Your Guide to Science, by Carlos the Scientist
What is science?
Science is an exact knowledge of what the future holds. The Webster’s dictionary definition of science is ‘ I don’t know, but I’m trying to find out, okay?’.
What isn’t science?
- Plants and nature
Types of Science
What you need to do science:
- Vials of bubbling liquid
- Yourself making thoughtful expressions and saying things like “Hmm.”
- A Danger Meter
- A meter that makes squawking sounds sometimes
- A row of conical flasks, beakers, and Y-tubes that you pace in front of while furiously writing Greek letters and Arabic numbers
- Alternatively, a row of beakers, with different colored liquids, that you stand in front of, intermittently rubbing your chin and writing down long, complex, equations
- A device looks a lot like a big umbrella. But it’s WAY more complex and scientific than that for reasons I do not have time to explain right now.
Things you do not need to do science:
A scientist is always fine