a single pun

Theres a lot of these “remember these ancient tumblr trends??” posts but somehow none of them mention the Hannibal fandom.

Like Hannibal was?? huge on tumblr?? to the point that some Superwholockians were mad about Hannibal trying to become the fourth installment. The actors wore actual flowercrowns to con because tumblr wouldnt stop putting them in photo edits. Every single cannibal pun showed up on tumblr in photoset form. headcanon names for Will’s 1000 dogs.

Hannibal was huge on tumblr and then its last season was some kinda abstract art piece and then it vanished and I…don’t totally know what happened.

Space pick up lines 😙🌌

Are you the winds on Neptune? Because you take my breath away.

I sent all your selfies to nasa, because you’re a star

Are we on Jupiter? Because your hand is heavier than normal, here let me hold it for you

Are you made of fluorine iodine and neon? Because you are F I Ne

Even in 0 g, I’d fall for you

Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you

You deserve a ring the size of Saturn’s

You’re hotter than Venus ;)

Are you mercury? Because you’ll always be first to me

Let’s get astrophysical

so i went to the bathroom at chili’s and it was super air conditioned in there. i was by myself and i said ‘wow it’s really cold in here’ and then followed it up with ‘one might even say it’s….chilly’

and i realized this is it. this is why im single. i make puns to myself in an empty bathroom.

More Marauder’s Headcanons
  • I swear the Marauders must’ve made a god-awful volume of puns after getting their animagus forms straight. They had no self-control and made about five puns a conversation.
  • So one day in third year, after producing patronuses for the first time (they skived off divination), they make their way to transfiguration. They are so elated.
  • What follows leaves everyone amazed and perplexed. (“What on earth are they up to now?”)
  • McGonagall is in a foul mood already, and she snaps to them, “You had better not cause any problems this class.”
  • “Oh no, we would never deer,” answers Sirius. “That would be simply pawful.”
  • The three other Marauders somehow manage to keep a straight face as James pipes up, “Now, us Marauders being quiet. Isn’t that a simply ratical idea?”
  • Remus, with barely contained giggles, adds, “No, we’re too fawn of transfiguration. To make a ruckus would be to be barking mad.”
  • All three of them turn to Peter. Peter, the one who is always so enthusiastic, but the one who isn’t the brightest either. “Well,” he says with a completely blank face. “This entire conversation has been howl-arious, but we must stop talking, or the consequences will be ruff.”
  • With this, the Marauders break into laughter, and do not calm down until all of them are given detention by an irate McGonagall. (Although James swears he saw her lips quirk for a second.)
  • Once, one day in fourth year, when Peter accidentally blurts out the prank plan to Lily Evans, the Marauders all get detention. They, however, cannot stop laughing when Peter apologizes at the top of his voice, “Sorry for ratting you out.”
  • At dinner, some day (let’s face it, every day) in fifth year, Sirius shouts out, “Remus! Looks like you’re wolfing down the pie!”
  • To which Remus would respond exasperated, “This is getting out of hound.”
  • Obviously, James and Lily’s wedding was the greatest opportunity to makje puns. “Oh deer,” sighs Remus. “My hart is singing.”
  • “For real, doe,” agrees Peter.  
  • When James and Lily go on their honeymoon, Sirius says that they “must be fawn-icating.”
  • But when Remus faces the dead bodies of his friends, Remus cannot bring himself to make a single puns. In his hearts of hearts, in another world, he would’ve made the joke, “Prongs, what are you doing down deer on the floor?”
  • But he can’t because he is too stunned, too unfeeling.
  • There was once a time when the Marauders played on words. Now they do not speak at all, their voices silenced by the all-consuming, crushing silence of death.

SG Writers: *Introduces Jack Spheer as Lena’s ex-flame.* Alright look! Calm down! SuperCorp can’t be canon because Jack is a guy and he dated Lena therefore Lena is straight and not in love with Kara. Got it?

Me: But, now you come to me, and you say: “Lena is straight. Got it?” But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day Kara and Lena are to be married, and you ask me to believe this shit?

Fashion Pod Fashion Show!

Welcome all to the 2017 Slime Rancher Fashion Pod Fashion Show! All of our lovely models are brought to you today by Tabby Slimes, because they’re purrfect on the catwalk!

To start off this afternoon we have Josephine the Quantum Tabby with a smart look.

And next we have Dennis the Rock Tabby, with moves so quick that moustache is just a blur!

Here we have Lesley the Rad Tabby keeping it cool and bringing it in for a sick high-five!

Look at those twirls! This is none other than Sam, the most graceful Pink Tabby on the catwalk, sporting a lovely bow!

Who’s this goofball? Well it’s none other than… wait… there isn’t a name here? Who let them in?

Next up we have Laurence the Honey Tabby! What a sweetie! Look at that dashing bowtie!

And- Harold! You didn’t HAVE to show up if you didn’t want to be here. 

And here we have Stephan the Phosphor Tabby, with- Oh. There he goes. Must be off to an important business meeting.

The star of our show! Alice the Hunter Tabby showing off her best strut for the catwalk. As the Queen of the Cats, we expected none other than her shiniest tiara!

The pun master sits alone in a cave on the summit of Mt. Ain.

A challenger approaches.

“I have heard all puns, every single one.” the master says without turning around.

Challenger: “How to do you make holy water?”.

Master: “You boil the hell out of it.”

The challengers mutters under their breath

Challenger: “Why couldn’t the skeleton laugh?”

Master: “Because it broke its humerus/funny bone.”

Challenger: “I didn’t like this mule-”

Master: “Because it was half-assed.”

Challenger: “Why could the accountant only calculate odd n-?”

Master: “Because they broke even.”

Challenger: “Which side of the chicken-”

Master: “The outside.”

Challenger: “Two hats-”

Master: “I’ll go on a head.”

Defeated, the challenger turns around and exits the cave.

The master sighs. One day they’ll know true satisfaction once again.

More Single Parents of Janus headcanons. 

  • Strickler’s kid and little Enrique grow up into the best of friends. It just kind of… happens. Claire and Jim are together a lot, and Strickler is always finding reasons to be around and the babies just sort of get thrown together. 
  • Otto does all the Parent/Child matching clothes photoshoots, and will cheerfully refer to the little familiars as Mini Mes. 
  • The babies spent the last few centuries in stasis, being cared for by goblins. They aren’t afraid when their new parent’s face changes to something more inhuman, and they giggle at magic. The Darklands changed them, just a little. 
  • On the plus side, all these kids end up with guardians who can predict their growth spurts down to a tee because they lived them. Puberty holds no surprises. On the downside… everyone knows exactly how the kids are going to turn out. 
  • Looks wise, at least, because personality ends up being a lot more all over the place. Cheerful Otto’s baby self is a sleepless little hellion who runs him ragged. (And then grows into the grumpiest little guy.) Nomura has a bonafide ball of sunshine on her hands, she won’t stop giggling, why won’t she stop giggling? Tiny Strickler is always bouncing off the walls and hates reading. It’s a valuable reminder that they are different people. 
  • Most of them are stay at home parents by necessity. They don’t want to entrust their lifeline to daycare, or risk some supernatural danger coming to their magic touched kids. Even Strickler takes a break, cashes in some of his savings, and focuses on full time parenting and part time changeling organization management. (They schedule Skype calls around naps.) He’ll go back to work when the baby is old enough to be in school. A few of the changelings who are married to humans (a complicated enough endeavor on it’s own, since most of those relationships have some, uh, fundamental issues) and have a little bit more backup negotiate part-time positions. 
  • Nomura loves her museum and refuses to give it up, so she gets a baby carrier and does archival work with an infant tugging on her hair. Baby Nomura accidentally swallows a few roman coins when she gets old enough to toddle, but otherwise the arrangement works. 
  • It helps that Draal comes over a lot at night and is excellent at baby soothing. In between apologies and life saving and mid-battle confessions, Nomura is willing to tolerate his presence, especially if he helps her move around heavy exhibits. They’re both going to live for centuries, they have time to work things out. 
  • Barbara is actually the official head of the Order of Janus now. She took over in the middle of a bad situation, and since she can successfully negotiate with Trollmarket and flat out boss around the Trollhunter, everyone agreed to keep her. Strickler does a lot of the day to day stuff though. Barbara still has a job, and is a very busy woman. 
  • Their relationship is complicated, but definitely there, and Jim has silently resigned himself to a step-sibling in the next few years. He doesn’t count on the surprise half-sibling, but he loves them both. 
  • There is a strict “no children in Trollmarket” rule, instituted by Barbara, for the sake of safety. That rule gets broken during the rare crisis, when danger threatens Arcadia Oaks and it’s best to have everyone close to the Trollhunter in a secure place. Faye Lake is born during at Trollmarket during once such incident. Little Enrique and toddler Strickler are enchanted by their visit, and spend most of their childhood trying to sneak back into the place they can still dimly remember. 
  • Jim, Claire, and Toby grow up and “go to college” (ie: get a cave in Trollmarket together and take online classes) but they visit regularly and are the cool older siblings most kids dream of having. 
arm puns
  • Naruto: Oh no don't be scared of Sasuke - he's 'armless
  • Naruto: Tricks up his sleeve? There's nothing up his sleeve!
  • Naruto: Having trouble, Sasuke? Let me lend you a hand.
  • Naruto: Sasuke can take bad guys on single handed, no problem.
  • Sasuke: *mentally killing him*

who do i have to pay 2 never see the klance/spideypool thing again

  • what she says: I'm fine
  • what she's thinking: to make mare feel better after everything she's gone through, to calm her down, instead of treating her like glass-- which is what mare is trying to avoid-- cal said a pun proving to her that she isn't some delicate thing and that he loves her and instead of weeping for her he told her a joke which shows that not only are they dating but friends and that there best dating friends and I mean this makes me not ok that cas loves her so much and I mean I know it was only one single pun but I feel like my whole life I've been waiting for this moment