

The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.

Today was one of the most unexpected and crucial days for John Murphy’s character development in all of The 100

John Murphy- who has been beaten, outcasted and left for dead by his own people, who once only knew how to survive for himself first and foremost, who was once near suicide when he realized he had no one left, who once thought he was worthless and unlovable, who shut out the world that was always cruel to him- just admitted that he loved someone

He just did that

John Murphy has found a reason to live, a purpose to his survival, someone to share life’s pain with and make it all bearable. He found someone that he’s willing to protect at any cost- and when her life is threatened, he’ll make it known

John Murphy is screaming to the world that he’s in love with Emori, and that he’s more proud of her than he ever could be in himself.

From a selfish, murdering psychopath to a selfless man in love.

This moment was so brief and rather pushed aside next to everything else that happened tonight, but this one line was so beyond important that I refuse to let it be lost in translation. I can’t wait for the day they are truly able to say “I love you” face to face. I cannot wait

Asuka makes History!!

History was made at NXT Southaven just moments ago as Asuka (with Ruby Riot) defeated Peyton Royce & Billie Kay and extended her streak to 174 matches in WWE without being pinned or submitted. With this match, Asuka has now officially surpassed Goldberg’s streak in both way. The real numbers one and the inflated numbers one

This is not her 174th win in WWE, it’s her 174th match where she was’t pinned or submitted. As far as winning goes, this is 169th win for Asuka which means that last night she surpassed Goldberg by numbers of wins as well because with 5 “No Contest” matces Goldberg is at 168

Long Live the Empress!

Originally posted by wowsuchwrestles

Originally posted by frentique

Originally posted by unique-opportunity

Otherkin are not delusional. We just remember who we were, or who we were meant to be.

Wolfkin are not furries by definition. They just wish they could be with their pack again.

Fictionkin do not just really really like a fictional character. They are that character in heart and soul.

Ghostkin don’t just really love spooky things. They feel at home among them, because that is where they lived.

Otherkinity isn’t a mental deviance. But otherkin can be mentally ill, so treat those who are with the respect they deserve for the fight they’re winning. Because if you’re alive, you’re fighting. And you’re winning.

Dragonkin don’t eat real gemstones/valuable metals. They know humans can’t eat those, they aren’t stupid.

Spacekin are as normal and as valid as anybody else. Planets may well have souls too.

Plantkin do not care if you mow your lawn. They may care about deforestation, but hell, so should you.

Otherkin are human too. Treat us with respect.

Birdkin don’t think they can fly. All otherkin are aware their bodies are human.

Merkin don’t just love the water. Their souls remember that the water is their home.

Elementalkin aren’t just trying to be special snowflakes. They were the heart and soul of their element, and their souls remember it.

You wouldn’t tell someone their religion is invalid. You hopefully don’t go around telling people their gender identities or sexualities don’t exist. So why tell us we can’t be otherkin? Treat us as you would any other human being. With respect and kindness. Try to move forward to a better understanding, instead of dismissing us out of hand.

(Sorry I couldn’t include every kintype, there are just so many!)

anonymous asked:

How about a date at a carnival with mccree? I need headcanons for this I NEED it

I need it as well anon, so thank you!

  • McCree would pretend that he’s going to the carnival for your benefit but his eyes sparkle too much when you talk about going for it to be just for you
  • The first thing he would do there is get churros, cotton candy, and corn dogs
    • Will feed you the cotton candy and then steal a kiss
    • “Didn’t think your kisses could get any sweeter, darlin’.”
  • He’d let you take the lead about where to go first, but you know you’ll be going everywhere so it doesn’t matter
  • Would be insulted when the guy that guesses people’s weight goes 15 pounds over what he actually is
    • You’d have to comfort him and say the serape adds ten pounds
    • More corn dogs after you convince him he’s perfect
  • If you think you’re going home without a prize from the shooting booth you are sorely mistaken
    • The guy running the booth will cringe at the sight of McCree, because you can’t dress like a cowboy and have a BAMF belt buckle if you aren’t a good shot
    • His jaw still drops when McCree shoots everything within three seconds
    • You get your pick of the prizes; maybe you go with the giant Gorilla because it reminds you of someone???
    • “What’s my prize, sweetheart?”
    • You go to kiss him on the cheek but he’ll grab you around the waist and dip you down for a deep kiss
    • “That’s more like it!”
  • He carries your prize around for you
  • You’ll be feeding him cotton candy from then on
  • You’ll be questioning how he can eat so much without getting sick
  • He wants to go on the Tilt-a-Whirl but you have to stop him because then he really will get sick
  • If you’re good at ring toss you win him a prize, if not, he tries to win you something
    • He’s surprisingly bad at ring toss
    • But you manage to win a small keychain
  • Dancing to the live performances
  • He loves to twirl you and then pull you real close and not let go
    • Would probably try to slow dance to fast music too
  • Ending the night with a Ferris Wheel ride!
  • Will def give you his serape or jacket if you get cold
  • Arm wrapped around you the entire time
  • Bright colourful lights that reflect in his eyes
  • Neither of you see the view, just staring at each other
  • Kisses at the top, and the way up, and the way down
  • Will return to the ring toss demanding another chance to prove his skill
    • He proves he still has no skill
  • So you take him back to the shooting booth and let him win you another huge stuffie
  • Instead a small teddy bear with a cowboy hat catches your eye and you go for that
  • Once home he won’t want to go to bed
  • Will set up a makeshift ring toss with D.Va and Lucio to practice
    • He gets a little better
  • Says he’ll win you something big tomorrow on your next date at the carnival

watching this journey has legit had me crying. | long live brittana  ❤

I find this whole BTS at the BBMA thing really amusing. Americans (I am one, but like, Most Americans) don’t understand.

Firstly, they don’t understand the importance. BTS winning this award is not trivial. It isn’t something to brush aside and treat like it’s just a “stupid award.” They don’t understand what KPOP groups go through to win “stupid awards.” They don’t understand that at the beginning of every KPOP group, there was a time when that group didn’t matter, had little in terms of money, food, and even the comfort of real beds, and that winning those “stupid awards” meant they had a shot at maybe someday actually making money (and, you know, living their dreams of being performers and musicians). And this award in Particular is of such historic importance for KPOP. This is unheard of. KPOP groups don’t get nominated for Billboard Awards. It just doesn’t happen. This is history in the making on SO many levels (BTS isn’t even from a big three company), and this is BTS breaking through a barrier that no KPOP group has ever even Approached. Not only that, BTS will gain so much viewership from this whole thing. Even just being Nominated will do that. Imagine if/when they win. Everyone will wanna know who the hell they are.

Secondly (LOL, you thought I was done. WRONG.), Americans don’t realize that KPOP fans are freaking TRAINED for this shit. Daily voting? We on that. 100 votes per day? I will sit here and use every single one (doesn’t even take that long, honestly). The MAMAs, the Melon Awards, everything has prepared us for this day. American fans of American artists aren’t used to the hardcore voting, but KPOP fans know what it’s like to be fighting tooth and claw for their group to get a little recognition. In fact, this is easy. They aren’t even asking us to stream music videos 24/7 for a few months. If KPOP started to permeate American awards shows, we would Destroy the competition when it came to voting. We already are.

Because for KPOP (Yes, KPOP, not just BTS. The more exposure the world has to the genre, the better for everyone), this isn’t a stupid award. It isn’t trivial. This matters. This is important. And this is what we’ve been trained for.

Fields of Gold - Haro - Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Pairing: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Rating/Genre: G, romance/friendship
Additional Tags: Married Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, five years later, Yuuri wins ALL the gold, canon compliant
Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont, Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Mari, misc. cast
Summary: It’s difficult to believe that he’s inspired people like this; that children and teenagers in Japan and around the world lace up their skates or put on skates for the first time and think of Yuuri Katsuki, just like they think of or thought of Victor Nikiforov. He almost can’t take it. It’s too unbelievable. He’s just… Yuuri, after all.

Yuuri Katsuki with a stack of gold medals is still just Yuuri Katsuki.

He can imagine Victor repeating the same words back to him with his own name and how he’d argue that is absolutely not the case, and he laughs inwardly a bit at that.

(The story in which Yuuri Katsuki wins everything there is to win and retires as Japan’s living legend, because he’s incredible and beautiful and he deserves it. Aka ‘Yuuri wins all the gold’, the fic.)

I’ve been talking about this oneshot for weeks, and here it is, finally complete! It topped out at about 14,500 words. I want to thank everyone who has encouraged me, both in real life and on tumblr; especially my beta reader and constant cheerleader @abarero​ as well as @omgkatsudonplease​ for giving me the idea to include the social media interludes (which ended up being an integral part of the story).

Yuuri Katsuki, as a character, means the world to me. I’ve been a diehard skating fan since I was a little kid, so when YOI was announced I was hyped, but I didn’t expect it to impact me the way it did. It’s an excellent show, but if it weren’t for Yuuri (and Victor and their incredible relationship), there’s just no way I’d be invested the way I am. Watching him grow as a person and an athlete, watching him fall in love and discover that he is loved, was such a rewarding experience for me. This fic is dedicated to him, and subsequently, to any fan who loves Yuuri the way I do or has been impacted by this wonderful character. I want Yuuri to have everything he could ever want or dream of.

I hope you all enjoy this story. Comments and reviews are appreciated. :)

Lose a few friends.
Offend a few people.
Say no if you mean no.
Say yes if you mean yes.
Nice little boys and girls
never win mommy’s love anyway.
They only become beggars.
Stop trying to do it right.
Do it real instead.
You don’t have to win love.
Only live it.
Weep. Wail. Laugh like you did when you were young and didn’t care what people thought about you.
Speak your truth without apology.
Let your heart break.
Let your certainties crumble.
Be a blubbering mess on the ground of love.
Life is too short to hold it all together.
You have longed to fall apart.
You will lose ‘safety’
but you will feel
so alive.
—  DO IT REAL – Jeff Foster
I Love You - Jake Guentzel

Originally posted by intermissionpenguins

Ok, I apologize for my little hiatus.  I’ve been dealing with some boy issues lately that have really been getting to me.  So I’m trying to deal with that and work and life is just busy but thank you for being so understanding.  Here’s a little bit of Jake Guentzel to get us back into it!! Much love pals! <3

Word count: 1258

Warnings: none! just fluff!

Request: “Hiii, could you do 13 or 32 with Jake Guentzel?” - @emmyxoxo13

Prompt: prompt #13 “Kiss me.” & #32 “I think I’m in love with you.”

Up next: Alex Wennberg


“Jake!” you squealed as you spotted his blonde hair in the crowded airport.  As you jogged closer his goofy grin game into view.  He took a couple steps towards you and the two of grasped each other in an embrace.

Keep reading

• Turbo being plugged in for the first time
• Turbo winning his first race
• And his second
• And third
• He’s sure it’s just luck because he is a new game, but he can’t deny the fact that winning a race is his favorite feeling
• The more races he wins the more word gets out about this rookie racer with a lot of promise
• Turbo, being the new game he still is, getting really flustered when he goes into central station and finds out he has fans
• Newbie little Turbo making friends with the twins in blue because he still doesn’t fully know how competitive racing is
• Turbo recognizing that kids come over and over again to race him and he can’t believe it because he’s just a little racer game but so many people, real live people, love him
• Turbo hearing people call him “The King Of Kart Racing” for the first time
• Just…….Turbo before all the fame went to his head and he began to game jump

But Also:
• The pain of his code being ripped apart as both his game and the one he jumped to are unplugged
• The identity crisis as he reminds himself that he’s Turbo, even though that without a game he’s nobody
• Having to survive in the shadows because he’s technically wanted for murder
• Slowly going crazy as his code, the very thing that makes him who he is, screams at him to drive a race car drive a race car drive a race car drive a race car dr̴iv̕e͞ a͏ ra̵cę c͜ar͏ dri̷̢vȩ̴̷ ̶̀́a҉̷ ̨r҉̵à̵͜c͘͡e̕ ̴ca̴̛͏r͠͏̕ dr̸̷̶i̛v̴̴ę̵ ̕͟͝a͏͘͝͡ ̷͟͟ŕ̶̛͢a͟͠͠c͢͢͡͡e̴̸̢͜ ̨̀ç̴̷͟a̸̧r̵̸͟

And Finally:
• Turbo racing for the first time again in over 10 years in Sugar Rush and almost crying because god he’s missed this so much

Hamilton Hogwarts Au

Okay take 2 so like I’ve never seen or even read anything revolving around the Wizarding world in America because honestly it’s cool but it never really caught my eye anyways so all this will be taking place in Hogwarts

•Shouldn’t they go to the American Wizarding School? You ask

•How would them being in Hogwarts make sense? You ask


•I’m pretty sure there would be some kind of program especially if they want to get more involved with foreign Wizarding cultures and governments. Because honestly there has to be some sort of foreign policy in Wizarding government

•Alex, Aaron, Schuyler Sisters, Herc, John, James, and Thomas are all American exchange students from ilvermorny

•Lafayette is French exchange student from Beauxbatons

• Alex, Angelica, and John were all placed in Gryffindor

•Eliza and Aaron were placed in Ravenclaw

•James and Thomas were placed in Slytherin

• I was debating in placing Alexander in slytherin since his character seems to revolve around doing everything he can to make sure he himself makes it ahead and has a legacy but then I remembered that he as a person is very prideful and impulsive which ultimately is his fatal flaw. He makes a legacy and he makes it ahead it causes him his marriage, his firstborn, and his good name. Which I thought was very gryffindor of him.

•Peggy, Herc, and Lafayette were placed in

•The Schuyler Sister’s come from a well known Wizard family that came from Europe to America during the revolutionary war

•John is a half blood while Herc is a muggleborn

•John is really into social justice for the Wizarding world and when he meets Herc he’s really interested to learn about the no-maj social justice

•Lafayette is a pure-blood family that are known to be “muggle lovers” which is why his name sake is well known in muggle history

•Alexander and Thomas still hate each other but they’re both friends with everyone else

•Alexander and Aaron come from the same (wizard) foster home

•Alex is a half-blood with a pure-blood name Hamilton which a very old wizard family (but it’s more like a lower class wizard family like the Weasleys) so he was immediately placed in a foster home where the care taker was a wizard

•Alexander’s mother was Puerto Rican

•Him and John have conversations in Spanish sometimes

•Burr is a muggleborn, his parents died when he was 9 and his accidental magic started up soon after (he turned a kid’s, who was bullying him, into a spider. The kid bit into said spider.)

•the American magical government quickly moved him into a different foster home

•Him and Alex quickly became frienemies and they got their letters to ilvermorny

•when they get to Hogwarts they learn the different slang that their European counterparts have

•"WTF Muggle sounds way cooler than no-maj!!!!!“

•Alexander is now determined to replace no-maj with muggle

•"Alexander it doesn’t matter which way we say it, it all means the same thing.”


•Alex becomes the Seeker for Gryffindor while John becomes a beater and Angelica becomes Griffyndor’s greatest Keeper they’ve ever had in years

•People don’t want Angelica to go back to America THEY NEED HER

•You can usually find Eliza in the Gryffindor stands cheering on her sister (and her secret crush) whenever they play against her house or when they play against Slytherin


•James: “Do you even like quidditch Thomas?”

•Jefferson: “No, but I will as long as it pisses off Hamilton.”

•she usually drags Aaron with her to their saved seats next to Peggy, Laf, and Herc, but he refuses to wear Gryffindor colors while Eliza is totally decked out

•Burr gets picked on for being a muggleborn a lot by closed minded pure-bloods and Alexander saw this one time and he was ABOUT TO CUT A BITCH when Eliza came in out of no where and gave them a piece of her mind with really great points and historical figures that so happened to be “mud bloods”

•Alexander fell in love with her there and then

• Alexander: “I’m going to marry her one day.”

•Hamsquad + Burr: “You have to talk to her first.” “Angelica will rip off your dick before you have the chance.” “I wish you the best of luck, mom ami.” “5 sickles that he embarrasses himself on the first date.”

•They all make a bet that he either bombs the date really bad or he does cha cha real smooth

•Lafayette wins by betting that “Alex makes a fool of himself but ultimately wins Eliza’s heart.”

•He knew he was going to win because he’s the only one out of the betting table to know that Eliza has had a huge crush on him since the first time she laid eyes on him

•because him and Peggy have gossip nights ever once in a while to talk shit about other people

•the Hamsquad start up the first muggle world club where kids can learn about muggles and their way of living to help stop prejudice against them

•"What the heck is a Me-me?“

•"It’s pronounced meme and its a way of life.”

•Herc teaches kids how to sew by hand since so many of them use magic to help them with that

•meanwhile Peggy helps Lafayette with his English

•And ultimately the Americans have trouble understanding what their fellow students especially when they have really heavy accents

•"excuse me can you tell us how to get to the library?“

•”*British nonsense that makes no sense to their American ears*“

•"okay thanks” *turns around to the rest of the group* “what the FUCK did he just say?”

Horror With A Dash of Sass / Yugyeom

Summary : Anon requested a drabble where Yugyeom and the reader are watching horror movies and are sassing each other the entire time.
Genre : Funny, Fluff
Word Count : 1134

Y/N = Your Name


Originally posted by thekpopquartet

Yugy-OH! : Baby?

Yugy-OH! : Hello?

Yugy-OH! : Are you asleep?

Yugy-OH! : You are aren’t you?


Yugy-OH! : Ms
Yugy-OH! : Sleepy
Yugy-OH! : Pants

Yugy-OH! : I’m not stopping until you reply :)

You slowly blink your eyes as you finally arise from your mid-day slumber.


Frantically, you pat areound your bed. Blindly searching for your phone’s whereabouts.


You threw your blanket to the floor, sighing when you heard a stern thud echo throug your room. Hopping off of your bed, you restart the tedious search for your phone.


You lift up your blanket and reach for your phone

                                               *14 new messages from Yugy-OH!*

You quickly unlock your phone, smiling as you read the text messages from your determined boyfriend.

Yugy-OH! : I’m serious sleepy butt
Yugy-OH! : I could do this all day if I have to
Yugy-OH! : Jagi????
Yugy-OH! : Fine if thats how its gonna be ;)
Yugy-OH! : A
Yugy-OH! : B

Yugy-OH! : C
Yugy-OH! : D
Yugy-OH! : E

You scrambled to type and send your response. If you knew Yugyeom, which you did, he would send you the entire english alphabet frontwards and backwards until you replied.

You : IM UP
Yugy-OH! : FINALLY!!!!!! Were you asleep ??;)
You : ……….
Yugy-OH! : I KNEW IT !!! Lol now that youre back from the dead, what time should i be there ???
You : Never :(
Yugy-OH! : OH HUSH! I’ll be there in 30
You : You better bring food ;P
Yugy-OH! : Yeah yeah yeah :)

You set your phone down and made your way into the bathroom, you quickly brushed your teeth and made yourself not look like you just took a three hour nap. Grabbing your phone from your nightstand, you walked into the kitchen, put popcorn into the microwave, and grabbed drinks from the fridge. As you sat the drinks and snacks down onto the living room table, there was a knock at the door. You skipped to the door and swung the door open, a grinning Yugyeom stepped through the threshold.

“Hey baby, did you sleep well?” There was a little humor in his voice, but you can tell that he was being genuine. You took the food from his arms, so he could properly remove his shoes.

“It was amazing actually.. until you ruined it.” You winked at him as you went to grab plates and eating utensils from the kitchen.

“But you still love me, so it doesn’t matter!” You could practically hear the smile in his voice. He grabbed the movies from his bag and set them out onto the table.

“Mmhmm, whatever…” Yopu walked back into the room and started putting the food onto plates. “What movies are we watching on this fine Friday night?”

“We have…” Yugyeom holds up each movie as he reads the titles. “Inisdious, Lights Out, and Halloween.”

“Hmmm… Let’s watch Halloween first!”

“Alrighty… Try not to get too scared, we have a whole marathon ahead of us.”

“Oh please, we both know you’re going to be the one hiding behind me.”  You scoffed and rolled your eyes as you shook your head.

“We’ll see about that, Ms. Scaredy Sleep Pants.” Yugyeom plopped onto the couch beside you just as the movie started to play. Both of you grabbing a plate, anxiously awaiting what this movie had in store.

                                                                     * * * * *

“OH WHATVER! You jumped Way more times than I did!” You exclaimed loudly as you got up from the couch, removing Halloween from the DVD player and replacing it with Lights Out.

“I only jumped once! You wee practically shaking throughout the entire movie.”

When you finished putting the movie in, you made your way back over to the couch.


“We’ll see who’s more scared during this movie!”

“Yeah we will! And it sure as hell won’t be me!”



                                                                    * * * * *


“IT COUNTED BEFORE IT STARTED!” You said as you watched Yugyeom get up from his spot beside you, he walked to the DVD player and removed Lights Out.

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT IT! IT WAS JUMP SCARE AFTER JUMP SCARE!” Yugyeom pouted softly as he reclaimed his seat beside you.

“You know, it’s not too late to back out, Sir Jumps-A-Lot.” You cooed softly into his ear as you slightly ruffled his soft brown locks.

“NO WAY! We have one last movie left.”

“Fine, have it your way!” You giggled as you turned your attention back to the television screen.

                                                                    * * * * *

“YOU WERE SO SCARED! I WIN!” Yugyeom jumped from his spot on the couch, hpping up and down around the living room.


“Nope. I win. You lose.” Yugyeom was now running throughout the living room, doing celebratory dances.

“Yugyeom, I will trip you.”

“Aw baby, don’t be a sore loser.” He finally stopped running around the room. He walked up to you and nudged his face into the crook of your neck. You playfully pushed him away as an idea popped into your head.

“We’ll see who the real sore loser is tonight. Good night, Yugy!” You shut the TV and the lights off, walked into your room, and closed and locked the door.

“Baby? I was just kidding!” You could hear Yugyeom scrambling in the living room trying to navigate his way through the darkness to your bedroom. You giggled silently as he finally reached your door.

“Open the door please! It’s dark out here.” You could hear the fear in his voice, although he tried to laugh it off. You swung the door open and collided with Yugyeom’s back as he tumbled into the room.

“Now who’s the Scaredy Cat now?” You asked as you regained your stance and pulled him into the room, shutting the door behind you both.

“I think I’m gonna need you to cuddle me tonight.” You both laughed loudly as you crawled into bed, you reached over to turn off the light when you heard Yugyeom’s voice.

“I think you should leave that on for another hour or so, just until you fall asleep. I wouldnt want you to be scared or anything.” 

“Yeah, because I’m the one who’s scared.” You put your arms around Yugyeom and drifted off to sleep.

who should you fight: mystic messenger edition

MC | who wins: ??? ? ??

  • she’s unpredictable; she might mom you into submission with love and affection, or she might gnaw on your arm, verbally tear you apart, and then fling somebody out a window. not worth the risk.

Yoosung | who wins: you, but you’ll feel awful about it

  • he’s got good hand-eye coordination and is a master at holding grudges, but he’s all bark and no bite. go for the eyes. he’s crying now. look at what you’ve done. you monster.

Jaehee | who wins: she does, but you’ll thank her

  • she’s overworked and underpaid, lives off of coffee and two hours of sleep, probably hasn’t eaten real food since 2009, and knows judo. she has nothing to lose; she’ll break your neck, and you should feel honored.

Zen | who wins: cat

  • he works out, so he could most likely easily win in a fair fight. he’s old fashioned though, so if you’re a girl, it’ll just take a little flirting to get him to surrender. everyone else, carry some kittens in your pockets. easy win.

Jumin | who wins: you, but also not you

  • punch him in the face. just fuckign do it. he won’t expect it, he’s never done physical labor in his life. a twelve year old could take him. zen will help. it’s worth the jail time

Saeyoung | who wins: nobody

  • he doesn’t care about himself, he wants you to kick his ass. no one is having fun in this situation.

V | who wins: don’t

  • leave this poor sad man alone

Rika | who wins: her, but fight her anyway

  • she has a small army of cultists backing her up and she could probably claw your eyes out (too), but she’s done some shit so she needs someone to fight her

Saeran | who wins: he does

  • he’s got a gun my dude.
Who to fight: M*A*S*H Edition

Hawkeye Pierce: Dude of course you want to fight Hawkeye, fight him in the middle of camp and punch him in his smug mouth. He can’t fight for shit and he’s probably drunk anyway, but he might make you feel bad about winning and hate you forever. Don’t listen to the lies, you wanted this, everyone wanted this. Fight Hawkeye.

Trapper John: Like I guess you can fight Trapper but the man’s built like a brick shithouse and those arms of his have spent a lot of time hurling footballs around, it could get pretty nasty. If you want to take him on though at the end he’ll probably buy you a drink, no hard feelings. Sure, fight Trapper.

B.J Hunnicutt: Do not fight B.J. This is a warning for your safety, do not fight B.J under any circumstances. He is a ball of repressed rage just waiting for somebody to start some shit, and you may win the battle, it’s a 50/50 chance, but you cannot win the war. He is a sneaky motherfucker and he will get you back. You don’t know where or when but he’ll get you, you’ll live in paranoia and fear for the rest of your life. He’ll be there. Waiting. Also he doesn’t have a real name, possibly a witch??? Do not fight B.J ever!!!!  

Hot Lips Houlihan: Margaret is also a ball of rage and will go hog wild at you, every object will become a weapon and watch out, she bites. But it’s not impossible to take her out if you watch her wild swings. If you win you will gain an enemy for life though, so be warned. She will follow you around forever. If you’re looking for a challenge fight Margaret.

Charles E. Winchester III: Charles is a big man and good at haranguing people but the upper class don’t know how to fight without paying someone to do it for them, so if you want a little social leveling do it. He’ll shout a lot but will get very confused when you start fighting him, he won’t expect it. Break the system, fight Charles.

Radar O’Reilly: Why the fuck would you want to fight Radar??? He’s a small sunshine boy and you want to punch that innocent corn-fed face? Granted, he’ll put up a fight but it’ll be like being attacked by a tiny puppy, and the entire camp will come down on your ass. You will be destroyed. Everyone in camp will take turns beating your fucking cowardly, morally bankrupt ass to Tokyo and back. They’ll take you down. Don’t even think about it, not just because it’s sacrilege but so you don’t have to eat your food through a straw for the rest of your life. Don’t fight Radar.

Henry Blake: Henry is basically a pear with noodle arms so if you’re looking for a quick victory all you have to do is get inside his reach and he’ll fold like a bad poker hand. Fight Henry. 

Frank Burns: Absolutely fight Frank anywhere, anytime. Fight him in the Swamp, fight him in the mess tent, fight him in O.R. He’s easier than Henry so one punch in his stupid ferret face and he’ll crumple and start crying really pathetically but you won’t feel bad about it. It will feel good. Do it, I highly recommend fighting Frank.

Maxwell Klinger: Dude, do you think a guy who has gone to such lengths to get a discharge will not take this opportunity? It might get weird, he might try to get you to break his legs or lightly stab him or something. But it won’t be a one-sided fight, he will come at you with everything he’s got so be careful, Klinger fights dirty. I guess you can fight Klinger if you want.

Father Mulcahy: Dude, dude why would you fight the damn priest? Like not only is he the priest, he is the sweetest person ever and also a right hook like the wrath of god. Not only will he completely hammer your fool ass into the ground, you’ll be lying there regretting your sins when you’ll get struck by a bolt of lighting and then Father Mulcahy will make sure you get into Heaven anyway because he is such a nice guy. Don’t fight the Padre, you awful sinner.

Colonel Potter: Colonel Potter may be a tiny adorable old man but he has lived through like ten world wars and he will fuck you up so bad he’s going to play polo with your head and then paint a picture of your shameful defeat. Don’t fight Potter.