a whole store

Whats up y’all??

Anyone find it curious that we haven’t had any Whole Foods or Grocery Store or jogging etc etc etc sightings? Or airport, hotel, other wedding pics etc etc etc?? No fans in the south this time?? 

I mean that’s interesting right?? 

Seems the man can actually not be seen when he wants to… 

And where the heck is Cait?? How come she NEVER has any fan pics?? 

Just think of all the cute karolsen dates we could’ve got. He probably would’ve brought her the whole sweets store for Valentine’s day…we could’ve gotten them being journalist together and him helping her with that and if they still wanted to do the Gaurdain storyline there would’ve been no secrecy they could’ve trained together she could be in a relationship with someone who actually respects her and doesn’t see her as just some prize

Originally posted by giphygiff

I was browsing the nintendo store and was kind of saddened to see that they are dividing their gift ideas by gender.

So out of curiosity I decided to see what they were marketing to me, as a woman. Is it just going to be cutesy games like nintendogs or something?

The signs are not good. Is this going to be a ‘men play consoles women play handhelds’ stereotype or something? Lets scroll down…

Huh. Well Pokemon is the next big handheld release. So lets see what they’re marketing to men?

…the same thing…? 

literally the exact same thing.

They posted the same page twice, and just changed the pronouns in the captions.

Nintendo doesn’t care what gender you are.

They just really, really want you to buy Pokemon.

the signs as abandoned places

ARIES Abandoned gas stations, beholders of tumbleweeds and roadside tales, filled with dead fuel yet frozen in time, eyes on the passengers with their hands and hair out the window, haunted by old desert songs and engines revving behind it.

TAURUS: Abandoned bars, stools turned over, a ripped flyer shouting BABES BABES BABES hanging off the bulletin board, a lost motorcycle tire, glass shattered, and the spirit of hell still living somewhere inside.

GEMINI Ghost towns, at the base of old mountains, houses with shutters like eyes and doors like mouths, swallowing stories whole, convenience stores still stocked with stale bread, cabins and headstones still peeking out from behind fairy wood brambles, nature stretching into steel, ready to come alive with a shift of the wind.

CANCER: Abandoned motels, empty pools filled with deflated flamingos, the sign out front screaming VACANCY forever, each room a different anthology of guest book tales, smashed television monitors and a love note ( or goodbye note ) caught up in the rust of the honeymoon suite.

LEO: Abandoned theaters, stages dented with the ghosts of performances past, torn scripts scattered across floorboards in a mess of Playbills and shattered eyeglasses, broken lights and tattered dress hems, mannequins poised at an eternal act one.

VIRGO Abandoned train stations, cars sprayed in a kaleidoscope of graffiti, drifters still starting fires in some of the shells, grass growing over old gears, ghost conductors with no destination, rails intersecting at odd angles like flowers and bones.

LIBRA Abandoned campgrounds, rattlesnakes and desert blues, dead hot and forgotten, a shelled-out RV and the dry lake where the kids used to play, swallowing up broken toys and flat tents, showers crawling with critters, vintage t-shirts printed with campground bears promising that it’s still “the happiest place on earth.”

SCORPIO Abandoned amusement parks, soggy coaster cars paused mid-ascension, cheap thrills and screams still stagnant in the air, ferris wheels trembling in the wind, clown faces distorted and torn down the middle, a mascot head smiling out from the overgrowth.

SAGITTARIUS Abandoned renaissance fairs, an acre out of time, fake pirate ships swinging, fairy wings trying to fly, dead flower crowns tangled with bright ribbons and peasant blouses shed by the lake, empty squares and old stage buildings, Arthur’s sword caught at the entry, still waiting to be pulled.

CAPRICORN Abandoned toy stores, broken pinball machines, ghost clowns, and popped balloons, playing cards stuck to the floor, a crooked house of childhood horrors, teddy bears bleeding stuffing, and a funhouse mirror distorting the distorted. 

AQUARIUS: Abandoned piers, driftwood split down the middle, coastline the last alive thing, neon lights still calling Gatsby home from the horizon, but promising only the ghosts of mermaids washed ashore, tires and bottles filled with sand, dead trees spouting from old rocks, branches a wind chime of ripped dresses, forks, and seashells on strings.

PISCES: Abandoned waterparks, slides overlooking entire old cities, perfect for climbing, hoses and pools now scrawled over and used as skateboard ramps, kids climbing over the old towers and ladders in their bathing suits when it rains, pure want as their tickets in, yelling, “We’re still here, we’re still here, we’re still here!”

Seriously though, the number of grown adults who pitch a WHINY HISSY FIT when I tell them that they can’t take an animal home is astounding.

My favorite one from this holiday season was a man with a young girl (about 5 or 6 years old) and a teenage boy.  The man approaches me and, without me even asking what I can help them with, says:

Man: So we had a goldfish in a bowl and my son changed the food and it died!
Son: (clearly offended, yet texting) It wasn’t MY fault!
Me: Actually the reason it more than likely died is because goldfish REALLY shouldn’t be kept in bowls.
Man: Well it’s a big bowl, like this! (mimes about a gallon-sized bowl shape)
Me: Yeah, that’s actually pretty darn tiny.
Man: Well anyway, we want to get another one.
Girl: I want three!
Me: Unfortunately I can’t sell you a fish today– your setup really isn’t going to work for a goldfish.  You’re going to need at least 10 gallons for just ONE and even then you’re going to have to upgrade within a month or so.  Goldfish really aren’t a beginner fish…

As I say that I brace myself knowing what’s coming up.  Almost every time I refuse sale of a fish, I get the same reaction: outrage and demanding to talk to the manager, etc.

Man: Well I HAVE a tank.
Me: …I really don’t feel comfortable selling you the fish since I really feel like you’re not going to give it the proper care it needs for a long and healthy life.
Man: What?! I said I have a tank!  Why won’t you sell me the fish?!
Me: How big is the tank?
Man: 10 gallons!
Me: I still don’t feel comfortable selling you the fish.  I’m going to have to refuse the sale, I’m very sorry.
Man: What do you mean?!
Me: I’m not going to sell you fish today, I’m very sorry.
Man: I demand to talk to your manager!!!
Me: -points to nametag- Sir, I AM the manager.
Man: -takes a full pause, not expecting this-
Man: So you’re not going to sell me a fish, really?  These 15-cent fish that you feed to turtles, you’d sell it for that but not to me??
Me: If you had the setup for it, I would be more than happy to.
Man: I told you I have a tank!
Me: You told me you had your fish in a bowl.  I honestly believe you are just saying this to get the fish at this point, sir, I’m sorry.
Man: What do you I have to do, bring in a picture to prove I have it??
Me: -calling his bluff in a cheerful tone-  Absolutely!  I would love to see pictures of your tank and I would be more than happy to help you stock it after seeing your setup!
Man: (He takes another full pause) I’m going to call the company and COMPLAIN about you!  This is ridiculous, what’s the number to complain??
Me: I’m afraid I don’t know that off the top of my head sir.
Man: You don’t know the company number???
Me: No sir, but I believe it’s on our website.

While this was going on, the teenage boy was in the reptiles aisle texting and the girl was watching the turtles swim around in our tank nearby.  The man then grabs his daughter by the hand and does this in front of other customers:

Man: Let’s go– the lady’s not going to sell us fish.  She’s a MEAN LADY. (he’s staring directly at me as I stand there with no expression on my face)
Girl: Oh we’re not getting fish?  -not even upset-
Man: Yeah because she’s a MEAN LADY. (he says these words at a higher volume and with more emphasis)

He continues to repeat that phrase as he exits down the reptile aisle, making customers uncomfortable and I just shrug and go back to what I was doing before this scene.

An hour later I get a call from corporate.

NC: Hi, this is the national center, we just wanted to ask about the conditions surrounding a complaint we received about you.  A customer has complained that you wouldn’t sell him a fish even after stating he had the correct setup.  We just would like to hear your side of the story.
Me: (I tell him about the fact the guy had a goldfish in a bowl and then changed his story saying he had a tank and that I refused sale because I didn’t feel he was being honest or would care for the animal)
Me: And then he left the store, calling me a “mean lady” several times in a loud voice and said he would call you guys.
NC: Ok Christina, I just wanted to let you know that we agree with you 100% and that you did everything you were supposed to.  We wish you a very happy holiday season and I hope your shift goes well!
Me: Thank you!  You too!

I did a little happy dance and told the other manager on duty, who didn’t believe me when I said the company would have my back on the issue (he thought the company would bend over backwards for the guy and it would bite me in the butt)

BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER

The next day I come in for work at 2PM to find out from my general manager that the guy had called the store (after the nat center told him I was correct, mind you) to complain about me and saying that my behavior was “irresponsible” and that I was “unprofessional” and that I should be reprimanded or fired.

My general manager just said “Well I’m sorry to hear that sir but you see, she has NEVER gotten a complaint as long as she has worked for the company and the national center has already stated that she has done everything according to policy.  Sorry you feel that way, man, but there’s nothing I’m going to do against her in this situation.”

Made my week.

So, yeah, my company defended the life of a 15-cent “feeder” goldfish.

I’m pretty damn happy about that.

Writing Fake Tumblr Stories 101:

“I was just sitting around minding my own business when all of a sudden this [member of a group I don’t like] aggressively approached me and [did or said some wildly inappropriate thing that 90% of the population would never consider doing or saying]! Well, I looked them right in the eyes and said [something completely rehearsed sounding and unlikely to have just been come up with on the fly] and then the whole [train/restaurant/ theater/store] applauded.”

my favorite stock room in the whole store has a hidden entrance on the sales floor and it’s straight out of labyrinth

a closer look???

and BAM you can only see the entrance at a certain angle

here we have entered the labyrinth (as an aside: i really want to hang one of those halloween witch decorations in one of the alcoves in here during october just to scare people)

further into the labyrinth (this stock room runs almost the entire length of the store)

near the end, and just like the labyrinth there’s another “hidden” doorway to the right

here’s the doorway from the other side

leads into another room in the stock room

which leads to the exit on the other side

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Tedwards be shoppin'