a taste for flesh

anonymous asked:

what would happen if i were to uhhh devour fetus hinata like what if i just placed him in my gob and ate him what would happen what would he taste like

flesh. uhhyou gonna eat that


Oh, so now working with millennials is the worst because they work super hard and are driven?

What haven’t millennials done wrong at this point? Are millennials cannibals? They crave the taste of human flesh, don’t they?

A man finds a woman that he finds irresistible. She hits all the right notes. She loves his style of humor, she’s intelligent, beautiful… There’s just one problem. She might, maybe, possibly enjoy the taste of human flesh.

What does human flesh taste like? - Of course the age, the body part being eaten, and the cooking method shall affect the taste of the meat. Armin Meiwes, the German cannibal who killed and ate a willing man that he discovered online, reported that human flesh tastes like pork “but a little bit more bitter, stronger. It tastes quite good.” Issei Sagawa, a Japanese cannibal who killed and ate a female classmate that he had a crush on, described human flesh as “odorless” and not “gamey.” Arthur Shawcross, a serial killer who targeted prostitutes in Rochester, New York, claims that cooked human flesh tastes like a “nice roast pork.” Omaima Nelson, an Egyptian model who bludgeoned her husband to death before skinning, castrating, and eating his ribs, described eating them as “so sweet, it’s so delicious… I like mine tender.”

PSA: Do not actually eat ghosts. They taste like pain.

Context: Our party has just defeated a bunch of ghosts, and the dead ghosts are starting to dissolve.




DM: Eating ghosts is not one of a fairy’s abilities.

Fairy OOC: *nat 20* IT IS NOW

DM: …Okay, you eat one of the ghosts who’s disappearing more slowly than the others. It tastes like a mixture of human flesh and flavorless ice cream. Also, all fairies can now eat ghosts.


Barbarian OOC: Wait, would your character know what human flesh tastes like?

Fairy OOC: I mean they are Chaotic Evil.

I still remember the sound of my pant’s zipper going down when we first made love. I still remember the smell of your fresh rose lavender perfume when we first ate together. I still remember the taste of your flesh when we first kissed after we first ate together. I still remember the day I first saw you. And I still remember the feeling when I fell in love with you after I first saw you. Yes, darling. I still remember.
—  Juansen Dizon // I Still Remember
I only have mouth ulcers when
I want to eat oranges.
Even now, as I write this poem I want
To eat oranges.
My friend once wrote a poem
About oranges; the bitter peel of the fruit,
Some memory of her father:
The ash taste, the ash flesh.

Today I met a girl who was not
Sad, or bad, or mad,
She was just 
While wearing a funny hat
While speaking with a funny mouth.
At the park we tried to talk
I climbed the jacaranda tree.
In my awkwardness, she seemed to think
I was going to jump.

But I did not
I took my mouth ulcers home
Where I mostly pretend to be English.
At home I watch an English television show,
I eat the thick, white bread,
I only drink teas with milk.
In the next room, my beleaguered father
Falls asleep. He is growing old.

But when I was young, he told me a story
About a boy and a tree full of orange blossoms.

I no longer remember it now, but then,
It made me cry.
—  Yiwei Chai, Oranges
The signs as failed Fallout: New Vegas dialogue skill checks

Aries: “Raise your price or… or… you’ll be ‘chip outta luck.’”

Taurus: “You should leave before I… get mad.”

Gemini: “But where do you get protein? Oh my god! You’re all cannibals!”

Cancer: “Robot! Let me past!”

Leo: “Boy, I… sure would like some drugs. Do you know where I could buy some drugs?”

Virgo:  “I sort of tasted human flesh once. Mmm mmm good. Tell me all your secrets.”

Libra: “You must be, like… a brain in a jar!”

Scorpio: <Display middle finger.>

Sagittarius: “But the girl is sick. With classic symptoms of, uh… Vagina Dentata?”

Capricorn: “Just stick your fingers down your throat. That’ll flush you real good.”

Aquarius: “Thinking about you in tight leather makes me want to uh… blow my top?”

Pisces: “I’m going to… well, I’m sure it will be very painful if you don’t pay.”

nerdcaptorari  asked:

I had the funniest thought about your Bill comic. Like, since Ford got to see so many variations, if he kept coming at Bill with hateful comments about him being with Dipper... Maybe that would put a clever little strategy into Bill's head, and Bill starts jokingly 'going for Dipper' but then that could either create a hilarious situation where it actually does happen in his own world (once Dipper is a nice age), or it LOOKS like it actually happened (but hasn't), sending Ford into distress. XD


Dipper doesn’t agree, but of course that doesn’t stop Bill from doing it anyway…

“PS yes those are fangs on the stem and it will develop a taste for human flesh if it bites you. Be careful, my love! <3”

Ford doesn’t take it well

i part your thighs
and taste you
licking the softened flesh
of your sighs
and savouring the glide
of wet silk
warm and naked
across my tongue
—  PD Bates
I am not a cannibal

credit to- meberoxanne

Human flesh is surprisingly tasty.

Please do not judge me. It was a dire situation. I was starving.

She was already dead, and had been for several days. That’s why I was forced to eat her. Nobody was there to let me out or fill up my bowl, and I can’t reach the fridge to open it.

Her flesh tasted like chicken. I love chicken.

The phone had been ringing for days, but I didn’t know how to answer it. Somebody really must wanted to get a hold of her.

After a few days, somebody came to the door and started knocking. I started barking. I hate visitors.

Keep reading

Full Disclosure

When I fall for you, the passion
we hold between us will be
the devouring kind. A tormenting
tempest tethering souls together
with a force fit to warp steel. Creation
implicit between the lashes of a wink
or stare like eyelids cover tiny infinities.

Our love will smell like skinned knees
and grass stains and the bindings
of old books. I will keep your heart
thick in my throat, every whisper
a sunset that echoes the longing
the surf feels for the shore.

When I fall for you, my
submission to you will be
the playful kind. A teasing
triumph taken in time, a two-step
too close to tripping to be grace-
ful. Admiration of bruises that break
like constellations against a night
made flesh.

Our fever will taste like playgrounds
and Thursdays and double-dog
dares. I will keep your tongue
tucked behind my ear, every syllable
shivering down and down my spine
to vibrate secrets into sonnets.

When I fall for you, our life will be
the adventuring kind. A treasure trove
of temptations bled through salty
whimpers. Such exquisite torture,
the static of daydreams. Delicacies
to break and mend, break and mend,
break and mend.

Our living will feel like thunderstorms
and comets and godliness, when I fall
for you. If I fall for you ever,
or at all.

© 2017 by Jennifer R.R. Mueller

the mellow light
her long-stemmed neck
and almond eyes
in a slender vase
of upturned wrists
awaiting his reply
flickering gold
the iris of eye
barely visible
‘round dilated black
glittering teeth
eagerly revealed
ivory digging
in rose-colored flesh
mocha minted
eyes bewitched
subtle tasting
preordained souls
delicately outstretched
lips descending
deeply beneath
her silk’s soft scent
temples crumble
statues topple
and here among
the rubble
a white marble altar
draped in velvet
a chalice of nectar
for parched lips
—  Chapel of Earthly Delights, a collaboration piece by @rhapsodyinblue45 and @definegodliness
I was rereading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and I have a question

Who was the traveller that gave Aragog to Hagrid as an egg?

I come from a distant land. A traveller gave me to Hagrid when I was an egg.

Some mysterious traveller found an Acromantula egg and put it in their pocket. Acromantula are native to the rainforests of Southeast Asia. The females can lay up to 100 eggs at a time so there were probably a lot of eggs but the traveller decided to take only one. It can’t have been easy getting that egg without being eaten because Acromantula has a taste for human flesh.

The eggs usually hatch in six to eight weeks and during that time the traveller came to the UK. He then gave the egg of this dangerous arachnid to a child.

Hagrid was expelled in his third year so he was 13/14 at the time. We don’t know how long Hagrid had had Aragog meaning he could have been even younger when the traveller gave him that egg.

I’m serious, who was that person? Why did they risk their life to steal an egg, travel half way around the world to give it to a child and then disappear?


Regrowing Store-Bought Dragonfruit

I’m actually not too crazy about dragonfruit. They look badass, but boy do they taste like disappointment. However, this is my first time finding RED dragonfruit, which I believe is a bit more rare! The outside looks the same as a regular dragonfruit, but the flesh is red with black seeds instead of the more common white flesh with black seeds. The red variety tasted noticeably sweeter than the white variety, which usually tastes like crunchy water IMHO. However, be warned, brace yourself for red colored poo.

The seeds - with the good ol’paper towel method - germinated with much gusto. I’m excited, but I don’t have a good track record with the cacti family. Fingers crossed on me getting past the zone 7 winter.