a throw of the dice

I have now watched So Much Critical Role that I’m starting to notice everyone has their own styles of rollin’ dice and they’re all real cute

- Marisha sorta just drops hers but she lifts her hand way up in the air afterward like there’s RECOIL on that shit

- Sam leaves his hand up in the air too but it’s very Gilmore-esque. Quite elegant, 9/10 for style. “Ah yes, what is this thing that I rolled - ah, ‘tis garbage”

- Liam just tips his dice over like a cat knocking something off a shelf. Sometimes he does this sneaky lil finger twirl thing. tryin 2 be stealthy.

- Once in a while Laura holds dice in both hands. prayin to dice gods probably.

- Taliesin always shakes his dice back and forth a bunch of times - obviously one must warm the dice up before rolling if one wishes to guarantee a fuckton of nat 20s (Laura does this too, but Taliesin will do it for D A Y S)

- Travis has some nasty SPIN on that throw and sometimes he puts his SHOULDERS into it dude rolls dice like a MAN doin a SPORT and I love it

🌙 Daily Witch Tip🌙

If you want to start divination but you don’t have the funds to buy much, choose three rocks from nearby. A dark one, a light one and one that looks different. 

The dark rock is no. 

The light rock is yes. 

And the different rock is your base. 

Hold all three rocks and ask your question. (Yes or No question)

Throw/toss the rocks like you’re rolling dice. The rock closes to your base rock is your answer!

Todo has that white koi fish aesthetic going on,, it makes me fEEL things

390 Prompts!!!!

1. “A wedding?”
2. “After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”
3. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
4. “Are you drunk?”
5. “Are you hitting on her for me?”
6. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!”
7. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”
8. “Are you really taking his side against me?”
9. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
10. “Babe, you have a problem, please, let me help you.”
11. “Be my wife.”
12. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”
13. “BOOM! That oughta show you not to mess with me!”
14. “But the carnival is right down the street! Can we please, please go!?”
15. “Can I kiss you?”
16. “Come back to bed.”
17. “Come on, let’s throw the dice, see what happens.”
18. “Come over here and make me.”
19. “Come with me.”
20. “Could you be happy here with me?”
21. “Crocs? Who hurt you so much in this life?”
22. “Damn. You clean up good.”
23. “Delete that immediately.”
24. “Did I just say that out loud?”
25. “Did I stutter?”
26. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”
27. “Did you hear that?”
28. “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”
29. “Do you ever stop eating?”
30. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
31. “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”
32. Do you like me? Check yes or no.
33. “Do you need me to get anything from the store?”
34. “Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant?”
35. “Do you think she could have loved me?”
36. “Does he know about the baby?”
37. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
38. “Don’t say that. Not now.”
39. “Don’t say you love me.”
40. “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”
41. “Don’t you ever do that again!”
42. “Either ask her out or I will do it for you!”
43. “Excuse me, I’m terribly lost. Can you help me?”
44. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
45. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
46. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
47. “Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”
48. “Fuck…I feel I’ve been hit by a car.”
49. “Game’s over you son of a bitch! Tell me where she is!”
50. “Give me 5 bucks, I’ll explain later.”
51. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
52. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”
53. “Guess who’s going to be a father?”
54. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
55. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
56. “Have I ever lied to you?”
57. “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”
58. “Have you lost your damn mind!?”
59. “He’s missing, not dead.”
60. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
61. “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”
62. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
63. “His ego is so visible, I can almost watch it grow.”
64. “Hold me back!”
65. “Hold my hand dammit, we gotta make this look convincing!”
66. “How about we put the gun down and let’s talk about this?”
67. “How could anyone be that cruel?”
68. “How dare you!?”
69. “How long has it been?”
70. “I almost lost you.”
71. “I am not losing you again!”
72. “I beat you at Mario Kart and now you’re banishing me to the couch for the night?”
73. “I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”
74. “I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’”
75. “I can manage on my own.”
76. “I can’t… I can’t lose you.”
77. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
78. “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.”
79. “I can’t get you out of my head.”
80. “I can’t let you do that.”
81. “I can’t start over again.”
82. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
83. “I can’t swim!”
84. “I choose you.”
85. “I could never leave you, I love you too much!”
86. “I did a pregnancy test.”
87. “I didn’t ask for any of this!”
88. “I didn’t know you could cook.” “Oh, trust me I can’t.”
89. “I didn’t know you could sing.”
90. “I didn’t know you were so competitive.”
91. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”
92. “I didn’t think it was even possible for you to be so intelligent.”
93. “I don’t care what he said, it doesn’t mean jack squat.”
94. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
95. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
96. “I don’t snore, do I?” “Like a chainsaw.”
97. “I don’t want to have a baby.”
98. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
99. “I don’t want to let you down.”
100. “I got you a present.”
101. “I guess I was wrong about you. You’re not so bad after all.”
102. “I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
103. “I had to see you again.”
104. “I hate you!” “No you don’t.”
105. “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.”
106. “I just need you to do this one thing for me.”
107. “I just really need to have you here right now.”
108. “I just want this.”
109. “I just want to be alone right now.”
110. “I just wanted you to know that when I picture myself happy… it’s with you.”
111. “I know, but… I love him. You can’t give up on a person you love.”
112. "I know, but he’s your partner for this.”
113. “I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”
114. “I love you.” “I know.”
115. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!”
116. “I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
117. “I love you for you, don’t you dare think otherwise!”
118. “I love you more than anything in this world… which is why you have to stay here.”
119. “I love you, you asshole.”
120. “I made a mistake.”
121. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”
122. “I may despise you with the burning white hot intensity of a thousand suns, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
123. “I may have… ripped my pants.”
124. “I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!”
125. “I need you to forgive me.”
126. “I never believed in soulmates until I met you.”
127. “I never learned how to whistle.”
128. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt!”
129. “I saw you staring at each other, I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.”
130. "I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
131. “I swear if you weren’t so attractive, I’d have punched you in the face nine times by now.”
132. “I swear it was an accident.”
133. “I swear it was like that when I found it!”
134. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
135. "I think I’m in love with you and that scares me to death.”
136. “I think we need to talk.”
137. “I think we should have another.”
138. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
139. “I thought you were a dream come true.”
140. “I thought you were dead…”
141. “I trusted you!”
142. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.”
143. “I want my best friend back.”
144. “I want to go back to before….”
145. “I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”
146. “I wasn’t planning on asking you, but I’ve come to realize that life is short. Will you marry me?”
147. “I wish I could hate you.”
148. “I won’t give up if you won’t.”
149. “I won’t let you fall.”
150. “I-I can’t trust you anymore.”
151. “I’ll be right over.”
152. “I’ll sleep under the sheets, you sleep on top of them.”
153. "I’m flirting with you.”
154. “I’m freezing!”
155. “I’m laughing because you’re angry. I swear I didn’t do it!”
156. “I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”
157. “I’m not good enough for you.”
158. “I’m not happy here.”
159. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.”
160. “I’m not the only one who thinks that.”
161. “I’m only human!”
162. “I’m pregnant.”
163. “I’m sick of being USELESS.”
164. “I’m so happy you’re alive.”
165. “I’m so sorry! I will never doubt you again!”
166. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
167. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
168. “I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you anymore.”
169. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her.”
170. “I’m sorry, run that by me again.”
171. "I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
172. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”
173. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
174. “I’m up to the challenge.”
175. “I’m yours.”
176. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”
177. “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
178. “I’ve moved on.”
179. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… and it scares the shit out of me.”
180. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I can’t see you.”
181. “If he’s going to treat you like shit, I’m going to kick his ass.”
182. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
183. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
184. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”
185. “If my parents knew what I was doing, they’d kill me.”
186. “If this is love, love is easy.”
187. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
188. “If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t just lie and say it’s fine.”
189. “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”
190. “If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life.”
191. “IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME, I’M GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH.”
192. “If you walk out right now, it’s over for us.”
193. “If you walk out that door, you’re no longer one of us. You’ll be one of them and that means I’ll treat you like one of them.”
194. “Is… is that even possible? Like, can we do this?”
195. “Is… that my picture in your wallet/as your home screen?”
196. “Is it really you?”
197. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
198. “Is that a challenge?”
199. “Is that an apology?”
200. “Is that real?”
201. “Is that what I think it is?”
202. “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me to hate you?”
203. “Is there a problem?”
204. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”
205. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
206. “It could be worse.”
207. “It made a difference to me.”
208. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
209. “It was just a dream.”
210. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
211. “It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”
212. “It’s all your fault.”
213. “It’s been fun. We’ve had a good run, but you parked in my spot. I’m going to have to kill you now.”
214. “IT’S NOT COMING OFF!”
215. “It’s not what it looks like…”
216. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
217. “It’s okay to cry…”
218. “Just leave me ALONE.”
219. “Just talk to me!”
220. “Keep your head up.”
221. “Kiss me.”
222. “Let him go! It’s me you want.”
223. “Let me buy you a drink?”
224. “Let’s do something wild and crazy!”
225. “Look at me - just breathe, okay?”
226. “Look at that. I’ve never seen your face get so red.”
227. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”
228. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”
229. “Make a wish.”
230. “Marry me?”
231. “May I have this dance?”
232. “Meet me at midnight. Alone.”
233. “Meet me on the bridge in an hour.”
234. “Meet me on the roof in ten minutes.”
235. “Mind if I cut in?”
236. “My parents asked about you.”
237. “No! I’m tired of doing what you say!”
238. “No one needs to know.”
239. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
240. “None of this makes sense.”
241. “None of that matters now.”
242. “Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you.”
243. “Oh, my God! You’re in love with her!”
244. “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”
245. “Please don’t cry.”
246. “Please don’t do this.”
247. “Please, don’t give up on me.”
248. “Please, don’t leave.”
249. “Please listen to me-”
250. “Please say something.”
251. “Please, take me instead!”
252. “Promise me you won’t let anything happen to him.”
253. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
254. “Remember our first date? When you took me to Starbucks and it took me 15 minutes just to choose a flavour of Frappuccino? I was never sure about anything, never. But I was so fucking sure about you!”
255. “Run, and don’t ever look back.”
256. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”
257. “She’s missing, not dead.”
258. “Shit, are you bleeding?!”
259. “Shopping? Do I have to go?”
260. “Shut up and kiss me.”
261. “Since when do you drive a motorcycle?”
262. “So? It’s not your problem so butt out.”
263. “So, I found this waterfall…”
264. “So there was an accident…”
265. “Somebody’s in love!”
266. “Sorry, I thought I was alone…”
267. “Stop taking pictures! I’m fucking stuck. Be useful and help me!!”
268. “Stop talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound.”
269. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”
270. “Teach me how to play?”
271. “Tell me a secret.”
272. “Tell me again why I let you convince me that this was even remotely a good idea.”
273. “That came out wrong.”
274. “That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”
275. “That is not coming in this house!”
276. “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”
277. “The joke’s on them.”
278. “The paint’s supposed to go where?”
279. “The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it!”
280. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
281. “The three seconds rule doesn’t apply to sticky foods.”
282. “The way you flirt is shameful.”
283. “There are plenty of people out there who love you.” “Yeah, like who?” “Like me.”
284. “There’s no getting out of this. You ruined me.”
285. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
286. “Things don’t always turn out how they should.”
287. “This is… this is somewhere I never imagined I’d be.”
288. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
289. “This is so going on YouTube!”
290. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
291. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
292. “Time’s up!”
293. “Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!”
294. “W…Was that you making that noise?”
295. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
296. “Wait, do you two know each other?”
297. “Wake up! Please, please wake up.”
298. “Walk it off!”
299. “Wanna bet?”
300. "Wanna dance?”
301. “We could be amazing!”
302. “We could’ve had it all.”
303. “We have to pretend to be married.”
304. “We missed our chance.”
305. “We’ll finish it the same way we started it…together.”
306. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”
307. "Well….don’t keep me waiting”
308. “Well, this is awkward…”
309. “Well, this is where I live.”
310. “What are you afraid of?”
311. “What did I ever done to you?”
312. “What other hidden talents do you have?”
313. “What the hell are you doing here?! I told you I never wanted to see you again!”
314. “What the hell was that?!”
315. “What were you thinking?? Were you trying to get yourself killed?”
316. “When are you going to realize that I don’t care?”
317. “When I come back, that better be exactly where you found it!”
318. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
319. “Where did that cat come from?”
320. “Where did you find this?”
321. “Where did you learn to dance?”
322. “Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
323. “Who brought pot brownies to the bake sale?!”
324. “Who gave you that black eye?!”
325. “Who’s gonna stop me? You?”
326. “Why are you baking muffins at three in the morning?”
327. “Why are you covered in mud?”
328. “Why are you dressed like that?”
329. “Why are you lying?”
330. “Why are you up so early?”
331. “Why can’t they see that they’re meant for each other?”
332. “Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me?”
333. “Why choose me?”
334. “Why do I even bother?”
335. “Why don’t they just kiss already?”
336. “Why don’t you say that to my face?”
337. “Why wouldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
338. “Will you just shut up for a moment so I can say something nice to you!”
339. “Will you please just give me a hand?”
340. “You are nothing like them.”
341. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
342. “You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
343. “You braided his hair?”
344. “You broke what?!”
345. “You came back!”
346. “You can trust me.”
347. “You can’t just sit on the sidelines your whole life!”
348. “You can’t leave me in the dark. You have to tell me these things.”
349. "You can’t protect me.”
350. “You deserve so much better.”
351. “You did all of this for me?”
352. “You did this for me?”
353. “YOU DID WHAT?!”
354. “You didn’t tell me it was karaoke night…”
355. “You don’t have to stay.”
356. “You don’t know you the way I do.”
357. “You don’t need to protect me.”
358. “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
359. “You got her pregnant?! What were you thinking?”
360. “You had me at ‘free pizza!’”
361. “You have no idea what I’ve done for you.”
362. “You have the most amazing eyes.”
363. “You have to make a choice.”
364. “You have to remember!”
365. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
366. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
367. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”
368. “You know my name?”
369. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with him…”
370. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
371. “You lied to me!”
372. ″You look beautiful.”
373. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
374. “You need to leave. Right now.”
375. “You need to let her go.”
376. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
377. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”
378. “You say the nastiest things when you’re angry, so yes, I’m walking away from you now.”
379. “You shouldn’t have even been there!”
380. “You walked away. Not me.”
381. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
382. “You’ll be the death of me.”
383. “You’re hiding something from me.”
384. “You’re my one exception.”
385. “You’re not alone.”
386. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
387. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”
388. “You’re too good for me.”
389. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
390. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked mine.”

We are the creators of our own reality. Sometimes we purposely forget this and we certainly have fun doing it. We want something different so we pretend to toss a set of dice and throw a party with our name on it. And there truly is nothing wrong with this. It is the game of life. We want to have fun, the point is to live. Imagine if we always knew we were in control. How dull would that be?
Talks Machina Highlights: Episode 97
  • Paper pre-stream reads “Easter Egg: Brian Wayne Foster’s home address is inscribed on the set somewhere.”
  • Brian reveals that he’s wearing the shirt with the cross-eyed picture of him that Sam was wearing in the last episode.
  • There is a betta fish on set, and as soon as they zoom in on it, Marisha’s name-card pops up. Brian: “This is a betta fish. The alpha fish we keep behind a paywall.”
  • Keyleth now holds the record for most damage dealt in a single turn (690) and the most damage taken in a single blow (363).
  • Matt kinda hoped that Vex would revive Keyleth and just be like “tell no one this happened.” Everyone adored everything about that moment.
  • Asked about their characters basically becoming demi-gods at this point, Taliesin: “I’m feeling smug about it.” Sam points out that most of VM isn’t particularly mature, so it’s a little worrying that they’re gaining this much power. Matt; “Eh, fortune favors the bold. It’s fine.”
  • Matt hasn’t had a campaign get to the upper levels like this before, so he’s really excited to try some new things in the coming arc. Taliesin has never played at such high levels before, or even heard of someone playing at such high levels.
  • Taliesin figures the most Percy way for Percy to die would be to go into a bar, attempt to threaten everyone, and have everyone turn on him. Sam on the most Taryon way for Taryon to die: pre-Vox Machina, he would go off on a paid hunt and he’d somehow still lose.
  • Brief digression about how to play out death by autoerotic asphyxiation in D&D. As you do.
  • Matt definitely shied away from having players “roll for baby” over the break, since he thought that definitely wasn’t a fair thing to throw at a player based on a dice roll. (“…unless you’re Scanlan”) Matt also mentions that Vax and Keyleth have had conversations about how they’re "probably for the most part an asexual relationship.”
  • Taliesin expands a bit on the fancy ball at Whitestone: “It’s basically a Medieval Times version of Santa’s Village.” Brian: “What would Percy wear to that?” Taliesin: “Cowboy boots and a smile.”
  • Taliesin mentions that Percy and Cassandra are starting to be a little sillier around each other now, trying to remind themselves that it’s all over. The thing they have most in common that VM doesn’t share is being the product of a legacy and learning to find their own way within that legacy. 
  • Taliesin has already started a playlist for his character in the next campaign.
  • Matt is gonna start everyone in the next campaign halfway through level 2 so they get to play with their characters a bit before deciding which archetype to go for.
  • Sam has a brief rant about how many planes there are in D&D. “Let’s streamline. Let’s streamline.” Matt: “Sam, I am so excited for the RPG you’re releasing next year.” Sam: “The Three Places.”
  • Matt wasn’t expecting the Shadowfell reveal to come so soon. There was gonna be another reveal down the road that might still play out in the game. Elements of the story may have been accelerated as a result of that bit of player ingenuity.
  • Taliesin’s character was eaten and there was a near-TPK in the Shadowfell the last time a campaign he played in went there. (He and the other dead players had to go back in playing as the mercenaries sent to retrieve their bodies.)
  • Keyleth’s natural 20 when touching the orb back in episode 34 was sort of an example of failure by success, in that it delayed the Shadowfell reveal considerably. At that time, though, she could’ve died from the damage it dealt, or gone unconscious and bled out on the other side. If she had made it through, she wouldn’t have had Plane Shift and would’ve had to find a way back, which would’ve started the Shadowfell stuff early. So they would’ve had to work out their priorities given that the Chroma Conclave attacked shortly thereafter.
  • Matt thought of the scry (reverse-whisper) as a successful test run for maybe pulling out most of the party and isolating players again in the future.
  • Sam talks a bit about how Matt takes the “cartoonish backstories” they make up and turns them into a coherent narrative.
  • They were at Matt’s house digging through his minis trying to figure out where the story was gonna go next. (Brian calls out Matt’s impressive mini-painting skills.)
  • The silencer is a ten-foot bubble of Silence spell that follows Percy around: downside is he can’t hear or say anything while he’s taking those shots. Taliesin is very excited for those potential downsides.
  • Sam had no warning about the kidnapping; he found out when the rest of us did. When she handed Taryon a cream puff, Matt secretly rolled a constitution saving throw for him—it was essentially a delayed Sleep spell.
  • Percy’s chilled out a bit over his anger at Scanlan during the past year.
  • Tary’s started to learn his limitations over the past year—he’s aware of how strong he can be as part of a team, but hasn’t really ventured out on his own yet and is worried about how much of a crutch the money has been for him.

Talks Machine in the Dark:

  • Matt talks about some of the weird and wacky dragons out there in the expanded D&D literature. Sam: “By the way, in my RPG, there’s only one kind of dragon.” Matt really enjoys creating new creatures, so he’s been veering away from the books a little more often.
  • Someone suggests that Tary could multiclass into bard. Sam hadn’t thought about that. Matt points out that Doty’s the one writing the book, so maybe Doty should become a bard. Sam: “Can Doty be a bard?” Matt: “No.”
  • If Percy had the power, would he bring back his dead family? If he thought the consequences would be minimal, sure, but he also has a respect for death. Every time they’ve managed to bring someone back, it was the D&D equivalent of a crash cart, within 24 hours. Percy doesn’t even know where his family’s bodies are. Matt, grinning: “I do.”
  • Matt points out that this is part of why Keyleth is so frightened of higher-level resurrection spells: how do you choose who you can bring back? What gives you that right? What are the moral implications? He also brings back Kerrek’s probing questions about resurrection. Taliesin sums it up beautifully: “It’s dark and twisted and strange once you start pulling it apart.”
  • The hardest character death for Matt was Pike’s death back in the home game—it was the first time for a lot of the players to realize that they’d spent a year and a half with this character and she could still be gone like that. Apparently Ashley came home at 3AM distraught and tried explaining the whole thing to Brian, who knew nothing about D&D at the time and was a little confused. “…you died? At Travis and Laura’s?”
  • Doty can speak primarily because it’s funny, and also because Sam wanted to give Matt something more to do when he plays Doty. There was a lot of discussion over which word it would be. Sam: “It could’ve been Hodor.”
  • Someone asked whether another Battle Royale will come up, and Matt thinks probably before too long, next time they have players away or just need a week off.
Dice Divination

How To

Draw a circle 7 inches in diameter on a piece of paper/card. Gently blow onto three dice while you think of your question shake the dice and throw them into the circle. Add up all the numbers on the dice

Superstition says to never cast the dice more than three times on the same day, and to never cast them on a Monday

Meanings

3 Sudden changes, but good ones
4 expect arguments or disagreements
5 What you now desire will happen. A wish come true
6 A possible financial loss
7 you may be presented with a difficult matter/problem to solve
8 not everyone will support you
9 A marriage or new partnership ahead
10 Birth of a baby or a new project
11 A parting with someone, but only temporary
12 An important message in he form of a letter, text, or email
13 Sorrow an loss, followed by success
14 Help from a good friend or family member
15 Wait before committing yourself to something
16 A good journey, holiday or trip
17 A quick change of plans is ahead for you
18 Good fortune is on the way

If any die fall outside of the circle

1 Difficulties or upset
2 Arguments or disagreements
3 luck or a wish come true
Any dice on the floor Problems, worry or annoyance very soon

20 is always possible!

So the group is in a tavern and was attacked there. After killing all attackers except one the remaining attacker flees.

Bloodrager: “I run after him and attack him.”

DM: “You have the same movement, so you can only follow but won’t get near enough to attack.”

Bloodrager: “Fine, I throw my spear at him.” (Carries a greataxe at the moment)

DM: “So you drop the axe? Fine roll—”

Bloodrager: “No! We’re in a Pirate City it’s gonna get stolen! ….I throw the greataxe at him!”

Rogue: “Just leave him, it won’t work anyway with all those penalties you get for throwing that thing.”

Bloodrager: “20 is always possible!!” (His tag phrase) *mumbles* “Come on, daddy needs new shoes…” (He always mumbles that when trying to throw a nat 20)

He rolls, the dice jumps over the table nearly tipping over a glass. It’s a natural 20. The DM just stares at the dice while the Bloodrager cheeres. The Rogue leaves the room and isn’t seen again that evening.

779 Writing Prompts

So I put a couple of lists together. Sorry if there’s repeats

1. “A wedding?”
2. “After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”
3. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
4. “Are you drunk?”
5. “Are you hitting on her for me?”
6. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!”
7. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”
8. “Are you really taking his side against me?”
9. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
10. “Babe, you have a problem, please, let me help you.”
11. “Be my wife.”
12. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”
13. “BOOM! That oughta show you not to mess with me!”
14. “But the carnival is right down the street! Can we please, please go!?”
15. “Can I kiss you?”
16. “Come back to bed.”
17. “Come on, let’s throw the dice, see what happens.”
18. “Come over here and make me.”
19. “Come with me.”
20. "Could you be happy here with me?”
21. “Crocs? Who hurt you so much in this life?”
22. “Damn. You clean up good.”
23. “Delete that immediately.”
24. “Did I just say that out loud?”
25. “Did I stutter?”
26. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”
27. “Did you hear that?”
28. “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”
29. “Do you ever stop eating?”
30. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
31. “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”
32. "Do you like me? Check yes or no.”
33. “Do you need me to get anything from the store?”
34. “Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant?”
35. “Do you think she could have loved me?”
36. “Does he know about the baby?”
37. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
38. “Don’t say that. Not now.”
39. “Don’t say you love me.”
40. “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”
41. “Don’t you ever do that again!”
42. “Either ask her out or I will do it for you!”
43. “Excuse me, I’m terribly lost. Can you help me?”
44. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
45. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
46. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
47. “Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”
48. “Fuck…I feel I’ve been hit by a car.”
49. “Game’s over you son of a bitch! Tell me where she is!”
50. “Give me 5 bucks, I’ll explain later.”
51. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
52. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”
53. “Guess who’s going to be a father?”
54. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
55. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
56. “Have I ever lied to you?”
57. "Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”
58. “Have you lost your damn mind!?”
59. “He’s missing, not dead.”
60. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
61. “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”
62. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
63. “His ego is so visible, I can almost watch it grow.”
64. “Hold me back!”
65. "Hold my hand dammit, we gotta make this look convincing!”
66. "How about we put the gun down and let’s talk about this?”
67. "How could anyone be that cruel?”
68. "How dare you!?”
69. "How long has it been?”
70. "I almost lost you.”
71. "I am not losing you again!”
72. "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you’re banishing me to the couch for the night?”
73. "I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”
74. "I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’”
75. "I can manage on my own.”
76. "I can’t… I can’t lose you.”
77. "I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
78. "I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.”
79. "I can’t get you out of my head.”
80. "I can’t let you do that.”
81. "I can’t start over again.”
82. "I can’t stop thinking about you.”
83. "I can’t swim!”
84. "I choose you.”
85. "I could never leave you, I love you too much!”
86. "I did a pregnancy test.”
87. "I didn’t ask for any of this!”
88. "I didn’t know you could cook.” “Oh, trust me I can’t.”
89. "I didn’t know you could sing.”
90. "I didn’t know you were so competitive.”
91. "I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”
92. "I didn’t think it was even possible for you to be so intelligent.”
93. "I don’t care what he said, it doesn’t mean jack squat.”
94. "I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
95. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
96. “I don’t snore, do I?” “Like a chainsaw.”
97. “I don’t want to have a baby.”
98. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
99. “I don’t want to let you down.”
100. “I got you a present.”
101. “I guess I was wrong about you. You’re not so bad after all.”
102. “I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
103. “I had to see you again.”
104. “I hate you!” “No you don’t.”
105. “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.”
106. “I just need you to do this one thing for me.”
107. “I just really need to have you here right now.”
108. “I just want this.”
109. “I just want to be alone right now.”
110. “I just wanted you to know that when I picture myself happy… it’s with you.”
111. “I know, but… I love him. You can’t give up on a person you love.”
112. "I know, but he’s your partner for this.”
113. “I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”
114. “I love you.” “I know.”
115. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!”
116. “I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
117. “I love you for you, don’t you dare think otherwise!”
118. “I love you more than anything in this world… which is why you have to stay here.”
119. “I love you, you asshole.”
120. “I made a mistake.”
121. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”
122. “I may despise you with the burning white hot intensity of a thousand suns, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
123. “I may have… ripped my pants.”
124. “I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!”
125. “I need you to forgive me.”
126. “I never believed in soulmates until I met you.”
127. “I never learned how to whistle.”
128. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt!”
129. “I saw you staring at each other, I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.”
130. "I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
131. “I swear if you weren’t so attractive, I’d have punched you in the face nine times by now.”
132. “I swear it was an accident.”
133. “I swear it was like that when I found it!”
134. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
135. "I think I’m in love with you and that scares me to death.”
136. “I think we need to talk.”
137. “I think we should have another.”
138. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
139. “I thought you were a dream come true.”
140. “I thought you were dead…”
141. “I trusted you!”
142. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.”
143. “I want my best friend back.”
144. “I want to go back to before….”
145. “I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”
146. “I wasn’t planning on asking you, but I’ve come to realize that life is short. Will you marry me?”
147. “I wish I could hate you.”
148. “I won’t give up if you won’t.”
149. “I won’t let you fall.”
150. “I-I can’t trust you anymore.”
151. “I’ll be right over.”
152. “I’ll sleep under the sheets, you sleep on top of them.”
153. "I’m flirting with you.”
154. “I’m freezing!”
155. “I’m laughing because you’re angry. I swear I didn’t do it!”
156. “I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”
157. “I’m not good enough for you.”
158. “I’m not happy here.”
159. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.”
160. “I’m not the only one who thinks that.”
161. “I’m only human!”
162. “I’m pregnant.”
163. “I’m sick of being USELESS.”
164. “I’m so happy you’re alive.”
165. “I’m so sorry! I will never doubt you again!”
166. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
167. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
168. “I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you anymore.”
169. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her.”
170. “I’m sorry, run that by me again.”
171. "I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
172. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”
173. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
174. “I’m up to the challenge.”
175. “I’m yours.”
176. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”
177. “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
178. “I’ve moved on.”
179. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… and it scares the shit out of me.”
180. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I can’t see you.”
181. “If he’s going to treat you like shit, I’m going to kick his ass.”
182. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
183. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
184. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”
185. “If my parents knew what I was doing, they’d kill me.”
186. “If this is love, love is easy.”
187. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
188. “If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t just lie and say it’s fine.”
189. “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”
190. “If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life.”
191. “IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME, I’M GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH.”
192. “If you walk out right now, it’s over for us.”
193. “If you walk out that door, you’re no longer one of us. You’ll be one of them and that means I’ll treat you like one of them.”
194. “Is… is that even possible? Like, can we do this?”
195. “Is… that my picture in your wallet/as your home screen?”
196. “Is it really you?”
197. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
198. “Is that a challenge?”
199. “Is that an apology?”
200. “Is that real?”
201. “Is that what I think it is?”
202. “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me to hate you?”
203. “Is there a problem?”
204. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”
205. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
206. “It could be worse.”
207. “It made a difference to me.”
208. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
209. “It was just a dream.”
210. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
211. “It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”
212. “It’s all your fault.”
213. “It’s been fun. We’ve had a good run, but you parked in my spot. I’m going to have to kill you now.”
214. “IT’S NOT COMING OFF!”
215. “It’s not what it looks like…”
216. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
217. “It’s okay to cry…”
218. “Just leave me ALONE.”
219. “Just talk to me!”
220. “Keep your head up.”
221. “Kiss me.”
222. “Let him go! It’s me you want.”
223. “Let me buy you a drink?”
224. “Let’s do something wild and crazy!”
225. “Look at me - just breathe, okay?”
226. “Look at that. I’ve never seen your face get so red.”
227. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”
228. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”
229. “Make a wish.”
230. “Marry me?”
231. “May I have this dance?”
232. “Meet me at midnight. Alone.”
233. “Meet me on the bridge in an hour.”
234. “Meet me on the roof in ten minutes.”
235. “Mind if I cut in?”
236. "My parents asked about you.”
237. “No! I’m tired of doing what you say!”
238. “No one needs to know.”
239. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
240. “None of this makes sense.”
241. “None of that matters now.”
242. “Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you.”
243. “Oh, my God! You’re in love with her!”
244. “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”
245. “Please don’t cry.”
246. “Please don’t do this.”
247. “Please, don’t give up on me.”
248. “Please, don’t leave.”
249. “Please listen to me-”
250. “Please say something.”
251. “Please, take me instead!”
252. “Promise me you won’t let anything happen to him.”
253. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
254. “Remember our first date? When you took me to Starbucks and it took me 15 minutes just to choose a flavour of Frappuccino? I was never sure about anything, never. But I was so fucking sure about you!”
255. “Run, and don’t ever look back.”
256. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”
257. “She’s missing, not dead.”
258. “Shit, are you bleeding?!”
259. “Shopping? Do I have to go?”
260. “Shut up and kiss me.”
261. “Since when do you drive a motorcycle?”
262. “So? It’s not your problem so butt out.”
263. “So, I found this waterfall…”
264. “So there was an accident…”
265. “Somebody’s in love!”
266. “Sorry, I thought I was alone…”
267. “Stop taking pictures! I’m fucking stuck. Be useful and help me!!”
268. “Stop talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound.”
269. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”
270. “Teach me how to play?”
271. “Tell me a secret.”
272. “Tell me again why I let you convince me that this was even remotely a good idea.”
273. “That came out wrong.”
274. “That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”
275. “That is not coming in this house!”
276. “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”
277. “The joke’s on them.”
278. “The paint’s supposed to go where?”
279. “The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it!”
280. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
281. “The three seconds rule doesn’t apply to sticky foods.”
282. “The way you flirt is shameful.”
283. “There are plenty of people out there who love you.” “Yeah, like who?” “Like me.”
284. “There’s no getting out of this. You ruined me.”
285. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
286. “Things don’t always turn out how they should.”
287. “This is… this is somewhere I never imagined I’d be.”
288. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
289. “This is so going on YouTube!”
290. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
291. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
292. “Time’s up!”
293. “Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!”
294. “W…Was that you making that noise?”
295. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
296. “Wait, do you two know each other?”
297. “Wake up! Please, please wake up.”
298. “Walk it off!”
299. “Wanna bet?”
300. "Wanna dance?”
301. “We could be amazing!”
302. “We could’ve had it all.”
303. “We have to pretend to be married.”
304. “We missed our chance.”
305. “We’ll finish it the same way we started it…together.”
306. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”
307. "Well….don’t keep me waiting”
308. “Well, this is awkward…”
309. “Well, this is where I live.”
310. “What are you afraid of?”
311. “What did I ever done to you?”
312. “What other hidden talents do you have?”
313. “What the hell are you doing here?! I told you I never wanted to see you again!”
314. “What the hell was that?!”
315. “What were you thinking?? Were you trying to get yourself killed?”
316. “When are you going to realize that I don’t care?”
317. “When I come back, that better be exactly where you found it!”
318. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
319. “Where did that cat come from?”
320. “Where did you find this?”
321. “Where did you learn to dance?”
322. “Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
323. “Who brought pot brownies to the bake sale?!”
324. “Who gave you that black eye?!”
325. “Who’s gonna stop me? You?”
326. “Why are you baking muffins at three in the morning?”
327. “Why are you covered in mud?”
328. “Why are you dressed like that?”
329. “Why are you lying?”
330. “Why are you up so early?”
331. “Why can’t they see that they’re meant for each other?”
332. “Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me?”
333. “Why choose me?”
334. “Why do I even bother?”
335. “Why don’t they just kiss already?”
336. “Why don’t you say that to my face?”
3337. “Why wouldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
338. “Will you just shut up for a moment so I can say something nice to you!”
339. “Will you please just give me a hand?”
340. "You are nothing like them.”
341. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
342. “You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
343. “You braided his hair?”
344. “You broke what?!”
345. “You came back!”
346. “You can trust me.”
347. “You can’t just sit on the sidelines your whole life!”
348. “You can’t leave me in the dark. You have to tell me these things.”
349. "You can’t protect me.”
350. “You deserve so much better.”
351. “You did all of this for me?”
352. “You did this for me?”
353. “YOU DID WHAT?!”
354. “You didn’t tell me it was karaoke night…”
355. “You don’t have to stay.”
356. “You don’t know you the way I do.”
357. “You don’t need to protect me.”
358. “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
359. “You got her pregnant?! What were you thinking?”
360. “You had me at ‘free pizza!’”
361. “You have no idea what I’ve done for you.”
362. “You have the most amazing eyes.”
363. “You have to make a choice.”
364. “You have to remember!”
365. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
366. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
367. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”
368. “You know my name?”
369. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with him…”
370. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
371. “You lied to me!”
372. ″You look beautiful.”
373. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
374. “You need to leave. Right now.”
375. “You need to let her go.”
376. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
377. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”
378. “You say the nastiest things when you’re angry, so yes, I’m walking away from you now.”
379. “You shouldn’t have even been there!”
380. “You walked away. Not me.”
381. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
382. “You’ll be the death of me.”
383. “You’re hiding something from me.”
384. “You’re my one exception.”
385. “You’re not alone.”
386. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
387. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”
388. “You’re too good for me.”
389. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
390. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked mine”
391. “We were all given assigned seats on our bus because shit went down too many times and now you’re my seat buddy and I don’t want the rest of the year to be awkward”
392.“I always see you in the mall I work at and you always look upset so I made you some cookies now cheer up, Mr. Grumpypants”
393.“Hey we kissed once in kindergarten but I haven’t seen you since and I couldn’t remember why you were so familiar”
394. “It’s 3am and you’re the only person in McDonald’s right now and why do I have to work the night shift”
395. “My friend is out of town and I’m supposed to be taking care of his pet fish but it died and you work at the pet store help me find one that looks the same so he won’t notice"
396. “We’re sitting in a food court and I can see you staring at me so what’s your fucking deal- wait are you drawing me?”
397. “We’re always both in the apartments’ fitness center at 3 am”
398. “I drive to school and you walk and I drive past you everyday and it’s below freezing and you’re still walking please just get in the damn car I’ll drive you”
399. “You’ve walked past the bakery I work at and stared longingly at one of the pies at least 4 times today I’ll buy it for you if you just stop”
400. “I’m not actually the person you were set up on a blind date with but I was eating alone and you asked if I was someone else and wow you’re cute so of course I said yes and now you think my name is something it isn't”
401. “My destination was actually a few blocks back but you are the most interesting uber driver I’ve had so I changed it to spend more time with you but I seriously do need to be somewhere else so can you turn around”
402. “You parked in the parking space I always use so I wrote a note and put it on your car and you put one on mine the next day and now we have been writing notes for over a week just tell me your phone number to make this easier”
403. “People used to tell us we should date and now we graduate in like two weeks and I am starting to agree with them so can I have your number before I never see you again”
404. “We both came here to buy the same movie but there is only one dvd left let’s split the cost and watch it together I have popcorn at home”
405. “I took advice from my friend and pretended to trip in front of you to get your attention except I fell harder than I thought and now my arm is broken can you drive me to the doctor please”
406. “We are both too short to see well at this concert so how about we alternate sitting on each other’s shoulders, we can switch every song or something”
407. “My friend bet me 20 bucks that I wouldn’t walk up to a random underclassman and ask them to senior prom and I’m about to be 20 dollars richer and, no, that doesn’t invalidate the question, you’re actually really cute”
408. “Somehow every time I have a dentist appointment you do too and you always sit next to me in the waiting room and ask me ‘what are you in for’ as if we are in prison and this has been happening for almost two years who are you”
409. “I play the guitar on a street corner sometimes for some extra cash and you usually give me a dollar or two but today you brought a violin and joined in? And we made almost three times what I usually do holy shit you’re talented”
410. “I’ve worked at this dollar store for 3 years and you are the first person I’ve ever had to kick out, what are you, fourteen?”
411. “Do you want me to leave?”
412. “You are not going without me.”
413. “I can’t believe you!”
414. “I swear it won’t happen again.”
415. "What did you say?”
416. "I’m not jealous.”
417. "You’re jealous, aren’t you?”
418. "We can’t keep doing this.”
419. "Isn’t this amazing?”
420. "I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
421. "Stay the night. Please.”
422. "You can’t die. Please don’t die.”
423. "Run away with me.”
424. "You did WHAT?”
425. "Quit whining.”
426. "Get outta my sight!”
427. "Why are you so annoying?”
428. "Were you ever going to tell me?”
429. "Never in a million years.”
430. "Don’t ask me that…”
431. "I might have had a few shots.”
432. "What’s with the box?”
433. "W- What are you doing?”
434. "Say it!”
435. "I could kiss you right now!”
436. "Are you done with that?”
437. "What’s going on here?”
438. "Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
439. "It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”
440. "Did you do this on purpose?!”
441. "Kiss me.”
442. "Are you still awake..?”
443. "Excuse you?”
444. "This is all your fault!”
445. "Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”
446. "I shouldn’t be in love with you!”
447. "It’s not fair!”
448. "I could kill you right now!”
449. "Knock it off!”
450. "Screw you!”
451. "I can’t be in love with you!”
452. "Make me.”
453. "Don’t tempt me.”
454. "I hate you.”
455. "You are infuriating!”
456. "Just shut up already.”
457. "That doesn’t even make sense.”
458. "Just admit I’m right.”
459. "Just admit you’re wrong.”
460. "You are being ridiculous!”
461. "That’s irrational.”
462. "Listen to me!”
463. "That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
464. "Don’t yell at me.”
465. "That’s it. End of discussion.”
466. "I don’t believe you.”
467. "You shouldn’t have said that.”
468. "Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”
469. "How dare you?”
470. "I dare you!”
471. "It’s you, it’s always been you.”
472. "Well this is awkward…”
473. "Just pretend to be my date”.
474. "Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”
475. "You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”
476. "When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
477. "I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”
478. "You know we’re supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”
479. "Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
480. "I’m not going to apologize for this. Not anymore.”
481. "That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”
482. "Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”
483. "You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”
484. "It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
485. "This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“
486. "It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”
487. "It’s midnight, what do you want?”
488. "I think I know how to use a bed.”
489. "I have something to tell you…”
490. "I think I’m pregnant.”
491. "No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”
492. "Your hair is so soft…”
493. "You’re so cute when you pout like that!”
494. "Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”
495. "I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”
496. "What, does that feel good?”
497. "Are you wearing my shirt?”
498. "You are ridiculously comfortable…”
499. "I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”
500. "You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”
501. "You’re beautiful, you know that?”
502. "Aren’t they beautiful?”
503. "These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”
504. "Shooting star, make a wish.”
505. "It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”
506. "Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”
507. "Wow, you’re hot.”
508. "Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”
509. "Take off your clothes.”
510. "Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”
511. "Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”
512. "After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”
513. "Are you drunk?”
514. "Are you hitting on her for me?”
515. "Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!”
516. "Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”
517. "Are you really taking his side against me?”
518. "At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
519. "Come over here and make me.”
520. "Come with me.”
521. "Could you be happy here with me?”
522. "Can I kiss you?”
523. "Come back to bed.”
524. "Be my wife.”
525. "Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”
526. "Damn. You clean up good.”
527. "Did I just say that out loud?”
528. "Did I stutter?”
529. "Did you enjoy yourself last night?”
530. "Did you hear that?”
531. "Do you ever think we should just stop this?”
532. "Don’t say that. Not now.”
533. "Do you think she could have loved me?”
534. "Don’t say you love me.”
535. "Don’t you ever do that again!”
536. "Either ask her out or I will do it for you!”
537. "Excuse me, I’m terribly lost. Can you help me?”
538. "Everyone deserves a second chance.”
539. "Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
540. "For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
541. "Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”
542. "Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
543. "Go then, leave! See if I care!”
544. "H-How long have you been standing there?”
545. "Have I ever lied to you?”
546. "Have you lost your damn mind?”
547. "Hey, have you seen the…? Oh…”
548. "Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
549. "His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”
550. "Hold me back!”
551. "How dare you?”
552. "How could anyone be that cruel?”
553. "How long has it been?”
554. "I almost lost you!”
555. "I am not losing you again!”
556. "I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”
557. "I can manage on my own.”
558. "I can’t… I can’t lose you.”
559. "I can’t get you out of my head.”
560. "I can’t let you do that.”
561. "I can’t start over again.”
562. "I can’t stop thinking about you.”
563. "I choose you!”
564. "I could never leave you, I love you too much!”
565. "I didn’t ask for any of this!”
566. "I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”
567. "I don’t care what he said, it doesn’t mean jack squat.”
568. "I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
569. "I don’t know why I’m crying.”
570. "I didn’t want to hurt you.”
571. "I don’t want to let you down.”
572. "I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
573. "I had to see you again.”
574. "I hate you!” “No, you don’t.”
575. "I just need you to do this one thing for me.”
576. "I just really need to have you here right now.”
577. "I just want this.”
578. "I just want to be alone right now.”
579. "I just wanted you to know that when I picture myself happy… It’s with you.”
580. "I know, but I love him… You can’t give up on someone you love.”
581. "I love you.” “I know.”
582. "I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!”
583. "I love you for you! Don’t you dare think otherwise!”
584. "I love you more than anything in this world… which is why you have to stay here.”
585. "I made a mistake.”
586. "I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”
587. "I need you to forgive me.”
588. "I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
589. "I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
590. "I think I’m in love with you and that scares me to death.”
591. "I think we need to talk.”
592. "I thought you were dead…”
593. "I trusted you!”
594. "I waited and waited, but you never came back!”
595. "I wasn’t planning on asking you, but I’ve come to realize that life is short. Will you marry me?”
596. "I won’t give up if you won’t.”
597. "I-I can’t trust you anymore…”
598. "I’ll be right over.”
599. "I’m flirting with you.”
600. "I’m not good enough for you.”
601. "I’m not the only one who thinks that.”
602. "I’m sick of being USELESS.”
603. "I’m so happy you’re alive!”
604. "I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
605. "I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
606. "I’m sorry, run that by me again.”
607. "I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
608. "I’m tired of being your secret.”
609. "I’m up to the challenge.”
610. "I’m yours.”
611. "I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since I met you.”
612. "I’ve moved on.”
613. "I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… and it scares the shit out of me.”
614. "If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
615. "If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”
616. "If you die, I’m gonna kill you!”
617. "If you keep looking at me like that, we won’t make it to the bed.”
618. "If you walk out right now, it’s over for us.”
619. "Is it really you?”
620. "Is that a challenge?”
621. "Is that an apology?”
622. "Is there a problem?”
623. "Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”
624. "Is there something you want to tell me?”
625. "It could be worse.”
626. "It made a difference to me.”
627. "It was just a dream.”
628. "It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
629. "It’s all my fault.”
630. "It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
631. "It’s okay to cry…”
632. "Just leave me ALONE.”
633. "Just talk to me.”
634. "Kiss me.”
635. "Let me buy you a drink?”
636. "Look at me – just breathe, okay?”
637. "Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”
638. "May I have this dance?”
639. "Meet me at midnight. Alone.”
640. "Meet me on the bridge in an hour.”
641. "No one needs to know.”
642. "No one will ever hurt you again.”
643. "None of that matters now.”
644. "Oh, my God! You’re in love with her!”
645. "Please don’t cry.”
646. "Please don’t do this.”
647. "Please don’t leave…”
648. "Please listen to me…”
649. "Please say something…”
650. "Promise me you won’t let anything happen to him.”
651. "Promise me you’ll stay.”
652. "Shit, are you bleeding?”
653. "Shut up and kiss me?”
654. "Somebody’s in love!”
655. "Sorry, I thought I was alone…”
656. "Stop talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound.”
657. "Tell me a secret.”
658. "That came out wrong.”
659. "That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”
660. "The way you flirt is shameful.”
661. "There are plenty of people out there who love you.” “Yeah, like who?” “Like me.”
662. 252.“There’s something I need to tell you.”
663. "Things don’t always turn out how they should.”
664. "Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
665. "Wait a minute… Are you jealous?”
666. "Wake up! Please, please wake up!”
667. "Wanna dance?”
668. "We could be amazing!”
669. "Well, don’t keep me waiting!”
670. "Well, this is awkward…”
671. "Well, this is where I live.”
672. "We finish it the same way we started… together.”
673. "What are you afraid of?”
674. "What were you thinking? Were you trying to get yourself killed?”
675. "When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
676. "Where did you learn to dance?”
677. "Where were you? Do you have any idea as to how worried I was?”
678. "Who gave you that black eye?”
679. "Why are you lying?”
680. "Why are you up so early?”
681. "Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me?”
682. "Why choose me?”
683. "Why don’t you just kiss me already?”
684. "You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
685. "You deserve so much better.”
686. "You did this all for me?”
687. "You DID WHAT?”
688. "You don’t have to stay.”
689. "You don’t know you the way I do.”
690. "You don’t need to protect me.”
691. "You fainted… straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
692. "You have the most amazing eyes.”
693. "You have to make a choice.”
694. "You have to remember!”
695. "You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
696. "You know, it’s okay to cry…”
697. "You lied to me!”
698. "You look beautiful!”
699. "You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
700. "You need to leave. Right now.”
701. "You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
702. "You shouldn’t have even been there!”
703. "You walked away. Not me.”
704. "You weren’t supposed to hear that…”
705. "You’ll be the death of me.”
706. "You’re not alone.”
707. "You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
708. "You’re the only one I trust to do this.”
709. "You’re too good for me.”
710. "You’ve got to be kidding me!”
711. "Have you lost your damn mind?”
712. "Please, don’t leave.”
713. "Come over here and make me.”
714. "Wait a minute… Are you jealous?”
715. "Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
716. "I almost lost you.”
717. "Wanna bet?”
718. "Teach me how to play?”
719. "Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”
720. "We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”
721. "Just once.”
722. "I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
723. "I got you a present.”
724. "It’s not what it looks like…”
725. "Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
726. "I swear it was an accident.”
727. "Knowing you has made me a better person.”
728. "Just hold me.”
729. "I think I love you.”
730. "I’ve loved you for years.”
731. "Kiss me.”
732. "You’re the best part of me.”
733. "You keep me going.”
734. "You mean everything to me.”
735. "I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without you.”
736. "You’re perfect to me.”
737. "I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
738. "We’re best when we’re together.”
739. "I can’t stop thinking about you.”
740. "Can I hold your hand?”
741. "Do you want to stay over tonight?”
742. "You’re adorable.”
743. "Everything has been different since I fell in love with you.”
744. "I didn’t think it was possible to love a person as much as I love you.”
745. "I didn’t think love existed until I started loving you.”
746. "Let’s move in together.”
747. "Do you want me to leave?”
748. "You are not going without me.”
749. "I swear it won’t happen again.”
750. "What did you say?”
751. "I’m not jealous!”
752. "We can’t keep doing this.”
753. "Isn’t this amazing?”
754. "I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
755. "Stay the night. Please.”
756. "You can’t die. Please don’t die.”
757. "Run away with me.”
758. "Quit whining. It’s just a bullet.”
759. "Knowing you has made me a better person.”
760. "Just hold me.”
761. "I think I love you.”
762. "I’ve loved you for years.”
763. "Kiss me.”
764. "You’re the best part of me.”
765. "You keep me going.”
766. "You mean everything to me.”
767. "I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without you.“
768. "You’re perfect to me.”
769. "I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
770. "We’re best when we’re together.”
771. "I can’t stop thinking about you.”
772. "Can I hold your hand?”
773. "Do you want to stay over tonight?”
774. "You’re adorable.”
775. "Everything has been different since I fell in love with you.”
776. "I didn’t think it was possible to love a person as much as I love you.”
777. "I didn’t think love existed until I started loving you.”
778. "Let’s move in together.”
779. "Let’s strip down to our socks.”

Table: Playing 5E confronted with three possible hallways disusing which path to chose.

Elf Rouge: We shouldn’t listen to you all your plans are bad. last time you chose where to go you fell in a hole.

Me Goblin Warlock: My plans are not always bad, I’ll show you. I go down hall 3.

Dm: as you traverse the hall you fall a trap is sprung, you fall into a hole with a black slime.

Me:ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

Dm: It hits you once take a failure in your death saving throws. your up roll your save.

Me: -rolls dice, long silence, looks up.- Welp that’s a crit fail. I’m dead.

Needless to say my next character had a high perception mod.

here be green eyed monsters (beyond the horizon)

To mark a very special milestone - Beyond the Horizon hitting one million views on ff.net, I wrote an additional scene set in my pirate/princess ‘verse, based on Emma flirting with Past!Hook in the S3 finale, much to Killian’s chagrin. So here’s a flirty princess, a jealous pirate, and some smutty fun aboard the Jolly Roger!

Read on ff.net here

                              here be green eyed monsters

“It’s no use, Captain. Anyone who wants passage through the strait pays Teach for the privilege, unless you want to challenge him?”

“Swords at dawn? Or pit the Jolly against the Revenge on the open sea?”

“Jolly’s faster, but Teach is a tricky bastard.”

“He won’t best the captain hand to hand though.”

Emma listened to the men, talking in low tones around the rough hewn table over their mugs of ale while Killian was silent beside her, completely still save for the rub of his thumb over the ring on his index finger while he stared with narrowed eyes at the group seated at the other end of the tavern. They were a raucous crew of men, throwing back spirits and gaming loudly with dice, all clustered around the one smack dab in the middle who was clearly their leader.

“I dunno, Blackbeard’s the most legendary pirate ever to fly the colours…er, except for you sir.”

Smee visibly shrank under his red cap at Killian’s glare, looking away and and taking a quick swallow of his drink.

Keep reading

PARTS: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // epilogue
Pairing: Jimin x reader
Words: 7,760
Genre: smut, angst, supernatural au.
click here for warnings by part (potential spoilers).

When playing the lying game, there are but two rules. The first is to be convincing. Live the lie, breathe the lie, believe it so wholeheartedly it becomes your new truth. The second is to always remember there are other players in the game, some of whom have been playing it far longer than you.

Time always seemed to go slowly for you. It has always consisted of a lot of waiting, searching, and more waiting. Waiting for leads, waiting for information, waiting for days to turn into weeks, into months, into years. Every day began to seem the same, and the most exciting moments have been those when you’re risking your life. Kind of fucked up, but true.

Recently, though, this has changed. Jimin has changed everything. Somehow, time has passed in a blur of meet ups, of laughter, of actually leaving the safety of the church and experiencing the things the world has to offer. Jimin makes you see the beauty in the mundane and take a look at things you’ve experienced hundreds of times through a different set of eyes. Suddenly, just walking in silence takes on a whole new meaning with him beside you, or even popping by a fast food joint becomes a billion times more interesting as you watch him dunk his french fries into a milkshake (a strange combination that he has tried to make you enjoy, but failed).

Time both seems to go too slow when you’re apart and too fast when you’re together. One instance, you were both talking until the early hours of the morning at his place, only realizing the time at 4AM. You stayed the night, sleeping in his guest room, just a few steps away from his bedroom. You didn’t get any sleep, of course, despite how incredibly comfortable the bed was. He offered to drive you “home” (a fake address to an apartment just across town from him), but you insisted on walking. Your mind buzzed the entire way home, trying to understand what this new friendship meant and how it would affect your mission to avenge your parents. You’ve been distracted, but you’re enjoying it. Possibly more than you should. You’ve been making stupid, half thought through decisions, and there’s no room for those kinds of mistakes in a life like yours.

Mistake number one manifested as a mobile phone. A cheap one from the grocery store, but a phone nonetheless. You’ve never had one and you wouldn’t have the first clue how to use it, but you bought it on a whim. The realization of what you’d done hit you when you were driving back to the church and were struck with distraught feelings you’ve never felt before. How could you be so reckless? Just for a boy? The two of you have gotten along just fine without calling or texting, there’s no need to change anything now. Jimin understood your ‘explanation’ for not owning a phone. You’d justified it with a “It just makes me feel too connected. People used to get by just fine without them. There are so many beautiful things to experience in the world, I don’t want to miss any of it because of some dumb little screen.” Sure, the excuse sounds a bit lame, but there must be people out there who think that way and genuinely do wish to escape the crazy technological world.

Nothing bad happened as a result of your rash decision, but you did drive all the way back to town and leave the phone, along with twenty dollars, beside a sleeping figure in the park.

Hoseok returns from his trip after four weeks, bearing new supplies, weapons, but no information. You want to tell him about Jimin right away, but you’re not sure what his reaction will be. And a part of you wants to keep this as something that’s just yours, just for a little longer. You’re okay with sharing everything with Hoseok, but you know that the moment you do, this thing with Jimin becomes reality. It’ll become something you have to discuss and understand in terms of The Bigger Picture, and you’re not quite ready for that yet.

You’re sure that Hoseok suspects something. Of course he does. There’s no other reason for you to be away so long and then not share what happened or what you did. Hoseok isn’t stupid. But you appreciate that he’s giving you time to come to terms with everything before telling him. You do know, however, that you can’t wait forever. Eventually Hoseok will confront you about what’s going on, and you’ll have to tell him, but for now any confessions are on your terms. You promise yourself that you’ll tell him within the next month. You just need a little longer to pretend that Jimin and your world are completely disconnected, to just enjoy being with him without worrying about the what ifs. Whenever your thoughts stray towards those what ifs, you can’t stop thinking about them. There is no way you can continue to see Jimin and lead your own secret life. You either have to find a way to reconcile the two, or decide which to give up.

Jimin asks about your family one day while the two of you are playing Monopoly (a game you’ve learned to kick his ass in, and he’s complained that he “never should have taught you how to play this dumb game”) and you tell him the truth. Or at least as much of the truth as you can.

“My mom and dad were absolutely amazing. I always felt so loved and special because of them, as any kid should. They were the best parents in the world.” You shake the dice in your hands and let them clatter on the board, knocking over one of your houses in the process. “Then again, everyone thinks their parents are the best. But, god, were they in love. Something in the air just changed whenever they looked at eachother. I always hoped that I would someday be able to experience love like that.”

“Are they…?”

"Dead? Yeah. They passed away when I was small,” you say as you move your piece up five steps, right onto one of his squares with a hotel on it. “Damn it.” Handing him an obscene amount of money notes, you continue. “I was taken in by someone who had known the family for years and I couldn’t be more grateful to him for everything he’s done for me.” Technically Hoseok had known about your family, just not in a positive way. But Jimin doesn’t need to know that.

“There still are some good people left in the world… I’m so sorry about your parents, Sooyoung.”

You shake your head and avoid his eyes, feeling ashamed for the way you still have to conceal the truth from him. Every time he calls you Sooyoung you try to ignore the guilt that gnaws at your heart for continuing to lie to him. “It’s okay, I had to accept the way things were a long time ago. You learn to live and let go.” Another lie. You try to shift the subject away from you and your lying ass. “What about you? What’s your family like?”

This time he glances down, throwing the dice, a bit harder than he usually does so one rolls underneath your leg. You lift it to reveal a three then move it to the centre of the board.

“Complicated is the best way to put it, I guess. Dad's… Dad. Sorry, that doesn’t make sense. When I used to live with him he’d be so busy that he’d rarely be home, and when he was he never really seemed to be there. But it’s fine. Like you, I accepted the way things were a long time ago and moved the hell out as soon as I could. I think I turned out just fine, despite everything.”

“Yeah, you’re not too bad,” you say, which earns you a smile. “How are things with your mom?”

You wish you could take the question back the moment you see his face fall. He tries to cover it, acting like the question doesn’t hit him somewhere in his heart where it aches like a splinter lodged too deep to pull out, but you notice anyway. You learned to read people’s expressions, no matter how subtle, a long time ago. 

“She’s not around anymore. I see her every now and then, but she doesn’t live with us.”

“I’m sorry, Jimin.”

He forces a smile, which only breaks your heart even more. “Life happens, right?” He holds up a card in his hand, indicating the discussion is over. “'Make general repairs on all your property. For each house pay $25, for each hotel pay $100.’ Fuck this game.”

When you finally go home, you decide it’s time to tell Hoseok. For the first time in a while you’re actually nervous to divulge something to him. He can tell. The moment you step foot into the bunker, he takes a look at you and sits down on the couch, eyeing you carefully. He doesn’t speak, waiting for you to go first. You don’t sit down, instead you pace around the room, chewing your lip. He was clearly working on something since there are books strewn across the room, papers piled on the table.

You’re afraid to voice your thoughts because once you start, you might not stop. All the way home, you kept thinking about what it might be like to live a life where playing Monopoly with Jimin could be some weekly ritual, where you could take him to meet Hoseok without having to lie about where you live and just about every other aspect of your life. You kept thinking about what it might feel like to be normal and to not have any what ifs. To be able to see Jimin and not worry about maybe having to say goodbye to him forever out of fear that he might get killed or you might neglect him because of your mission. You wondered what it would be like to live a life where you could truly open your heart to someone without constantly waiting for it to be shattered. 

Finally, you just blurt it out.

“I met someone.”

Hoseok nods, but again doesn’t speak.

“We met in the woods, while you were away. He was lost, and I know that the right thing to do would have been to bail, but I just couldn’t.” You struggle to find the words to explain to him why you didn’t turn around and follow your instincts. You’ve been trained for this. There have been one too many times when you’ve had to turn around and leave someone behind, regardless of how much you wanted to stay and help. You’ve overridden that urge that makes people human. There was even an instance when you had to leave Hoseok behind. It ripped you apart, abandoning him when he was hurt. But he made you leave, and thankfully survived. If you could somehow leave Hoseok behind, you should be able to leave anyone else. And yet, with Jimin you couldn’t. If you could have re-done that whole situation again, you’re sure that you would still do the same thing. You would stay.

“I’m tired, Hobi,” you finally admit. “I’m tired of hiding away and not experiencing the things people my age have probably experienced a billion times already. I love you and I love spending time with you, but, I just wanted to know what it might feel like to have someone in my life who isn’t family and who I don’t live with.”

Hoseok is smiling, which confuses the hell out of you. This is not how you expected him to react. “What? What did I say?”

He shakes his head and pats the space beside him, prompting you to sit down. This time you do. “You look like you’re waiting for me to get angry,” he says. “I’m not, not even a little bit. You were bound to want more than the life you have at some point. I’m happy you met someone.”

 You struggle for words in your stupour. This is not the way you imagined things going. “You’re happy? Aren’t you worried?”

“I know you, Y/N. You have good instincts, so I trust you. I’ve been hoping this day would come for a while now. You deserve more of a life than this church can offer you. Get out there and make some mistakes. That’s life.”

 You raise your eyebrows. “Make some mistakes?”

He laughs. “I don’t mean blow our cover. I mean mistakes that any other average human being would make. People learn best from the dumb things they do. All I ask is that you be careful, alright?”

“Yeah, of course, I haven’t told him about any of this,” you gesture around the bunker, “Or about–”

“Not just that,” he interrupts, gently. “Be careful with your heart. No matter what, you need to put yourself first. If anything ever feels wrong, trust your gut. You’re smart, you’ll know what’s right or wrong. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into anything you’re uncomfortable with, and don’t let yourself be treated in any way you don’t deserve.”

“Okay, I promise to be careful. But just so you know, Jimin isn’t like that. I can tell. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”

Hoseok rests a hand on your arm gently. “At the end of the day, each and every one of us is capable of anything. All of us have secrets, and all of us have flaws. Just keep that in mind. But, you know, don’t forget to have fun. Be careful, but allow yourself to let go. You’ve more than earned it.”

You put your hand over his and give it a squeeze. “Thanks, Hobi.”

The conversation gives you a new sense of strength, and just for a second, you allow yourself to believe that maybe everything will work out.

Three days after your talk with Hoseok, you wait outside the building of your fake address, anxious to see Jimin. The conversation with Hoseok has made you even more excited to see him. The two of you had worked out a solution to you not owning a phone, so that if a meet up didn’t work out, you would see eachother the next day in the same place at the same time. Neither of you have ever had to flake on set plans, but it’s nice to have a backup nonetheless.

Jimin is late. He’s never late, which means that you always have to come much earlier so he doesn’t suspect that you don’t actually live here. The apartment you chose has a key code, which means that there’s no way he can actually come inside unless you let him in. Which also means that he’s less likely to find out that you don’t live here. To find out the code to let you in, you tagged behind someone who lives in the apartment and dug around in your bag as though searching for your keys, all the while watching them enter in the code before slipping inside. They were even kind enough to hold the door open for you to let you in. Some people are just too helpful for their own good. 

You scan the area, trying to spot Jimin’s familiar face, but he’s nowhere in sight. Ten minutes pass, fifteen, twenty, then thirty. You bob up and down on your feet, getting more and more restless by the second.

Eventually you have to accept that he’s not coming. You ignore the dejected feeling in your chest and remind yourself that sometimes life happens. You’ll see him tomorrow and everything will be fine.

You drive home and suppress the urge to drive back and keep waiting. Maybe he’ll come. Maybe he got held up, but planned on coming anyway, just in case you were still there. You don’t turn back. You have your own stuff to do anyway. You have to respect yourself enough to remember that before him, you did have a life. Maybe it wasn’t much of a life, but you still had one. You can’t just throw all of that away just for one person. You can’t constantly be waiting around and putting everything else on pause. That’s not healthy.

So you drive home and greet Hoseok, who you hadn’t seen in the morning before leaving since he was out tending the garden (you assume that’s where he was). He looks a bit surprised to see you back early, but doesn’t question it. The two of you are going to have to adjust to the idea of you seeing people. After so many years of it being just the two of you, this is totally new. Or at least to you it is. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that Hoseok has been around for much longer than you. Before this, he probably had friends and hobbies. He probably didn’t spend all of his time watching his back and watching yours for good measure. Every time you remember this, your heart swells both with sadness for the past life he gave up for you, but also swells with immense gratitude that you will never be able to properly express to him. You hope that after this he is able to live life the way he deserves. To surround himself with people who bring as much light to the world as he does, rather than have to extinguish that flame in the underground bunker day in and day out purely to keep you safe. The older you get – the more time that passes without enough progress – the more guilty you feel for holding him back. But you have to remind yourself that you’re not forcing him to stay, that he’s an adult capable of making his own decisions, and sticking around to help you kick butt was the one he made. You wouldn’t hold it against him for a second if he decided he wanted more than what this life has to offer.

“You busy?” You ask.

 He closes the book on selkies he was reading. “Nope, what’s up?”

“Is it okay if we train for a bit? I’m feeling a bit rusty.”

“Yeah, of course. Inside or outside?”

“Outside.”

You both change into more comfortable clothing, grab a blindfold (which is really just a strip of black cloth from one of your old shirts) and head out of the bunker. You need to release some energy and get some training in since you’ve been missing out on it recently because of how much time you spend with Jimin.

There’s a slight chill in the air and you hug your arms around yourself to conserve heat, but you know that after a while of sparring you’ll be warm enough to forget about the cold.

You make way into the forest, to a spot just far enough from the road that if anyone is passing by they won’t hear anything and come looking. When you practice shooting, you go even further. The risk is small, but it’s easier to talk precautions than to try to explain what you’re doing to a complete stranger.

“You wanna do it blindfolded?” He gestures to the cloth in your hand. Every now and then you remain blindfolded while sparring Hoseok, in order to try to hear him before he comes at you. Sometimes it goes okay, but usually you end up on your ass and with ten new bruises on your body. But you keep doing it, because no matter how good you get, you will always be at a disadvantage if you’re up against a supernatural being. There’s only so much your human body can do, so you need to be able to predict your opponent’s moves before they’ve even finished thinking them through. You need to be one step ahead in a dance where you’re always three steps behind. The blindfold isn’t completely opaque, but it’s dark enough that it feels like it’s night time, and all figures are nothing more than silhouettes.

“Yeah, I’m a bit out of practice. Could you use your abilities today? Please?”

 He deliberates, silence hanging between you, before he finally concedes. “Alright. Tell me to stop the second it gets too much.” You nod and tie the blindfold around your eyes, plunging the world into darkness. You steel yourself for what’s to come, your nerves already in overdrive from anticipation. You would trust Hoseok with your life, but that doesn’t make experiencing his abilities any more pleasant.

“Do your worst,” you say, lifting your balled fists and shifting your feet so you’re ready to spring at him at any second. You listen carefully for footsteps padding over grass, the snap of a twig, a breath against your ear. It’s not enough to hear, it’s important to pinpoint where the noise is coming from and act.

There’s a light crunch behind you and you whip around, swinging but making no contact. Another sounds just nearby you, but again nothing. Sometimes Hoseok fools you and makes you think he’s somewhere where he isn’t, which is infuriating, but keeps you on your toes. The bad guys aren’t going to stop when you tell them to stop.

Something in your gut tells you he’s to your left, like that burning feeling you get when you know somebody is watching you, so you target a blow in that direction and strike Hoseok. Your body buzzes with adrenaline and you feel proud of yourself for being right about your hunch, but this is no time to get distracted, so you let your body react, punching and blocking while shuffling back and forth across the forest floor. He may have the advantage of sight, but you’re the better fighter so you’re faster, albeit slightly clumsy. Just when you think you might overpower him, he invades your mind and tears down your defenses. You fight him, remembering all the lessons from before, just barely managing to throw up walls before he crashes through them.

And then it stops.

A thud and a groan follow, and you promptly tear the blindfold off, squinting as your eyes adjust back to the light. Then you see red. Red everywhere. Your hands are covered in blood, Hoseok lying at your feet, his face deformed and wounded, hand pressed tightly against the spreading scarlet on his shirt.

“What the hell did you do to me?” he chokes out.

You completely forget about the training. “Hoseok, what–”

“You did this to me.” His face contorts in pain and you drop to your knees to pull his hand away, to assess the damage so you can help him, but he swats you away. "You did this.” he keeps saying.

“Hobi, no,” you say, heart pounding in your chest. “Please let me help you. You’re bleeding.”

He laughs, humourlessly. “So are they.”

You don’t want to turn around, but you do, and you suck in a sharp breath at the sight before you. Your mother and father lie lifeless on the cold ground, clothing drenched in their own blood. Almost the entirety of your father’s skin has been badly burned, but you’d recognize him anywhere. A sob lodges itself in your throat, but you can’t lose it or else you’ll never gather yourself again.

“Wh-what happened?” You crawl over to them and shake them desperately. Maybe this time they won’t leave you. Maybe this time you’ll have a chance to actually save them. Something twinges in the back of your mind that this isn’t right, something is off here, and you’re just about to grasp reality again when you hear another groan further away, and your body goes ice cold.

Jimin is drawing in painful, heavy breaths, but he’s still standing. Blood blooms across his green sweater and he looks at you with so much hatred it makes your insides curl. “You did this. You killed us all.”

You stumble over to him but he steps back, holding up a hand to prevent you from coming any closer. “Don’t come near me. You’re a liar. This entire time. A cold-blooded killer. I wish I’d never met you. None of this would be happening if not for you.” He takes another step back and falls over, wincing at the way his body hits the ground. You ignore his protests and crouch beside him, trying to push his sweater aside to prevent the bleeding, but he fights against you, repeating over and over that this is because of you, just like Hoseok had.

“You know,” Jimin begins, his voice strained, “It’s a shame the Alpha didn’t get you too. Would’ve spared us all. He should have gotten your parents and you.”

The words cut deep in a place you never knew you could ache before. Your entire body begins to tremble, but you’re not sure from what. Fear, maybe. Anger. If he were anyone else, they would be dead within a heartbeat for saying something like that, but instead you pull off your top and press it against the wound. Blood quickly stains the cloth and you know there’s not much longer left for him. You scream for help, praying that for once there might be somebody nearby with a phone to call an ambulance. You scream and scream while Jimin laughs, his face growing paler by the second.

“You couldn’t save your parents, what makes you think you could save me?”

“I won’t let you die. I won’t let anyone else die because of me,” you say, your body trembling even more now.

And then he’s gone. They’re all gone and you’re on your knees, hands completely clean, hovering in the air where they were touching Jimin just seconds ago. Reality always takes time to come back to you, but this time you lost yourself more than you usually do, and so the divide between truth and illusion doesn’t come back as fast as it should. Jimin was right here, dying in front of you, and he wanted nothing to do with you. None of them did.

“Y/N,” Hoseok rushes to your side and you startle, staring at him. He’s unwounded, safe. Alive. “Y/N, I’m here. I got you.”

It takes you a second to realize that everything was part of the hallucination, that nothing that just transpired was real. The relief hits you like a freight train, but another feeling gnaws at your stomach because you can’t help but wonder if maybe there was some truth to your nightmare.

“Why did you stop?”

Hoseok is looking at you with so much concern and you don’t understand why. Eventually you would have figured out what was going on and the practice could have continued. Your body hadn’t reached its maximum limit, not even by a little bit. But Hoseok doesn’t answer, instead pulls you to him and holds you so gently like you might shatter from the slightest amount of pressure. It’s only then that you realize you’re crying. He keeps you safely enclosed in his arms, only letting go when your body cools down and starts shivering from the cold.

“Come on,” he says, lifting you up slowly and guiding you back to the church. He keeps a hand against your back the entire way, and you’re sure that if it weren’t there, you would probably fall apart.

 Once indoors, you get in the shower and turn the heat up high so its almost scalding. You scrub at yourself vigorously, trying to erase the memory clinging to your skin of what had happened. Or didn’t happen. Your skin is rubbed red and raw when you emerge, but it still doesn’t feel like enough. There might not be any blood on your hands, but you can still feel it, coating your skin like the remorse festering in your heart.

Hoseok holds out a cup of chamomile tea once you get out and you accept it gratefully.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

You shrug, sitting down on the floor, back against the wall.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Hoseok drops his gaze in shame. “I should have said no-”

“Hobi, stop,” you intercede. “I asked. It’s okay. We both knew it wouldn’t end well. I don’t know what happened out there, usually I’m in more control than that. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I’m sorry if you felt pressured into something you didn’t want to do, though. I know you don’t like using your abilities, I’m sorry you had to do that." 

"I’ll dial it back next time.” You know even that was tame for what he can do, but you don’t say anything. “Do you want to talk about what you saw?”

You set the tea down on the floor and take a deep breath, closing your eyes. The last thing you want to do is think about what you saw, but talking it out does help sometimes. Sometimes you just need to be alone to grieve. Usually you try talking it out, something Hoseok has encouraged you many times to do so whatever is bothering you doesn’t keep chipping away at you so there’s more to work through than there needs to be.

 "The usual. But it was different this time. Jimin was there too.“ Your cheeks heat up admitting this and you’re not quite ready to ponder over the depth of what it means that he was there too. "There was blood, everywhere. I think-I think I did it. I don’t know. You all kept saying I did. That it was my fault.” Emotion swells in your throat again and you clear it forcefully, unwilling to cry yet again. Crying is good, but you don’t like the gross, puffy feeling that comes afterward that lingers for hours on end. “Maybe you were right, to an extent. Or at least, Jimin was right. He called me a liar. He called me lots of things, actually. And deny it as much as I want, I am lying to him, every single day. What if one of these days he finds out? Or what if one of my lies catches up to me and hurts him? What then?”

Hoseok sits down in front of you and takes your hands. Somehow, Hoseok still has a response to put you at ease, just like always. “You can never predict who is going to get hurt in this world, so you just… Have to trust yourself. Let yourself live a little. Sometimes… Sometimes people are worth the risk. Even if he finds out some day, who’s to say he won’t understand?” He reaches out and lifts your chin so you look at him. His warm smile makes some of the worry you feel subside, and this time you feel yourself getting emotional for another reason.

“People will surprise you. If he cares enough about you, he’ll be willing to look deeper, past the things you’ve done. If he can’t do that, then he’ll be losing someone absolutely incredible, and that’s the greater misfortune in this case,” he says.

“I’m so scared,” you whisper, averting your gaze to your lap. “Sometimes I wonder if this is all worth it. I’m always so scared that one day I’m going to lose you or Jimin, just because of this mission. My parents aren’t coming back. They’re dead and staying dead, even if we succeed. But when I think about giving up it just… They deserve vengeance. I can’t let them go like that. Not when we’ve both risked so much and tried so hard.”

Hoseok rubs his thumb in circles over the back of your palm, a gesture that somehow helps ground you. “I’m not going anywhere, and there’s no need to ever worry about me, alright? If anything ever happened, I would be fine. If you want to continue fighting, we’ll fight. If you want to let this mission go, we’ll let it go. And in terms of Jimin, you’re doing what you can to protect him. If you think it’s right to let him go, then do what you have to do. But don’t let him go because you’re afraid. Only do what you think is the smart move. If… If you feel the need to tell him about everything that we’re doing and what we are, then I won’t hold it against you.”

 This really surprises you. “You’d be okay with that?”

“If you thought that was a necessary choice to make, then yes. Of course.”

“You know you’re the best, right?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “I try. Now, come on, let’s turn that frown upside down. Get in your PJs and we’ll watch whatever movie you want. I’ll make popcorn.”

You end up watching a depressing romance movie, which has you sobbing by the end, and you’re sure you catch Hoseok trying to discreetly wipe away a tear at some point. It feels good to have a release like that, even though you’re just crying over a movie. 

Neither of you has the energy to move off the couch after the movie, so you lie your head down on Hoseok’s lap, and the two of you talk for a while until your responses become slower and eventually you’re both in dreamland. You doze restlessly (as one does when they’re sleeping on somebody else) and after a couple hours force yourself to get up and get in bed. Hoseok opens his eyes, looking at you groggily before passing out once more.

You don’t dream, thankfully, because you’re sure if you had they would probably be nightmares. When you wake up, the guilt hits you again like a shit ton of bricks. You pull your pillow over your head, pressing it tightly against you, hoping that maybe you could squeeze it out of your body, even though the thought is completely ridiculous. You try to go back to sleep so that maybe you won’t have to think about it, but once you’re up, you’re up. So you haul yourself out of bed and eat breakfast, talk to Hoseok, and do everything you normally would do. You refuse to just hole up and let your feelings rot and stink up your head. You have to keep yourself busy.

Hoseok suggests going for a walk, and you almost can’t get your shoes on fast enough. You know you’re supposed to meet with Jimin today since he wasn’t able to make it the day before and any other day you would be out the door, leaving a trail of fire behind you from excitement. But today is different. You knew since yesterday that you wouldn’t be going. Which makes you feel worse, but you need time to yourself. Reality is beginning to catch up to you and run as you might it’s going to gain on you eventually and force you to make a choice. Do you accept the risks of keeping Jimin in your life, or do you walk away now before either of you gets too attached? The thought of having to cut him off hurts. He’s the first friend you’ve ever had and you honestly feel like the luckiest person in the world to have the privilege of knowing him. 

A part of you hopes that whatever kept Jimin busy yesterday keeps him busy today too so he doesn’t end up waiting for you, only for you not to show up. Hoseok falls into step beside you. The autumn air has a bite to it, but you’re glad because it keeps you alert and ready for anything. It also calms your mind and you can stop thinking, just for a little bit. Neither of you really has a destination in mind, which is fine. You probably won’t end up going very far since you’re on foot and you don’t want to completely abandon everything. You just need a temporary escape to get your head on straight. Eventually you have to face the music and tackle reality, but for now you focus on the chill in the air, the damp grass under your feet, and Hoseok’s familiar stride beside you.

“Has this place changed much since the first time we came here?” You suddenly ask him.

Hoseok looks around and you wonder what he sees. You can’t remember much of the journey to the church since you were so young. The days had blended together in a haze of grief and foreign sights – places that extended far past the boundary around your home that your parents laid out for you. You wonder what the experience had been like for him and whether it’s tainted by the same things, or if he saw it as the beginning of something new and exciting.

Sometimes you think that you adopted the same precautions your parents did; after all, you established boundaries for yourself. Boundaries around the church and boundaries around your heart that nobody could slip through. Well, until Jimin.

“Everything changes,” Hoseok says. “That’s just a part of life. But the forest has always felt the same. Every now and then I’m reminded of when I found you. Especially around this time of year. ” He looks at you. “We’ve changed. For the better, mostly. I’m proud of you, you know. Even after everything you’ve been through, you became the strongest, bravest, kindest person I know.”

“Thanks, Hobi,” you say, nudging him a little. “Would you ever re-do it all? You had a life before this and then all of a sudden you had this kid to take care of. Do you ever regret it?”

He shakes his head. “Never. If I had to re-do my decision, I would choose the same path again. I will never regret you.”

While you’re on the subject, you ask a question that you almost steer clear of. There’s almost an unspoken rule that the subject is to never be brought up. The moment feels right, so you take the risk, even though you know chances are he’ll avoid answering and switch to another subject. “Do you ever think about your family?”  

“You are my family.”

“Hoseok.”

He hesitates and for a second you think he’s going to end the conversation there. It’s rare for Hoseok to open up fully about his family, so when he does, you treasure the moments deeply. He’s open about pretty much everything in life, apart from what happened in his past. All you know is that his family is dead, but he never gets into the details. There’s so much you don’t know about him, about the Dark Court he fled and why he fled. Whenever you try to broach the topic with him, he shuts it down in two seconds flat. So you proceed with caution. You want to know more about him, to understand him better, but you know that if you say the wrong thing, the moment will be over. He won’t open up like this again for a long time.

“No, I try not to.”

“Do you miss them?”

“No.”

 "No?“

 "After the things they did… I don’t know how I could.”

You chew on your lip, facing forward, not daring to look at him. If you do, he might get uncomfortable and stop talking. You’re not only glad that he’s opening up to you, but you’re also glad that he’s finally, maybe, going to talk about it. It’s not hard to tell that he has tried to bury dark secrets, and you know how that can feel. You know how secrets can eat you alive if you don’t talk about them.

 "What happened?“ You prompt him carefully.

You glance over at him, briefly to check his expression, and see something in his eyes shift, the way people get when they’re transported to another time, not quite seeing what’s in front of them.

"I fell in love with a boy from the Summer Court. We kept our relationship a secret, because we knew that if anybody found out, all hell would break loose. The Dark Court only has enemies, never allies. They are always ready for war. The fuse is ready, somebody just needs to give them an excuse to light it. But the Summer Court will do anything to avoid war. I was one of the Queen’s personal guards and he was the heir to the Summer King’s throne. It would be the ultimate betrayal.

"I wanted out of the Dark Court, but there was no way I could do it alone. We both knew we had to involve as few people as possible and keep things quiet since it was such a huge risk. And honestly, I would have taken all the risks just to be with him. He was worth that. But I made the mistake of turning to my family for help. They turned us in, he was killed along with the rest of them, and so the war between the Summer and Dark Court began.”

"Hoseok, I’m so sorry,” you say. “I can’t believe they would do something so horrible to you.”

He lets out a deep sigh, as though he were finally letting out all the air he’d been holding inside himself for years. “They thought they were doing the right thing. It’s awful, but that’s the way Dark fey think. Things work differently for us. For them. There is no such thing as mercy, which makes them very dangerous. If you ever come across Dark fey, promise me you’ll run like hell. Don’t fight, don’t try to reason with them. Run as fast as you can and don’t look back.”

“I will.” Hoseok taught you many years ago what Dark fey look like, assuring you that if you ever saw one, you’d know it was Dark fey without a shadow of a doubt. Dark fey’s appearance takes on the form of everything they believe in. Nightmares, darkness, death. Their exterior is disfigured and everything on the inside, everything they stand for, mirrors the outside. You once asked Hoseok why he doesn’t look like Dark fey. If he hadn’t told you, you would’ve never known what he was. He told you he made a deal with the Summer King, who would rid Hoseok of his physical atrocities in exchange for information about the Dark Court that might help with the war. Now that you know more of the story, you look at Hoseok in a new light. To go to the Summer Court was a big risk and they could have easily turned him away. You now understand the pained expression he had when he told you all of this years ago. Though you want to tell him that none of this is his fault, that had his family not done what they did this would never have happened, you think it wouldn’t help, so you leave it. You just hope that in the future if he needs to talk, he knows that you’re ready to listen.

As you walk further, you think over his story, trying to find the silver lining. Something about it gives you hope. If a Summer and a Dark faerie could somehow manage to overcome their differences and love one another wholeheartedly, what’s to say Jimin couldn’t accept you? Sure, he comes from the human world where supernatural things aren’t exactly 'normal’, but hopefully he would be able to see it in himself to try and see things from your point of view. Purely in a platonic sense, of course. If things ever come to that.

As you walk, Hoseok tells you a bit more about the Dark Court, about the wonderful things he learned about the Summer Court, about the boy he had fallen in love with. You wish you could have seen Hoseok back then. Seen the happiness that must have lit up his face when he was with the boy. You want to close the subject on a good note, ending with happy memories rather than sad ones, so you ask him what it felt like to be in love. 

 A tiny smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he undoubtedly recalls fond memories from the past. Bingo. “It felt like light had been restored to the world. His laughter could make flowers bloom and his smile… I lived for that smile. I would have given anything just for him to be happy every day of his life. He made me want to be a better person. Somehow he saw through all the darkness and all the horrors that made me who I was. He helped me see myself for who I could be.

"Anything that happened, he would be the first person I wanted to tell. I wanted to share my life with him. Every detail of it. Every time I looked at him, my heart felt like it might burst from all the love it was carrying. He changed my life and I’ll never forget him. You never forget your first love.” Hoseok’s glazed over eyes seem to clear and you can tell he’s coming back to reality. “He taught me a lot of important lessons and he taught me that not everybody always needs to have an ulterior motive when doing something. People should be willing to lend a hand in exchange for nothing, to help without being owed anything in return. He was that kind of person. He gave so much of himself to the world, and he had so much more to give–”

He breaks off, going completely still. “Did you hear that?”

You frown. “No, what?”

His eyes flick around the forest and you both strain to hear whatever he just heard. You don’t say anything in case there is someone out there and it draws attention to you. Of course, neither of you is doing anything wrong, but you can never really tell who your friends and who your enemies are. There could either be an innocent hiker out there, or somebody you’ve upset along the way with your mission. But the silence stretches on and you’re beginning to think that maybe Hoseok heard a bird or something.

Then everything explodes in a sea of sound. Gunshots split the air and Hoseok is yelling at you to run. You draw the gun out from your pocket, shooting without aiming in any particular direction. You can’t see who is shooting, which puts you at a severe disadvantage.

 A bullet grazes your leg and you nearly trip over, but you manage to catch yourself just in time. Hoseok shouts your name and you spin around to face him. You didn’t realize how far he was. “Behind you!”

You don’t have time to react, to so much as see your captor before everything goes black.

Monk Week: New Monastic Traditions

image source: Complete Psionic D&D 3.5e supplement

Way of the Zerth Cenobite

The Zerth Cenobite is a student of time and the body’s movement through it. For the Cenobite, time has become simply another dimension to move through. The teachings of the Zerthin style have been passed down through Githzerai monks from deep within the plane of Limbo. A useful subclass for a creative player that rewards forward thinking. It is a great for Banishing the biggest threat in an encounter to make it easier on the rest of the team. It is also a near-impossible class to kill with its ability to become temporarily invulnerable or step forward in time to evade danger on top of a monk’s regular tendency to skirt death.

Temporal Strike: At third level, you gain the ability to hit enemies forward in time a number of rounds equal to your monk level when you hit an enemy with an unarmed strike. The creature must make a WIS saving throw to resist the effect. If the effect is resisted, the creature is only moved forward in time by one round. Once you use this ability, it cannot be used again until you finish a short rest to meditate on the passage of time.

Future Sight: At third level, you may spend 1 Ki Point to cast Augury as the spell.

Timeless Step: At sixth level, you are able to step forward in time any number of rounds up to your Monk level using an action. To the rest of the world, you have effectively disappeared in a soft flash of light, ceasing to exist until you return. You return at the start of the round, without any changes to your status from the moment you used the ability. You can use this ability once per short rest.

Temporal Acceleration: At eleventh level, you may spend 1 Ki point to accelerate your timeframe for one round, gaining an extra action and doubling your movement speed for that round. Once you use this ability, you may not use it again until you complete a long rest.

Temporal Distillation: At seventeenth level, you can emerge from mortal peril unscathed by entering an alternate timeline where no harm has befallen you. At the start of any round (regardless of any and all status conditions affecting you), you may use this ability to return to your state at the beginning of the previous round. Any status conditions, changes to your hit point values, spells cast upon you, or movement taken or imposed upon you since the start of your last turn is removed. This does not change the results of any rolls or uses of abilities since the last round, just your bodily status and position since the last round. No other creatures are affected by this ability. Once this ability is used, it cannot be used again until you finish a long rest.

image source: Genji (Overwatch)

Way of the Bladestorm

The bladestorm disciple is a monk that has trained to optimize a stealthy and deadly weapon: the shuriken. They work in shadows, attacking from stealth to take down their foes with a cloud of metal shuriken before they have realized what’s happened. For the purposes of this class, a shuriken has the statistics of a Dart.

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