a scientist is always fine

Your Guide to Science, by Carlos the Scientist

What is science?

Science is an exact knowledge of what the future holds. The Webster’s dictionary definition of science is ‘ I don’t know, but I’m trying to find out, okay?’.

What isn’t science?

  • Horses
  • Plants and nature

Types of Science

  • Modern
  • Antique
  • Reverse

What you need to do science:

  • Microscopes
  • Vials of bubbling liquid 
  • Yourself making thoughtful expressions and saying things like “Hmm.”
  • A Danger Meter
  • A meter that makes squawking sounds sometimes 
  • A row of conical flasks, beakers, and Y-tubes that you pace in front of while furiously writing Greek letters and Arabic numbers 
  • Alternatively, a row of beakers, with different colored liquids, that you stand in front of, intermittently rubbing your chin and writing down long, complex, equations
  • A device looks a lot like a big umbrella. But it’s WAY more complex and scientific than that for reasons I do not have time to explain right now.

Things you do not need to do science:

  • Books

And Remember:

A scientist is always fine

me in the future buying a house: Hey these are nice doors what are they made of?

Real estate agent: Oh, these? These are a good sturdy pair of old oak doors, they-uh excuse me? Are you alright there? Why are you crying?

me, whispering: a scientist is always fine, I am perfectly fine leave me alone.

Sadly, Carlos is still in the desert – the same desert our new mayor was once trapped in. Fortunately, as Dana discovered, cell phone batteries last forever there, and there’s pretty good wifi, despite there being just vast amounts of sand and apparently, a mountain. But if our mayor can make it out fine, I think a scientist can too. Scientists are always fine.

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 50 - Capital Campaign


So yesterday I went to the LIVE show of Welcome to Night Vale and it was AMAZING! The whole crew, and especially Cecil himself, are such talented and incredible people!! I was so happy to see them, listen to them, and share this whole experience with extraordinary fellow listeners! It’s so cool WTNV has so many fans you probably don’t even know about.


Basically – it was great. Also, the Union Chapel in London as a set for the show made this all even more nigh vale-ish.


Goodnight, listeners, goodnight. 


Selfie meme!  I was tagged by the lovely thebadthing.  

#1, awesome bedhead.  #2, awesome hat.  #3, awesome nerdiness at work.  I count A Scientist Is Always Fine Welcome to Night Vale lab coat, Aperture Science mug, Hobbit pin, and Deathly Hallows earrings.  Yes, I wear this to my actual job as a veterinarian.  I’M A DOCTOR DAMMIT I DO WHAT I WANT.

Tagging apeacebone, biochemhippy and mordororbust to share 3 selfies each!