a supernatural poem

For @bamf-castiel. As promised.

Okay but what if
Angels are black holes
And their halos are just the light warping around them
Being pulled in by gravity?

And what if they are singing, constantly
In harmonies so deep that
No human could possibly survive listening to their holy hymns?

And what if they are whispering
In ancient tongues, long forgotten
Telling the souls they come across
To not be afraid?

But oh, how could one not be afraid
Facing the terrifying beauty
Of so much


Now what if
Castiel, Angel of Thursdays
Was such a black hole
A multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent
A being almost as old as time itself
The center of a whole galaxy
With a halo forged from the dust of a thousand dying stars
What a perfect soldier of Heaven would he be?

But think –
Aren’t black holes systems with the highest numbers of entropy
Known to man?
Which means
Neither loyalty nor obedience is, what’s ruling Castiel’s conscience –
It is chaos.


So what if one day
A star was born
A soul burning so bright
That its light almost outweighed all the darkness surrounding it
And the other stars would pale beneath its shine?

A soul that was blessed with Righteousness
For its place was chosen within the course of destiny
A soul that was truly special among all of creation
A soul that was Dean Winchester.


At first
Castiel refused the mission of rescuing Dean Winchester
He did not want to reach out
Grip him tight
And raise him from perdition
When his light started to fade under hell’s torture

 Castiel had only ever managed
To catch glimpses of this light
And it was better this way, because he knew
The singularity at his center could only ever be the end of something
Never the start.


When Castiel finally laid a hand on the Righteous Man
He knew
He was lost
And so was Dean Winchester

For if you fall in love with an angel
It is much like
Falling into a black hole
You don’t even notice
The gravity
Slowly, steadily pulling you in
You don’t notice
How the only thing waiting for you at the end of this journey
Is your own death

Once you’ve crossed the event horizon
There is no going back.


Sometimes you just know
How certain things were never meant to be
But, listen –
What if I told you:
It is possible
To create order
From chaos
And light
From darkness.

t.j.m. | What If © 2017

(More info under the cut)

Keep reading

Forgive me father, for I am still small. Learning to live, and barely striving beyond a crawl. My wings are still so tender, yet so damaged to say the least. I’ve seen more already, than most people would believe. “Don’t step on that fish” I heard, I know, but will it ever learn to love? Will it have the privilege to grow? I have too many questions, father, and I’d like to know the response. Yet everytime I ask of you, the answer mimics itself down to the spot. “Be patient, my child, for wisdom comes the price of time. You’ll get there one day, you’ll see. When you grow up you will become a leader, a leader even better than me.”

Forgive me father, for I have let the Angels fall. I’ve snapped my wings, I’ve risked it all. I have done some good things, at least, but I’m not the Angel you promised I’d grow up to be. I am broken, hated, nothing but a disappointment hiding in a shell. I don’t belong up here in heaven, I’d be better off in Hell. I’ve disobeyed rules, I’ve broken everyone’s trust, now it only seems fair that I get left in the dust. I tried to treat my wings, bandages and all. They don’t really help much, though, when all my wings do is go limp and fall. I’m sorry I let you down, father, though all I’ve ever done is care. I’ve put humanity before everything else, I must be hard to bare. I want to be new again, so pure and full of dreams, not the angst ridden angel that has too much heart, bursting at the seams. 
Please, forgive me, father. 
Forgive me…


Even if his wings are broken and burned

his light still glows brighter than before

he now has a reason to fight

a reason that is not blind obedience

he fights for faith, for humanity,

most of all he fights for Dean.

Season Finales

So I wrote a poem:

Harry Potter is over,
And Merlin is too.
The Doctor’s last fight
Is finally through.
Sam and Dean are both gone,
While Adam’s in Hell.
Mary hurt her dear John,
And Sherlock as well.
The Hannibal clan
Has gone up in flames
Though if you’re not a fan,
Your life stays the same.
Our families are crumbling,
We can’t pick up the slack
Hurry up, Castiel,
And bring everyone back.

Birthday Girl (Philip X Reader)

WEDIM Day Twelve



WARNINGS: None, Fluff

SUMMARY: 19. 19 years old and not wed. To my father, this is an absolute disgrace. So naturally, he goes and finds some ‘fitting young men’ to come to my party. However, his plans go awry when the person who hates most makes a surprise visit bearing the best gift of all

A/N: This was requested by the ever lovely @bethanystan . Y’all need to go pester her to start writing again because she’s so good but she doesn’t believe in herself (and she has no ideas) I hope you are all well, and I hope you haven enjoyed the first twelve days of WEDIM!

I had known Philip since I was four years old. My family moved from Georgia to New York and thanks to our mothers getting along so well we ended up growing up together. We were only a month apart in age so up until the age of ten our birthday parties were always put together. My mother died when I was eight and although I still saw the Hamiltons regularly things were never quite the same. 

Much to my father’s disapproval, Phillip and I were best friends. My father could not understand that a man and a woman could be so close, in his mind women only made wives, then babies. There was no way a woman could be of intellectual equality to a man. But none the less we remained best friends throughout school and then when Philip went off to college we would write near every day and would always make time to see each other.

My nineteenth birthday rolled around and my father decided that would be the best time to find a husband because in his words: I was not going to stay ‘young and pure’ for very much longer. I was having my party at my Aunt and Uncle’s house and my father had invited three suitors he thought fit. I already knew I wouldn’t like them but I had no choice in the matter. I only had to talk to them once

My maid helped me get ready. I was wearing a gorgeous pastel blue gown with matching pumps. My hair was down and curled into tight curls which were then pinned back. A little makeup and I was ready to go.

My Aunt and Uncle lived in a big house in the city. Their house was just in front of the park and was absolutely huge on the inside. It was perfect for a party, and they happily obliged to letting me host one there. I’d invited my friends and their husbands/fiancés, Philip and his newest girlfriend were going to be there along with several members of my family.

The carriage ride to my Aunt and Uncles house took an hour so I settled in comfortably reading a book I had brought with me though I couldn’t really concentrate. My mind kept wandering back to Philip.

Recently, he’d been much more distant, ever since he’d got his new girlfriend. It wasn’t a rare thing for Philip to disappear for a day or two with a new girlfriend, as I’d been told multiple times by multiple women, he was very attentive in bed. But this time things were different, he didn’t write me once in the last week. He was barely home and when he was he was talking to his father about some college work then leaving straight after.

Angelica and Mrs Hamilton said that they had met this mystery girl once. Apparently, she was a barmaid in downtown Manhattan. She was beautiful, small curvy frame flawless skin and the most captivatingly bright blue eyes. A spout of jealousy grew within me as I thought about her. She was taking my best friend!

The more I thought about it the more I began to question my affections. Maybe I felt something more than friendship for the eldest Hamilton. No, I couldn’t! Sure, we’d shared a drunken kiss once or twice but there was nothing more than friendship… right? My head was in a spin, I couldn’t keep my mind focused on anything else. Maybe Father was right, men and women cannot just be friends.

I arrived at the house within the hour and everyone was already there, waiting for me to arrive. My father was waiting for the door and helped me out of the carriage. He smiled and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“How is my birthday girl?” He asked kindly,

“I’m well, how was your meeting with Senator Schuyler?”

“Good, everything went to plan. I also had a chance to meet the men I chose for you to meet tonight,”


“Y/n, we’ve had this talk on countless occasions before. I will not stand for my only daughter being nearly twenty and not wed. I would like to meet my grandchildren,” He said, seriously. I sighed, knowing there was no way out of this now. My father nodded in agreement to my silence on the matter and held out his hand for me to take. I did and together we walked into the house and into the big reception room where everyone was waiting.

We descended down the stairs and every clapped politely. Looking around I noticed a few of my friends, Lindsay, Hannah, Mary, Madeline but there was one person missing. Philip. I was disappointed, I really missed he’d come, I missed him so much and I hoped tonight I would at least get to see him. All was not lost, I would still have a great time.

The music began playing and I wove my way through the crowd of people, saying hellos and introducing various people to each other as I went then I got to my friends who quickly handed me a drink of champagne.

“Y/n!” Madeline squealed as she gave me a quick hug. “Happy Birthday,”

“Thank you,” I smiled.

“Happy Birthday!” Lindsay, Hannah and Mary sang together as they returned to the little group.

“So… Have you met any of your suitors yet?” Hannah teased.

“No, and I plan on keeping it that way for as long as possible,”

“Well, you haven’t even met me yet,” A smooth voice said from behind me. I turned around and saw the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen. He was tall and very fit. He had surprisingly long dark hair and matching eyes that I seemed to get lost in, “Hi, I’m Thomas,”

“Y/n,” I said quickly after realising that I had been staring. “I’m Y/n,”

“I know, your father said you’d be here,” Thomas smiled, “I hope you don’t mind me taking your gorgeous friend for a while ladies?”

“Oh no, be our guest,” Mary giggled giving me a little push closer to Thomas.

“Have fun!” My friends called after me, I glanced back at them and grinned. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

We danced for while then Thomas took me upstairs and out to the small baloney which looked over the city park.

“It’s beautiful out tonight,” He commented as he leant against the metal railing.

“Quite,” I agreed. There was silence for a moment before Thomas piped up again.

“It’s quite odd for someone of your status to be un-wed,”

“Well I suppose I’m picky,” I shrugged.

“But can someone like you really afford to do that?”

“Excuse me?” I moved away from him, my hands on my hips in disgust.

“Well, you aren’t going to get any better looking you?”

“Are you calling me ugly, sir?” 


“But I’m not going get any better than you? Excuse me sir but what exactly is so attractive about you?”

“You forget who my family is, Y/n,” Thomas hissed grabbing my arm roughly, taking me by surprise.

“You forget who mine is Thomas,” I growled back.

We stared at each other angrily, Thomas still holding a strong grip on my arm. Eventually, I ripped it away and stepped out his way.

“I suggest you leave before I shout for my father,” I said. Thomas glared at me but walked away.  I turned away from the doorway and angrily ripped the leaves off the climbers growing up to the balcony.

I thought I had a chance with Thomas, he was handsome and literally the definition of my type. Except for the fact he was a massive asshole. Of course, my father would choose someone like that. I could go back to the girls and forget about the whole situation. But there would be others, maybe ones even worse than Thomas so I decided to stay where I was on the balcony, angrily picking leaves off the plants climbing the railings.  

“Miss L/n?” A voice said from behind me, still annoyed with what had just happened I did not even bother to turn around.

“Leave me alone,” I said bitterly.

“But I brought you a beer?”

Only one person would ever bring me a beer. It was Philip. I turned around and gasped happily when I saw it was him. He put his glasses down and gave me a big hug.

“I thought you weren’t coming? Father said-“

“You’re Father forbid me from coming tonight, I know, but I couldn’t miss out on your party could I?”

“He’ll kill you if he finds out you’re here,”

“At least I die a happy man,” Philip smiled, his hands were still on my waist and there was something different about the way he was looking at me. It was almost lovingly.

“Philip, are you alright?”

“I’ve never been better,”

“Where’s Annabeth?”

“Annabeth? Oh, she couldn’t come tonight,” Philip said uncomfortably.

“Why not? I thought you really liked her,”

“I did, she was gorgeous but she has nothing on you,” Philip took my hand and looked me straight in the eye, “Absolutely nothing,”

“Are you okay Philip? You’re acting rather odd,”

“I’m not. I’ve just finally got up the courage to finally say this to you,” He took a deep breath and swallowed down his nerves. I waited anxiously for what he was going to say. “You’re beautiful Y/n. Every single thing about you is perfect and I don’t know why I didn’t realise how in love I was with you.” Philip gave a short laugh and shook his head, “Maybe that’s why I sleep with those women, I’m just trying to get the thought out of my head that I do in fact love you. And I’m not talking like a best friend. I am absolutely completely in love with you. I think that’s what the problem is, my affections for you are way too much for me to fully comprehend. I don’t care anymore whether you see me in the same way or not because I just had to tell you, Y/n,”

“Mr Hamilton,” A voice called from the hallway and Philip let go of me. I frowned and gave him a worried look, “Mr Hamilton I know you’re still here,”

“I’m sorry Y/n, I have to go,” He quickly placed a kiss on my cheek and checked round the corner to see my father and two other men walking down the corridor. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, I promise,”

With that, he jumped over the railing and I hid just beside the door so the men walked past. I watched as Philip successfully landed on the grass below and blew a kiss up to me.

This would definitely be a birthday to remember.


@mybittersweetbullshituniverse @bethanystan @lindsaylove1226 @bcr36

The Things Castiel Lost

S4          He gave up his loyalty—Because the angels were wrong.

S5           He gave up his service—Because humanity deserved more.

S6           He gave up his faith—Because he no longer belonged.

S7           He gave up his sanity—Because he had to right his wrong.

S8           He gave up his family—Because he tried to fix it.

S9           He gave up his believers—Because HE was worth more.

S10         He gave up his grace—because he could not lose HIM.

S11         He gave up his life—because Cas was in love.

Poem Thing

Okay so I was rereading some of my WIP’s, and I meant to write, but then I started saying a poem. So instead of saying it, you all get the poem i typed out of it. Additionally, this is actually like a rough outline of the next multi chaptered work I’m trying to write by myself. I have no clue what the plot is, aside from Castiel x Reader. And it comes from the heart (and my own personal fantasies). But I have 2900 words written and it is killer. Heavy on the Quantum!Cas, with a bit of Quantum!Reader too. Very plotty.

Anyway. Spoilers. Here’s the rambling my mind did this afternoon:

You stood there, glaring out into the night

It came

It slashed

You fell

Laying there bleeding on the ground

Close to death.


Come two men

Barreling in

Really tall plaids, the both of them

They stabbed it

Really did kill it

Kill it to death.

And then

They saw you

Bleeding all over the grass

Taking your last breaths.

The shorter one prays

Calling for an angel from on high

Will this be the last sound you hear?

A prayer from a stranger?

But then

A miracle

Another man arrives

But he is not really a man-

No, its an old hallucination.

You reach out

Limbs weak

Crying ‘Tom, Tom’

‘You’ve come to take me home’

‘I have waited ever so long’

He kneels,

Puts two fingers on your forehead,

And then-

A shock.

No more pain

No wounds

Just tears on your blouse.

You sit up; confused

Why did he do that?

He know how much you’ve longed for release

From this life

This form-

All so restricting.

You tell him so.

‘It’s not your time yet’

He replied

Deep and mysterious.

You sigh,


‘Fair enough’

You say,

And stand up,

Staying right next to him- Your guardian angel.

From my notes of:

The reader is close to death from wounds from a monster when the Winchesters come barreling in, killing it. They call Castiel to heal her. She is delirious, talking about her angel has come down from Heaven to take her home. She calls him Tom, and how she has waited so long.

Cas heals her, at which point she sits up, very confused. Asks why he did that; that he knew that she wanted to go. He said that it was not her time yet. She sighs and nods, standing up and very close to him.

There’s more to the paragraph but I’m protecting my baby from the world *hugs the unnamed fic*

Official tags (Let me know if you’d like the be added or removed!):

@scarletluvscas @tornadoecat @bloodstained-porcelain-doll @greenappleeyes @wheresthekillswitch @goldenangelbloodcastiel @casbabydontgoineedyou

AND @peculiarlyrene @theoriginalvicki @justafangirlinaspnworld-blog

Valentines Fandom Poem

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This poem is old school

So let’s try something new

Rose’s hair is red

The Tardis is blue

Let’s be companions

And watch Doctor Who

Angels wear trench coats

Demons wear scarfs

Let’s watch supernatural

And ride in Dean’s car

John Watson is bright

Sherlock Holmes can deduce

Let’s watch BBC’s Sherlock

We can both make a truce

England drinks tea

America is hyper

Let’s watch Hetalia

It’s a big stereotyper

Trolls are grey

Gamzee always lives

Let’s read Homestuck

Though we don’t know what gives

Titan’s are big

Human’s are food

Let’s watch Attack on Titan

It’ll ruin our good mood

Sunrises are red

Sunsets are golden

Let’s stay best friends

Until the day’s become olden

(Send this to anyone, this poem can be to a lover, a friend, a best friend, a husband, a wife, just about anyone, PLEASE CREDIT ME!)