a walk to golgotha

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i put on a tie and suit and brush my unruly hair and show up to dinner, the walk downstairs is pain and like climbing up to calvary – everything’s a golgotha – day of judgement was yesterday, today’s purgatory blues as everyone pretends not to notice or maybe i’m just that good at hiding it now – “it’s a good thing you’re okay” and i nod, smiling. it’s all a big bad play, anyway.

stucky fic rec..

ok so this is just…. like a bunch of my fave fics (not all!! i have so many..) and i decided to compile them into a list bc ive realized no one will ever ASK for a fic rec bc i never talk about them LMAO. anyways, every fic will be AO3, and the author is listed as well. it’ll probably be around 10-20 in total.

💫 = ultimate faves

ok so.. here goes nothing 

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The affirmation of Holy Saturday is that God is dead. The figure of Jesus here, for Balthasar, is “[he] who walks along paths that are no paths, leaving no trace behind, through hell, hell which has no exit, no time, no being.” The question of Holy Saturday is tied up in an understanding of the relationship between death and life. What does life mean in the moments when one leaves Golgotha, walks home, and crawls around and cannot see her way forward? Meaning is dead. Hope is dead. Love is dead. Death is final. It is not experienced as some segue into life or as a temporary pause in a master plan. The mystery of Holy Saturday is the emergence of a form of life from death. Holy Saturday has something to do with the confrontation with this radical ending and what remains in its wake. There is no apparent sign of breath or life. But in the middle, this release of breath is witnessed. It is carried on the breath and in the bodies of those who move in the aftermath of death.

In many Christian traditions, the movement from passion to resurrection, enacted liturgically, is seamless. Death is behind, life is ahead. Cornel West reveals the problematic dimensions of this approach. “American Christianity’s a market form of Christianity, for the most part. It’s all about identifying with a winner. That’s why Easter Sunday the churches are full, but Good Friday they’re empty. I’ll show up when the winner shows up. But don’t tell me about the main protagonist being treated like a political prisoner by the Roman Empire. Don’t tell me about a senseless death based on injustice. And certainly don’t tell me about the Saturday in which, echoing Nietzsche, God is dead, even for Christians. [We] cannot embrace Easter too quickly.” Smoothing over Saturday is tied to larger smoothing over of oppression, violence, and the injustices of history. Implicit in his reference to Saturday is the refusal to forget, the intentional remembering of the past. Holy Saturday thus brings he past to light, but it does so in a way that is not debilitating. It provides a way of being oriented to the past, holding it in such a way that it is recognized and yet, in that holding, transformed.
—  Shelly Rambo, Spirit and Trauma, pg 73, 120, 129n29, par.
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Here’s our single “How I Really Feel”. This song has meant so much to me. I had an idea of everything I was going to say about it and the person it was about, but then I figured I’ll just let the music speak for itself.

she said it’s just too hard though
i said dont go
i’ll eat you up
i love you so

the reality is
(the reality is)
you’ll never mean anything to me
(you mean everything to me)
a thousand miles away
that’s where stay
(just say you’ll stay)
i promise on my life
(believe me when i say i feel you too)
you’ll never mean anything to me
the time lost
spent in my heart
is bound to start a fire
(only fuels your fire)

believe me when i say i feel you too
it’s just that everything beautiful reminds me of you
a thousand miles away
not sure how long i’ll stay
i made a bed in the ocean where we can lay
i knew from the very first time
can you handle a heart as big as mine? 
i’ll only be gone, not dead
for the rest of my life 
you’ve made home in the back of my head

the reality is
(the reality is)
you’ll never mean anything to me
(you mean nothing to me)
a thousand miles away
that’s where stay
(that’s where you’ll stay)
i promise on my life
(believe me when i say i regret you too)
you’re still nothing to me
the time lost
spent in my thoughts
only fuels your fire

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A Walk to Golgotha- Din’s Fire (2012 Single)