a walk to golgotha

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Here’s our single “How I Really Feel”. This song has meant so much to me. I had an idea of everything I was going to say about it and the person it was about, but then I figured I’ll just let the music speak for itself.

she said it’s just too hard though
i said dont go
i’ll eat you up
i love you so

the reality is
(the reality is)
you’ll never mean anything to me
(you mean everything to me)
a thousand miles away
that’s where stay
(just say you’ll stay)
i promise on my life
(believe me when i say i feel you too)
you’ll never mean anything to me
the time lost
spent in my heart
is bound to start a fire
(only fuels your fire)

believe me when i say i feel you too
it’s just that everything beautiful reminds me of you
a thousand miles away
not sure how long i’ll stay
i made a bed in the ocean where we can lay
i knew from the very first time
can you handle a heart as big as mine? 
i’ll only be gone, not dead
for the rest of my life 
you’ve made home in the back of my head

the reality is
(the reality is)
you’ll never mean anything to me
(you mean nothing to me)
a thousand miles away
that’s where stay
(that’s where you’ll stay)
i promise on my life
(believe me when i say i regret you too)
you’re still nothing to me
the time lost
spent in my thoughts
only fuels your fire

External image

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A Walk to Golgotha- Din’s Fire (2012 Single)

The affirmation of Holy Saturday is that God is dead. The figure of Jesus here, for Balthasar, is “[he] who walks along paths that are no paths, leaving no trace behind, through hell, hell which has no exit, no time, no being.” The question of Holy Saturday is tied up in an understanding of the relationship between death and life. What does life mean in the moments when one leaves Golgotha, walks home, and crawls around and cannot see her way forward? Meaning is dead. Hope is dead. Love is dead. Death is final. It is not experienced as some segue into life or as a temporary pause in a master plan. The mystery of Holy Saturday is the emergence of a form of life from death. Holy Saturday has something to do with the confrontation with this radical ending and what remains in its wake. There is no apparent sign of breath or life. But in the middle, this release of breath is witnessed. It is carried on the breath and in the bodies of those who move in the aftermath of death.

In many Christian traditions, the movement from passion to resurrection, enacted liturgically, is seamless. Death is behind, life is ahead. Cornel West reveals the problematic dimensions of this approach. “American Christianity’s a market form of Christianity, for the most part. It’s all about identifying with a winner. That’s why Easter Sunday the churches are full, but Good Friday they’re empty. I’ll show up when the winner shows up. But don’t tell me about the main protagonist being treated like a political prisoner by the Roman Empire. Don’t tell me about a senseless death based on injustice. And certainly don’t tell me about the Saturday in which, echoing Nietzsche, God is dead, even for Christians. [We] cannot embrace Easter too quickly.” Smoothing over Saturday is tied to larger smoothing over of oppression, violence, and the injustices of history. Implicit in his reference to Saturday is the refusal to forget, the intentional remembering of the past. Holy Saturday thus brings he past to light, but it does so in a way that is not debilitating. It provides a way of being oriented to the past, holding it in such a way that it is recognized and yet, in that holding, transformed.
—  Shelly Rambo, Spirit and Trauma, pg 73, 120, 129n29, par.

I took my time tracing my name on her spine. She moved things too fast Just to hear my bones crack.She ran and left my face covered in dust. Now I know why I never understood a difference between true love and lust. What’s the point of living if it’s with someone other than you? You’ll say you love me but we both know that’s no longer true. Tear my heart into a pile. Blame it on the miles. Don’t forget to cover it up with that pretty smile. You’re still on my mind, but my names still on your spine.

dont blink 

dont blink

I’ll be gone before you know it

One week is all I’d need to forget your name

you wouldn’t even have to question if I still feel the same

I’m just tired of running around in circles

There’s a crow above our heads that;s signaling for me to go

But I’d rather be dead than fall asleep with anyone else in my bed

There’s a crow above our heads that’s signaling for me to go

But I always said I’d fight for her forever even though she sleeps without a stir

dont blink 

dont blink

I’ll be gone before you know it

One week is all I’d need to forget your name

you wouldn’t even have to question if I still feel the same

I’m just tired of running around in circles

beg me not to leave because that’s all I really need

Say you’re down and I’ll leave this town

There’s a crow above our heads that’s signaling for me to go

I won’t close the door because I haven’t even scratched the surface on what my heart has in store

dont blink 

dont blink

I’ll be gone before you know it

One week is all I’d need to forget your name

you wouldn’t even have to question if I still feel the same

I’m just tired of running around in circles

I’ve found a way for us to be together that’s not that hard. I’ll keep it with the rest of my secrets between the leaves and stars.

someone give me feedback i’ll love you forevs

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