a real pippin of a dream

You’re an Idiot

Riarkle fic from a tumblr prompt:  Farkle had to deal with a lot these past few years, but he’s managed to still be the level headed genius that we all know and love. But it isn’t until Lucas get the role of Pippin that Farkle finally snaps and voices his frustrations about the past few years.

Rated G

Posted on AO3, here

Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.

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Klaine Thoughts after 6x07

One of the things that has been frustrating to me reading people’s conversations around Klaine after the kiss in the elevator (and after Kurt’s glance down the hall last week!) is the “Yay! barrier surmounted! NOW they can get together!” talk. 

Blaine keeps walking away, conflicted because he ALREADY knows he loves Kurt. That has never been the issue. The issue is that he doesn’t believe Kurt loves HIM. And I hope that in his therapy he has learned to be careful and not act out of “wishing and hoping.”

All through Blaine’s life, as we’ve seen it, he has again and again let himself run away with the story he’s telling himself in his head rather than what is playing out in front of him:  

  • He thinks that Jeremiah and he are dating and are in love, when in reality they’ve had coffee a few times.
  • When he pulls away in Season 3, it is because he’s told himself a story where he will be a drag on Kurt, and that he’ll be all alone the next year. And he continues to believe that, which results in his intense isolation in early season 4. 
  • He convinces himself that Kurt is enjoying life in New York and has forgotten all about him, so it won’t matter if he responds to Eli’s invite. He gets in so deep that he is convinced this won’t hurt Kurt.
  • He decides Dalton is his destiny and that he can find a safe haven there again, despite obvious red flags that the Warblers bear no resemblance to the joyous band he was part of in season 2.
  • He clings to the soulmate trope and persists in seeing all his interactions with Kurt through that lens, not seeing the hookup at the wedding as the casual encounter Kurt intends.
  • He believes that he HAS to ask Kurt to marry him, that otherwise he will lose him to New York and some faceless guy, so persists in his plan for a big spectacle despite Burt counseling him against it.
  • He decides that because his friends say he’s bossy, he is the Puppet Master. And from that he decides that clearly he only likes people he can control and that he fears intimacy. (Watching what we see is how much he craves approval. But that’s not the story he tells himself.) 
  • Once in New York, he decides that his own feelings of inadequacy are the only truth, and can’t accept that Kurt loves him as he is. So cue up the overreaching, the trying too hard, all those actions that frustrate Kurt and lead to Blaine moving out.
  • He decides that somehow it’s his job to promote Kurt’s success and that June Dolloway will be swayed to his point of view despite her repeatedly stating her disdain (and perhaps effemiphobia) toward Kurt. His refusal to see that her mind wasn’t going to be changed contributed as much to the lies as his fear of hurting Kurt.

(That got long!) I think the Blaine we see now is trying hard to live in the real world. That world has been a job where he can be useful and a relationship where he can be playful and honest, Like Pippin, he has found a quiet life, unlike the reaching for the sky he dreamed of for so long.

He also showed us a lot in the first shows this season that he’s angry with Kurt. Has he forgiven him for giving up on them? Even after we break down all the external barriers–distance, other relationships, show choir competition–we are still left with some pretty important internal barriers. Blaine may kiss Kurt (because he’s a ridiculous impulsive boy), and he may know that he loves him, but there is fear there too. Fear, not that Kurt doesn’t love him (Kurt has told him so), but that Kurt won’t fight for that love, that he still thinks of love as something you feel, not something you do. Blaine needs to know that Kurt won’t give up again, that they can find a way to live their lives together and apart, that they can support each other no matter what paths they take. 

But Kurt has been paying attention this season too.

Kurt came to Lima, and as we saw in Scandals, there was a part of him that thought, “Hey! I’ve done this work on myself in therapy. I know how to fix this!” and that he just had to show up for Blaine to fall into his arms. But he has had to accept that Blaine hasn’t just been sitting on a shelf, waiting. Dave’s presence was a real thing he had to accept. I hope that there is more process than him learning that Blaine is free, that instead they do what Dave suggests: this can’t be healed just by singing your feelings, but by honest conversation. 

So Blaine runs to let Kurt know that he’s on his way back to him, and is confronted with Kurt going on a date. Walter is the face of reality to Blaine, and it’s a sign of his growth that he didn’t just hand-wave his presence in Kurt’s life away. Let’s hope Kurt, who can sometimes be so tuned into Blaine, becomes curious about his appearance at McKinley, asks questions, and actually shows Blaine that he’s really ready to fight for them, not just fight to get Blaine back, but fight to make this work.