a raw muse

If you must leave, say so during the night when I am at my happiest. When I am dancing around the kitchen, wearing a silly apron that you bought for me because honey, then, I might and I will dance the pain away.
If you must leave, tell me in the morning when I am barely awake. Do not stop me from setting up breakfast. Let me cook for you. Let me bring you coffee. Do not hide your reasons. Give me the truth. For in the morning, when my eyes are barely open, I might shrug it off as just another nightmare.
If you must leave, please do not shed a tear and don’t be afraid to look me in the eyes. You don’t have to stay if it bothers you. Do not apologise. You do not owe me anything. I have always set you free and I will continue to do so.
If you must leave, don’t tell me that I deserve better. Don’t tell me that we weren’t meant to be. You know you’ve always been the one. You know it was always meant to be.
If you must leave, please stay gone. Do not ask my friends about me. Do not wish me on important dates. And please do not knock on the door. You know small talk with you breaks my heart. I have told you so.
And if you must leave, erase my memories. Do not look at my pictures, do not think about calling me when you’ve had a little too much to drink.
If your heart no longer holds any love for me, if your eyes do not search for me in places and if the thought of seeing me doesn’t fill your stomach with butterflies then please don’t stay. Don’t be half gone. Pack up your memories and leave completely and immediately.
—  If you must leave // Astha (via uponthisearth)
double destiny be damned; pete dunne

SUMMARIZED:

The reason behind Pete’s decision to go angry and Hulk smaaash Enzo Amore right in the fucking jaw. Because if there’s one thing the Universe needs to know, it’s this.. You do not, under any circumstances, mess with an Alpha’s Omega.

Ever.

Especially if said Omega also happens to be his soulmate.


Using a/b/o dynamics [ spoiler alert] aaaand the soulmate prompt where everyone is given a timer when they’re born and when your timer reaches 00:00, you’ve found your soulmate. Because apparently, this is what happens when I watch Pete Dunne tribute videos AND replays of that epic punch Pete gave Enzo. ALSO ALSO.. There will be more than one part to this. This is just the first part.


[ fanfictions ]


[ tag angels ]

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Originally posted by wrestlingxbalorxrollins

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vimeo

The Visit(or) 

Featuring zenkittenblueriverdream

Shot during a workshop, many camera setups, yet I still managed to get some awesome photos: (see more over on my Commercial Photography: carlyrocksphotography

Little late to the freak out party, but my gosh was this chapter amazing and moving and badass and sad and *rambles on for a good half hour* all at the same time!! I mean, we don’t even have a full translation, yet:

  • Xing group cover ;__;
  • Lots of Voldo screen time, yes!
  • Where the frick is Yotaka??
  • Mizali… being Mizali. I ain’t complainin’
  • Yona being all, “Move bench, get in da way!”
  • “I saw a man so beautiful I started crying” Jae-Ha edition #589
  • Honestly, where the flying frick is Yotaka?!?
  • Shin-Ah power explosion. I was honestly scared, the art was so expressive for his entire scene. Terrifying!!
  • On-screen decapitation… #3? I think we’re at 3 now, right?
  • Beautiful Shin-Ah, for contrast, of course~
  • Okay, I’m betting now that Yotaka is somewhere putting on his makeup and will waltz in after the battle all, “’Kay, I’m ready… where’s the threat?”
  • ONE MONTH WAIT!? *dies*

Below is a list of AU plots focused around the music industry

  • Muse A is a personal manager who is so invested in the band that they are managing on tour, this is their chance to prove themselves. Muse B is the groupie who is there to attach themselves to the hard, drunk, and pretty douchebag-y lead singer who ignores her half the time. Muse B spends early morning and late nights sharing their dreams and thoughts with Muse A, and Muse B can’t understand what they see in the lead singer.
  • Muse A is a music journalist known for their no attachment approach to their gigs. Muse B is a musician known for shock and scandal. Muse B has a challenge for Muse A. They will give them all the info they need for a hard hitting story, only if Muse B comes along for the ride.
  • Muse A is a photographer for a popular venue. Muse B rarely ever misses a show. Muse A never misses a chance to photograph the beauty of Muse B in their element. When they meet, Muse B challenges Muse A to stop viewing lift threw a shutter and just….live.
  • Muse A has a gift, a voice sent from the gods. But they also have a haunted past and a troubling present. Muse B is hired as the new body guard, hired to protect Muse A from themselves as much as other people. But maybe Muse B can not only protect Muse A, but save them from themselves
  • Muse A is an intern at a music production company. But their dreams have been pushed down as they have spent the last four months doing little more than running boring errands. Finally after pushing they get charged with making one of their high maintenance clients happy while they record an album. Muse B is a well known musical artist that may or may have not been called a primadonna before. But maybe Muse A can break those walls
  • Muse A is a well known choreographer who is preparing a group of back up dancers for a high profile world tour. Muse B has this secret dream of becoming a dancer but is crippled by anxiety and shyness. Muse A sees muse B dance as a club while fueled by alcohol and offers them a spot on the tour. But can Muse A break Muse B out of their shell and get them to embrace their raw talent?
  • Muse A is a hard living musician. Somewhere down the line the drugs, the sex, the partying became what they were about. Muse B has been their assistant for years, trying to navigate Muse A through ever mess they have gotten themselves in. Everyone said Muse B should have quit a long time ago, but how can you quit on someone you are pretty sure you are in love with?
  • Muse A is a backup session singer for bands and singers recording albums. Muse B is a producer’s new assistant. When Muse A is hired for backing vocals on the same project that Muse B has started with their producer, things get interesting. Muse B insists that Muse A has something that they have rarely seen before, but their producer disagrees. Muse B is determined to get Muse A into the spotlight
  • Muse A is a lyricist who ends up writing all the songs that Muse B preforms. Muse B is known for singing these haunting and intense songs, and when you sing these songs over and over you can’t help but wonder what spurs the emotion behind them. Muse B always wondered what pain caused these lyrics. Muse A and Muse B meet at a random concert for another band. Muse A knows Muse B obviously for their fame, but Muse B has no idea Muse A has been writing the words they belt out on the regular.

                                          there are no bargains
                                         between lions and men

                                               i will kill you
                                             and eat you raw

I see Bray Wyatt’s disapproval of the modern woman not as the typical “a girl broke my heart thus I am a bitter man” but as complete adoration of Sister Abigail. To him, Abigail was the perfect woman and all accounts depict her as an older woman, who was most likely more conservative than the women of today.

His prejudice against women who are not a reflrction of his object of affection are not a threat to him, but show a flaw in the so-called ‘truth’ that he preaches. Bray Wyatt claims to accept all who come to him, and asks them to come as they are - as long as they are broken, weak, and manipulable.

A woman who wears make up or alters her body with plastic surgery is either insecure and trying to rid herself of those insecurities, or very secure in her self esteem and is not afraid of what people think of her - it is a varied spectrum. But what matters is that the woman is actively in control of her own life.

She chooses to do her hair, she chooses to do her make up, she chooses to get plastic surgery - she chooses. Bray doesn’t like that. Bray wants obedience. Bray wants to choose while others obey.

When he attacks John Cena with taunts of his “plastic girlfriend”, he attacks John’s pride, insinuating that he loves a flawed woman. Thus, Bray exposes his opinion of women, which apparently is “less than him”, but he sees everyone except his beloved Sister Abigail as less than him. Nikki Bella does not fit his mold and vision as she is content in making her own choices.

Bray has had little to no interactions with women, but thereis no doubt that he would be condescending under the guise of sounding poetic and prophetic, feeding women backhanded compliments while playing his mind games. Bray aims to empower no one but himself.

Bray Wyatt claims women hide their beauty with lies from a bottle or from the cut of a surgeon’s knife, when all he really wants is women to accept his own brand of “lies” instead.

Two Roads Meet - Alternate Ending

Ok so here’s the thing

This was originally a chapter that I wrote for two roads meet (if you haven’t read it then u probably should do that first so this makes sense) somewhere after chapter 15 instead of the city bit in chapter 16 if u remember that but I deleted it because I didn’t think it was relevant enough to the story the way it was going (e.g. it wasn’t depressing and heart-wrenching enough I lvoe being a heartless writer ! )

ANYWAY as some of u might know I’ve been meaning to do an alternative ending to this fic for a while now and after many ma n y MAN Y attempts at writing it without feeling as if it was going anywhere I kiiinda gave up HOWEVER after revisiting this chapter I was feeling lik e    Hey maybe i could do something with this

In short I killed two birds with one stone and merged the two ideas together

SO I PRESENT TO YOU THE VERY LONG-AWAITED LOST CHAPTER/MARGINALLY LESS DEPRESSING ALTERNATIVE ENDING OF TWO ROADS FUCKING MEET

That was unnecessarily aggressive I do apologise ANYWAY WHOOP here we G O motherfukcers

-

It’s beautiful, here, Phil writes, balancing his book on the windowsill with the moon as a sufficient enough lamp in order to illuminate the pages in a pale glow. It’s nice, because I haven’t seen the coast properly since I was eight years old, and, he glances up, peering outside at the tall, jagged cliff edges on the other side of the window glass. I think it’s safe enough to say the beauty of the ocean and the beach is far too underappreciated. If we weren’t leaving tomorrow, I’d be perfectly content living here.

It must be so peaceful to live beside the coast, you know? To be on the edge of civilisation, looking one way towards the land, and the other towards the water. It must be nice, comforting, almost, to live with the knowledge an escape is only a matter of footsteps away. In the city, you’re trapped, essentially, in miles and miles of concrete and road and traffic and crowds. Some may find that comforting; they may find reassurance in the knowledge that in the city you’re never alone, but, he gulps. I find it suffocating.

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#readwomen

a while ago i started almost exclusively reading books by women writers. i don’t think it was a conscious decision so much as i’m just more interested in female writers. it is women that i care about the most. i want to support their work, read their words, see their perspective, share in their experiences.

when i look at my goodreads ‘read’ books, there are a few men in there, guillaume morrissette, richard brautigan, scott mcclanahan, ben lerner, richard chiem. but for the most part it is women. it’s not that i don’t think men aren’t good writers, if i want to read a book by a man i will, for instance i want to read 'wolf in a white van’ by john darnielle, because his music affected me a lot in my teens and i’m curious to read it. i just read 'lion attack!’ by oliver mol and i really enjoyed it. there are some male writers i used to like but have changed my tune on, murakami for example. it simply doesn’t interest me anymore. i will only read male writers that i’ve felt have proved themselves to me. i will give considerations for the males that i know and love of course.

i read a passage in 'heroines’ by kate zambreno that made me laugh: “the entire history of western literature is dominated by absolute pricks, i realise, pricks that can’t get hard but yet ejaculate with such eloquent language.”

reading about the male-dominated history of literature makes me aware of the special attention we need to give to female writers, who for so long were shunned from the literary world, being seen only as muses or “raw material” for their male counterparts. this is our time!!! in my own little world i barely even consider male writers, i just kind of forget they exist, all i see are woman writers, doing important and exciting things.

not only is it important to read books by woman, it is important to read books by woman of colour. a lot of us probably had literary upbringings that reinforced homogeneous, white experiences, when there are so many other non-western and non-white perspectives that were ignored. that’s why it’s important to read widely, so that we expose ourselves to the perspectives that are different from our own in order to understand the world better. 

suggestions for books we can read and thoughts welcome 

? - stacey

Okay, so I’ve been thinking (dangerous, I know) and what if this ‘Hak is from Xing’ theory turns out to be true and Hak has this entire family there - like a kickass mum, an awesome dad, sisters and brothers and cousins and aunts and uncles - all of whom thought they lost him years ago??

And what if at some point they realise that their lost son has returned, and Hak sees that he does have a family, and he wasn’t left as a child because he wasn’t wanted, and that he did come from somewhere and is worth something and is important to people. And what if they all meet and his mother and father are crying over this child they thought they lost and Hak’s just so happy to find such an important part of himself. 

I mean, don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. But… if it happens, I will cry so much. Omg, part of me hopes this (or anything remotely close) doesn’t happen because I will have to stay under my bed for days I’ll be so emotionally compromised. At the same time though… I need! *grabby hands*

art

wow, so, i’ve never been very good at these kinds of things. but i feel like this is a long time coming now. i’ve had this blog a little less than a month and i’m already pushing 400 of you beautiful beans, and i think it’s high time i show my appreciation! honestly, i haven’t felt this welcome in a community for a long time, and it’s really refreshing to find some many people that are open and welcome to not just my interpretation of this dumb cowboy, but me as a person. because of yall, and your support, i’ve managed to wriggle my way out of my shy shell and make some wonderful friends that i downright adore. so, here’s a shout out to yall!

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You had to wait until we were both beyond damned, didn’t you?

You couldn’t have just shrugged the next morning and said, “Look, that was a mistake and here’s why.”

You could’t have said, “Sorry, but no” instead of, “Call you later.”

You had to wait until I trusted you?

I love you so fucking much and I hate you for lying to me but I am so afraid of losing you, and my stupid heart still soars at the sound of your voice.

What have you done?

What have you done?

But the worst part is I can’t blame you.

Because I would have done the same

fucking

thing.

—  Grabbing onto an electric fence with both hands

I’m only human. I’m flawed. Don’t call me perfect, call me worth it. If you try to read the palms of my heart, you might be disappointed. There are no fingers and no lines. It’s ruptured glass as you moan your diamond breaths and I don’t know about this blood on the carpet. I’ll smoke, but the smog inside of my lungs, you might not like that. There’s pain in the form of water and it’s boiling point. My skin is falling off at every blink and the dark corners of my room look like a snake pit. I’m dark with a light dash of fucking help me. Can you save me?