a while ago actually but still

Bear with me, this is a slow burn but it’s worth it, I promise.

So this happened a while back (god, 6 years ago…ew) , and honestly I still find it funny to this day. Though at the time it’s was kinda revolationary for me.

So I was 18, working at a beachside DoubleTree in Florida. I was a Jack of all trades at this fucking place. Officially I was hired for breakfast buffet and food runner. It entailed making sure the buffet is full, breaking it down after breakfast ended, and then running food to the pool that had been ordered. What I actually did? Both of those jobs, room service, banquets (like weddings and other catering events) and bartending training.

I lived about 45 minutes away and had to be at work by 5:30am to prep breakfast so… That’s already fun. So I get through breakfast and go to the poolside bar so, I’ll call her Leslie, so Leslie can continue training be inbetween running food orders out. I like Leslie. She’s in her late 30s and kinda just tired with life in general and her dry sense of humour really showed it.

So this day, I’m running food, when the catering manager (a 45+ y/o man BTW) decided to follow me around while I work, just gossiping. I don’t mind so much, I don’t participate but if nothing else it can be entertaining. So he’s rambling and I’m nodding, and then something he says catches my attention.
He starts going off about how I should be careful cause Leslie is a lesbian and so she does all day is hit on girls and get drunk.

So, drinking on the job is like… Super against the rules and I know she doesn’t so, of course, I immediately go to her and tell her what he’s been saying since it can LITERALLY get her fired. And, like a reasonable adult, she goes to HR.

A few hours later here comes the catering manager and he looks PISSED,
Asks “did you go tell her what I said?”
to which I respond, “Um yes? She’s my trainer and also my work friend and what you said could get her fired.”
And his next words blew my fucking mind. He says to me “Did you seriously tattle on me?”
Like, no? This isn’t 3rd grade. Its just called reporting misconduct now. Like? I just remember thinking, where the fuck are all the adults I was promised, I’m surrounded by large children.
It was that day that I realized adults are totally faking it.

After that frustrating conversation he decides to drop on me that I’ll need to work late that night at a banquet, a wedding to be specific. (mind you, I got there at 5:30am and the wedding starts at 6pm… Yaaaay…) but I can’t refuse so when the time comes I go get changed and find him again to get the details for this banquet and, with just the most despicable grin, he informs me that he was short because people “called outĺ abs that I would be catering an entire 80 guest wedding BY MYSELF. I am rendered LITERALLY speechless as he walks away.

I’m terrified, I’d worked a few banquets before but never alone. I wasn’t even just worried about doing poorly, I also didn’t want to ruin a wedding just because I pissed off my fucking boss. With nerves up to my ears, I go out to greet the wedding party to be immensely surprised.

So here’s the satisfying part.

They were awesome. It was a really sweet black family, half of which (the grooms side) had literally flown from Jamaica to attend. They all were so kind and excited. It was really contagious. They even made me dance with them at one point. I had a blast.

The wedding lasted about 3 hours and when it was all said and done, both sets of parents tipped me under the table on top of my automatic gratuity. One gave me $200 and the other gave me $300 and a bunch of the guests gave me smaller tips anywhere from $5-$50.

Once everyone left and I’m done cleaning up my catering manager comes back, all smug, and asks me how everything went. My response?

I pull out my wad of cash and start counting it in my head and with a grin and say, “I think it went well. If you’re ever short again I’d be glad to cover.” The look on his face was worth every extra minute of work that day.

He may have made me work a 15hr work day, but after adding up the pay from my hours worked, tips at the bar, the bonus for working a banquet, the automatic gratuity, under the table tips, AND OVERTIME… I made over 1.5 thousand dollars that night.

Best. Workday. Ever.

my taxi driver a few days ago was a Syrian-British immigrant originally from Damascus and his fam is currently living under gov controlled areas. 

he was telling me though they don’t support the government and have never **liked** assad, they are religious minorities who would likely be killed or jailed by various members of the “opposition” should they ever leave–members of his fam had been abducted by unknown factions before and they still hadn’t heard from them and were presumed dead. 

but he was telling me that he couldn’t have these convos in canada without immediately being labeled an “assadist” or “pro-syria” lol even though he literally doesn’t like assad. he was telling me about his non-syrian roommate who was chiding him for not immediately supporting the opposition. 

it had already hit me while ago, but definitely in that moment, i realized how thoroughly we’ve taken this conversation away from Syrians. this guy, who doesn’t even support Assad, who is actually syrian, is being condemned by his non-syrian, never-even-been-to-syria canadian roommate for saying “the opposition will hurt my family” 

we need to seriously take a step back and accept we don’t know better than the actual Syrian community, no matter how many ABC News articles we read, and let them lead this conversation. 

*Inhale* OKAY, it took me like… an eternity to get that picture done but AH ! I did it ! It’s completed and I’m so proud about how it turned out ! So uhm… you guys requested for a UnderDecay print a while ago. I couldn’t exactly stream it because my internet is really slow lately and I’m kinda sick. BUT I managed to work on it little by little, one character at time and I can say that I actually ENJOYED to draw this… like… there’s so little details and the dynamic and composition were absolutely… gosh I cant even describe it.

I had FUN, especially since UD is my baby and I’ve been working hard on this AU for almost a year now. ANYWAY, I really hope that you enjoy it !

Okay… SO… I’m still without any form of income, so if you guys are interested to get that print shipped at your place you can order one over HERE. Any reblog would actually help me a lot… and gosh… thank you so much for every nice comment and the support that you guys give me. I deeply appreciate it.

Art and UnderDecay© @little-noko

Today I fucked up... by attempting to be a scientist

This actually happened a while ago, back when I was in middle school. So my friend and I were working on a lab with one of those bunsen burners, beakers, and strange white powders. I was partnered with a girl who I’m still really close to. We were working on a bunsen burner project at the time and had set our glass beaker too high above the flame. Another girl told us that we just needed to loosen the object that was holding the beaker so we could move it lower. Of course we didn’t know that we had to have a teacher help us. So we went right ahead and unscrewed it and the beaker fell and smashed to pieces. Humiliating. If that wasn’t bad enough, I was stirring a small formula with a glass stirring stick and I set it on the edge of the table (sad, I know) and it rolled off and smashed to the ground. I am a safety hazard to science labs.

The Way I See You

Genre: Oneshot. Fluff, getting together, friends to lovers, reality

Summary: Fiction. Dan’s shocked when he realises that Phil’s self-conscious about the way he looks. Apparently Phil doesn’t know that he isn’t allowed to be sad when Dan’s around. So Dan takes it upon himself to fix the situation - by complimenting something about Phil’s appearance every day. Trouble is, Dan isn’t very good at hiding his teensy tiny crush on Phil. (Originally written for the phanfic exchange from a prompt from comeonitsphan)

Warnings: Some swearing

Word Count: 11k

A/N: This is the fic I wrote for the phanfic exchange quite a while ago ^_^ It was a really fun experience! I wrote this before the tour happened, so the radio show was still going on. Enjoy the getting together phan schmoop <3

Edited by the lovely OvereducatedAndOverworked, thank you so much for doing this on such short notice! <3

AO3 Link


“I can’t believe you actually said that!”

Dan’s voice was indignant as they crashed through the door into their apartment. He shook his head, a fond smile playing at his lips as he turned to regard his best friend, close behind him as they made for the kitchen.

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6

squidmatsus! im definitely not the first one to do a splatoon and osomatsu crossover thing but i still wanted to get this out here
i just
really like both things lemme live

i started on these like 6 months ago and then ditched it but i got around to finishing it tonight. this isnt the best work i can do, but im glad to finally get this out and posted. i think i stopped working on it for so long because i was frustrated with the drawing method i had to stick with 

i know the gear doesnt really work out with some of their weapons and god knows how oso got to level 50…i kinda just went with whatever Looked Good

i have LOTS of headcanons and ideas but i doubt i can get it all drawn gggggh

also here are my old Concepts™  

anonymous asked:

Will Keith take Lance back to the rest of the team (ARE THEY STILL ALIVE?) or will Lance put up a fight? (Also jfc this is so amazing I absolutely love it)

OKAY SO the team is actually on the same planet as Keith and Lance are in that comic but they sent Keith to scout ahead while they greeted the king and then got caught up in a little congratulation ceremony (which is arranged as a suprise for the shallura wedding that happened not long ago lmao)

everyone is fine (older and wiser and scarred up but like everyone made it. Matt is even with them and chillin’) and it’s actually aFTER they’ve gone back to earth for a bit and established a connection so getting back to earth is way easier and faster)

Lance will STUBBORNLY deny any ties he has to voltron because that concept to him is absolutely RIDICULOUS 

(ever since he can remember) he’s been hearing stories about how voltron saved the universe it’s wild and he’s deF not one of those heroes c’mon now. ;)

But he will go back with Keith after some convincing. (he doesn’t believe him but I mean who’s gonna pass up a chance to meet the defenders of the universe???? nOT Lance.

8

Today on “Badly Timed Party Banter”….

I've been thinking...

I’ve been seeing a lot of ml/vld crossovers lately and its been reminding me a lot of an AU that I had been developing for a while, but ultimately stopped a few months ago.

It’s a Miraculous Ladybug inspired AU, however it’s a little different than ML. I’ve kinda set it on the backburner even though I surprisingly have a lot of the backstory in it fleshed out

Would anyone he interested in me posting about it?

Industrial Piercing.

I got mine done 6 weeks ago on Sunday so I thought I would throw some tips out there for people because I always see people asking in that tag.

1. Does it hurt to get done? No, not at all. I barely felt it, it felt a little tight while they put the bar in but the actual piercing was a 3 out of 10.

2. What’s the proper way to clean it? I soaked it for 10 minutes every day for the first 4 weeks. I never slacked once. Now i have purchased the h2Ocean spray. I use that all the time but I still soak it at least 2-3 times a week. Qtips are your friends. Also, do soak it. Please. The spray doesn’t always clean everything.

3. The worst time was about 2 weeks after. It got infected and throbbed for a day but I repeat, soaking clears it right up.

4. I did dye my hair for the first time last week. My stylist kept hitting it, that hurt. It’s fine but soak it after. I’ll keep telling you to soak it cause it works.

5. It hurts like a mother fucking bitch when you bang it. Six weeks later and it still hurts. Like holy fuck. I never remember it’s there until I stupidly tuck my hair behind my ear.

6. How long before you can sleep on your side? I started to now, six weeks later. I have a really soft pillow though and I think that’s key. The softer the better.

7. The bar slides. I panicked because it slid down and the piercer gave me a long bar to allow for swelling. Well I panicked because what if I hit it and it swells? There’s no room. Doesn’t matter, the minute it drops means it’s healing. I haven’t had issues with it touching my ear at all. Just SOAK IT IF IT GETS INFECTED.

8. Also tea tree oil works well to get rid of infections. I’ve only had to use it once. Don’t use it on a regular basis.

9. If you have always wondered about getting it done but are scared of taking care of it, just get it done. The cleaning isn’t so bad, trust me. You get used to it awful quick and it looks cute as fck.

If anyone else has any other questions just let me know.

*** I use a pretty simple soak mixture: 1 cup water and ¼ tsp non iodized salt (kosher works). I boil the water, add the salt, wait for it to cool, stir it up and soak it. I use a measuring cup and lay on the floor…. It’s worked the best for me with minimal spillage.
5

Hey so I know it’s a bit late to still be posting V’ day stuffs but I actually started this a while ago and thought, “Eh I could finish this to make amends for not posting any of the promised fanfictions today.” So there you have it.

Oh and the last pic was just so I could torture you all lol. It’s not even a direct part of the poem I edited, just to slowly kill me inside as the arc flashbacks flood in, disheveling my thoughts on a daily basis.

thank you so much for 200+1 followers! It makes me so happy to see people enjoying my art and at least feeling something from it.

2

No bother at all, Anon :)

The requests that I’ve been doing have been ones that I got a while ago and NOT new ones. I don’t take new ones when my requests/suggestions are CLOSED, I only work on the older ones. You are a very lucky exception. haha

I found this ice wool on a dead red alder recently! It might not look like much, but ice wool, aka hair ice or frost beard, is actually really unique and sort of rare to see. It only occurs when Exidiopis effusa fungus is found in the wood rays of dead wood, the temperature is below freezing and the air is still humid. The hairs can grow to be about 20 cm in length, and they’re super thin, between .01 and .03 mm thick! They grow so long and thin because of a natural antifreeze-like protein in the fungus that prevents the ice from recrystallizing. The BBC ran an article about ice wool a while ago, so I was super excited to find and recognize it!

2

Physically, UF Sans and Papyrus are about the same as their counterparts (Gaster’s drastically different looks are an anomaly), but while the ‘Fell’ timeline might not have changed their outward appearance much, it’s definitely affected them in other ways. Papyrus serves as Royal Warden while Sans the custodian spends his time mopping floors and trying to keep his brother’s hope up.

@asklordconquerer

THAT GIRL IS A REAL CROWD PLEASER

Can you do one where the reader is Negan’s 18 year old daughter and is in a relationship with Simon but Negan doesn’t know (smut if you can) :) then you come out and tell Negan and he’s cool w it somehow

Somehow, it went from coming out and telling Negan to a little extra but I hope you still enjoy! x x

**I cannot write smut to save my life so apologies in advance!


“Simon! You’re going to get us caught!” you exclaimed, as Simon wrapped his arms around your waist, placing soft kisses onto your neck.  Simon had a tendency to always sneak up on you, while doing your job of running the kitchens in the Sanctuary. You had been in a relationship with Simon for a while, actually since you turned 18 a few months ago. You had roughly worked out the time, and you had a small ‘party’ to celebrate even though there wasn’t much to celebrate.  You saw it as just another year of living in the perishing world. You had been friends with Simon before that, whenever he went with runs he would bring back anything you asked for, like books, DVD’s or clothes. You had once asked him to get more bra and panty sets, which was awkward but you couldn’t ask your dad to get them for you, it was uncomfortable enough asking Simon.  Ever since then, the atmosphere when you were around each other had changed dramatically. You occasionally flirted with each other, nothing more than a couple of flirtatious jokes and complements.  Finally, at the party Simon had come up to you and you both had told each other you liked them. You were only worried about your dad finding out, sure he was basically Negan’s right hand man but that could quickly change if he knew what you and Simon got up to.

You couldn’t deny it turned you on, the chance of being caught with Simon. The consequence would probably be tragic, but it was still really hot.  Hiding a relationship around a camp was tough, as everyone was ‘Negan’ and anyone would jump at the chance of telling Negan about his daughter’s relationship to gain trust or extra points for their loyalty. You couldn’t help it though; you weren’t going to wait around in the apocalypse for some prince charming to waltz into your life, saving you from the destruction of the world.

“Come on baby, I haven’t seen you in ages.” He moaned, tightening his grip around your waist. You rolled your eyes, turning to look at him over your shoulder.  “You saw me a few nights ago!  We have to be careful; I think Dwight’s catching on to us.” He knew it was true; Dwight had caught you and Simon pretty close a few times.  He had found you laughing together, which wasn’t too bad but when he had caught you flirting very heavily, it became a problem. You didn’t know if he had mentioned it to your dad, you were hoping he hadn’t.

“Who cares babe, Negan ain’t going to believe him over me. I’m the top guy.” He laughed, returning to kiss your neck. 

‘Oh, what the hell. Have a little fun and let loose, jesus.’

“Fine, let me just leave a note for the other workers, I’ll meet you up there.” You told him, writing a note for whoever was in the kitchens next. You had put your absence down to sickness, saying you were going to rest up before the night shift. You rushed from the kitchens, up to Simon’s room.  Being the highest in Negan’s ranks, he had a good room with a kitchen, en-suite bathroom and large bedroom. Some nights, if you were too tired, you would sleep in his room leaving in the early hours of the morning.

You ran in the room to find Simon shirtless, going to undo his belt. “Let me get that for you baby.” You got on your knees, unbuckling his belt and sliding it out of the holder. You yanked the zip of his jeans down, pulling them down along with his boxer shorts. Licking a stripe on the underside of his erect cock, a hand going into your long hair, gripping and guiding you. Your mouth closed around his tip, a hand going to work the base.  “Fuck baby.” Simon moaned out, you stood up pushing him on to the bed.  You pulled the covers over you, leaning down to meet your lips with Simon’s.  “Do you want me to ride you baby?” you whispered into his ear, as he grabbed your hips.  His fingertips dug into your hipbones pulling your body against his, biting at your neck as you sat on his dick. You moaned out starting to roll your hips against his, his hands trailing under your shirt to your breasts.


 Negan came into the main building, looking towards the kitchens looking for his daughter Y/N. His eyebrows raised as he spoke to one of the workers. “Where is my daughter?” he asked the younger man, who was trembling. “We don’t know sir, she left this note saying she was ill but we went to check on her and she wasn’t in her room.” Negan turned, walking towards the doors to the bedrooms.  He figured he could get Simon and they could go and look for her, he knew they were close. He had been worried about it before, but he figured that they were both smart enough to know what would happen if anything became sexual.  He went to knock on the door, before deciding against it when he heard a moan coming from the other side. He chuckled to himself, finally Simon was getting laid. It had been months since Negan had seen him with any woman; thank god he got out of his little funk and had found someone to bone.

He opened the door with a large slam, walking to the next door to the bedroom. He opened the door a little, seeing the back of a young Y/H/C girl riding Simon with the silk sheet wrapped around her back. “Oh my god Simon, harder!” his vision turned red, immediately recognizing the voice.


“What the fuck!?” you heard someone yell from behind you. You screamed, jumping off Simon turning around to see your dad. Your eyes widened, ‘shit’ you thought, you were both in the shit now. Your dad stood there, Lucille hanging at the side of him. You could see his gloved hand tightening around the base of the bat, Simon gathering the sheets to hide himself and cover you. “Dad, I can explain?” you sort of asked, seeing he was getting angry. “What the fuck is there to explain Y/N? I can see it clear as fucking day; it’s a damn shame really. I really did like you Simon.” You groaned, wrapping the sheets around your lower half, standing up off the bed. “Look dad. I was going to tell you before, but I’ve been with Simon for a few months, this isn’t just a one-time thing.” You explained, realizing your mistake as soon as it came out. “It isn’t a one-time thing, well goddamn Simon! How many times have you got your dick wet in my daughter?” he shouted, walking closer to Simon.  You grabbed your dads arm, pulling him back from Simon.

“Dad! Stop it, I love him!” your dad turned around to look at you. “You don’t know shit about love Y/N, your goddamn fucking eighteen!” You began to cry a little, sick of him still treating you as a child. “I do dad! I’m not a fucking kid anymore! Yes, I will always be your little girl but you have to treat me as an adult! I love Simon, he treats me like a queen and we’ve been together for a while now! And if you want to forbid me from seeing him, go ahead but it will just prove my point!” Negan sighed, placing a hand under your chin, making you look at him.  He pulled you into a hug, kissing your head. “I love you Y/N. But you are right; you’re old enough to make your own decisions.” He turned back around to Simon, raising Lucille in front of his face. “You dare even wrong my daughter in any way and your fucking brains will be hanging off Lucille, do I make myself clear?” Simon raised his hands in surrender. “Crystal, Negan.” He nodded, walking out of the room.

You let out a deep breath, “Well, it could have been worse.”

just want everyone to know that if you’re a bitter ryan stan who hates brendon, please do me the biggest honor of unfollowing me

Under the Table

Genre: NSFW
Words: 1,269

           "So, Timothy, tell me,“ a woman with long fingernails gestures her cup towards Tim. "How did you two meet?”

           Tim chuckles, “It’s a funny story actually..” Tim keeps up a conversation with the woman and the two other couples seated at your table while you struggle against your predicament under the table: Tim’s hand is spreading your legs open.

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