a s h l e y i s a w h 0 r e

  • People using an Ouija Board, 2096: What do you want?
  • Me: t o c r a c k o p e n a c o l d o n e w i t h t h e b o y s
  • People: ...What?
  • Me: s o m e o n e p e e d i n t h e b a l l p i t
  • People: We don't understand! Please, who are you?
  • Me: s h r e k i s l o v e s h r e k i s l i f e
  • People: Shrek? What is Shrek? Is that your name?
  • Me: *the entire Bee Movie script, one letter at a time*

J I M 🔥Y O U R E 🔥6'11 🔥A N D 🔥Y O U 🔥 W E I G H 🔥9 0 🔥P O U N D S 🔥G U M B Y 🔥 H A S 🔥 A 🔥B E T T E R 🔥 B O D Y 🔥 T H A N 🔥Y O U 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 D W I G H T 🔥 Y O U R E🔥 A 🔥 K I S S 🔥A S S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 P A M 🔥Y O U 🔥F A I L E D 🔥A R T 🔥 S C H O O L 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 M E R E D I T H 🔥Y O U V E 🔥 S L E P T 🔥W I T H 🔥 S O 🔥M A N Y 🔥G U Y S 🔥Y O U R E 🔥 S T A R T I N G🔥T O 🔥 L O O K 🔥 L I K E 🔥 O N E 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥K E V I N 🔥 I 🔥C A N T 🔥D E C I D E 🔥 B E T W E E N 🔥 A 🔥 F A T 🔥J O K E 🔥A N D 🔥 A 🔥 D U M B 🔥 J O K E 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 C R E E D 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 T E E T H 🔥 C A L L E D 🔥Y O U R 🔥 B R E A T H 🔥 S T I N K S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 A N G E L A 🔥 W H E R E S 🔥 A N G E L A 🔥 W H O A 🔥 T H E R E 🔥 Y O U 🔥 A R E 🔥 I 🔥 D I D N T 🔥 S E E 🔥 Y O U 🔥 T H E R E 🔥 B E H I N D 🔥 T H A T 🔥 G R A I N 🔥O F 🔥 R I C E 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 S T A N L E Y 🔥 Y O U 🔥 C R U S H 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 W I F E 🔥 D U R I N G 🔥 S E X 🔥 A N D 🔥 Y O U R 🔥 H E A R T 🔥 S U C K S 🔥B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 Y O U 🔥 A R E 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 Y O U R E 🔥 G A Y 🔥 A N D Y 🔥 C O R N E L L 🔥 C A L L E D 🔥 T H E Y 🔥 T H I N K 🔥 Y O U 🔥 S U C K 🔥 A N D 🔥 Y O U R E 🔥 G A Y E R 🔥 T H A N 🔥 O S C A R 🔥 B O O M 🔥 R O A S T E D 🔥 A L R I G H T 🔥 A L R I G H T 🔥 E V E R Y B O D Y 🔥 Y O U 🔥 K N O W 🔥 I 🔥 K I D 🔥 Y O U 🔥 K N O W 🔥 I 🔥 K I D 🔥 Y O U 🔥 G U Y S 🔥 A R E 🔥T H E 🔥 R E A S O N 🔥 I 🔥 W E N T 🔥 I N T O 🔥 T H E 🔥 P A P E R 🔥 B U S I N U E S S 🔥 S O 🔥 U H 🔥 G O O D N I G H T 🔥G O D 🔥 B L E S S 🔥 G O D 🔥 B L E S S 🔥 A M E R I C A 🔥 A N D 🔥 G E T 🔥 H O M E 🔥 S A F E 🔥

Updated Masterlist | 4.23.17

{Every time I update, I will change the date }

T O M  H O L L A N D 

Dating Tom Holland Would Include
You and Me
A Total Mess
More Like Her
Hands to Myself
Honest  |||  Part Two 
Tom & OFC
Prank Imagine 
Ex-Girlfriend Interview Imagine
Lovey Dovey Interview Imagine
Celebrity Crush Interview Imagine
Dressing Formal Imagine 
Thanking Tom Imagine
Facetiming Tom Imagine

P E T E R  P A R K E R 

Let it Grow 
Atoms
Just Smile
Secrets
Stay Away
Savior
Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman
Closed Door
Rain-Check
Finding You Outside Imagine
Finding Out Imagine
Finding Out (shorter version) Imagine
Project Help Imagine ||| Part Two 

J U G H E A D  J O N E S 

What Do You Feel ||| Part Two 
Black Sheep 

A R C H I E   A N D R E W S 

Misplaced Trust
Never Alone

C H R I S  E V A N S 

Stolen
Stone Cold Sober
Far From Boring 
Fatherhood Interview Imagine
Father Chris Imagine
Spilling The Beans Imagine
Taking Off Shirt Imagine
Giving In Imagine
Meeting New Boyfriend Imagine
Laughing Game Imagine
Divorcing Chris Imagine
That Look Imagine

S T E V E  R O G E R S 

Age Of Ultron Imagine
Asking For Permission Imagine
Disagreeing Sokovia Accords Imagine

S E B A S T I A N  S T A N 

Drunken Nights
Simple Hello  ||| Part Two
First We Had  ||| Part Two
Parting Ways
Annoyed Imagine
Don’t You Do That Interview Imagine

B U C K Y  B A R N E S 

Doll
Ghost 
Flawed
Brain Scrambled Imagine
Steve Telling Bucky Imagine
Afraid To Leave Imagine
Finding Out He Killed Imagine
Sent To Kill Imagine

T J  H A M M O N D 

She’ll Be The Death ||| Part Two 

J E F F E R S O N 

Wildflower

S H A W N  M E N D E S 

Roses

H A R R Y  S T Y L E S 

War Is Love |||  Part Two
Reaction Imagine
Caught In Interview Imagine

E D D I E  R E D M A Y N E 

Three Words
Panicked Interview Imagine
Platonic Interview Imagine
Platonic Interview Part Two Imagine
Costar Imagine

N E W T  S C A M A N D E R 

Newt Dating a Muggle / No-Maj
The Greatest Creation |||  Part Two
Yer A Wizard
I Wouldn’t Mind / OFC
Talking About You Imagine
Amazed By You Imagine
Dramatic & Sick You Imagine

E Z R A  M I L L E R 

Low-Cut

C R E D E N C E  B A R E B O N E

My Credence Plea
Under The Mistletoe
Monsters Lyrics
Helping Him Imagine
Helping You Imagine

D R A C O  M A L F O Y 

Bite The Hand That Feeds
Last Straw
Change Of Heart

H E R M I O N E  G R A N G E R 

Flustered Times
Good Advice
Crush Imagine

F R E D  W E A S L E Y 

Sentimental Gift Ft. George Weasley
Lost & Found
Take Care Imagine

S I R I U S  B L A C K 

The Return Of The Jackal
Son Imagine
All This Time Imagine
Getting Killed Imagine

R E M U S  L U P I N 

Sneaking In Late Imagine

H A R R Y  P O T T E R 

A Nervous Wreck
Dumbledore’s Army Imagine

H P  A E S T H E T I C S / M O O D B O A R D S 

Slytherin 
Slytherin 2
Herbology

S C O T T  M C C A L L 

Innocently Deadly
Finding Out Imagine

S T I L E S  S T I L I N S K I 

Denying You Imagine

P E T E R  H A L E 

Being The Reason Imagine
Leave Me Alone Imagine

S P E N C E R  R E I D 

Being Late Imagine
Your Voice Imagine

A A R O N  H O T C H N E R 

Jack’s Favorite Babysitter Imagine
Jack’s Favorite Part Two Imagine

a list of moments™ in musical theatre

-STAYYYYYY LITTLE VALLLLLENTIIIINE STAYYYYYYYYY and then the pause and the sudden decrescendo into “each day is valentine’s dayyyyy”
-ITS FROM JAPAAAAAAAAN and everything about that song
-all of “raise a little hell” and “this world will remember us” and everything about laura osnes and jeremy jordan
-the acapella part in “two by two” when they’re all clapping and some people are echoing and its just Pretty
-the harmonies on “moonlight swiiiiims”
-dum da da dum da da dum da da dum da da DUM DA DA DUM DA DA DUM DA DA DUM DA M A C A V I T Y M A C A V I T Y
-the dirty bum bum bum bum the dirty bum bum bum bum bum HE HAD IT COMIN
-and i dug deep down to the bottom of my soul…and cried…'cause…i…felt…N O T H I N G
-will i ever make a sound………………ON THE OUTSIDE ALWAYS LOOKING IN and the lights change and then you burst into sobs
-YOU ARE NOT ALONE (YOU ARE NOT ALONE) YOU ARE NOT ALONE (YOU ARE NOT ALONE) YOU ARE NOT YOU ARE NOT ALONE (YOU ARE NOT ALONE)…even when the dark comes crashing through when you need a friend to carry you and when you’re b r o k e n o n t h e g r o u n d…………Y O U W I L L B E F O U N D
-do you KNOWWWW how great my life is
-and your keys OH OH OH OH your ring of keeeeeeeyyyys
-FAAAME (I’M GONNA LIVE FOREVERRRR)
-TURN BACK OH MANNNNNNN BA DA DA DUM B O W !!!!
-literally all of grease the musical
-or if i were a bell i’d go DING DONG DING DONG DINGGGGGG
-evERYthing’s comING up roSES and daFFOdils
-OHHHH MAMA WELCOME TO THE SIXTIIIIES
-in new york you can JUST YOU WAIT in new york you can JUST YOU WAIT in new york you can be a new man IN NEW YORK NEW YORK JUST YOU WAIT
-the entirety of satisfied
-we won we won WE WON W E W O N
-if you stand for nothing burr what’ll you fall for …. i wanna be in the room where it happens the room where it happens……………and then the rest of that song from that point on
-its my candy store its my candy (mezzo harmony) its my candy store its my candy (soprano harmony) its my candy store its my candy STOOOOOORE WOAH OH WOAH
-YEAHHHHHH FULL STEAM AHEADDDD TAKE THIS DEAD GIRL WALKINNNNNG
-SEEEEEE YOU AROUNNNND (WHY-OHHHHH) AROUNNNNNNNND (WHY-OHHHHHHHHH) WOAHHHHHHHHH WOAH WOAH OH OHHHHH I’LL BE DOWNTOWNNNNN
-into the woods !!!! into the woods !!!! yes into the woods and out of the woods and HOME BEFORE DARK
-everybody say yeaheeeeyeah (yeaheeeyeah)
-i am so much better ……… THAN BEFORRRRRRRRRRRE
-who am i ….. TWO FOUR SIX OH ONNNNNE
-REDDDD THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MENNNNN
-every day a little deaaaaaaaaaath (and then they hold the note for a million years and its heartbreaking)
-WE ARE REVOLTING CHILDREN LIVING IN REVOLTING TIMES
-and andrey isn’t here……………(massive door slam)………………RAZ DAV TRI (the whole room lights up and you’re sobbing) AND THIS IS ALL IN YOUR PROGRAM
-the harmonies on the second AND THIS IS ALL IN YOUR PROGRAM
-i pity you i pity me i pity you AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-all of no one else because denée benton is a princess
-dollllllokhovvvv the assassinnnn
-its alright natasha … i’m heeeeerrrre … so neeeeaaar …
-IS THIS HOW I DIE (extreme jazz™ plays)
-my brother is quite madly in love ………. he is quite madly in love with YOU my deeeeeeaaaaarrrr yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah ohhhh OHHHHHHHHH OH HOW SHE BLUSHES HOW SHE BLUSHES
-amber gray in general
-I W I L L L O V E Y O U A N A T O L E
-natalie natalie natalie i must love you or die NATALIE NATALIE NATALIE
-remember me to s t e s h k a THERE GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE
-AND THE WORLD WILL KNOW
-THERES CHANGE COMIN ONCE AND FOR ALLLL
-I’M ALIVE I’M ALIVE I AM SO ALIVE
-and i’ll be happily happy yes happily happy and thoroughly SATISFIIIIIIIED
-the phantom’s theme
-ooooh oooooooooh ooh ooh JOIN US LEAVE YOUR FIELD TO FLOWER
-all of the Pulizter Prize winning musical Rent™
-LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAINNN
-i c e c r e a m … he bought me i c e c r e a m …vanilla i c e c r e a m … IMAGINE THAAAAT
-THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIVE
-every single song in spring awakening what a jam™
-SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORRRRRRRRRGE
-if i could concentrate…………I’D BE IN THE FOLLIES
-FREELY FLOWS THE BLOOD OF THOSE WHO M O R A L I Z E
-play it coooooooooool boy
-defying gravity as a whole
-FIYERRRRRRROOOOOOO
-ease on down ease on down the roooooaaaaad

R E A D Y F O R I T: is a more of a warning than a question. a sign of things to come. a simple warning shot before the gunfight. to let you know that something is about to happen. telling you to prepare yourself. it’s just the beginning in the over all story. 

E N D G A M E: is for the lovers who, despite the odds, believe they can make it through this crazy game called life. it’s wanting to break your reputation of bad endings and make this be the one that lasts forever. it’s adrenaline rushes and planning your whole life out with someone. 

I D I D S O M E T H I N G B A D: is for all the witches they were unsuccessful at burning. it’s lit fireworks crackling in your rib-cage and fiddling with the laces of your warn out combat boots and already ripped fishnets and applying perfectly winged eyeliner without trying and bright red lipstick to match the blood of your enemies.

D O N T B L A M E M E: is for the passionate, reckless, fearless lovers. the ones who fall in love without hesitation and without permission. they dive in head first without looking back. they don’t care if it makes them seem crazy because they would rather be crazily, passionately in love than live an indifferent and emotionless life. it’s for when you find that one person you would risk everything for. 

D E L I C A T E: is for the doubt that takes residence in your head and in your heart when you finally get the courage to dust yourself off and fall for someone new after you got your heart broken. it’s terrifying and temporary and fragile and beautiful because it’s fleeting. it can never last forever, or so you have been led to believe. it’s for the cautious dreamers. the damaged lovers who have been left for dead too many times to count. 

L O O K W H A T Y O U M A D E M E D O: is for the defeating moment when you finally take the blame just to ease the heat. it’s for when every one thinks that they finally buried you but like a phoenix, you rise from the ashes reborn. it’s taking a lighter and burning every thing to the ground. it’s finding out just how good revenge can feel. 

S O I T G O E S: is nights at bars and restaurants and films and parties and weekends that you know can’t possibly last forever. it’s silk dresses and high heels and smudged lipstick and scratches on your lovers back. it’s cashmere jumpers and messy hair and dark circles beneath your eyes because lately life has been so freeing, sleeping seems like a waste of time. 

G O R G E O U S: is for the endless summer nights and repeatedly making eye contact with the stranger across the bar. it’s starry eyes, rosy cheeks, and quiet seduction. it’s drinks in blues and pinks and tiny cocktail umbrellas and having so many you quit counting. it’s finding someone so physically flawless you can’t help but hate them, simply because you can’t have them. 

G E T A W A Y C A R: is for all of the lovers on the run from all of their past mistakes and rebounds. it’s for when they find someone with similar baggage and decide to find distraction in each other. it’s for seeking a fresh new start. it’s secretly kissing in diner booths, holding hands under the table, and kissing each other with recklessness on your lips. it’s knowing that this is temporary, but that’s what you love about it.

K I N G O F M Y H E A R T: for the boys and girls who make a key to their heart and give it to each other. it’s the truth and vulnerability one must have to be able to do that. it’s for the five am rooftop conversations. it’s getting dressed up just to dance with each other around the living room. 

D A N C I N G W I T H O U R H A N D S T I E D: it’s nights spent dancing with each other around the house. it’s lips that taste like safety, and that’s something you haven’t had in so long you’ve forgotten what it taste like. It’s the drop of your stomach just before you jump. This is for the desperate but hopeful lovers. 

D R E S S: is his drink in your hair, on your lips, in your hands. it’s crumpled bed sheets. it’s when the sun rises in the morning and your eyes meet the same sleeping lover beside you. it’s lace bra-lets and knee-high boots. 

W H Y W E C A N T H A V E N I C E T H I N G S: is for when the hurt and betrayed turn into the unforgiving and unafraid. it’s when your mouth is filled with unforgiving teeth. it’s reaching a point of anger, you can’t help but burst into laughter. you can’t help but joke about the whole thing. it’s shards of broken glass and anger to the point of apathy. 

C A L L I T W H A T Y O U W A N T: is for the lovers who find comfort and validation in one another. they don’t have anything to prove. it’s hand written lovers and blankets under covers. grinning from ear to ear alone in your room. the promise of something bigger than this. a taste of forever. it’s cups of tea in the morning and wine at night. it’s the kind of love that could inspire classic romance novels. 

N E W Y E A R S D A Y: is for when every one else has gone home and you are the only two remaining. when the party is over, but the best part of the night has yet to come. it’s time standing still when it’s just you two. it’s air kissed curls and deep two in the morning conversations on kitchen counters. it’s wanting to stay forevermore. 

marina and diamonds albums according to tumblr

The Family Jewels: never happened
Electra Heart: ♡  I    K N O W     S I X    O F    T H E S E     S O N G S     ♡    I     W I L L    Q U O T E   T H E    S A M E    T H R E E     L Y R I C S    O N     P I C T U R E S    O F     H O U S E S   ♡      I     W I L L     N O T    S T O P    U N T I L    I ’ V E     D O N E     A L L   T H E     H O U S E S    ♡   T H A T   I S   A   L O T   O F    F U C K I N G    H O U S E S    ♡

FROOT: never happened

2

When Archie told me about his little plan to help you, get you on your feet and working with Fred, deep down, I knew it was a mistake. Y o u  r e a l l y  h a d  m e. Cleaning the trailer. Convincing me that you had quit drinking. I  w a s  s o  h a p p y. For the first time in so long. You paid attention to me. Let’s be honest. The only reason you even read my manuscript about Jason’s murder was to make sure I wasn’t onto you. And you didn’t want to take me to Toledo to get the family back together. You wanted to get away. You wanted to run away. I did what I had to do! What I always to do!

You know what?

I really want to close the asks because a lot of people just doesn’t know how to read

Then again I really enjoy interacting with the community through here and it’d be like shooting myself in the foot. But seriously you all out there with absolutely no patience or consideration for me as a person are ruining this for me

C H I L L   T H E   F R E A K   O U T   W I T H   T H E   

Q U E S T I O N S  A N D 

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
B E F O R E    Y O U    A S K    A G A I N