a tree of one's own

i want to tell you a story. it’s a story about a 17 year old boy from columbus ohio, with a rubber band on his wrist and bad thoughts in his head who writes about trees and saying hello. it’s a story about a 20 year old boy from ohio who makes this musical group, and starts to need his rubber band less, and puts his words in to music. it’s a story about a 22 year old boy from ohio, whose life isn’t going quite the way he thought it would but he’s made a new friend, a new brother, and this new friend is helping him project the words he once feared to say, louder and further than he ever thought possible. it’s a story about a 24 year old boy from ohio who has stopped wearing his rubber band completely, and who is singing the world his darkest thoughts, at first afraid of rejection, but growing confidence as he hears the world sing back. it’s a story about a 27 year old boy from ohio, with tattoos lining his wrist where a rubber band once was, who stands in one of the biggest venues in america and sings to nearly 30,000 people about trees and saying hello. 

i want to tell you a story. it’s a story about a boy who made it. and i want you to know that you can make it too. you are not a sad story. you are not hopeless. you will sing about your own trees one day.

The Letter

‘If your reading this I must be dead.
Sounds so real when I actually write it like that, it’s a possibility after all. I mean this is a war. People die all the time and I guess it was my time and I’m gone.
If I’m not and you guys find this then stop reading.
There’s some things that are just rude and you should know not to go through people’s stuff.
I’m talking about you Pidge.
So if your still reading this…
I’m dead or your an ass hole (Keith).
So let’s start I guess.
I lance McLain being of sound mind and body write my last will and testament.

To Hunk. What could I possibly leave you that could even come close to repaying all you’ve done for me over the years? For all those times you talked me down at the Garrison and made sure I didn’t spend too much time alone with only my thoughts. I love buddy so I leave you my family. If I’m gone I need them to know what happened. I need them to know I did something with my life, that I made a difference.
To Pidge you little gremlin, I leave you the tree house I built in my backyard. I know you pretend to hate outdoors, but I’ve seen how you love to watch the trees, figured you’d appreciate getting one of your own and being able to connect to the wifi.
To Shiro. You were my hero, when I wanted to apply to Garrison everyone told me I couldn’t do it. That I was too stupid or too much of a screw up to make anything of myself. Watching you on the news actually go against the odds and become the youngest graduate ever… well it kept the dream alive and got me through some pretty dark times. To you I leave my sketch book. It’s filled with drawings of earth. Drawing really helped ground me when I felt too anxious to sleep, I’m sure you know what that’s like. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that actually hears you wandering the halls late at night. I hope that drawing can help you as much as it did me.
To Allura… look I know I flirted with you a lot, I’m sorry for that… I know I must sounded like such an idiot and a creep. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better paladin or friend. I leave you all my beauty products. That may sound like I only value your looks but I respect you so much for all you’ve done trying to fight this war with only the six of us as back up. I guess I’m trying to ask you to have a treat now and again, take as good a care of yourself as you do with us .
To Coran, your probably one of the biggest reasons I didn’t end up wallowing in self pity the whole time I was here. I don’t really remember my dad. He left when I was too young to remember him. But the time I spent with you made me feel like I knew what a dad was and I love you for that. I leave you the box under my bed. I filled it with memorabilia from all the good times we all spent together. Please keep adding to it and keep having good times without me.
Finally to Keith. Bet you thought I’d forgotten about you, hey Mullet? I’m not really sure what to write. We’ve been through so much together that I just don’t have the words to tell you how I feel. I just wish I had the courage to tell you that I really care about you while I was still around. Tell you that I love you. Wow that was scary to write. But getting it out and knowing that some point in the future you’ll know this is oddly liberating, like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. So yeah Mullet I love you. I love you so much that it hurts knowing that no matter what I do, I’ll never be good enough for you. You deserve the best, you deserve the universe… because that’s what you are to me. To you I leave you the most important thing to me. Blue. I love her dearly and I know she’s gonna be sad without me, so please keep her company. She likes songs from Mama Mia and having her claws painted, I know you know will get on great.
Wow I didn’t expect to start crying while I wrote this. Putting it all in words is hard. It’s beyond hard knowing that there’s a possibility that one day I’ll be gone and you’ll just move on. That someone else will pilot Blue and take over as a paladin for me.
I just wish that our time together would never end and I would never have to say goodbye to any of you.
But despite what you guys think, I’m not an idiot. I know I’m the weakest link and that if anyone’s gonna end up dying in the line the duty it will probably end up being me.
I suppose that doesn’t matter anymore.
What matters is that you all know that your like a second family to me and that I love you all so, so much.
Goodbye.
-Lance xxx’

—————————————-

Lance put down the pen wiping his teary eyes as he read through what he had written. He had just gotten out of the healing pod after being shot in the chest by a Glara guard during a mission gone bad.
Coming that close to death made him realise that he didn’t want to just go without knowing the people he loved knew how much he cared about.

There was a soft knocking at the door “hey Lance dinners ready” Hunk called.
“Be there in a minuet.” Lance replied folding the page and hiding the letter under his bed resting on top of his memory box. He opened the door and smiled at Hunk who took in his puffy red eyes and didn’t hesitate to give the smaller paladin a hug. “Homesick bud?”
Lance chuckled glancing back at the letter “yeah… something like that.”

I keep forgetting to post this, but I watched Voltron Legendary Defender a while ago and decided I had to draw my fave.

I spent more time drawing this than watching the show @w@.
A whopping 21 hours…definitely up there for longest personal drawing times.
Krita even threatened to crash on me more than once. ;w;

Sometimes in late summer I won’t touch anything, not
the flowers, not the blackberries
brimming in the thickets; I won’t drink
from the pond; I won’t name the birds or the trees;
I won’t whisper my own name.

One morning
the fox came down the hill, glittering and confident,
and didn’t see me—and I thought:

so this is the world.
I’m not in it.
It is beautiful.
—  Mary Oliver, October (excerpt)

anonymous asked:

What do you think is the best way to contact a spirit for a beginner spirit worker? Thanks you :)

hi anon!

this is a great question that can vary in answer depending on who you’re asking. for some people who started and stuck exclusively with spirit shops and conjurers, they may recommend exactly that! for others who meet spirits without the aid of shops, they may recommend conjuring yourself, or even taking a look around your house or neighborhood. spirits exist everywhere and are all around us, so the options are endless.

first off: protections

for a beginner, i first want to recommend knowing how to protect yourself. before you even begin meeting spirits or contacting them, ensure you know how to ward yourself and your room and/or personal space. in ideal situations i would recommend also warding your entire house, if possible, but i know that can be a bit difficult, especially if you use tools to help ward and you live with people who may not know you’re a spirit worker. i experience that particular problem myself, so i can relate. protections at the very least will ensure that if something goes wrong, you will remain safe. 

now, on to the fun part: meeting a spirit!

spirits are easier to find than you think

something i didn’t realize when beginning spirit work is that spirits are all around us, all the time. that tree in your backyard? it most likely has a spirit. those crossroads where those two streets intersect by your house? spirits probably pass through there. that lake you might walk by once in a while? there are likely spirits that call that lake home. live in more of an urban environment? no worries- spirits live there too. spirits call many places home, and once you come to terms with this reality, everything will change for you, both in positive and negative ways. remember: spirit work is dangerous. but you know what else is dangerous? driving and swimming- two things that a lot of people do on a near daily basis. just as you learn the right precautions you need to take before you get behind the wheel or enter the water, you do the same before you get involved with spirits. but once you’re able to drive, or swim, or interact with spirits, and you do so safely, you will be opening yourself up to a world of opportunities and wonderful experiences, as well as danger. regardless of the outcomes, though, driving, swimming, and spirit work are all learning experiences. it’s appreciating your newfound experiences and everything that comes along with it, positive and negative, that’s key to making spirit work a really wonderful thing.

now, i often times see beginners discuss how they conjure spirits to meet them. while that practice is completely valid, i would not recommend it for a beginner for one simple reason: why put in all of that work when you have spirits around you already? i dunno about you, but i love being lazy. if there’s a short but efficient route i can take, i’ll take it, and reaching out to spirits that already exist around you is exactly that: short, sweet, and efficient. use the resources already at your disposal!

and so ultimately, my recommendation for a beginner spirit worker who wants to contact a spirit is to use proper protections, discernment, respect, and caution to introduce yourself to a spirit who already lives close by. now, if you’re asking yourself, “but what if i can’t feel spirits yet? how do i find one if i can’t sense them?”, then you’ll need to back up a tiny bit, but only for a moment. 

recognizing what’s familiar so we can recognize what’s unfamiliar

i mentioned before that trees contain spirits. trees are old, hulking giants that have seen so many things. if possible, find a tree that you can sit under for a few hours, and make sure you bring a laptop or a notebook and pen. whether a spirit worker or not, lounging under trees is a common thing done by many people, and so you likely won’t be infringing on what the tree spirit considers its space, as it’s already something so frequently shared.

while there, relax and focus. it may take you a bit to find that sweet spot between comfortable and attentive, but take your time, be patient, and you’ll get there. while focusing (or meditating, if you’d like to slip into a deeper state of consciousness), sense what you feel around you. is there a breeze? how are you breathing? are you hungry? do you hear people talking? are there cars driving by? focus on each external force that is acting in and around you. once you recognize each one of these distractions, mentally label it, and then let it go. visualization here can help. for me, i mentally picture myself writing “cars”, “talking”, or “stomach growling” on a little paper boat and sending it down a river. be creative, and imagine yourself acknowledging and then removing each one of these external forces acting around you. 

these things will continue to happen around you, of course, but by acknowledging these distractions and then letting them go, you will begin to feel the silence underneath everything. it is in this silence we are able to sense spirits. often times people try to forcibly tune out the things happening around them in order to concentrate, but in doing so, they instead wind up harping on these things, stunting their ability to concentrate. but, if you recognize each potential distraction and then let it slip away from your attention, you will feel less inclined to focus on it. in doing this, we get one step closer to putting all of our attention on sensing spirits. 

as we understand and recognize the energies and distractions that come from the mundane world around us, including the energies and distractions that come from ourselves, we will begin to pick up on energies we are unfamiliar with. often times, these unfamiliar energies are spirits whose vibrations and energies we have tapped into after we recognize, understand, and discard the familiar energies around us. 

starting small (or large): listening to trees

as your focus turns its back on those distractions, you are able to place your attention elsewhere- in this case, on spirits. as you sit under that tree, begin to focus on what energies the tree is giving off. do you see colors? do you hear the impressions of a voice? or maybe you are experiencing feelings that you know are not your own because, as stated above, you recognized how you are feeling and know what to expect from yourself. any energies, feelings, colors, sounds, etc, that you experience while focusing on that tree can be the tree’s spirit communicating with you, with other trees around it, or with itself. but regardless who that info is meant to be going to, it is still information coming from the tree’s spirit. if possible, write down any and all sensations and experiences you receive from that tree. then, using proper discernment in the form of meditation or divination tools, for example, reflect back on what you experienced. then, repeat this process. go back to the tree some time later, focus on it, and see what information you receive then. crosscheck your experiences with your previous ones, and even do a little research. what else do other people experience when they hang out with a tree spirit? 

from there, as you get more and more comfortable with the methods you use to pick up on this tree spirit, move onto different spirits. as you practice, you may not need to sit down and meditate to find a spirit. over time, you may be able to pick up on those unfamiliar energies while you’re out and about, and in doing so, you may find a spirit that lives in a store you frequently go to, for example, without having to sit down and meditate on it.

if my tree method does not work for you because of your living environment, don’t worry. are there flowers outside? can you afford a potted plant, maybe? do you live by a beach? do you own crystals? all of these things, and all of these locations will contain spirits that may be willing to share info with you. the reason i recommend starting with a tree or other plants is because they tend to be easy to work with, and often times far less malicious than other spirits you may come across. but don’t be fooled! plant and tree spirits have their own personalities. you may find one that’s a bit snippy or grumpy. don’t always expect that a little flower will be kind! 

now, that is just one recommendation i can give, which i personally find is the best one. but! other people will likely give you very different answers! 

what about spirit shops? 

do you feel comfortable purchasing from a conjurer? then maybe you can try out a spirit shop. if you find a shop, i highly recommend reading reviews and see how the shop treat their spirits. do they create listings that read like items that are being sold? or do their listings read like profiles for living entities who are autonomous and have their own wants/needs/desires, and are fully in control of the companion they will be going home to? as well, see if you can find how much experience the shop owners/conjurers have. in my experience, all reputable shops should have a detailed “about” page that explains the full extent of that shop owners experience. and finally, trust your gut. how you feel when looking through someone’s shop is key to determining if you’d like to work with them. you’ll be contacting and bringing home a friend who should 1) want to be in that shop and 2) want to go with you. in my opinion, if you sense any red flags, then stay the hell away. 

what about conjuring?

and lastly, there’s the conjuring option. this i just… don’t recommend, personally. spirit work is risky in every way, shape, and form, but when you conjure, you have no idea who will show up, especially if you’re a beginner. 

in conclusion… 

the choice is up to you. how do you feel you’d best experience spirit work as a beginner? do you feel safe going outside and trying to commune with a spirit? would you rather have someone from a shop pair you up with a spirit? or maybe you think you’ll have a knack for conjuring! ultimately the decision is yours. i do hope i was able to provide some info to help guide you along the way, though!

well anon, i wish the best of luck to you! if you have any questions or comments for me, please feel free to drop by!

~Hamilton Fanfic Prompts~

Okay, so I’m going to take requests for the hamilsquad(and TJEFF’s group) and the hamilcast. I’m going to put a list of prompts/ideas. If you want a certain prompt/idea for a certain person comment the number with the person’s name. Also, there will most likely be cussing. Just saying.

I will mark the ones that have been done, but feel free to request them again!

1. “You have got to be shitting me.”
2. “Why did you have to be a smart person?!”
3. “Why in the hell are you drinking at this hour?!”
4. “Awesome……Wow……..”
5. “Take a break dammit!”
6. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
7. “Why are you being so nice to someone like me?”
8. “Dueling is stupid.”
9. “Does Jefferson know?”
10. “Damn, I’d tap that!”
11. “Why is school so boring?”
12. “Je t'aime….”
13. “How did you manage to be this stupid?”
14. “Your hair is so soft!”
15. “Is that even a sport?”
16. “What are you writing about?”
17. “Why do you always stay up so late?”
18. “That’s a stupid rule.”
19. “How are you so pretty?”
20. “What the in the hell are you wearing?!”
21. “How long are we going to be here?”
22. “This is why I love you.”
23. “Stop running so fast!”
24. “Can we keep it?”
25. “Why is that ‘thing’ in my room?”
26. “You are so adorable!”
27. “I’m dying of blood loss…”
28. “We can’t tell my brother!”
29. “It’s not on the lines!”
30. Why do you always have to gang up on me?“
31. "How is your hair better than mine?”
32. “You wanna go!?”
33. “What are you even saying?”
34. “Do that again.”
35. “Hold me back!”
36. “How are you so tall?”
37. “Sharpen my pencil!”
38. “Why are you so serious all the time?”
39. “Nothing’s more contagious than laughter!”
40. “Fuck, these are my only clothes!”
41. “Are those my clothes?”
42. “Don’t touch that!”
43. “Not in that drawer!”
44. “We ate that yesterday!”
45. “My life is ruined…”
46. “Kill me now.”
47. “Don’t just stand there!”
48. “Help me up asshole!”
49. “Just kiss me already!”
50. “I didn’t want you to say goodbye.”
51. “I’ll show you…”
52. “Can you even talk? You’re always so quiet.”
53. “Who are you?”
54. “I’ll show you where my shoe fits!”
55. “Don’t tell me to shut up!”
56. “Don’t you dare touch me!”
57. “I can’t see anything…”
58. “What do you mean you’re from the 19th century?”
59. “I can’t believe I did that…”
60. “Could you kindly get the fuck away from me for a moment?”
61. “What in the hell did you write that for?”
62. “Can you not touch me there please?”
63. “Women have rights too!”
64. “I’m a dead girl walking!”
65. “This is seriously the best play I’ve ever seen!”
66. “Don’t you know how to clean?”
67. “What’s an anime?”
68. “There is so much to teach you.”
69. “Why so flirty all of a sudden?”
70. “Why that song and why right now?”
71. “What kind of snack is that?
72. "Put a shirt on!”
73. “I would bear your children if only you’d let me!”
74. “Are you gonna help me with this or what?”
75. “Pick up all this garbage!”
76. “Is that the best you can do?”
77. “Why are you not wearing any pants!?”
78. “Can you please shut the hell up?!”
79. “We always eat that!”
80. “Happy birthday! Wait it was last week? Happy late birthday!”
81. “Now is the time to stand!”
82. “Why are we debating about this when I’m obviously right?”

83. “There’s basically nothing in the fridge…”
84. “You’re nothing without ____ behind you…”
85. “I’m cracking under all this stress!”
86. “_____, my first friend. My Enemy.”
87. “What is that red stuff on your hands?”
88. “The emperor has no clothes…”
89. “I want to give you a word of warning.”
90. “I don’t know what you heard, but whatever it is ___ started it!”

91. “You can finally speak your mind!”
92. “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-OKAY that’s it!”
93. “Everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree.”
94. “One last time…”
95. “I may have committed many errors…”
96. “The ever-favorite object of my heart.”
97. “I’m going home!”
98. “Say goodbye…”
99. “What the hell does P.F.U.D.O.R. stand for?”
100. “He’s just a friend!”
101. “I wasn’t aware that was something a person could do…”
102. “I know him!”
103. “They all look small…”
104. “President ____. Yeah right, like that will happen!”
105. “What is this?!”
106. “You don’t even know what you’re asking me to confess!”
107. “Unless……”
108. “Um…..Yes?”
109. “At least my papers are orderly!”
110. “Rumors only grow…”
111. “Why is it so quiet?”
112. “I wrote ____ love letters until they fell.”
113. “I can’t seem to die.”
114. “Wait for it!”
115. “That’s one less thing to worry about!”
116. “I’m not here for you!”
117. “God, I hope you’re satisfied!”
118. “Have you read this?”
119. “Be careful with that one love…”
120. “You brought this girl into our bed!”
121. “You’ll catch flies.”
122. “Leave me alone!”
123. “Go away!”
124. “Excuse me!”
125. “Service the customers!”
126. “I’m about to pee on myself! Stop!”
127. “What in the heck kinda app is that?!”
128. “Is that velvet?”
129. “Does your hair smell good?”
130. “Just blowing off some steam.”
131. “I touched the butt…”
132. “What the hell is a weenis?!”
133. “I’m ready, let’s go!”
134. “There’s too much snow!”
135. “Let’s build a lego house!”

You can also give me your own prompt as long as it’s only a one sentence prompt. Please request I’m really bad at coming up with ideas!

#261: You Hate Each Other | High School AU

A/N:

I know it might be weird considering the boys are college ages now and high school AU’s are pretty much dying but i still adore them very much and I’ve always wanted to write something alone the lines of this. Rivals were something I also had in high school and let’s be honest nothing is better than haters turning into lovers.

Read When We Collide here //  Find my Masterlist here   

Luke:

”When you think nothing can be worse than history classes.” You mumbled under your breath and tried to breathe, your heart racing and in fast pace and your head spinning. You could feel your legs were to the point of turning into jelly but you seemed like the only person to have such struggles. Everyone around you didn’t seem to struggle the least bit, they were all running together two and two trying to get to the finish line as the first. It was an usual P.E class, aka morning hell and why not start it out the worst way by running? You hated it more than life, getting sweaty and having to use your body in ways it was never used to. “Look at you sunshine.” You rolled your eyes and tried to run faster when Luke suddenly showed up from your behind, the expression on his face showing nothing else but surplus. “Go away Luke.” You breathed and tried to move between a few others to get away from him but with his long legs and pretty good fitness he was quick to run beside you again. “Why? it’s not a well morning if I haven’t annoyed out your ass.” He commented with a smirk, “You know, some needs coffee other needs a cigarette. I have my own ways.” “Well your ways suck.” You spat, you were pretty amazed how you hadn’t stopped running yet you almost couldn’t breath. He looked at you with a challenged look and with one push you were out of the running lane and heading towards the trees that formed a small forest. You were out of breath and felt his hands on your shoulders keeping on pushing, you were almost ready to collide and fall onto the fresh leaves. “What are you doing?” You questioned confused, looking up at him with wide eyes as he pressed you against one of the trees. “Having my own way.” He announced, he was out of breath himself and looked down at you with furrowed eyebrows. “Your own ways?” You mumbled off and curious, not really knowing what to say and his hands were still on you. “Yes.” He breathed and leaned down to give you a breathless kiss. It was quick yet so passionate you were left even more confused when he pulled back and decided to run back to the field with the rest.

Calum:

“And Y/N you will partner up with… Calum.” Your head shut up so fast it was ready to fall from your body, your eyes were wide and your jaw was to the point of touching the table beneath you. The expression on your teacher’s face was bored, and it didn’t help when you smacked your hand against the table in anger. “I’m not gonna work with him!” You spat and watched as Calum placed his books on top of each other to change his seat and planted his ass on the chair next to yours. “It was a random choice Y/N.” The teacher reminded but you didn’t care. “I protest!” “You’re a high school student, Y/N. Not a debater. Now would you show Mr. Hood a bit of respect and start your protect. I’ve got other groups to assign.” You rolled your eyes and fell in your chair by her words, like you would actually listen to her. Calum was nothing else but a spoiled jock, you didn’t want to waste a minute on him! “You heard her.” He hummed from your side and pressed his pencil into the skin of his chin. You looked over at him and gave him a bored look, wanting to make him shut up already by forcing your book in his face. “For once show something respect.“ "And what? Be nice to you? I’d rather dissect a frog.” You didn’t want to look at him and glanced back at the books in front of you. You were never fond of reading but now it was the only thing that seemed to get your attention. “Y/N.” He hummed, poking you with his pencil. “Calum I’m reading and so should you. We’re two in this project there’s no way I’m letting you get away with me doing all the job.” You could hear a small cough come from him in respond but you didn’t want to look up at him. A challenged expression came to his face by your lack of interest and he decided to poke you again. Once, twice, and by the third time you couldn’t take it anymore so you grabbed it fast and broke it into two. “Read.” You spoke in monotone, looking at him with daring eyes before they adverted back to the pages. A small smile came to his face by your reaction and he looked down at the book as well in achievement.

Michael:

“But that doesn’t make any sense! We’re in a country of free speech and that means everyone is allowed to express their opinions without being told you’re an idiot!” You were so angry you were almost knocking down the chair behind you after standing up, just to show how you were feeling about this. “Well when we’re in situations like these where you’re completely off the actual topic then yes, Y/N, you’re an idiot.” Michael replied with the exact same tone as you and stood up from his chair as well. “Maybe if you woke up one day and saw it from another perspective than your own you would actually understand what is going on.” Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth ready to reply but that was when your teacher slammed her hands on her desk. “Y/N, Michael, that’s enough. High social classes are for debates yes but this is getting out of hand. I’m gonna ask you both to leave the class room immediately.” You looked over at her surprised but there was no way you could argue with her without getting attention. It was with a huge death glare towards Michael your threw your bag over your shoulder and leaded out of the classroom with him in your heels. “This is all your fault!” “My fault?” He spat and crossed his arms. “You were the one starting the argument in the first place.” You tossed your bag to the floor and smacked the door shut to the classroom. The argument would only get worse from now that you were out and free to say anything you wanted without weird glares. “I didn’t start anything you’re just always the opposite of me! I can’t express anything without having you right in my heels to comment on something and literally lick Mrs. Claire’s ass!” He furrowed his eyebrows by your words and crossed his arms again, the sun streaming in his face through the windows. “I’m not licking her ass I’m just trying to point out something because you always have a comment in something. Maybe you should let others talk?” “No because when you do it’s only crap coming out.” You almost wanted to yell, looking up at him with an angry expression but he didn’t say anything. He was looking down at you with such an intense stare you felt your heart skip a beat, something you hadn’t felt before with him.

Ashton:

“What are you two yelling about this time?” Calum almost groaned and moved past to stand between you. He could tell from the distance that something was up and since your voices had been echoing throughout the whole gymnastic hall. “He’s being unreasonable!” You almost wanted to step your feet on the ground in pure frustration after explanation to Calum what was going on. “I’m not being unreasonable you’re just being unrealistic.” Ashton argued and folded the sleeves of his football jersey, looking over at his best friend for help. “Y/N thinks that it will be best if we give some of the football field to the cheerleaders.” “Yes, because it’s a part of our job to cheer and lead when you’re playing a game! How come it be so weird!” You yelled back, this wasn’t the first time you were arguing. It happened every single time there was practice for the cheerleaders and the football team, you could never get along. Ashton was too stuck up in his own football to realize and the fact that he was captain didn’t make it any better. He thought he was the owner of everything but you were there to prove him wrong. “But if you’re asses are filling the whole thing we’re not able to play football properly. Important games are coming up and we need to focus on more important things that showing your knickers under your skirts.“ Your mouth opened wide by his words and you almost wanted to smack your hands against his chest in anger. Calum was standing behind you with the same boring look as always, why did he even bother to break in? It was always the same between you and Ashton. "You’re just a freaking ass Ashton. Maybe that should have been your name.” You pushed past him to get through and go back to the rest of your friends, you didn’t care you wanted to fill the whole football field if it was possible just to annoy the crap out of him. “I fucking hate her.” Ashton mumbled below his breath and cracked his knuckles in reaction. Calum looked over his shoulder and leaned down to tie the knot that had loosened on his football shoes. “You love her knickers though.” He announced in a low tone but it was enough for Ashton to hear, his eyes wide and following you head back towards the girls.

I wrote a little something to go with these drawings (there’s one more under the cut) about how Bill’s body becomes a burden to him after spending a few years in a human one. 

Inspired by Body by Mother Mother 

I’m putting the drabble under the cut because it pretty much pertains to suicidal thoughts and there’s a little bit of gore so there’s your warning. But the second picture is perfectly SFW. 

Other than that, it’s a pretty short read. Hope you like pain. 


Keep reading

Quinx becoming ghouls because of the traits they share with Kaneki

Something that was revealed in this chapter is that Urie’s RC count has become high enough at 1911, which it technically at a ghoul’s level where Urie could not eat Shiba’s sandwich without getting sick

However, from his straight up denial in the next he tries to play that it’s just the smell that got to him. It also hasn’t been revealed if Urie having trouble eating human food is a result of his Rc cell spike and that it went down, or if this is a permanent development. Yet, it is implied that after the Island Mutsuki also has become a full fledged half ghoul, as his Rc cell count is still unknown and it’s obvious that it must have spiked do to healing and implied that he might have eaten an investigator do to Mutsuki having an official CCG uniform by the time he found Amon. Also Mutsuki has had two dark marks holding that he is in fact a ghoul over his character, the blood Saiko smelt on him. 

These two facts brought one major question to mind and that is will all the quinx slowly turn into ghouls based on the one personality trait, or character arc that matches with Kaneki. I thought of this based on the fact that both Mutsuki and Urie have pretty much been condemned to having become a ghoul. Though both of them are doing so through ways the mirror Kaneki’s Journey, as Urie is doing so to protect others at the cost of himself, and Mutsuki through a traumatic event and coming to terms with his dark side.

Urie shares a personality trait with Kaneki that wasn’t really revealed until the passing of Shirazu, that Urie would sacrifice himself to make sure no other quinx is hurt every again by getting stronger. This mirrors what Kaneki did in part one by trying to stop Aogiri Tree. Urie has risked his own health to open frames to get stronger and by letting Hige go and fighting Donato on his own Urie will probably do the one thing Shiba told him not to

Thus foreshadowing that Urie will most likely do that turning him into a full half ghoul,thus following his Mentor in falling apart trying to help others.

Then there is Mutsuki who has been the most blatant parallel to Kaneki with the eyepatch and the sweet disposition. Yet, it was when Mutsuki was captured by Torso we learned that their was more to Mutsuki then we thought, much like we did about Kaneki during the Aogiri Tree arc. We learned about their families and the true nature of their childhood. Which leads to both of them accepting their darker side and fighting a stronger ghoul as if to seal the deal. 

Saiko however is the most stable of all the quinx’s as her Rc cell count hasn’t changed the most over the series and with it being 852 meaning it only spiked by 2 from the original 850. 

However, she is going through a very similar arc to Kaneki about learning that there is a difference between what a good ghoul and bad ghoul are and making the judgement for herself. Depending on where this character arc takes her she could either end up as a half-ghoul herself or in a way become an honorary if she decides to leave the CCG.

Yet, it all seems to fit considering

Kaneki was able to surpass Arima (I use surpass liberally here) which being a half-ghoul was what it took to “defeat” Arima, and as the quinx mentor it would make ironic sense if they follow in his foot steps.

…He’s really determined to join that scarf club.

Fresh belongs to @loverofpiggies

Itsy Bitsy

Gathered on the seats and thorns of the Colloseum of Twigs and Straw, thousands of spiderfolk from all across the tree waited anxiously for the weekly ritual. The web-roads were packed with people clambering to get inside the packed stadium. Nobody wanted to be left outside while the ritual took place, lest they face the wrath of their winged golden god.

While people were jumping, shoving and webbing over each other across the many branches of the tree, one spider girl was working on her own webbing, and going off the path.

As the hordes all gathered towards the main branch, Bitsy the spider girl was sneaking towards one of the minor ones. It was an abandoned avenue, occasionally inhabited by hunter spiders looking for termites and other prey burrowed inside the rotten unstable wood, but nobody else. It was a less than ideal place for her experiments, but it was the best she had.

Keep reading

Imagine taking a case in your home town

This post is Triggering! I am warning you all now that please don’t read if you are easily triggered. (Lots of death, suicide and just shitty mom)

Originally posted by thewinchesterdaily

The roar of the impala under you was the only thing keeping you grounded as you rolled down the open black strip of tar with the man you loved and his younger brother. Your head leaned against the window as the millions of trees passed you by, each one bringing you closer to your own personal hell…

“Babe.” the sound of Dean’s voice echoed through the hall as Dean approached your shared room where you had currently been laying down, your eyes glued to the illuminated screen of the small internet portal you held in your hands, “Babe you gotta get dressed, and pack a bag.”

“Why?” You whined as you looked at him, fully comfortable in the memory foam that was swallowing you up. A smile etched onto his face as he looked at you with complete love in his eyes. 

“Cause we gotta case, four officers dead in a small town in Georgia, looks like a ghost. We figured we would go check it out.”

“Oh.” The realization hitting you as though it was a 18 wheeler going far too fast.

“Didn’t you say you had family in Georgia, maybe we can stop and say…”

“I think my mother is far too busy to accommodate a visit from her daughter, who has not become a lawyer like her brother or a environmentalist like her other sister.” You interrupted, knowing that your mother never was a huge fan of yours, and you doubted she would take a visit from you and the boys as a pleasant occurrence. 

“Okay, well meet me at Baby in 15,” He instructed, as you nodded in reply, before quickly turning your attention back to the article you were scanning for familiar names, the same article Dean and Sam had just gotten your next case from.

Originally posted by canonspngifs

“Well here we are.” Dean said pleasantly as he carefully pulled the impala into the parking space outside the police station, the memories flooding back to you as the purring of the engine died away. 

“So we have the fake Id…..” you failed to hear the rest of the sentence however by the slamming of your own door, your legs carrying you into the building, as Dean watched your hips sway. It took several seconds for both men to establish which fake FBI ids to use, and then they let themselves into the building. Dean’s eyes already sweeping over the layout, however they soon caught an interruption when they noticed your back. You were seated on the desk of one of the elder officers, who seemed to be smiling up at you as he chattered away. In your hand they could both see that you were holding a picture frame, as though you had previously been looking at it. 

“Hey, did [Y/N] ever tell you where exactly in Georgia she grew up?” Sam whispered as the sound of your own laughter filled the air. 

“No, but I have a feeling we just found out.” Dean replied as he started towards you, and the older gentleman, who was clearly the one in charge.

“Excuse me, we were looking for Chief Gebel?” Sam asked another officer, who looked as though he was in his mid thirties, and an ex football player. 

“Yeah, he is right over there. HEY CHIEF, Feds are here.” He snapped quickly as the attention of both you and Gebel’s was drawn towards the sound of the man.

“Thank you Eric. Tell me [Y/N] , how long ya in town for?” 

“Oh depends on how fast these two get the case closed.” You replied with a smile as you pointed toward the Winchesters.

“Well make sure ‘fore ya go ya come around again. It ain’t been the same since…”

“It was nice to see ya Ernie and I am real sorry again about Herman.” You smiled at the boys before politely hopping from the desk and escorted yourself to the front door, where you sat your ass on the park bench you and the previous chief used to eat ice cream on when you were a child.


Dean’s POV  

“Agents, it is mighty nice of you both to come down here.” Officer Gebel smiled at us both after the swing door of the office shut behind [Y/N].

“Of course sir, we are sorry to interrupt your visit, was she your daughter?” Sam asked as I looked the man up and down, she never mentioned her parents, so who knew if this old guy could be her dad, he looked like he could be dad age.

“[Y/N] isn’t my daughter, her pa used to be the old chief here, however something went terribly wrong on a case, we were working it together. He, ummmm,” Gebel’s started to tear up a bit, and after a sniffle he continued, “sorry, you see Hank used to be my best friend, the girl might as well be my own, it really hit her hard when her daddy died. Even harder when her mother acted like nothing happened. She left when she was 17, and she never looked back, not even when her sister passed away.”

“I am so sorry to hear about your loss, well if you….”

“You mind telling me how her sister died?” I asked, Sam glaring at me, as though to tell me not to prey, that if my girlfriend wanted to tell me about it she would have. 

“Well ya see, when her dad died the children took it pretty hard, each child processed it differently. For [Y/N] it was dreamin’ of leaving, for her brother Grant it was signing up for the army, and for Kathleen, well she went from a popular cheerleader to an outcast, stopped talking to her friends. The only people she really spoke to were [Y/N] and Grant. Grant was 18 when it happened, the girls were both still in high school, Grant was gone for maybe a year or so when the letter came. Mary was devastated, first her divorce was becoming public, then her husband died in the line of duty, then her son. It was shortly after the funeral for him that [y/N] left town. She left a note saying she was never coming back, said she was tired of living in a cursed family. About three months later, Mary came home to Kathleen died in the parlor. Suicide, hung herself from the ceiling fan, remember having to take the body down myself. We tried to reach out to [Y/N], tell her about the funeral, but she never responded. Her mother became cold after that, and is now the mayor of the town, best mayor we have ever had actually.”

“Oh… Well do you think…”

“Excuse me Agent Anka, but the case.” Sam snapped, stopping me from my futhur investigation into [y/n]’s past.

“Sorry Agent Stevens, So tell me…” And as I asked about the case, my mind still lingered on the lie [Y/N] was living in.


y/n’s POV

You had found yourself wandering from the bench, and standing outside the stone steps of the town hall, your eyes looking at the windows which were all open, and the curtains billowed out of the openings. You soon found yourself walking up the steps and taking a deep breath before you opened the door and was greeted by the silence of the front office.

“Welcome to the Senoia town hall, if you would like to meet with the mayor…. OH MY GOSH [Y/N]!” the tall blonde behind the front desk greeted as she looked at you, her eyes widening at the site, as you sighed.

“Oh hey Heather.” You said unexcited as she stood up and started around the desk, wrapping her arms around you as you lightly tapped her covered arm.

“How have you been bestie? I feel like it has been….”

“12 years… yeah cause it has been.”

“Well I can see you have changed, what happened to the captain of the cheer squad who used to be so cheery?” Heather pouted as you looked at her in annoyane.

“Why did I even stop here, I remember the way up.” You huffed as you started towards the stair, stopping only for a second to snap, “And she died 13 years ago.”


The doors were still the same, and felt the same as you pushed them open revealing the office of an OCD official. Every paper was neatly piled, and sorted into color piles. the cabinets all were labeled alphabetically, and the room looked as though it was fully polished and cleaned several moments earlier, and the neurotic woman who was this insanely organized was standing with her back to the door, chattering away on her phone, as she examined her perfectly manicured nails in the sunlight. The hints of grey now visible in her  hair, and her thin frame covered in a bright yellow pant suit. Her voice flowed in the air as it reached your ears, “Give me a second Sherry I think the airhead just came in with my low fat, soy, latte with two pumps of cream, and a dash of that addicting vanilla flavoring.”

When she turned you could see the fake youth in her face, her skin pulled on her face, exposing her high cheekbones, and the slight crows feet forming at her made up eyes, her lips were thin and cracking, however still were covered in a sicking shade of pink, which matched the overuse of blush on her face. At the sight of you in the door her eyes widened, and her hand went to the small bump in her suit “I have to call you back Sherry, my runaway has finally come begging for money.”

“Begging for your money is the last thing I want.” You snapped as she hung up and looked at you, her shock turning into disgust as she glared you up and down.

“Well I can think of no other reason you would be standing before me, unless to tell me you are finally dying too.”

“Now why would I ever give you the satisfaction of hearing that?” You laughed as you shut the door behind you.

“Well for your information…”

“I know you are married to Eric, the same Eric who was Grant’s best friend. Tell me how are the kids?”

“How did you…”

“Ernie told me, so did Eric, since the first thing out of his mouth was, hey look guys my stepkid is here. So that was it, Daddy died, then your children either die or leave and you decide that instead of grieving like a normal widow, or looking for your daughter, you replace us all, like we were nothing to you. You really are shallow.”

“Is that why you came, after 12 years you finally wanted to see that I made something of my life unlike you, who judging by that outfit is unemployeed and probably living under a bridge somewhere.”

You started to chuckle, “Yeah Mary, whatever helps you sleep at night. I just hope that Eric is happy with that cobwebbed thing. Wonder if he is scared seeing how the first police academy boy you slept with Andrew is dead, along with Officer Nelson, Herman, and Charlies. Tell me if Grant was still alive and knew you were cheating on Dad with all his friends who were going to be police with him you think….”

“YOU ARE JUST A SAD LITTLE GIRL WHO CAN’T ACCEPT THAT HER FATHER WAS A DUMBASS AND WAS TOO STUPID TO SAVE HIMSELF AND WERE TOO SCARED TO FACE THE FACT THAT YOUR SIBLINGS ARE DEAD AND IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR DUMBASS FATHER’S DRUNKEN MISTAKES WHILE ON DUTY!” 

“Well at least he wasn’t a whore like you!” And with that you swung the door open again and slammed it behind you, and as you marched yourself down the stairs, you came face to face with two agents of the FBI.

“I’ll be in the car.” You growled as you stormed past.

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Originally posted by frozen-delight

“So when were you planning on telling us that this is the town you grew up in?” Sam asked that night as you all sat in the motel room, Sam on the couch with his eyes glued to the screen of the laptop, Dean sat at the table looking over files of the victims. and you were laying on the bed, staring at the yellowing ceiling as you drew a short breath.

“I knew you two would find out sooner or later, specially after we went in the police station.”

“And you were planning on telling us that your mom ran the whole town, or that your dad….”

“How do you know about my father and mother?” You asked, your body going from the laying down position to sitting up and looking at Dean, whose face was reddening at the sound of the springs. 

“Well your mom and you share…”

“She has a different last name, it is Fanzine, like the deputy down at the station, you know the football looking one. So I will ask you again, how did you know my mother runs the town and my father was the old chief.”

Dean was silent for a few minutes, you could see the lie forming in his brain as he processed the words he should say, however Sam was far quicker at responding, “Dean asked Ernie about it, however Ernie was not one who needed much convincing, seeing how he wasn’t even prompted at first to tell us. After that he…”

“Yeah Ernie is like that, well what do you want to know?”

“About the case or about you?” Dean asked as you looked at him, and saw the loving, protective nature pouring from them.

“Either.”

“Well what do you think about the case, the only theme I can find with the victims are that they were all roughly the same age, and had the same occupation. Did you know them?”

“Andrew Livingstone, Nelson Remington, Herman Grebel, and Charlies Greenbert were best friends, their close friend group also consisted of two other boys, Eric Fanzine, and Grant [Y/L/N]. All of them wanted to join the Senoia police force and work under my dad, and Herman’s uncle. They all were just punks, played minor pranks here or there, went fishing, hunted, were just boys.” 

“Other then the friendship can you think of something else that linked them?” Sam asked as you took another deep breath.

“I am sure Ernie mentioned the failing of the marriage when he was oversharing our family history. Well the marriage was failing because of my mother, whom I am sure you met already and saw her true form.”

“Yeah, I can see why you never mentioned her before.” Dean added as you smiled slightly

“Yes well she hides a whole lot of bitch under those pantsuits. She also however hides a cougar magnet. The marriage failing was no one’s fault but my whore mother’s. She was having an affair with Andrew Livingstone. Twice a week they would hook up in this hotel, in room 55B. It had been happening for almost a year, and while my father didn’t want my mother’s name to be slandered, since she was preparing to run for mayor again, we all knew about the affair. That was the start of what lead Grant to wanting to leave, the thought of this happening scarred him and ruined the very friend group he clung to. Dad dying was the second thing, and the big push. After that the remaining members of the group join the academy and were not doing well enough to join the force here, since the standards were set so high by the previous mayor. So to join the force they each slept with the current mayor of the time, hoping she would grant them entrance. It worked and with a strong referral from my mother, they got in. It was also during this time that Grant got killed in battle and when attending the funeral of her own son she arrived on the arm of his best friend, whom she was sleeping with. However no one knew of the relations between the group and the mayor except for the two girls who were forced to listen to it, seeing how the sex occurred in the bed her and my father shared. That is the main reason I left,I was tired of it, and soon so was Kathleen. She was the only one who had my number when I left. She said Mom was marrying Eric and she couldn’t live with the thought of her and Eric marrying so soon after everything, and the date of the wedding was set for the day my father died. I told her to come meet me, and I would take her away, but my message was too late, and was replied with, “I hope you are happy shank, cause your only sister is dead. NEVER show your face here again.” 

“Woah.” Was all either of the men before you could say, the tears running down your eyes as you wiped them away.

“Yeah. My family was one shitshow.” You giggled as Dean stood up and sat next to you, taking your frame in his arms as he pulled you close.

“I see now why you lied about them, I am so sorry.”

“It is fine. But I don’t know how this link could help. I mean the only thing I could think of was a ghost….”

“Wait, why did you think Ghost, we were thinking….”

“Did you guys not feel how cold the entire building was, it felt like the whole heating system was broken, even though it said it was 75 degrees in the room. Also before I left for the town hall, I did a sweep and the EMF was going nuts around the whole perimeter, and in the doorway.”

“You my love are a saint.” Dean said, kissing your temple as you smiled, and watched Dean go back to the files at the table, where he sat for a while more before the phone went into a frenzy. 

“Agent Stevens speaking.” Sam replied as he looked at you again, as you watched in wonder as his eyes widened.

“We will get there in a second, DON’T touch anything till both I and my partner arrive.” He emphasized before he closed the phone and looked at the two of you, “Eric Fanzine is dead.”

“I wanna go see.” you replied, as both boys leapt into action, both reaching for the FBI suit jackets as you rose as well, pulling your duffle out to collect the pencil skirt and button down you always wore when playing the female FBI role. 

“No, I think…”

“Well if I go with you, then I have an alliby that the police will believe, I can just say I was with you two, helping research the case, since I am an….”

“And when they decide to look up the fact that you aren’t a Feb, and then take you in for this, since I am assuming that is what you think will happen, then we all are screwed. So please princess, stay here.” Dean whispered as he leaned over to kiss you, before leaving out the door with Sam, as you pouted slightly, and laid down on the creaky mattress.


Dean POV

When the boys returned it was early morning, and you were curled up on the bed, the sunrise rays slowly dancing on your face. I slowly walked to the side of bed she was facing and lifted my hand to brush the hair from the front of her face. She smiled slightly as she hummed in her sleep. 

“So tell me Dean, what the fuck was that back there?” Sammy snapped as he threw the jacket onto the couch before flopping down onto the other bed, and looked at me.

“Sammy I am sorry, but I couldn’t just let them talk shit about my girlfriend like that.”

“Oh thank God you two are here. I accidentally left my wife’s Tupperware here, and I was coming back to get it. That is when I walked in and I…. I don’t know what I saw.” Gebel rambled as Sam and I entered the station, which was covered in police tape and investigators. 

“Well can you try to word it as best as you can?” Sam asked as I took my time looking at the desk that Eric had been seated at earlier, which was decorated with a few photographs, one of a little girl with big blue eyes, one of him and [Y/N]’s mother, and another of a group of football players, one who looked as though he could be the male version of [y/n]. 

“Well I thought…. I saw Hank.” He shakily whispered as his face paled, my head turning towards him, “Like with his hand in his torso.”

“Well that sounds….”

“OH MY ERICBOO!” A high pitch scream came from the doorway, the source dressed in silk pajamas, and a pair of sneakers as she raced towards the body. Gebel quickly reached out and stopped her from racing into the scene as my teeth tightened. 

“My Husband!” She wailed as she crumbled in Gebel’s embrace

“I am so sorry Mary. Eric was a good kid, everyone….”

“Where is my daughter, I demand she be brought in for questioning!”

“Excuse me ma’am but why would your’s and Eric’s child be guilty, for one is not even born yet and the other is 4.”

“Not them, my other ungrateful child, who hated my husband and was jealous of my success.”

“And why would she be jealous of you. You just look like a miserable old woman who only got a young husband because you promised him mind blowing sex probably and a young looking hag.” I barked as she looked at me with reddened eyes.

“How DARE YOU! I am GRIEVING!” Mary snapped as she placed a hand upon her stomach, “Oh My darling Eric.”

“You can’t believe the [Y/N] would have done something like this. This is awful, and…”

“I want to know where she is! I want her…”

“She was with me!.” I yelled, the woman and officer glaring at me as I sighed, “I am her husband, and when I told her that I was taking a case here, she wanted to come and visit her hometown, maybe show me the sights. We were keeping it a secret from you all because she didn’t want to boast that she married an agent. At the time the murder occurred we were having sexual intercourse, we are trying for a baby. My partner can confirm this, since we were making him sit in the car at the time of the act.” 

“You and my daughter…. are married.” Mary asked, her face in shock as she looked at him blankly.

“Yes. Now Chief Gebel, if you can please escort Mrs. Fanzine home so we can work.” Sam instructed as he slowly took her out of the room and into an meeting office, as I left the station. 

“Well I suggest that you go to bed, and hope that you didn’t throw the whole case.”

“Yeah but Sammy, it makes sense doesn’t it, I mean all the victims were involved with [Y/N]’s mom, and Gebel said he saw her ex husband, who was a cop. What if…”

“Dean, we will talk about it later, right now, I just want an hour of sleep.” Sam yawned as he turned away, my feet carrying me to the empty side of the bed, where I laid next to [y/n], praying for her sake the killer wasn’t the ghost to her dead father.

Originally posted by bringmesomepie56

Part 2

8

though she is but little, she is fierce. [x]