a rational conversation

INTP: So oxygen went on a date with potassium… it went OK.
ENTP: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium… OMG.
INTP: Actually, oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.
INTJ: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.
ENTP: Looks like someone’s a HO.
ESFP: I’m done with all of you!

Characteristics of the Narcissist.

These characteristics apply to males and females

1. Self-centered. His/Her needs are paramount.

2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds.

3. Unreliable, undependable.

4. Does not care about the consequences of their actions.

5. Projects faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never their fault.

6. Little if any conscience.

7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others.

8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others.

9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and rage.

10. People are to be manipulated for their needs.

11. Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to their gain at other’s expense.  If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry.

12. Pathological lying.

13. Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, others.

14. No real values. Mostly situational.

15. Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate.

16. Angry, mercurial, moods.

17. Uses sex to control

18. Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions.

19. Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word.

20. Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment.

21. Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities.

22. Likes annoying others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason.

23. Moody – switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation.

24. Repeatedly fails to honor financial obligations.

25. Seldom expresses appreciation.

26. Grandiose. Convinced he/she knows more than others and is correct in all he/she does.

27. Lacks ability to see how he/she comes across to others.  Defensive when confronted with his behavior.  Never his/her fault.

28. Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow.

29. He/She breaks woman’s or men’s spirits to keep them dependent.

30. Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him.

31. Sabotages partner. Wants him/her to be happy only through him/her and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances.

32. Highly contradictory.

33. Convincing.  Must convince people to side with him/her.

34. Hides his/her real self.  Always “on”

35. Kind only if he/she gets from you what they want.

36. He/She has to be right. He/She has to win. He/She has to look good.

37. He/She announces, not discusses. He/She tells, not asks.

38. Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda.

39. Controls money of others but spends freely on himself.

40. Unilateral condition of, “I’m OK and justified so I don’t need to hear your position or ideas”

41. Always feels misunderstood.

42. You feel miserable with this person. This person drains you.

43. Does not listen because they do not care.

44. Their feelings are discussed, not the partners.

45. Is not interested in problem-solving.

46. Very good at reading people, so they can manipulate them.  Sometimes called gaslighting.

When INTP turns hippy vs. INTJ

INTP and INTJ are walking back from INFJ’s house. INTJ can’t stop sneezing because hay fever sucks. 

INTJ: If I had to be allergic to something of course it had to be spring-related.

INTP: How so?

INTJ:  I hate spring, I always have. And it just gets worse throughout the weeks. Spring symbolises the end of something, it is so depressing. 

INTP: Shouldn’t it feel like a beginning? 

INTJ: No. Finals come, it’s the end of the academic course and yet another year that was not as good as it could be. Autumn on the other hand…

INTP: But spring is indeed all about new beginnings, a new cycle. 

INTJ: Whut. 

INTP: It’s a new natural cycle! Everything blooms, the days are longer, nature resurfaces.

INTJ: (The fuck?). I don’t care about any of that compared to my yearly schedule. 

INTP: Everything looks beautiful and you’re just there. So grumpy. 

INTP: type questioning
  • INTP: *has a feeling*
  • INTP: fU CK MAYBE I’M NOT AN INTP???? MAYBE I’M AN INFP oh shit what if i’m an entp i liked being social that one time maybe i’m an enfp?!!1? gotta retake the tests and read over all the functions and recheck oh god what am i
  • INTP: wait but don’t intps question their type a lot? and isn't it just another sign that they’re an intp?
  • INTP:
  • INTP: oh whatever i have to check and make sure i can't be wrong about this
INTP-INFP dilemma
  • INTP: you can't make everyone happy,be rational for once.
  • INFP: I'm a mathematician,so i'm logical.
  • INTP: what?is mathematics same as logic?
  • INFP: idk...is rational same as logical?
  • INTP: ..
  • INTP: ..stop using philosophy to escape my questions.
  • INFP: in any case you'll have to pass through each one of them to get to me.
  • INTP: ..clever girl,you know it's logically impossible to answer them..
  • INFP: *devious smile*
oxymoron connection
  • ENTP is looking at INTJ's book
  • ENTP: "being and nothingness"
  • ENTP: that's like
  • ENTP: an oxymoron connection
  • ENTP: that's a new literary term, oxymoron connection
  • ENTP: it's when you take two really different things and show a connection between them
  • INTJ: that's called juxtaposition
  • ENTP: whatever
An Elucien Epilogue (ACOTAR fanfic)

This is an epilogue-esque ending to “A Court of Wings and Ruin”, so obviously SPOILER ALERT!

Summary: Lucien returns to Velaris after the events of ACOWAR, determined to be a better male than Tamlin and put aside his mating bond if that’s what Elain wants.

Thank you THANK YOU thank you to the wonderful, talented, and overall amazing @feyre-archerons-scrapbook // @the-other-sam for being my Beta reader and pointing out that somehow my brain decided Azriel was a “Shadowslinger” XD  She’s seriously the best- everyone follow her!

Keep reading

INTJ: Oh, hello, insomnia. Long time no see.

INTJ: *After a few hours ends up sending ENTP brother a long vocabulary list of various adjectives as an alternative to using the word “very”*.

ENTP: Have you seriously woken me up for this.

INTJ: Oh, didn’t mean to.

ENTP: It is 4 freaking 30 am.

INTJ: I know?

ENTP: Isn’t it too early for being such a nerd?

INTJ: It is never too early to enlarge and improve your lexicon! :D

ENTP: Jesus Christ.

INTJ: I also have a list of pagan deities, wanna see?

ENTP: Go. Back. To. Sleep.

Typical *NT* conversations:

*INTP and INTJ finds themselves in some deep shit*

INTP: *the outward calmness of INTJ makes him want to brain her with a brick* How do you intend to save us this time?

INTJ: *shrugs* I have a plan. Which may or may not work.

INTP: *drily* sounds like most of your plan. Perfect. Now,what..er..precarious.. role do you have in mind for me as usual?

INTJ: right. Can you steal a password protected file from a secured building? Leave the rest to me.

INTP: what?..why are you…is that even a plan or a wish??

INTP: *thinks for a while* ..okay,maybe its possible. What about the guard?

INTJ: Kill him.

INTP: …..

“Give a man” : NTs edition

-Give a man an INTP, and he will never run out of Star Wars/LOTR/[insert nerdy fictional universe here] puns.

-Give a man an INTJ, and he will never be right ever again.

-Give a man an ENTJ, and he will never run out of ideas about how can we wage war in order to establish a new empire whom he’d the ruler.

-Give a man an ENTP, and he will never run out of memes ever again. And alcohol. And coffee. And [insert highly addictive good/service here]

-Give a man the four of them and he will probably say to himself “I’m so fucked” as the world dominations schemes start to unfold.

NTs be like #5

*NT is in a good mood* 

Person: Oh, you’re so kind! So you are a good human being, after all! 

 You, inside:

Originally posted by ksenoglosja


 Original or requested: Original

 Pairing: Paul x Reader

 Word count: 730

 “You’ve lost your mind.” You feel so nervous that a laugh escapes your mouth. “He’s my friend! He’s just a friend! Is that so hard to understand? ”

 “Yes, because he loves you!”

 “He doesn’t love me, Paul! I’ve known him since forever.” You sit on the couch, closing your eyes for a few seconds to try to calm down.

 Paul freaked out when you told him you spend the day with Dean, an old friend. He came from Canada to see you since it’s been two years you’re living here in Forks.

 “You’re naive. You’ve always been naive and you can’t see what I can!” Paul is shaking, just like he’s just about to shift. You’re not scared. You were never scared of his temper.

 “I am smart enough to understand these things, Paul.”

 “I don’t think so since you’re apparently on his side.”

 “I won’t stop talking to him just because you’re jealous.” Picking up your phone, you text your friend Marilyn. She’s the only one who can help you with this kind of problems.

 “Don’t.” Paul takes the phone from your hands, throwing it at the wall. Shocked by his action, you gasp, trying not to punch him and break your arm. “You won’t text him.”

 “I WAS TEXTING MARILYN!” You yell, running to your bedroom. You start to pack your things while Paul tries to make you stop and the rest of the pack who’s home watching from the door frame. When you accepted to move in with the pack or your own safety, you used to complain about all those eyes on your relationship, but now you don’t care. “I’m done. If you don’t trust me then there’s no reason for me to stay. I love Dean like a friend and I love you because you’re the love of my life. Not my fault you can’t understand it.”

 “(Y/N), I’m still talking. Be rational and finish this conversation like an adult. ” The tone of his voice is rude and it breaks your heart.

 “I’m still leaving.”

 “I need you to stop crying and explain to me what happened.” Marilyn gives you some ice cream so you can eat something while you cry your heart out.

 “I told him I wanted he to think about us. But he told me he didn’t need to think. Then I told him I needed to think. Do you really think I would break up with him?”

 “I’m still confused.” Always honest, Marilyn takes a deep breath.

 “It’s about Dean!” You shout, making your friend jump on the couch.

 “Oh. Got it. But Paul loves you so much and I can understand him. He’s scared to lose you.”

 “He’s the love of my life. I already told him that a million times!”

 “I’m sure you did, but how would you act if he spent a whole day with a woman? Even if she’s just a friend of his? A whole day alone with her while you stay home.”

 You put the ice cream down to think. Well, to rethink. Maybe, just maybe, this is kinda your fault. Paul wouldn’t freak out if he went with you. And no, you wouldn’t like him to spend all that time with a friend.


 “Yes, shit. I’m not saying you have to apologize, but I do can imagine how he felt.”

 “I love him, Mary. So much.” You whisper, tears still rolling down your cheeks.

 “Call him.”

 And that’s what you do. Fearing that he may be rude to you like he did earlier, you patiently wait for him to answer the phone. When he finally answers, you both keep silent. Hearing his breath is enough to make you want to be with him again and this feeling takes your breath away. You barely feel it, this weird pain in your chest, since you’re always together, but you just can’t take it.


 “(Y/N), you have no idea how it hurts. Being away from you is… too painful.”

 “I know, Paul, I… I’m sorry. I love you. No one but you.” With a smile on your lips, you help Marilyn to pack up your things again. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. Whenever I want to see Dean you can come. I didn’t know how much it hurt you.”

 “I’m coming to bring you home. I love you.”

 “I love you too.”

A/N - Add me on Snapchat and Instagram: jullyh19