a touch of compassion

GEMINI: It’s really easy for people to criticize the choices you’ve been forced to make when they’ve never worn shoes as tattered as yours. The ground never seems rocky to anyone until they’ve personally experienced its brutality, and you’ve been braving the blood and the bruises for years without complaint. It’s okay to feel proud of yourself, for that. It’s okay to acknowledge the things that have made you who you are, even if those things haven’t always been beautiful or easy to talk about. Everything’s easier to appraise once it’s been given a voice.

CANCER: Stop convincing yourself that you don’t deserve the treasure chests that keep arriving on your doorstep. You’ve spent so long attempting to find the reason in your misfortune that you’ve incorrectly deduced that the only commonality between every pitfall is yourself. But you haven’t been factoring in how cruel the universe is, how angry it gets whenever something with a warm heart tries to touch what’s frozen. You’re finding all of this gold and compassion because it’s finally time for you to get what you’ve been giving to others. Take it.

LEO: You know, more so than anybody else, that it’s time to let go of the things that have hurt you, but there’s no easy way to say that you don’t know how to get rid of people that you’ve held so close to your chest. And maybe this says something about how much you try to give to others, all of the parts of yourself you’ve sacrificed for the comfort of soon-to-be-strangers. But the thing about leeches is that they drain you more often than they rid you of disease, especially in this season. And maybe this isn’t a leech yet, but it could become one, with time. Don’t let it.

VIRGO: It’s easy for you to ignore how much people truly care for you when you don’t feel as though you deserve it. The difficulty with this arises whenever you need help, as you’ve never learned how to ask for anything. So you let yourself feel distant from open palms and words of encouragement because you know you can do this yourself. While that’s true, you’re more than strong enough to conquer what’s been eating at you, it’s also true that the love that keeps getting shoved under your door is yours for the taking. It’s okay to pick it up. It’s okay to save it.

LIBRA: You’ve been peering out the window, comparing your reflection to everybody that passes by, and you seem to be forgetting that there’s a mirror right behind you. The only person that you need to measure yourself against is the person you were yesterday. I know it’s frustrating that progress too often moves like honey, and it’s impossible to see growth when you’re always with the thing that’s growing, but slow-motion is still motion. You may not be the person you want to be right now, but you will be. So turn around. Say hello to them.

SCORPIO: You were born with a shovel in your hand and you’ve been spending every moment since then dredging up the past. This is another way of saying that you have a lot of corpses buried in your backyard and despite the passage of time you’re afraid that they’re going to get up and walk away. Maybe come back as ghosts and haunt you, a reminder of what you’ve had to leave behind. But just because you’ve always had the tools to create self-doubt, it doesn’t mean you have to keep them on you at all times. It’s never too late to invest in a toolshed or try out gardening.

SAGITTARIUS: Have you found what you’ve been searching for, yet? Or, maybe a better question is “do you know what you’re looking for?” Because you’ve become an expert at donating your energy to a cause, any cause at all, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s all a distraction. If you’re struggling in the deep end and aren’t comfortable saying so. If you’re calling yourself a lifeguard because every atom of you is begging to be pulled out of the water. Baby, you’re so much more than a body that tries its best to save people. You’re worth more than what you’ve dragged out of the pool.

CAPRICORN: So many people that you care about have been falling into bad luck recently and it makes you feel so powerless. It’s as though you’re a minor character in your own life and you have to just sit back and watch the protagonist fuck things up in order to learn a lesson, or something like that. And I’m not going to lie and say that you’re able to have full control over every aspect of your life, because you never will. But remember that, despite all of this, every little thing you do to combat the world’s anger is a brave sort of rebellion. You are more than enough to the people you love.

AQUARIUS: There are a lot of people that you regret letting into your life and the memory of what you thought they’d be is making it hard for you to get out of bed. It’s okay to be sad, your feelings have only ever known the taste of validity, but know that nobody has the ability to ruin you. Someday they’re all going to regret setting fire to your bark when they realize how miraculous your leaves are in the summer heat, dancing in the breeze of late-night drives with people that want to keep you safe. Repeat after me: I am not damaged. I am not damaged. I am not damaged.

PISCES: I know that it’s hard to put faith in the moments of happiness you’ve been experiencing lately when so much of your life has been spent checking the clock and turning down the music, but you are not an airport or a train station. You’re a destination. And I know that you’re still getting used to the idea of being the subject of a travel brochure and that’s okay. It takes time to become comfortable with anything, even the good. Especially the good. The June air is buzzing and this is your time to shine. Don’t waste it.

ARIES: So, some eras of your life have been ending recently and that’s a little scary. Especially since you worked so hard to get what you’re holding. But they’re just making way for better adventures and happier moments and the only thing left for you to do is embrace that. Welcome change with open arms and it’ll be kind to you. I know there’s a voice in the back of your head saying “what if it all gets bad again” but you need to ignore that voice because it isn’t you. You are the person that’s endured and withstood and kept going. You’re the one that matters, here.

TAURUS: It’s been becoming more and more clear to you that out of all the people you’ve met and interacted with, there are very few you’d consider to be a “friend.” And I know that sometimes it feels like that’s all you’re ever going to get, but it isn’t. One’s hometown is, thankfully, never representative of the world in its entirety and there’s still so much you have left to see. Still so many souls that you’ll discover in the most mundane of places. You just have to keep your eyes open. I know it’s easier to sleep through the sadness, but you’re stronger than that urge, aren’t you? You are.
The Best Films of 2017 - Mid-Year List

There have already been many great films so far this year, so I felt it worth doing a run down of my favourite films of the year so far. These all reflect the cinema releases we’ve had so far in the UK in 2017 - for that reason this list includes some films that were released in the US in 2016. Enjoy, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the best films of the year so far!

Honourable mentions: Their Finest, Colossal, Gifted

1. Get Out, dir. Jordan Peele

This film really knocked me for six, to such an extent that I simply had to see it twice in the cinema. It got even better upon a re-watch, when I was able to watch it with full knowledge of the characters’ underlying motives and the things to come. It’s a terrifying concept (the racism of an all-white suburb is taken to a horrifying extreme) executed with incredible panache, and you feel every emotion that Chris goes through thanks to Daniel Kaluuya’s excellent performance. Get Out also represents one of the most brilliantly communal experiences I’ve ever had at the cinema - I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say that the audience erupted into spontaneous applause at a key moment in the climax. Simply fantastic. 

2. The Handmaiden, dir. Park Chan-wook

This film is exquisite - it’s first and foremost a beautiful boundary-smashing love story, and an absolutely marvellous tale of female defiance. It transplants Sarah Waters’ novel Fingersmith to 1930s Korea, and the story is effortlessly adapted to become intrinsically interwoven with its new setting. Sookee is a talented pickpocket plucked from a thieves den and sent as a handmaiden to trick a rich heiress into falling for a conman. To say any more would spoil the twists, but this film is just a masterwork of suspense, keeping you guessing throughout a series of interlocking pieces that take their time to reveal their secrets. I’ve seen the theatrical cut and the extended version, and they’re both great - you’re in for a treat with either.

3. Jackie, dir. Pablo Larrain

This is a film that soars on the strength of Natalie Portman’s incredible performance, which is complemented by Mica Levi’s haunting score. Portman’s performance is painfully vivid, with her agony and wretchedness coming through so intensely that it’s often uncomfortable to watch. Jackie is probably the best portrait of grief I’ve ever seen, and it sucks you into a famous historic event by providing an incredibly intimate perspective on it. This is great cinema, but be prepared for suffering.

4. A Cure for Wellness, dir. Gore Verbinski

This is a delightfully strange Gothic fairy tale of a film, and I’m amazed and impressed that a Hollywood studio gave Gore Verbinski a budget sufficient to pull it off with such beauty and style. I’ve seen this film attract love and hate in equal measure, but I adore it - the trailers set you up for a rehash of Shutter Island, but nothing could be further from the truth beyond the isolated setting. If I had to compare this to anything, I would compare it to Roger Corman’s Poe cycle of films from the 1960s - it has a similarly lurid sensibility and a deep-seated sense of fantastic romanticism at its core. Great if you’re after something uncompromisingly bonkers.

5. Wonder Woman, dir. Patty Jenkins

This film represented pure joy for me - I couldn’t have anticipated how emotional I was going to get at witnessing a (wonder!)woman crossing No Man’s Land and deflecting bullets with her bracelets. This simultaneously rejects the wry self-awareness of the Marvel films and the grim self-importance of the previous DC movies, instead unabashedly depicting a superhero who triumphs thanks to her overriding belief in love and compassion. Patty Jenkins adds endless little touches - from funny moments to quiet scenes where characters talk simply to learn about each other - that enrich the film and make it feel vivid and intimate in a very rare and special way.

6. Silence, dir. Martin Scorsese

This is truly the work of a master filmmaker, and it represents a stunning artistic achievement and a moving and intelligent investigation of the threshold of faith. Scorsese tried to get this made for decades before finally succeeding, and his passion for and belief in the project shine through in every painstakingly crafted frame. Silence is equal parts beauty and brutality, and it uses this contrast to illuminate the painful questions that the faithful must ask themselves when faced with the harsh reality of the present world. It’s heavy stuff, but well worth your time if you’re up for a film that raises more questions than it answers.

7. In This Corner of the World, dir. Sunao Katabuchi

I had no idea this film existed until a few days before I saw it, but I was really struck by its poetic treatment of the joys and tragedies of life. This film follows a young bride who moves to live with her husband’s family in WWII-era Japan, and while it deals unflinchingly with the trauma and horror of war - particularly the bombing of Hiroshima - it’s also surprisingly funny and ultimately hopeful. The power of this film comes through in the little moments of human connection and the way that the full potential of animation is exploited to maximum effect.

8. La La Land, dir. Damien Chazelle

A lovely ode to the classic Hollywood musical, La La Land is a technical marvel that sticks with me because of its heart and humanity (those words are recurring a lot, right?). It tells a very small story of a love affair between two dreamers in Hollywood, but it feels much bigger than them because of the way in which their story is told. La La Land draws from influences across the spectrum of cinema, and its homages to the classics are joyful and loving. The final ‘what might have been’ sequence represents the perfect marriage of raw emotion and filmmaking virtuosity. 

9. Okja, dir. Bong Joon-ho

Not many films can balance flatulence jokes with uncompromising critique of capitalist greed, but Okja pulls it off with aplomb. The core story hinges on the innocent and endearing friendship between a young girl named Mija and a bio-engineered super pig called Okja, and the film succeeds because you totally buy their connection and desperately want the two of them to have their wish and live together in the mountains. I’m delighted that Netflix gave Bong Joon-ho a platform to make such a weird beast.

10. Logan, dir. James Mangold

Logan may be bleak, but that isn’t what makes it great - Logan is fantastic cinema because it remembers that superheroes are still people who struggle with their own souls as much as super-villains. This film features the best character work managed in any of the X-Men films, and Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart and - in particular - Dafne Keen give heart-rending performances that really ground the film and give it an emotional core. I hope we get more superhero films like this, and that the takeaway from it for the industry is the importance of stressing character rather than frantic spectacle.

Most anticipated films still to come: War for the Planet of the Apes, Valerian and the City of A Thousand Planets, Dunkirk, The Beguiled, Mother!, Logan Lucky, Blade Runner 2049, Murder on the Orient Express, The Shape of Water, Annihilation, Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Finding Things/Memory Spell🌿

a spell for when many things go missing, to help things reappear

🌿 gather: a compass, a sprig of rosemary, and white thread. 

🌿 attach the rosemary to the compass using white thread

🌿 hold level, and turn three times clockwise with the compass

🌿 place it in the center of the room. 

🌿 wait a few days for it to begin to draw out the things lost

🌿 for memory, each time there is something important to remember, touch the compass and place it somewhere else. 

sindotexe  asked:

Tony is protective of his stuff

“Did Tony just fucking hiss at me?” Clint asked as he walked into the kitchen, looking put-out. Bucky and Steve peered around each other through the door at Tony, who was curled up on the living room couch covered in a blanket, Natasha lying to one side and partially on top of him and DUM-E on the other side, the bot beeping as he carded his metallic fingers through Tony’s curls. 

“Yeah, probably,” Bucky answered as Clint sulked at the table, flopping into a chair. 

“Did you try and touch his robot?” Steve asked, turning back to his cooking. 

“Well yeah, the thing is weird.” 

“Oh, don’t touch Tony’s bots,” Bruce said as he walked in, heading over to the tea pot. “Never touch his bots. He might kill you. His moral compass points in that direction.” 

“It’s not like I hurt it!” 

“Doesn’t matter, his bots are like his children. Only Natasha can touch them.” 

“Why can Natasha touch them!” The other three looked up at each other before shrugging. 

“Have you seen them, Clint? They’ve bonded.” 

“What does that mean!?” 

I (my mature diamond ass) secretly spectate my friends’ (silvers) games, have a laugh at whatever they do and quit spectating before the game ends so they don’t catch me spectating them. Then I queue up and lose the 1st game almost every time because karma got my ass, but it is worth every single spectate.

anonymous asked:

about something you posted earlier--how do you know God is so... happy if we come to Him? Like it was so moving (I almost started crying in all honesty) but I can't comprehend God would have any positive emotion at all about my coming to him. I feel like I expect the "about time you showed up" response more than anything. Sorry if this message doesn't make sense or is ignorant. Thanks for all you do <3

Don’t be sorry. I know completely what you mean. I’ve had times where I feel like Jesus just tolerates me. But, I need to tell you. He ADORES you. The Bible, God’s-word, God-breathed, God-inspired is full of love letters and stories for us. For you. You.

I want you to read some of these and understand this it’s God, trying to communicate to you. So for a moment, it’s just for you. It’s you and Jesus. 

Luke 15:11-32. The Parable of the Lost Son. This child, comes back into his fathers home (into God’s presence) and his dad meets him and wraps his arms around him, kisses him, covers him in fine clothes, puts a ring on his finger and declares that a marvellous feast be held. When you come into God’s presence, He does the same thing. This story is about you. When you come to Jesus, he wraps His arms around you, He kisses you, He dresses you in fine silk and jewellery and He declares a feast be made in your honour. He is so happy to see you.

Zephaniah 3. This is a time in the Bible when Jerusalem was going crazy. It says they were “rebellious and defiled.” And God was sad for a while. He was disappointed and angry at them. But, God’s love is so unwavering, so powerful, so on fire that He could not be angry for long. Verse 17 says “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you; but will rejoice over you with singing.” He delights in you. When He thinks about you, He rejoices with singing. God, the King of all finds Himself singing when you enter His presence. You, dear child. 

Matthew 8. Now, back when Jesus was walking upon the face of the earth, having leprosy was pretty much the worst thing anyone could have. People hated you if you had leprosy. Shopkeepers wouldn’t serve you, people would avoid you, mothers would cover their children’s eyes. But Jesus, so full of love and compassion, reaches out His hand and touches this man with leprosy. I can imagine people in the background gasping at the sight. But Jesus just has so much love for His children that this is not a barrier. He loves you this much. When you walk into His presence, no matter what state you’re in, He is willing and He wants to spend time with you. 

Matthew 14:22-33. I love this one. So, all the disciples see Jesus walking on the water, and Peter wants to join Him. Jesus calls Peter out and he gets out of the boat to walk on the water with Jesus. But, Peter becomes afraid and begins to sink. Now, what does Jesus do. IMMEDIATELY, He reaches out His hand and catches Him. Then, He goes on to ask why he was afraid. But, I love this because Jesus doesn’t watch Peter start to sink and tell him “just don’t doubt, you’ll be fine.” Jesus doesn’t wait for Peter to drown, learn his lesson and then pull him up and tell him what he did wrong. No. The second that Peter asks for Jesus to save him, Jesus catches him. Straight away. He loves Peter so much. He loves you this much. His heart aches when you are in pain and the second that you ask Him to save you, He IMMEDIATELY reaches out His hand to catch you. 

Jesus died for you. Jesus died for you. Jesus DIED for you. An innocent man, who deserved only good things. He watched His friends betray and deny Him. He watched as they declared they did not know Him in front of accusers. He watched a guilty man go free as the public, screaming, decided that He was of less worth than a murderer. He suffered agony by the hands of Romans; from being spat on and having thorns pierce His temples, to having His flesh ripped and shredded until His bones began to glow red. He carried a heavy cross up a hill, collapsing underneath it. He then laid down on that cross and felt the sheer sting of 3 nails skewer His bones to keep Him in place. He was lifted, naked and bloody, on display for all. Friends and family. Even His own mother. For hours He struggled to attain every breath. And then He died. He died. He experienced all that because of His love for you. He went through all of that, because He desperately wants relationship with you. Do you think that He would experience so so much, because He only feels “meh” about you. No way! He went through all of that because he utterly ADORES you. He ADMIRES you. He CHERISHES you. HE DELIGHTS in you. He TREASURES you. He is up and down CRAZY for you. He loves you. So so so so so so much. SO MUCH! Child of God, when you enter His presence, He runs toward you and cheers because He would love to spend some time with You. He died because He finds so much joy in being with you. 

He does not tolerate you. He is not an ‘about time you showed up’ kind of God. He’s an ‘I’m so glad you came. I’m overjoyed. I love you so much. I love you so much. I love you so much’ kind of God. And it’s for you. YOU. 

xx - c

More soulmate AUs
  • Everything is black and white until you meet/touch your soulmate AU
  • You can communicate with your soulmate through your mind before even meeting AU
  • You hair colour always matches your soulmate’s AU (x)
  • You feel your soulmate’s emotions as well as your own AU
  • Soulmates have a half of a tattoo each AU
  • Soulmates die shortly after meeting AU (x)
  • Soulmates can read one anothers’ minds AU
  • You can taste what your soulmate eats AU
  • Soulmates have the exact same tattoos in the same place AU
  • Soulmates feel each others pain AU (x)
  • Everyone owns a compass which points to their soulmate AU
  • Your soulmate’s touch can heal wounds/fade scars AU

There are so many ambiguous lines in The Force Awakens, that it makes my head spin. So many scenes that have hidden meanings, or purposefully flow into another scene that makes you on a subconscious level see the parallels. Combine those scenes with the novelization, and each time I watch it I see/hear something I hadn’t noticed before. A few lines that stand out to me:

1) ‘We’re Not Done Yet’. - Star Killer Base is exploding all around them, he just killed his father, he has a MAJOR wound to his side from Chewie’s bowcaster that could make him bleed out, yet Kylo does what? He trudges out into the snow to find the 'traitor’ and Rey. All bets are off here. What did he have to gain/prove by killing/capturing them? What did he think he would do, anyway? Try to probe Rey’s mind again for the map? Kill Finn for disowning the First Order? Yeah, that was such a high priority at the moment, while his life was literally ending before our eyes. Maybe his anger drove him, or his helplessness at his actions with Han. Maybe he was afraid to come to Snoke empty handed, yet I can’t see how that one holds water. He just killed his father, for God’s sake. He did the ultimate act of proof for that monster that he was obedient. He could have left well enough alone, and lived to fight another day. For all Kylo knew, Finn and Rey might have died on the imploding planet. Problem solved for him. But nope. He went after them, with one intent as far as I can see: He wanted Rey. Dealing with Finn was a distraction. But his words to her, 'We’re not done yet’, were directed to her alone and because even though he might not have known who she was yet (It is you- the novel) he had a good idea from the interrogation and her escape that she was someone important to his future. He was jealous (that she was with Finn) he was angry (that she witnessed what should have been his 'finest’ hour - killing Han, yet he was at his weakest) and he was lost (that he did this unspeakable act that was supposed to make him stronger, only to feel even more guilty, alone, confused, and pulled towards the light). There was NO way he was letting her go without a fight. And I don’t even think he meant to harm her at all. She pulled the blaster on him first, prompting him to save his skin by sending her flying into the tree, and she attacked with Luke’s saber first, prompting him to engage her in a duel. Rey drew first blood.

2) 'The Girl I’ve Heard So Much About’. - Okay. From whom? Unless it was offscreen, in which case they should have included it in the finished cut, because how the hell did he hear so much about 'The Girl’ when the only person who he spoke to about it was Mitaka. Did Mitaka have a dosier on Rey? Did he question everyone at Niima Outpost and learn all about Rey and her non-existent flying skills? Because all he said to Ren were those seven words. All he said was 'The two were accompanied by a girl.’ You’d think that because this 'girl’ was going to play such an important role in Kylo’s life going forward, that we would have been privy to what he’d 'heard’ about her. We don’t see Kylo investigating her, or gathering intel on her after Mitaka tells him this. I can understand his attention when the Stormtrooper said in the Forest that the droid was spotted with the girl, and why he fled to find the one who helped the droid and FN-2187 escape. But his weird line to her, 'The Girl I’ve Heard So Much About’, makes ZERO sense to me. Is it purposefully ambiguous? Are we to think he knows more than we think? Was it an error? Even paralyzed Rey looks at him like, 'Huh?’ How could you possibly know me? It’s this reason that I feel he knows ALL about her, in some way. It’s the only possible explanation for the novels line 'It Is You’. Whether he knows of her but never met her (As JJ Abrams said Rey and Kylo never met), or he feels she is the reason for the Force awakening, or if he’d had visions of her like she had of him, he has to have had some inkling of who Rey was. The fact he flipped out on Mitaka and almost choked him is another indicator. So a girl helped them escape. Was it really so surprising that a Good Samaritan on that planet could have helped Finn and BB8 out? Maybe she was a pilot, or a smuggler. Whatever. His reaction was very telling. He’s heard so much about this girl, because he knows this girl in one way, shape, or form.

3) 'Don’t Be Afraid, I Feel It Too.’ - Yeah. This is probably the most ambiguous line of all. As is the probing look Kylo gives Rey before he voices it. It’s clear to me that he is reacting to whatever Rey is thinking in that moment, and whatever it is, it MUST be something about him. And that something must NOT be negative. Because if she’s thinking 'He’s a creature, a monster, etc. I doubt Kylo’s reaction would be 'Don’t be afraid, I feel it too. If she’s thinking 'I hate him, I want to kill him, etc. again, I doubt his reaction would be 'Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.'He doesn’t hate her, nor want her dead. If he did, she would have been mistreated, bloodied, beaten, raped, or killed. He took care of her before, during, and after the interrogation by seeing no harm came to her. The only conclusion to me on not only why Kylo looked at her with such surprise before he said it and the words he used, was because somewhere in Rey’s mind she felt him interesting, attractive, and she was curious about him the same way he was curious about her. Kylo saw/heard this in her thoughts, and it puzzled him. Anti’s say Rey was terrified in this scene, and that she had no interest in her captor, etc. Yet her reaction speaks for itself. When he removed his mask, she did not look terrified. She looked startled and a bit disoriented. She didn’t expect THAT to be what she had thought a creature. And she seemed pretty self conscious and embarrassed at his calling her a scavenger, yet she usually wore that moniker as a badge of honor. Here he is, a handsome, young, high ranking and probably wealthy officer while she is a dirt poor scavenger who hasn’t had proper nutrition or grooming. In that moment, she was like any woman would be when faced with a man she found attractive despite herself: she was embarrassed that she was a nobody. Yet she held her own pretty damn well with NO help. By the end of the scene, she had the upper hand in every way. After her turning the tables on him, using his greatest fear against him, he could have hurt her or worse. He turned tail and fled to his Master for help. He was afraid of Rey, and needed Snoke’s 'guidance’. The only reason the mind probe hurt was because she resisted so firmly. You’d thiink with his temper, he would have injured her. But no, he never touched her. Why? Because he was already interested in her. Already had COMPASSION for her. And whatever it was he saw in her thoughts, HE FELT IT TOO.

4) 'Rey’. - I’ve shown this scene to friends, family, tumblr friends, my doctor, my mailman, my dry cleaner, etc. They all see and hear what I see and hear. After Rey defeats Kylo and he’s lying in he snow, before he sits up and gives her a look that is equal parts awed, smitten, disbelieving, shocked, and helpless…he moans (probably in exhaustion and pain) and says the word 'Rey’. I’ve heard people say he was just moaning gibberish. Or the word Okay (???) Or it was just a sound of discomfort at his defeat. Whatever. Sure, I’m a Reylo Shipper. And the part of me that WANTS a Reylo pairing to come to fruition would gladly make things up to head in that direction. Yet I’ve seen this scene on my ultra HD tv which is 60 inches and has surround sound, on youtube on my laptop, on my I Phone, on the TV’s at Best Buy (you get the picture) And you cannot tell me in that scene Kylo does not say the word Rey in a voice filled with pride and longing and yes…passion. She’s just bested him (wounded or not) after they 'Found the Force together’. Show of hands of people who thought he would orgasm right there on the edge of that cliff as he watched her meditate. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her Light. Since I think he now 'know’s her, I think he is even more drawn to her and wants her even more. He just begged her to let him be her teacher. So he is pretty stoked to see her use that beautiful rage he finds so attractive in her, even if it was against him. I’d hate to sound like he was fueled by lust in this scene, since it’s a family movie and PG-13. But the way I heard him say Rey? I expected him to light up a cigarette while he was down for the count on his fine ass. I think dueling with her REALLY excited him, and I hope to see more of that in TLJ.

So yeah. I waste a lot of time thinking about these kind of things. All I can say in my defense is if The Powers That Be didn’t want fans to obsess about this kind of stuff, then they shouldn’t do such a good job at leaving things so open to interpretation. :D



Jamie knocked on her door early.  She was still in her robe, and a bit defensive. The bruise on her jaw long since faded since the last time he’d interviewed her. The house behind her, tidier.  Cleaner.  Key pieces of furniture missing, like the man’s recliner.  

“I’ve told you everything I know,” she stated.  

Jamie smiled.  “I understand, Ma’am, but perhaps ye could tell me one thing? Where did ye both eat before yer husband passed?”

“Where did we eat? That was months ago now.”  The woman thought for a moment.  “I don’t remember the name of the place.  It had a weird name.”

“Can ye remember where it was, exactly?”  Come on, Jamie thought.  Give me one thing so I can follow through on Claire’s information. 

“Around Covent Garden station.  Best I can do, Detective.  It’s just a little hole in the wall, you know?  Lots of shops, all with a central yard.”

Jamie thanked the woman, and left.  Covent Garden was a start.  When he talked to the girlfriend of the second victim he noticed the same defensive position.  And the same healing of bruises.  She’d narrowed it down further. He took out his phone to dial Claire and realized he didn’t have her number.  

He’d just have to pop round her place. 

They came up out of the tube station, and looked around.  

“Where the bloody hell do we start?”  Claire could never be a detective. She liked the orderliness of her morgue. Nowhere to hide in there. Plus, she knew where to start with a body.  “I mean. This place could be anywhere!”

“Up Long Acre to Neal’s Yard.  It’s somewhere up there.”  

They walked up the busy street.  No words exchanged between them.  

Anxiety gripped her.  She never knew what her reaction was going to be.  And they were never under her control.  

She scanned the shops hoping to catch a glimpse of it before it was upon her, so she could prepare.  The streets were cobbled, the buildings red brick, some with colourful fronts.  In any other circumstances she would enjoy poking around this area of London.  

Jamie sensed Claire’s nerves.  She jumped at every car horn, every rumble of a lorry.  When they turned off the main street and started down narrow cobble alleys she became more tense.  It was almost as if she thought the place they sought was alive to jump out at her.  

He resisted the urge to take her hand, or place an arm around her in comfort. He might do more damage.  He couldn’t imagine living like that, where your thoughts could assault you at any moment. Where a touch could render you helpless.  He felt a compassion for Claire that he hadn’t properly felt for anyone before.  As a police officer attachments were forbidden. You couldn’t be rational in a situation if you were invested in it.  Your gut always reacted before your brain.  So he set his pace to hers, and tried to stay in tune with her, without really looking at her.

Neal’s Yard was absolutely adorable. Colourful awnings.  Red, white and blue flags.  Brightly coloured cafes. She almost started to smile, then felt Jamie’s nudge.  She looked to where he pointed, felt a small swoon. He put out his arms to steady her without touching her, almost as if he were waiting for her to fall into them.  He was considerate.  Respectful.  And she liked that. 

Claire nodded, took a deep breath, and walked forward.  She paused, scanned the store front.  Noted everything.  She opened the door to the tiny bistro.   Immediately she staggered backwards in recoil, right into Jamie’s chest.

A cobalt blue floor.

Jamie didn’t dare use his hands.  As far as he could tell, that’s what triggered her visions.  Instead, he stepped up to Claire, placing his chest against her back like a wall.  Her head fit just under his chin.  

Dammit.  It would have to fit perfectly.  

He grabbed the door, opening it a bit wider.  “Ye can do this,” he whispered. “I’m right here.”

Claire nodded again.  They walked through the door.  It was exactly as she pictured it.  He had her sit at a small table while he perused the array of fresh lettuces and vegetables in the glass cases.  

“Can I help ye?”  

The voice was Scottish.  Highland, like his.  Her hair was a brighter red than his, and the eyes as green as the awning outside.  He smiled, and turned on the charm.

“Aye, ye can.”  He watched her eyes widen, and a smile cross her face.

“Where are ye from?” she asked, delighted.  

“Broch Morda.  Ye’d never find it, even with a map.  You?”

“Near Inverness.  What brought ye to London?”  She seemed friendly.  If he warmed her up maybe she’d talk.  

“Did ye no’ hear me say I’m from Broch Morda?  There’s maybe 20 folk live there.”  He yawned in exaggeration, and she laughed.  

“Weel, welcome to my little restaurant.  Are ye alone?”  She cocked her head to the side, waiting for his answer.

“No.  With my girl, over there.”  He gestured vaguely to Claire. “We’ve never been here so how do we go about ordering then?”

She smiled politely.  She quit flirting, but was still friendly.  She explained each and every possible combination of food.  Jamie nodded along then excused himself to talk to Claire.  

He managed to fold himself into the little white chair across from her.  “Ye okay, Claire?”

“Don’t speak to me like that!” Claire shouted.  

Jamie reared back.  What the hell?  He was about to speak when he caught Claire’s look.  Begging him to play along.  He realized her game.  God, she was so clever.  He stage whispered to her low and furious.  “Keep yer voice down.”

“No!  Why? Are you afraid these people will realize how you treat me? Hmm?”  

Jamie grabbed her wrist, and Claire twisted it, but didn’t try to break free. She leaned forward and whispered back, “Go up and order take away.  Doesn’t matter what just make sure you get a sample of everything. And salad dressings.  No drinks.  Be charming.”

He did as he was told.  The redhead was like ice now.  She put together the order.  Bagged it.  Took his money.  

He walked towards the door.  “Claire, come,” he said, as if calling a dog.  Claire stood and dragged her feet, head hung low.

“Grab my arm,” she whispered when they cleared the doorway.  So he did. They walked to the end of the yard, and turned the corner.  

“Keep it up,” she said, and they walked until they had to turn down the next little alley.

At the last minute, Claire turned, and looked back up the street.  

There she was.  

Watching.  Spying.  Until Claire left her field of vision.

“Co-ni-um.  Mac.  Mac-u…”  Jamie struggled with the Latin.

“Conium Maculatum.  Common name, Hemlock.  But that’s only in one of the salad dressings.”  

Heads bent together in the dimness of the morgue.  Dark and red curls swirled together as they poured over the toxicology report.  

Claire turned her head and found herself millimeters from the ocean depths of his eyes. His arm around the back of her chair.  His thigh butted up to hers. She pulled back.  “That would be what the first victim consumed. The second death was different. Poison, for sure, but that caused heart failure, which is the result of a different type of plant.”  

“Hemlock!”  Jamie was genuinely surprised.  “Holy shit.  I thought that was just the kind of stuff ye see in movies.”

Claire got up, and went over to one of the shelves by her desk.  She struggled with a large volume, and dropped it with great noise in front of Jamie.  

“What’s this?”  He eyed the tome speculatively.

“Just a hobby of mine.  Botany.  Medicinal botany, to be exact.”  Claire flipped to the section she wanted.  She showed it to Jamie.  “There’s quite a few that could case heart failure.  There has to be something else.”

She flipped a few pages in.  “Convallaria majalis would cause the same symptoms that the second man died of. ”


Claire laughed.  “Lily of the Valley.”

She felt excitement shimmy through her veins.  “I need to go back.”

Jamie was shaking his head before she finished speaking.  “Yer not a police officer.  Yer not trained for this.  I’ll find someone else.”  

“I can do it, Jamie.  I’ll just say that it wasn’t enough.  That you didn’t use enough.  That I need something stronger.”  She was warming to her idea. “You certainly can’t,” Claire reasoned.  “She would expect you to be dead.  At the very least she’ll be looking for your obituary.  I’m the one who needs to go back.”  Claire insisted.  “I need to go back and get another sample.”  

“You let a Medical Examiner go undercover with you?  What in hell were you thinking?”  

Chief Inspector John Grey was not impressed.  James Fraser was one of his best detectives, but he’d never been this unprofessional before.

“I was thinkin’ how to get in her pants, if I’m honest.”  Jamie shrugged.  “I mean, John, have ye seen her?  She’s -”

“Not my type,”  John interrupted.  He watched James smile at that.  

“I wanted to see her, so I used the opportunity to check out this place based on what the victims’ wife and girlfriend described.”   Jamie shrugged. “And now we need more samples. I canna go back, obviously.  So, she said she would.”

Chief Inspector Grey sat for a moment.  He thought through every possible scenario as if it were a chess game.  Every move, every mistake imaginable.  He had to admit, this was a good idea.  If they waited to build a portfolio for two other officers to go undercover, it would take weeks, risking the possibility of another death in the meantime.  

“Fine.  But I want to speak to her first,” John said.  And had to turn away from James’ brilliant smile.

When amber eyes met green, Claire almost bolted.  


It took everything she had to fight the wave the rolled through her brain and threatened to knock her off her feet.  This woman was a killer.  While her intentions were good, her methods were not.  Claire saw the flowers in the containers, and window boxes out front.  Every one of them poisonous. Poisonous vines.  The poisonous seeds of the flowers.  The poison of the leaves.  

In this quiet corner of London, Death was everywhere.

Claire knew Death well.  Personally.  Professionally.  

Green eyes flicked past her as she hesitated in the doorway.  She was looking for Jamie, Claire realized.  John said to face this head on.  Not to mince words or stay longer than she needed to.  He said to let innuendo take over, to say nothing that might be entrapment.  She approached the counter and said quietly, “I need a take out.”  

The green eyes roamed over her, probably looking for bruises.  Claire discretely moved her hair to cover her neck, and fussed with the scarf around her neck.  

She looked at Claire.  Nodded.  

She put the greens together silently, added proteins and extras.  “Does he like lemon?”

Claire shrugged.  She had to be careful.

The woman seemed to consider for a moment, then bent to her work choosing a squeeze bottle from behind the counter.  

Claire thought for a moment.  “Is that your name on the front?  How do you pronounce it?”

The green eyes flashed a suspicious look, then her brow cleared.  “Geillis.  And you?”

“Claire,” she responded.  She was nervous.  She could feel her smile tremble.  

The woman’s look softened as she snapped the lid on the take away.  Claire dug in her bag for her wallet.  Cash.  Jamie said cash only.  Her hands shook.

The red head placed the container in a bag and handed it over.  

“How much?”  Claire had to clear the lump in her throat.

“On the house,” Geillis said.  “Good luck.”

“I open my heart and send forth my energy of love and understanding to everyone who has made me suffer, to those who have destroyed much of my life and the lives of those I love. I know now that these people have themselves undergone a lot of suffering and that their hearts are overloaded with pain, anger, and hatred. […] I pray that they can be transformed to experience the joy of living, so that they will not continue to make themselves and others suffer. I see their suffering and do not want to hold any feelings of hatred or anger in myself toward them. I do not want them to suffer. I channel my energy of love and understanding to them and ask all my ancestors to help them.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, ‘The Five Earth Touchings’ ~

Prequel: Azriel-Centric Stories Set Before ACOTAR (ch. 4)

This is a collection of interconnected short stories about Azriel’s life before any of the events of ACOTAR through ACOWAR. 

Make sure to read Chapter 1, Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4.5, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Read the follow up fic, Shadows and Darkness: One and the Same


Time frame: 2 years before Rhys becomes High Lord

Summary: Rhys’s father sends Azriel to a village on the outskirts of the Night Court to investigate why three children have gone missing. Azriel normally does these kinds of missions alone, but this time he has some help. 

(Note: This is a VERY important chapter concerning the overarching narrative… very… important… chapter… Enjoy!) (Also, this is SO LONG. ALMOST 10K WORDS. PREPARE YOURSELF.)

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Signs as movie quotes
  • Aries: Sometimes I don't think people realize how lonely it is to be a kid. Like... you don't matter.
  • Taurus: Sweetheart, you can't buy the necessities of life with cookies.
  • Gemini: It's called a sense of humor - you should get one - they're nice.
  • Cancer: If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.
  • Leo: The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts. It never helps. You fight through that shit.
  • Virgo: You can't change who people are without destroying who they were.
  • Libra: If the sky were to suddenly open up... there would be no law... there would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories... the choices you've made and the people you've touched.
  • Scorpio: It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.
  • Sagittarius: Well, it's a crazy, fucked up world! And we're all just barely floating along, waiting for somebody that can walk on water.
  • Capricorn: You think you're free? I'm free! You don't know what freedom is! I'm free! I can breathe! And you - you're gonna go choke on your average fuckin' mediocre life!
  • Aquarius: One thousand years from now, there won't be any guys and there won't be any girls, just wankers. Sounds all right to me.
  • Pisces: The first time I ever saw a box jellyfish, I was twelve. Our father took us to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I never forgot what he said... That it was the most deadly creature on earth. To me it was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
This Is Us -Chapter 10

One evening, Claire arrived home after ten pm, an unusually late time for her. She’d texted him earlier to let him know she had an emergency surgery.

He watched from the living room as her keys fell from her hand onto the side table by the door. Her body utterly drained of energy.  She closed the door using her backside leaning against it after it closed.  Her coat still on, head hung low. She made no sound but looked utterly bereft.  

Wordless, he came to her, his eyes never leaving hers as he gently took the umbrella from her hand, then loosened the belt on her coat. He watched her face as he moved his arms behind her to ease it off her shoulders, and suddenly hers came instinctively up into him. His mind understood her actions were a response to his.

Disoriented at first, Jamie didn’t move. Did he mean to do that? After a pause, he decided that answer was very much yes and he pulled her into him harder. She fitted her head to his chest and wept quietly. Jamie held her, hoping his touch could provide some comfort.

With sudden insight he realized why she was always using her hands, always the one reaching out to offer a touch as a palliative. Those hands, small and strong, capable in ways so far beyond his ken spent all their working hours inflicting damage in the desperate hope of spurring the body toward eventual healing.

How hard must it be day in and day out to know, beyond any doubt, that your hands hurt people? Every. Single. Day.

Coming home, to her refuge how could he not have comprehended her need to touch in kindness and compassion? And if she needed to be able to give in that way, how did he miss that she also needed to receive the touch of another to heal herself as well? To be shown that someone understood that necessity? And he’d what? He mentally recoiled as he realized just what he had been thinking. He believed it to be an unfortunate habit of hers, an imposition.

Jamie’d been out of his depth since the moment he opened her letter. He’d thought by not reacting to her frequent touches that he was somehow being noble, drawing lines and boundaries for fear of — he bit back a snort– wee idiot! Fear of what? Claire? This woman who’d only ever wished good things for you? Who had only believed good things of you? In retrospect she’d asked so very little of him in return. In resisting her touches, he’d unconsciously rejected her. He cradled her tightly to him, trying to make up for it.

He felt Claire’s knees give way then and no power on earth could have made him let go of her just then. Jamie picked her up in his arms and walked her to the couch, sitting down with her in his lap.

“Shhh mo nighean donn, shh a graidh.” he murmured over and over.

No longer concerned about keeping physical distance, recognizing how essential a sense of connection was to her, he rocked her gently, whispering Gaelic words, prayers really, in her ear. He always found its rhythm appealing and calming. In all honestly, at that moment, he could use some soothing himself.  

Jamie pulled away a little wanting to look at her face, pulling her curls from her forehead to do so. The action reminiscent of the way he did the same with Faith, her hair the same color, the same texture and, just then, as precious in his hand. His eyes traveled over her face, the sadness and the pain written on every feature. He pressed his lips to her forehead.

He briefly switched to English.

“Do ye want to talk about it?” he whispered.

She made a soft little sound of distress that cut him to the bone. Her eyes closed, a tear racing down her cheek.

She forcefully shook her head no. He placed one hand behind her head and pulled her body gently against him again, stroking her back.

“It’s fine, Sassenach. I’m here, let it go, aye? Let it go.”

And Claire did, weeping a little harder, borrowing from the strength of him, tears falling more rapidly as she thought of how contrary the world was in which an act of anger sometimes caused irreparable harm but then small acts of kindness could start the process of healing those left in its wake.

He held her until Claire cried herself out. She must have grown quite heavy in his arms, his legs had probably fallen asleep. Claire tried to find the motivation to move. But he was so warm, he made her feel like nothing could harm her so long as he was with her. The beat of his heart in her ear soothed her own.

He kissed the side of her forehead, kept his lips pressed tight against her ear, every now and then she noticed the words and rhythm would change but it didn’t matter.

It was all the same thing really, the comfort of being held safely in the arms of someone who cared.

In the end she found she couldn’t move after all, and she allowed the gentle rocking of Jamie’s arms to lull her to sleep. She woke the next morning still dressed in scrubs in her own bed, Jamie long gone but the feel of him stayed with her for a long time after.

Small Talk

Happy Birthday @damselindistressmya - you wanted Office Party fic and this is what I came up with. Thank you for your honesty and your friendship.

S7 || Fluff || MSR || Teen 

Watching from a distance, nobody but Mulder would know how uncomfortable she is in the crowded room. Scully prides herself on it. While he lurks in a corner, all but concealed behind a pillar with a warm beer and a bowl of peanuts he swiped from one of the tables, she works the room, talking and nodding in a way that makes her hair catch the light as it just barely kisses the exposed swoop of her neck. She’s wearing a dress, fitted but not tight, with skinny straps that keep threatening to roll off her shoulders when someone presses past. She’s not carrying a weapon and she smiles widely when the man next to her says something, but the brightness of her teeth never reaches her eyes.

Mulder watches her shift her weight from foot to foot, focussing on the agitated circling of her ankle instead of the slimness of her leg vanishing seductively into a glossy stiletto pump. He watches her fingers flex against her wineglass, notes her flinch almost imperceptibly when one of her circle nudges her arm too familiarly. He sees the platters of canapes whisk by just out of reach, that her glass is almost empty, and he knows her patience will be wearing thin. 

It’s taken them seven years to even start to verbalise what they mean to each other, but he has been able to read her signs from almost the very beginning. Abandoning his beer and his hiding space, Mulder makes a pitstop or two and arrives at Scully’s side just as she empties her glass.

The man next to her, from Homicide he thinks, draws breath to offer her a refill but Mulder has already staked his claim, his finger light on the snowdrop skin inside her elbow, and his head bent in closer than is normal for anyone but them.

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I fucking cried watching the last clip, i cried when i watched sana doing her marghrib salah and the subbed text said that what the was muttering was “unaudible” while i KNOW what the words that were coming out of her mouth, i say to those words everyday, five times in one day, this is literally the first time when i’ve watched a western show that portray a muslim doing their prayer correctly, i fucking cried because seeing sana taking her wudhu, wriggling out of the crown trying not to touch a boy’s skin and her using the compass to find the qiblat

this is the first time a western show managed to portray something so simple for us muslims so accurately and i fucking cried


‘When we speak of listening with compassion, we usually think of listening to someone else. But we must also listen to the wounded child inside us. Sometimes the wounded child in us needs all our attention. That little child might emerge from the depths of your consciousness and ask for your attention. If you are mindful, you will hear his or her voice calling for help. At that moment, instead of paying attention to whatever is in front of you, go back and tenderly embrace the wounded child. You can talk directly to the child with the language of love, saying, “In the past, I left you alone. I went away from you. Now, I am very sorry. I am going to embrace you.” You can say, “Darling, I am here for you. I will take good care of you. I know you suffer much. I have been so busy. I have neglected you, and now I have learned a way to come back to you.” If necessary, you have to cry together with the child.” “Breathing in, I go back to my wounded child; breathing out I take good care of my wounded child.”

You have to talk to your inner child several times a day. Only then can healing take place. Embracing your child tenderly, you reassure him that you will never let him down again or leave him unattended. The little child has been left alone for so long. That is why you need to begin this practice right away. If you don’t do it now, when will you do it?

If you know how to go back to her and listen carefully every day for five or ten minutes, healing will take place. When you climb a beautiful mountain, invite your child within to climb with you. When you contemplate the sunset, invite her to enjoy it within you. If you do that for a few weeks or a few months, the wounded child in you will experience healing.

With practice, we can see that our wounded child is not only us. Our wounded child may represent several generations. Our mother may have suffered throughout her life. Our father may have suffered. Perhaps our parents weren’t able to look after the wounded child in themselves. So when we’re embracing the wounded child in us, we’re embracing all the wounded children of our past generations. This practice is not a practice for ourselves alone, but for numberless generations of ancestors and descendants.

Our ancestors may not have known how to care for their wounded child within, so they transmitted their wounded child to us. Our practice is to end this cycle. if we can heal our wounded child, we will not only liberate ourselves, but we will also help liberate whoever has hurt or abused us. The abuser may also have been the victim of abuse. There are people who have practiced with their inner child for a long time who have a lessening of their suffering and have experienced transformation. Their relationships with their family and friends have become much easier.

We suffer because we have not been touched by compassion and understanding. If we generate the energy of mindfulness, understanding, and compassion for our wounded child, we will suffer much less. When we generate mindfulness, compassion and understanding become possible, and we can allow people to love us. Before, we may have been suspicious of everything and everyone. Compassion helps us relate to others and restore communication.

The people around us, our family and friends, may also have a severely wounded child inside. If we’ve managed to help ourselves, we can also help them. When we’ve healed ourselves, our relationships with others become much easier. There’s more peace and more love in us.

Go back and take care of yourself. Your body needs you, your feelings need you, your perceptions need you. The wounded child in you needs you. Your suffering needs you to acknowledge it. Go home and be there for all these feelings. Practice mindful walking and mindful breathing. Do everything in mindfulness so you can really be there, so you can love.’

- Thich Nhat Hanh, Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child.

Chaos in the Pantheon (Part 4)

((A/N: Yay more writing! I found myself stricken with the writing bug out of nowhere today, and as @sarazzprime can attest I went to town despite having LOST A CHUNK OF MY INITIAL DRAFT *ahem*. But I’ve fixed the tags, hopefully. If you aren’t getting tagged, let me know, some tags aren’t working and I’m having to manually enter them each time because I’m difficult and stubborn.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes (Ares) x Reader [FINALLY]

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 3k 

Catch up!: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 ))

Steve hadn’t been wrong about Pegasus knowing the way, the creature beginning to move without being told as much. Pietro had been hesitant about letting you go, though Steve had reassured him it was necessary. You had a strong feeling Ares wasn’t the type to let a host of gods, goddesses, or anyone else for that matter to come traipsing into his palace.

But it felt nice to be moving on your own. You were tired, exhausted even, but this leg of the journey was yours to make. And it was reassuring to know that soon your father would be pulling in nets upon nets of fish and other marine life. You could see him smiling brightly, the ocean calmed as the water splashed against his weathered features. He was grinning like a madman knowing his family would be cared for.

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